I want to run away but have no where to go

[Guest]

Hello, i’m 17, turning 18 in may. i want to run away because i’m sick and tired of fighting all the time with my aunt. she has adopted me after her brother, my biological dad, couldnt take care of me. i have no idea what happened to any of my other family members. i just know my dad my aunt and their father (my grandad). i’ve been under my aunts care since ‘09 or ‘10 i think, and there’s no doubt she has had anger issues. she admitted it herself. she has hit me countless times and sometimes without mercy. i will admit i have made many mistakes. she apologized, but i still hate the sound and tone of her voice, and i think i myself have gotten anger issues. she even told me it’s her fault that i’m like this, but she still gives me ******** for acting up, which makes no damn sense. i prefer to be anywhere but mear her. i’m sick of hearing her say why i’m “depressed”. i’m not, i just hate her. i feel like i’ve lost the will to love my family, as we have had many problems. i have a debit card connected to my aunt’s account, with about $600. but i don’t know where to go. also i’m not a legal citizen, but my aunt said she would get the paperwork done. to my knowledge, running away from home in virginia is not a criminal offense, but will i still get deported? i don’t want to leave my friends, and i sure don’t want to live in korea with my dad and grandad. i want to just start anew, live my own life. i’ve ran away many times and spent nights at a friends. the first few times she kicked me out herself but eventually brought me back in. one night i just ran, because she caught me with a porn video on my phone, which my friend sent to me as a joke. it was a misunderstanding, but i knew she was going to beat the hell out of me, as i have had problems with porn before. so that night i spent the night outside in joggers and a jacket on a bench. it was springtime, but it was very cold. also my aunt has told me she wanted to kill me, and whether it was out of anger or genuineness, i don’t know. i’ve said harsh things to her too. i’ve called her ********** in korean basically, told her to shut up, and i’ve yelled at the top of my lungs and disrespected her. yet i don’t feel any remorse or regret. if there’s a way for me to run away safely, please let me know. i’m sick and tired of this life. i want to forget this cursed family

[ccsmod6]

Hi there,

First of all, thanks so much for reaching out. It makes a lot of sense why you’d want to leave that situation – nobody deserves to be hit, and we understand why you’d want to get out of there. Let’s see how we can help.

First of all, if you ever feel unsafe in your house because of your aunt you’re always allowed to call 9-1-1. If you want someone other than the police to get involved to try to make your home safer, you can contact the Virginia Department of Social Services at (800) 552-7096. That’s the number for Child Protective Services – they can give you general information, and may also conduct crisis counseling or intervention depending on your case. If you do reach out to them and tell them that you are being hit, you should know that they legally have to follow up on it, which would mean getting in touch with your aunt.

In Virginia, you become an adult at 18. That means that after your birthday in May, you’ll be able to live wherever you want, even if your aunt isn’t ok with it. The one thing that might impact that is your immigration status. It’s possible that if you are not legally allowed to stay in the United States permanently, you could be deported, regardless of whether or not you run away. Running away wouldn’t lead to you being deported if you are here legally, since it’s not a crime but rather a “statutory offense.” But if you end up living in the country illegally, that’s something that could happen. We’re not legal experts so it might make sense to talk to someone else about that part.

If you leave the house before your 18th birthday, you would be running away. Running away is a “statutory offense,” which basically means it’s not a crime you’d be punished for, but you still aren’t allowed to do it. If you leave, your aunt can file a runaway report, which could lead to the police getting involved. However, the police probably wouldn’t force you to go back home since you’re so close to 18.

There are lots of things to think about if you do decide to run away. First of all, you’d need a safe place to stay that provides for all of your needs. You could stay with friends, if that’s an option for you. We also have a network of youth shelters and transitional housing programs to help people find someplace to stay as a last resort – you can find some of these on http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/, or by calling or chatting us. If you’re in school or want to go to college after you graduate, you’d need to make sure you find out how you can still enroll. You might also want to consider whether or not you’d be able to rely on your aunt to do your immigration paperwork if you left home.

We’re always here to talk, if you want to go over your situation some more, or come up with a plan for what to do next. We’d love to hear from you – you can respond to this forum post, chat us at 1800runaway.org, or call us at 1 800 786 2929.

