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15, Alone and Unsure

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  • 15, Alone and Unsure

    Hi..I can't really do it anymore. I can't live at my home anymore. I live in a family of 4 including me, my mom my dad and my brother. My mom is mentally unstable, always depressed and stressed out about something and then she takes all of that and puts it on other people; me. I can't remember the last time I was actually happy. My mom ignores me and doesn't listen to me. When we get into arguments I try to explain my side. I usually end up pouring out all of my feelings and emotions. But she blocks it out because she just thinks it's disrespect. She will go on her phone, leave the room, or start talking to someone else while I'm sitting there trying to talk to her and explain how I feel. She doesn't care for anything I have to say or do. The only time she ever notices something is when I do something bad. For example I will bring home an A that I got on a test and she will pay no attention to it but when she sees my report cards (whicheck are usually poor) she yells at me and then ignomes me again. This has been going on for the past 3 years of my life. I'm 15 now. I don't know if any of you know what kind of social trauma being ignored and left with no voice for years of someones life can do to them but honestly for me its too much. I'm depressed and have nobody to turn to or talk to. Me and my brother are very close and he knows what my mom is like but he can't help me. I tried therapy, didn't work. My father can't just leave my mother's side in arguments because he's trying to save the marriage but he knows everything I say is true, because my mom does it to him to. She doesn't lis ten to people, she treats them like they are a waste of human life, and then she doesn't see why these people are upset and then she will still try to make them look like the bad guy. I've had enough. I can't even look at my mother anymore without getting depressed. I know deep down there will always be a part of me that loves her but she's holding me back from being the true person that I am and leaving me alone without a voice and ignored left to deal with depression and social anxiety by myself. I know for a fact that if don't live with my mom anymore I will be fine. I will be scarred socially for a while but I will be free to be the person I am. I need to get away from my household and go somewhere else. I need to runaway. I have considered trying to move in with other family members but it wouldn't work because they all have their own problems: addiction, financial problems, their own children, and I know if I moved in their lives I would just be a burden. I just don't belong in my family and I need to run away. I just don't know how I would I do it. The police would be called the second I leave and if I went to a shelter they would call too. I can't get emancipated because I don't even know if I can in my state and I can't support my self financially as I don't have a job. I don't know what to do anymore and I need advice from somebody, anybody.

  • #2
    re: 15, Alone and Unsure

    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out tonight and sharing your story with us here. It sounds like you are going through so much with your mom right now. It sounds like it’s completely overwhelming and so frustrating for you to deal with this all the time. It’s got to be so difficult to be ignored and not treated with the respect that you deserve. You are so brave and smart for reaching out tonight and talking through how you’ve been feeling. You deserve support, so let’s see how we can help you out.

    It seems like you’ve taken some good steps to try and make the situation at home better. You’ve reached out to your brother and your dad and have tried some therapy. Those are great. A lot of times when people are feeling so overwhelmed, they reach out to the supports around them. It sounds like you’ve done some good reaching out. It can be important to have as much support as possible. Who else do you feel like you can demand support from? You deserve it and it sounds like that’s something that you need.

    Many times when people are thinking about running, they weigh the risks of staying at home vs the risks of leaving. If the risks of leaving are too great (like no money, no place to stay, no education or transportation), then they work to put together a plan so that they have a way to survive. If they have a way to survive, then the risks of leaving might be less than the risks of staying. Or they figure out ways to make like at home safer and better. Sitting down and spending time thinking through a plan for leaving or a plan to make things better might be a good next step for you. Reaching out to someone who you trust can be a good way to help put together those plans.

    We hope that this offers you some guidance and some support. You seem like a smart person who is dedicated to improving their situation. We are here to support you no matter what decision you make. If you need any other kind of support, please call us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Or you can chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time.

    We look forward to your call or chat.

    Best of luck to you,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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