I'm 13 years old/8th Grader
Sometimes I wish I could just disappear what would happen then? Would people wonder where I went or not? I'm invisible anyway...... what's the point of even living?Just like how we kill animals aren't we animals too so why make a big deal about it hahaha...... what am I even saying:/ My sister and my mom got into a fight she tells us to respect her when she don't even respect us. Now she took way the 1 phone each of us share and out tablets then says she would give them back in the end of the year. U know what school just started a week ago hahaha :/ I wonder what would it be like to have a family who cares....about...u... even my sisters don't like me.I would like to run away but have nowhere to go no money no place to stay so yeah im lonely. Sometimes I would wonder what would it be like to be someone else not with weird short hair like me or a bumpy face or not have a fashion tase or be bad at math or reading or have delaxa or be a crybaby or wish I was dead. :/ a lot of things huh? ever since I was little I was bad at everything I was fat and don't look good at all I was also shy so I don't have a lot of friends I hate it when I have to go see other teachers when I get pulled out of class for something but I have to be nice and stuff I can't let them know what is wrong with me not one bit if they do I don't think I can even go to the school anymore. u see I have quite a number of friends they care about me so I don't just walk off a ruff or kill myself cause of them. I have to be nice and happy so they can be in ease and not worry but little do they know there is wrecking ball inside my head. When I was little I use to get this piece of paper and when u get a green I have a good day if I have a yellow I have a off day If I had a red I have a horrible day when I was Little if I got a yellow or under My mom would get a belt and beat me up 1-5 times one time I dropped my pencil on the ground the teacher asked why I was getting up I was about to say why but she interrupted and said go and call my mom I was so scared but I don't cry I can't show them I am weak well I did that anyway :/ when I got home I got beat up 10-15 times it hurt like hell but I could not say anything after that I tried to commit suicide so much times trying to eat poison berries or get a knife and hold it against my chest but I would chicken out and stuff like that :/.Over time I stopped doing these thing but picture it out of my head like a car crash happens and I get killed or something abnormal happens. I think it got into a habit because it happened even when im at school...:/ But sometimes when I do something like clean some mess up or walking down a hallway I would get wosy and have feeling like I did this before and I start to fall.... :/ but I think it's because I stay up most of the night watching anime :/ so right now i'm using the schools chromebook to write all these things down. So this is what happened today My sister got in a fight with my mom and she tells us to respect her and she say "I buy clothes for all of u shoes a lot of other stuff, and u dont even have respect for me!!!" My mom was fighting my sister cause she asked if she could go to walmart! Oh come on it's just walmart for goodness sake!! it's like right across the street!! Now my sister christy involved me and my sister christle in this matter!! Christle just talked back to mom while I just sat there smiling cause if I dont tears would rain down of out of my eyes! She then takes everything away except of our chromebooks!!Which by the way I think she forgot about them...:/ and then says she would give them back when school ends and u know the rest blah blah. For once I wish to be someone different someone who could make friends easily and who is not easily forgotten but wishes can't come true but for this wish I really.....wish...it...could..........
Sometimes I wish I could just disappear what would happen then? Would people wonder where I went or not? I'm invisible anyway...... what's the point of even living?Just like how we kill animals aren't we animals too so why make a big deal about it hahaha...... what am I even saying:/ My sister and my mom got into a fight she tells us to respect her when she don't even respect us. Now she took way the 1 phone each of us share and out tablets then says she would give them back in the end of the year. U know what school just started a week ago hahaha :/ I wonder what would it be like to have a family who cares....about...u... even my sisters don't like me.I would like to run away but have nowhere to go no money no place to stay so yeah im lonely. Sometimes I would wonder what would it be like to be someone else not with weird short hair like me or a bumpy face or not have a fashion tase or be bad at math or reading or have delaxa or be a crybaby or wish I was dead. :/ a lot of things huh? ever since I was little I was bad at everything I was fat and don't look good at all I was also shy so I don't have a lot of friends I hate it when I have to go see other teachers when I get pulled out of class for something but I have to be nice and stuff I can't let them know what is wrong with me not one bit if they do I don't think I can even go to the school anymore. u see I have quite a number of friends they care about me so I don't just walk off a ruff or kill myself cause of them. I have to be nice and happy so they can be in ease and not worry but little do they know there is wrecking ball inside my head. When I was little I use to get this piece of paper and when u get a green I have a good day if I have a yellow I have a off day If I had a red I have a horrible day when I was Little if I got a yellow or under My mom would get a belt and beat me up 1-5 times one time I dropped my pencil on the ground the teacher asked why I was getting up I was about to say why but she interrupted and said go and call my mom I was so scared but I don't cry I can't show them I am weak well I did that anyway :/ when I got home I got beat up 10-15 times it hurt like hell but I could not say anything after that I tried to commit suicide so much times trying to eat poison berries or get a knife and hold it against my chest but I would chicken out and stuff like that :/.Over time I stopped doing these thing but picture it out of my head like a car crash happens and I get killed or something abnormal happens. I think it got into a habit because it happened even when im at school...:/ But sometimes when I do something like clean some mess up or walking down a hallway I would get wosy and have feeling like I did this before and I start to fall.... :/ but I think it's because I stay up most of the night watching anime :/ so right now i'm using the schools chromebook to write all these things down. So this is what happened today My sister got in a fight with my mom and she tells us to respect her and she say "I buy clothes for all of u shoes a lot of other stuff, and u dont even have respect for me!!!" My mom was fighting my sister cause she asked if she could go to walmart! Oh come on it's just walmart for goodness sake!! it's like right across the street!! Now my sister christy involved me and my sister christle in this matter!! Christle just talked back to mom while I just sat there smiling cause if I dont tears would rain down of out of my eyes! She then takes everything away except of our chromebooks!!Which by the way I think she forgot about them...:/ and then says she would give them back when school ends and u know the rest blah blah. For once I wish to be someone different someone who could make friends easily and who is not easily forgotten but wishes can't come true but for this wish I really.....wish...it...could..........

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