Good luck!
-NRS

[Guest]

HELL that my life my mom and dad mentally and phisically break me my dad is extremly violent and has anger problems and lets it out on me and my younger brothers are as worse the mentally abuse me and if i do anything to their dumbasses they would tell my ******** parents and then i would get in trouble i just want to run away i want to go to my grandparents house they love me more than my mom and dad ever did or could

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through an extremely difficult time right now. Any type of abuse is not acceptable and should not be tolerated. If you are experiencing abuse you can make an abuse report by calling The Child Help Hotline at- 1800-422-4453. We know that sometimes making abuse reports can be scary, if you would like us to make the report on your behalf you can call us at any time. If you ever feel like your safety is at risk you may call 911 ASAP, and an officer will be there to help you. We are not legal experts but if you were to runaway and if the police found you they would most likely bring you back home. You could consider asking your parents’ permission to stay with your grandparents. Another option could be to speak to a school counselor about what is going on, sometimes speaking to an unbiased person may help us feel better.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to talk more about what is going on you can call us at any time we are here to support you 24/7. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

I want to run away from home but I don’t have anywhere to go and even if I did I would like it if it was somewhere close to home just in case...HELLLPPPO!!!

[Guest]

I really need help...I hate my life with my parents bc I don’t like the way the treat me and I know if they find out how I truly am (disrespectful, curses a lot, anger issues, gets into fights a lot etc ) I know that they won’t let me do anything that I enjoy any more until I move and I’m only 12. I really want to run away from home but that’s not possible if I don’t have anywhere to go. I could always go to my best friends house but her mom would call my mom then I’d get in real big trouble. The worst part of this is that my mom would probably have a heart attack and if I go back home then the only thing that I would be able to do until I move out is study.
Please help me!!!

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I really need help...

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. It is times like these that would be nice to have someone to listen. NRS is here to listen and here to help. It sounds like you are feeling upset about the way things are at home with your mom.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

Hi im 13 and i want to run away im getting getting emotionally and physically abused and i can barely take it anymore my mom and dad hit me for no reason and their always calling me names ive talked to friends but no one seems to care. Sometimes i think its my fault and i think about killing myself. I dont want to run away because i know that the real world is harsh and theres alot to worry about but i cant take it.

[Guest]

Ok so I'm 12 and about to run away because my mom and step dad are kind of abusive mentally and sometimes physically but I don't know where I can stay. They're homophobes and I'm LGBTQ so what do I do?

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
You questioned where you could go if you were to run away. Unfortunately, most shelters are required by law to alert your parents that you are there unless you tell them about abuse or neglect in your home life. If you do report abuse or neglect then they might let you stay there for a few days before contacting guardians or Child Protective Services to file an abuse report. But, this is different for every shelter. If you would like to explore this option more, please give us a call. We can help you locate shelters and help call them with you
Additionally we want you to know that you do have the right to make a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hello I'm 14

I have a really good best friend who lives in another state and she wants to run away. She has family problems, she was sexually touched by a boy her age, her best friend ran away about a few days ago (by when i'm typing this) she cuts, she drinks, and things on that matter.

After her friend ran away she started talking more about running away. I keep trying to see if she can talk out on what's bothering her but she sometimes refuse. But I try giving her the advice that I learned from the years. But she still talks about running away. But have nothing more. I need help because I don't know what to do anymore. I love her a lot and I don't know anymore, i'm slowly losing hope on helping her. she goes to a Life Skill thing and she talks to her mom but I feel like its not helping. Please help please. - Nell

[ccsmod6]

