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running from abuse

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  • running from abuse

    I am a 13 year old girl. I live in a household with my parents and 2 other siblings. My mom and dad have both physically abused me. My dad never abuses me unless my mom tells him to. My mom is usually the one who abuses me. She has thrown a suitcase at me, slapped me in the face, whipped me with a belt, punched me, pushed me against the wall, The main problem is her verbal abusiveness. I can take the physical abuse, but it is the insults I can not stand. She has called me retarded, stupid, fat, ugly, slut, lesbian, and more. What bothers me the most is that she tells relatives, such as aunts, uncles, and grandparents, that I hit her and call her names. She has convinced them and even my dad that i am dangerous. If she pushes me against the wall and tries to punch me and I push her away she will tell my dad thar I got mad and pushes her down. She accuses me of drinking and doing drugs which I have never done. She told me that i have no friends and that she wants me to run away and never come back. She is bipolar, aggressive, and has a bad temper with everything. Some of the things she has done and said to be have made me seriously think about suicide. I have cut myself, cursed and God, and prayed for Him to please kill me on several occasions. I have fallen into a depression and I can no longer take her anymore. She typically takes her anger out of me and not my other siblings. She adores my 5 year old baby brother and my 16 year old sister. I will not call child services because life would be worse in a foster care and it wouldn't be fair for my siblings because they are not being abused. My dad has connections anyway so even if I did call he could get out of it. My best friend doesn't believe me my mom is abusive (because she seems normal on the outside) and she has to many problems of her own (her mom died). My other friend had her mom call my parents when I tried talking to her about it. I can't go to the school counselor because she cannot keep her mouth shut and I can't see a therapist so I can't "get help."

    My plan:
    - save $3,000 by July (I have $2,000 now and will earn over $1,000 in June)
    - find apartment to rent with roommate for under $500 a month (I have already found several. I will make my choice and contact owner in advance.)
    - mail clothes and necessities to apartment building a week before July (parents would not notice)
    - get fake I.D.
    - contact seller of car (which is $300)
    - apply online to several jobs and get one in advance
    - switch banks (switch to the bank closest to my work place)
    - on July 1st make a small bag of things to bring
    - on July 2nd leave note informing I have left so they don't think I was taken or anything and assuring that I will be fine there and saying why I left (in a nice way)
    - on July 2nd go to work and bring bag
    - take sims card out of iPhone on the morning of July 2nd (my family has a tracking device app that is on my phone plan)
    - leave work on July 2nd and walk to bank which is one street over (No one will notice I left im sure)
    - withdraw all of the cash
    - walk to the bus stop, which is 1 minute away. (I will have planned the timing right so I should have 15 minutes max to wait.)
    - the bus will take me to a nearby city where I will get off
    - I will met the car seller and get the car
    - I will drive to the nearest public bathroom or rest place and dy my hair a different color and wear different color contacts so I am unrecognizable. Although I'm sure my parents would be glad I was gone, they care deeply about their image and would inform someone that I was missing so it looks like they care. My mom will enjoy getting all of the sympathy and attention. Your welcome mom.)
    - then I will drive to New York! (with enough money for gas. I will drive all day and night til' I get there. I will have had enough nights sleep the day before. I have free coffee at work so I will bring that, but I will also have so energy drinks in my bag just in case.)
    - I will to New York during daylight hours. I will have planned to meet my roommate and move in that day.
    - settle in my room and take a breath
    - my stuff I mailed should arrive that day up to a few days
    - start work or interviews the next day
    After a year i will be 16 and i will contact my parents requesting emancipation. They will most likely accept, and if not I am sure they will in at least a month.
    After being emancipated I will be able to attend school. I am an extremely musician, writer, and painter. I will use the first year I arrive to practice and improve my skills. I will apply to a preforming arts school and apply for financial aid (which will most likely be granted because I am supporting myself.)

  • #2
    re: running from abuse

    Hey there,

    Thank you for being able to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, from what you have shared, it seems like you have a pretty set plan. We just want to let you know that we are not here to stop you from your plans or to tell you to go. But we will offer you some resources.

    From what you mentioned, it seems like you have been abused and mistreated in the past. No one ever deserves to be treated this way or hit, especially in the comfort of their own home. Home is supposed to be a place where you can be yourself and all get along. If you ever deicide that you want to make a report you can call Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and they will be able to assist you with that process.

    You also mentioned that you have had suicidal thoughts, if you are ever feeling like you are having these thoughts again, please feel free to reach out the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. They would also be able to talk to you regarding your depression, if that is something you are interested in.

    If you ever need anyone to talk to or if you need any resources, please feel free to reach out to us. We can talk about your plan and about how you mention you want to leave home. We are here 24/7 and will be more than happy to assist you thought this process.

    Stay strong,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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