I want to leave but I'm not in danger

[Guest]

Hi,, I'm 16 and have severe depression and anxiety and ADHD. I'm a huge introvert with rejection issues and a terrible fear of being abandoned. Also, I'm a trans boy. My family tries to be supportive but they're really controlling and I feel like I'm under constant scrutiny, to the point where I'm terrified of messing up for fear of punishment, which is dumb because I rarely do my schoolwork and get yelled at for it all the time. As I write this I'm supposed to be writing an English essay. I go to therapy twice a week and have a few good friends, and I'm on Prozac and Adderall which kind of help. Now, the issue. I have this really strong desire to run away somewhere, but only for maybe a week or so. I know how to live on my own, I'm an avid survivalist and prepper. I would probably go to the woods. I told my therapist and she said that my feelings are valid but i shouldn't because I"m not in an unsafe situation, which is true. I know it's risky and I'd probably get in trouble when I come home, but I feel like it's worth it. Am i being irrational? Should I stay and be thankful to have a family that loves me despite showing it in ways that don't really help me? Or is best if I go, and have my independence? I need help.

Thanks for reading, which nobody probably did.
~Eli

(I made it green bc I like green)

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now and are feeling like you need to run away for a while. We are glad to hear that you have the support of your friends and that you feel as if your medication helps. You mentioned that you feel as if your family supports you but they are a bit controlling. It is understandable that you would want to leave a place where you feel as if you are under scrutiny. You sound like a really mature person to think about bringing and continuing to take your medication while you are gone. You mentioned that you have some friends that you could stay with but you are hoping that you can make it to the woods. We know that you feel comfortable as a survivalist but have you taken into account the positional dangers that are out there? Not only from wildlife but from people who do not have your best interest in mind. While we are not here to scare you or talk you out of running we are here to try to provide you with support and resources so that if you do decide to leave home, you are doing it intelligently and safely. So if running away is something that you really want to do then you are more than welcome to give us a call and we can talk about all of your options and help you come up with a safety plan. 1-800-RUNAWAY