Hi Nell, thanks for contacting National Runaway Safeline. We want to commend you for reaching out to NRS on behalf of your friend. You seem like a very caring, loyal, and mature friend. It seems like your friend is going through a very difficult time. It must be very hard and scary to hear about her engaging in the behaviors she does. It can be very hard to deal with something like being sexually touched and something like cutting can be harder to control than people may think. It may be beneficial to communicate to your friend that there is support for her during this time. A great site for you and your friend to visit may be To Write Love on Her Arms. They have a website which is www.twloha.com. This organization provides helpful information and support to people who may be dealing with issues like your friend are and it may be beneficial for her. It must be hard to not feel like you do not know much else do but, you have already been extremely supportive and helpful towards your friend. She may really appreciate your support. It could be hard on people around those who are struggling with things like your friend is and it’s very important that you also take care of yourself. A helpful organization for you and even your friend to reach out to for therapeutic services and support may be NAMI. This organizations has a number of professionals who are skilled in assisting individuals with navigating things like your friend and even yourself are dealing with right now. Their website is www.nami.org and their number is 1800-950-NAMI. As far as your friend running away, that may be a challenging decision for her to make but all the decision she has the right to make if she feels she needs to. If you are concerned, it may be beneficial to reach out to an adult you both know and trust or you could also try contacting a non-emergency police department and inquiring about steps you could take if she were to leave. Just so you know, you would not have to communicate your identity or your friend’s identity to do this- even if you are asked. We would love to support you further with all of this and would love to be able to be a support to your friend as well. Please, feel free to give us a call at any time by dialing our 24/7 hotline 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us live, send us an email, and leave a forum post by visiting our website 1800runaway.org. We wish you the very best.

[Guest]

i want to run away but i have no where to go is there any like maybe an orphanage or a child care ? im 18 and in my country 18 yrsold is not an adult yet. pls reply asap i need to get out fast

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

[Guest]

Hi I'm 14 and I'm turning 15 and im so sick of being yelled at for no reason and I'm plainning on running away she adopted me at birth and my sister picks on me and my mom does to and hits me and sometimes yells at me for no reason I said to my self I'll run away someday and lll find My forever home but it seems to be worries I cut myself due to the abuse and sometimes she blames me for nothing I only want to help but I'm desisting on running away into the woods with food and buying a tent ⛺️ and hiding out there might take some money don't know yet but I'm doing it tonight

[ccsmod3]

Hello, thank you so much for contacting us at National Runaway Safeline. What you are going through would be hard on anybody. We greatly appreciate your strength and bravery in reaching out to us. You are not alone. We are here for you.

You are dealing with so much, with your adoptive mom hitting you and your sister also picking on you. Abuse pushes people to cope in different ways. You are not alone in cutting yourself as a way to deal with this pain. It is very kind of you to want to help through everything you are going through.

As someone who has survived up to this point, you have developed through experience different strategies for staying safe. It may be helpful to you, looking forward, to think back on what has worked well for you and how to best continue protecting yourself.

We also encourage you to consider your personal strengths and greatest resources. It can be easy to forget positive aspects of yourself when surrounded by much negativity. In addition, it can be important as well to be mindful of any activities you truly enjoy and help you feel healthier and happier.

Another possible resource you might consider would be if there might be anyone available to you, especially an adult, who you trust enough to talk to about this. Asking for help is difficult, but it can be a tremendously important skill to have.

If you choose to run away to the woods, it may be helpful to plan ahead for the challenges and potential danger that living outside entails. Some of these include provisions for dealing with an injury or illness, emotions associated with being alone and in a new environment, how to deal with inclement weather, and how to deal with other strangers who you might come into contact with. In addition, it can be helpful to think about how long you intend to stay in the woods, how to survive for that duration, and what to do in case it extends longer than anticipated.

We at National Runaway Safeline are here for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week by phone and by chat. We would be glad to discuss your situation and some potential options in greater detail. As a reminder, our service is confidential.

As a victim of abuse, one option we may be able to help you with is filing an abuse report. Abuse reports are designed to protect youth by initiating investigations by the local authorities, if screened in. Parents or guardians, the youth, and other parties of interest are interviewed, and a decision is made by the authorities of the most appropriate response to the situation.

Whether you have or have not filed an abuse report previously, we can help you file one, including conference calling with you and your local government department. Regardless, it is a personal decision for you and you alone, and are here to support you no matter what you choose.

Thank you again for reaching out to us. Please do not hesitate to contact us at any time for your needs. We wish you all the best.

[Guest]

Im sad, i feel as if i am not loved. I tell my mom i want to die. She says she will kill me. She punched me in the face today. i want to leave from here. but i have nowhere to go.

