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Stuck Between a rock and a Hard Place

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  • Stuck Between a rock and a Hard Place

    Hi my name is Samantha and I am a runaway. I've been on my own for two weeks now, and everything is fine. I'm staying with a very good friend of mine and I really don't wanna leave, but I don't want my friend to get in trouble, so I'm considering going back home through the Home Free program. The problem is that I'm going back to a very negative and abusive environment. My dad recently divorced my stepmother because he was cheating on her with his mistress, who is very hateful and verbally abusive towards me, just like my dad. My step mom on the other hand is a caring sweet loving person who has taken me in as one of her own. My dad hates this and never lets me see her, despite the fact that she's been there for me for 11 years. My dad has PTSD and while he can get FREE help from the VA, he chooses not to. Because of it my dad is a very angry and bitter person, and his mistress makes me and my siblings feel terrible saying that 'were not being supportive'. My dad verbally and emotionally abuses me on a daily basis and never gets off his damn computer. He is also the captain of a local militia and spends all of his time and energy on that instead of his family, turning his head the other way while his mistress makes me feel like ********. She's gotten me to the point of tears many times. I struggle from depression and suicidal thoughts, and she tells me to suck it up and that I'm being manipulative and doing it for attention. She even yelled at me for going to the school counselor for help! I don't know what to do. I want to go live with my step mom with all my heart and get out of that terrible place before it destroys me....

  • #2
    Re: Stuck Between a rock and a Hard Place

    Hi there,

    Thank you for contacting us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been going through a lot recently but we are really glad that you have reached out for help. That is a really great step to be taking, and we are here to support you the best we can.

    So you shared a lot with us. First off, you mentioned that you struggle from depression and suicidal thoughts. How often do you think about killing yourself? This is a lot to deal with and it is really brave of you to have spoken to a counselor about it. It is not right to yell at you for seeking the help that you felt you were needing at the time. Was speaking to the counselor helpful to you? We want to provide you a hotline that you can call any time you are feeling like ending your life, the National Suicide Hotline at (800) 273 8255. This might be a good number to keep around, in addition to ours at 1800runaway.

    It sounds like you have been away from home for 2 weeks and you are thinking about leaving your friend’s house. It is really good to hear that you have been in a safe place for this time, and that you have the support from your friend. You mentioned our Home Free Program. We want to give you a heads up that we certainly try to help everyone that we can through this program, but there are specific rules and guidelines that we have to follow through greyhound since they are the ones providing the free tickets. Does your stepmom have legal guardianship of you? It sounds like she is someone that you really respect and get along with and it would be really nice to be able to go back to live with her. You disclosed verbal abuse from your dad. No one deserves to be abused in any way. You deserve to feel safe at home. It sounds like your dad has not given you permission to stay with your stepmom. Have you tried to talk to your stepmom about this?

    It has got to be really tough living with your dad and his new girlfriend. It sounds like she is not kind to you and it is really adding a lot of stress to the situation. One option you may have is to write a letter to your dad, explaining how you are feeling about all of this and the reasons living with your stepmom would be helpful to you. It can be easier to communicate on paper sometimes so that the other person has an opportunity to read and digest before responding. Another option that you have is a conference call. Here at National Runaway Safeline, we offer conference calling with youth and their guardian. This is a way to communicate and get your thoughts and feelings out while having a mediator to facilitate the conversation.

    We are here to support you in any way that we can. If you would like to explore your options further, please call us at 1800runaway. We also have a chat option available from 4:30pm to11:30pm Central Standard Time.

    Good luck and stay safe,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
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