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Thoughts on running away.

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  • Thoughts on running away.

    I am a fifteen year old female in her first year of highschool, and I've been having a lot of problems. I don't exactly know how to write you these things, as I've never done them before, but I have honestly been thinking of running away. I've thought about it a lot, actually, not only recently.
    My family though, has been ignoring me a lot, and when they aren't ignoring me, they are constantly insulting me, or threatening me. I've been doing fairly well in school, my grades being A's and B's, a C on occasion. I do what I'm asked to the majority of the time, and yet my family continues to be unable to acknowledge me trying for anything in life, saying I have no chance, that my parents never wanted me, (I live with my grandparents, as I have been since I was five.) and that all I have ahead for my self is failure. I lived with my dad over the summer, but left, due to my stepmother trying to blame me for things she had done and constantly being drunk. My grandmother also has drinking problems, whereas my grandfather is abusive. Emotionally, and verbally, that is. I have not endured physical abuse in many years from him, thankfully. He will yell at me for replying "Okay" to him, stating that I gave him an attitude when I was talking casually. He always says I am disrespectful, and ungrateful. He will say I'm lucky that they took me in, because my dad was only a criminal, constantly going to jail, and that my mom was only a druggie. They are always telling me to go live with my dad, or my mom (Who does not do drugs anymore, although I rarely contact her, as we don't particularly get along.) or saying I should go to a foster home because they are done with my ********. I've tried explaining how they make me feel, and get yelled at for not considering their feelings, or for being selfish, or I just get ignored for it. For several years, I had self harmed, just getting over it several months ago. I had gone to therapy for it, even though I thought of it as pointless, and it truly was. My older sister (Who is four years older than I am.) that has also been living with me through this, was never treated the same. She was treated better. She would sometimes stick up for me, but get threatened for it, and stop. She's been in college, and I've been home without her, as everything has gotten worse. I've planned out ways for me to escape, saving up money, chosen things to pack, what and how I will do in a certain type of situation. I know where I would go, and I have several people that I have persuaded to help me along with it. Not run with me, just help me along the way. Although I will not state where or how here. The one thing about it is that I'm afraid of what I'll do when I'm out there on my own. If I get caught, what would I do, or should I just not go through with it at all?

  • #2
    Thoughts on running away.

    Hey there,

    Thank you for being able to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, it seems like you are going through a pretty rough time at this point in your life. We want you to know that we are here for you and would be more than happy to assist you in the best way we can. Just so you know, we are not legal experts here, but we will try our best to help you in your situation.

    So, from what you shared, it seems like home is not a happy place for you. Have you considered talking to your parents about how you have been feeling and what you all can potentially do to make this situation better? If you feel afraid to talk to them or you think you need a mediator to talk to them, we are here 24/7 and would be more than happy to assist you initiating that conversation with your parents through a 3 way call. It is one of the many services we offer here at NRS.

    You also mentioned that you have had suicidal thoughts and have self injured in the past, we are sorry that things have been bad to the point that you feel like that is something you would have to do. If you are ever having those thoughts again, you can reach out to the National Suicide Prevention hotline at 1-800-273-8255. They would be able to help talk through your situation as well.

    It’s good that you have your sister for support to help you through these tough times. We know it might be a little hard to keep the lines of communication open with her but maybe the both of you can come to an agreement where you can talk everyday and just have that support.

    We are also here 24/7 and would be more than happy to talk to you and get you through these tough times. We can also provide you with many resources and see what the best way we can help you is. We wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide to do.

    Stay strong,

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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