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. It also sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m young in middle school and currently I just want to run away from everything. My dad and my mom recently got a divorce and my dad was very abusive to my family. So we kicked him out but I’m still struggling with the fact that I had to spend 4 months with my grandmother because my dad couldn’t man up and give us our house back. Everything is ok now but I’m stuck. I have to visit my depressive dad every other weekend and he doesn’t eat and just takes his pills and sleeps. He doesn’t care about us but just himself. I wish my mom wouldn’t be so teachers pet with the court and same with my dad. I feel trapped, I can’t breath, I haven’t slept in days, I harm myself, I don’t have any freedom, but suicide at this point. Running away from my prorblems is the only way out for me. See I have friends who feel the same way I do and I’m thinking about asking her to run away with me. She’s planned to do it before but didn’t have anyone to do to it with. I’m scared my mom will grt me therapy and make me do everything I’ve ever avoided. Every night when I cry she says I’m doing it for pity, but she never leaves me alone about it and just keeps discouraging me. Then she says she sorry and asks me to live up to her ideal me. It crap. She does it every time. I’m done with it. It seems nobody cares if I disappeared or even attempted suicide. Someone help me or at least comfort me. I don’t think I’ll be able to make it through this.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: I’m young in middle school


Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You do not deserve to be abused or hurt in any way. It is not your fault that this happened. Your voice matters and so do your feelings.
It sounds like it has been a challenge for you trying to cope with the changes you have been through. You have such strength within you. Reaching out to NRS should validate that you are strong. Although it may seem scary to talk to someone like a counselor about feelings and thoughts, it could be a quite helpful way to vent and explore positive options for coping with your emotions. Hurting yourself does not have to be an option.
Running away could present even more issues about keeping safe and surviving.

It is times like these that would be nice to have a listening ear. It is also important that you remember to exercise self- care. You are not alone. NRS is here to listen and here to help.
We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS
We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

[Guest]

I am almost 15 and I don't have anyone who wants me and I'm thinking about running away

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to write to us here. We understand you might be aggravated from your situation, but we are here to help. Your post sound really familiar. We were able to find another guest’s post that is similar to yours. We believe that this reply could be used for you too.

i ran away but i have nowhere to go. please someone help
RE Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. You mentioned running away and needing somewhere to go, and we truly want to help you stay safe. If you call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat us we can look for local resources near you such as emergency runaway youth shelters.

If you have a phone you might text the National Safe Place to find the closest national or community safe place: "Text the word “safe” and your current location (address, city, state) to 4HELP (44357). Within seconds, you will receive a message with the closest Safe Place site and phone number for the local youth agency. For immediate help, reply with “2chat” to text interactively with a trained counselor." https://www.nationalsafeplace.org/txt-4-help

We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,

NRS

If you have any follow up questions please give us a call. 1-800-786-2929

[Guest]

I need to get outa here. I'm 13 and my parents hate me. Ive been living at my grandparents house but everyone there hates me too. Where can I go???

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to us and telling us your story. It sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now with your family and we hope to be able to help. It can be difficult to manage situations like this and you don’t have to do it alone. There are many resources we offer here that can possibly help you understand your options. Although we are not legal experts here at NRS, generally we know that the age you are considered an adult in most states is 18. In your case since you are 13, if you decided to leave home without your parents’ consent you would be considered a runaway. Your parents could file a runaway report, the police could get involved, and they could bring you home, even if it is not a safe place. Anyone you’re staying with could potentially get in trouble and get charged with “harboring.” You could consider calling your local nonemergency police department to ask about their policies. We also have legal aid resources here if you have specific questions about the laws in your state.”
If it’s not safe to stay at home there may be shelters available in your state where you could stay temporarily. One place that offers support for youth in crisis is National Safe Place www.natinalsafeplace.org.
How it works: Once you have located a designated safe place (schools, fire stations, libraries, Boys & Girls clubs, YMCAs) and informed an employee that you are in need of support a staff members from NSP can come and take you to a safe location where you can discuss other resources to best support you.
Usually after 24 hours shelters will have minors try to contact their legal guardians. If going home is not a safe option due to any form of abuse, you could you could consider reporting the abuse you’ve been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.
One service we can offer is to conference call with your parents. This way you could have a conversation with your parents but you would not be alone. For example, it may be hard for you to explain to your family how you feel about the way they are treating you. Sometimes those conversations go better in a conference call because we can advocate for you. If you want to reach us, you can chat with us anytime at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We’re here 24/7, and we are ready to listen and help however we can.
Wish you the best.
-NRS