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17 year old runaway turning 18

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  • done at 16.

    Hello my name is Cora and I am a 16 year old from Minnesota! I am a junior taking online high school, and doing PSEO. I am taking 4 hs credits, 12 college credits and work 30-40 hours a week. Im busy and kept out of the house a lot.... But now things are changing. My parents want me to quit my job and quit 2 FREE YEARS OF COLLEGE! I worked my butt off in school all they way up until now so I could get this opportunity. Life with my parents is horrible! They are both totally controlling! I can't watch any movies until they watch it first and approve, they limit what music I can listen to and even who my friends are. They are total religious fanatics! They shove it down my throat and I hate it... I don't believe what they believe!!! According to their religion, you can't date until ur 18 and it has to be someone of the same religion. You can not have any friends with someone who is not of the same religion. For example, there is only one girl at my church my age... we tried being friends but didn't click. So now they literally want me isolated! I can't have a phone, or ipod or any way of being able to contact people.... how can you even be friends with someone if you have no way of contacting them.?!? Anyways my mom is very verbally abusive as well. One minute she is saying how much she loves you and then the next she is screaming at you about how she hates you, you an ugly slut, and shes wants to kill you or smash your head into a wall. Every once in a while she does hit me, but not often enough to be considered physical abuse. It got so bad dealing with her and having no friends to conside in that I ended up attempting suicide this past summer and ended up in the hosptial. I also was in the hospital because I struggle with earring disorders... to the point where I no longer get my period and faint randomly. Its all messed up and I refuse to quit my job and my free college. My bf (whose 19) and his dad offered to let me stay with them. My parents told me as soon as I decide what im doing to let them know because if I don't quit my job and free schooling and don't go all religious they want me out... I ddon't know what to do!!!

    Comment


    • re: done at 16.

      Hi Cora,

      Thanks for reaching out today and sharing your story with us. It sounds like you are going through so much with your parents. They sound very controlling of your life and it sounds like you’re feeling really trapped living with them. It’s got to be so frustrating to work so hard for your whole life and then in one minute they tell you drop what you’ve worked for. It seems like you are incredibly smart and have worked for what you have. That’s admirable to say the least. We’re glad that you reached out because you’re asking some great questions and working on putting together a plan. So let’s see how we can help you out.

      It doesn’t sound like you want to quit school and your job. If that’s something that you don’t decide to do, it sounds like your parents are going to make you leave the home. They are completely wrong to do that. If that does happen, then you have the right to file a neglect report because they are legally responsible for you until you turn 18. You can contact Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and ask about making a neglect report. They would be able to talk through with you next steps about that. That number is a good number to have because if they kick you out, you have the right to a safe place to live. Making a neglect report is one way to ensure that you have a place to live.

      Now, if your parents kick you out for continuing to work and to get your education, then it sounds like you would be able to live with your boyfriend. It’s good that you have a safe place to go if you are kicked out. You would still be able to attend your school too because it’s online.

      It sounds like all of this is so overwhelming to you. One resource that can be helpful for you during this time is the National Suicide Hotline. It’s a good place to call if you are feeling really overwhelmed and feeling like you have nowhere to turn. You can call them at 1-800-273-8255 24 hours a day. We are also here to support you through this.

      Please give us a call or chat with us to talk more about what is going on. You can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central time.

      We look forward to your call or chat.

      Best of luck to you,

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • If you are 15 in Pennsylvania can you get introuble. If you turning 16 in a month

        Comment


        • RE:

          Hello,

          Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you do not want to be at home anymore. You have made a great step in contacting us for help and support.

          We are not legal expert, but we can speak in general terms. To start off with, running away is not a criminal offense it is a status offense which means that you cannot leave without parental consent because of your age being 15/16. Generally, the age to be an adult is 18. If you were to leave before you turn 18 then the following could happen. If you were to leave, then your parents would have the option of filing a runaway report. If the police were to find you, then they would bring you back home. If the police found you at a friend or family member house, then your parents would have the option of charging that person with harboring a runaway, which is a criminal offense-a misdemeanor offense.

          We hoped this helped and we encourage you to call our 24/7 hotline at 1800.786.2929 or you can chat with us every day from 4:30pm-11:30pm CST. We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck.

          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • 17 year old run away turning 18 in a year

            I will be 18 in a year and I am trying to leave with my boyfriend whom is 21. I cannot live in my home any longer. I was wondering, if I leave with him and make it till I turn 18, will I still have the charges on me? And will he be in any trouble for housing a run away if they don't find out till I am 18? Also I live in Florida and was wondering if they dig deep to get a runaway back home. What I mean is, do they concentrate on those types of cases? I haven't been able to find much so I figured I'd ask on here. Y'all seem to have nice answers and are very helpful to everyone.

            Comment


            • RE: 17 year old run away turning 18 in a year

              Hello there –

              Thank you for taking the time out of your day to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. From what you have told us about your situation, it sounds like you’re thinking about living your home. Seems like there might be some things going on with living with your patents, can you explain to us a little about what’s been going on recently?

              Now we have to state that here at NRS, we aren’t legal experts here so we can’t tell you in definite terms what would happen if you decided to move out to at the age of 17 years old. State varies from state to state on that specific subject. Though from the general rule is that for the person that has legal custody over you, has the right to report you to the police as a runaway since you are still under the age of 18. In most states you are still considered under the age of majority and are still considered a minor. What that means is that if a police officer were to pick you up, they would see that you have a report filed under your name and take you back home to your parents or held until arrangements can be made to take you back home. Now since we can’t tell you in definite terms what would happen, we usually suggest that you get into contact with your non-emergency police number for your area to get more of a solid answer to your question.

              From the general knowledge that we know about the police, it isn’t something that police do as far as actively look for runaways. Some agencies help with posting flyers and posting a missing/runaway flyer online so that it might circulate to help find a missing/runaway youth. Though one think that your parents can do is that if they have a feeling that you might be somewhere in particular, they can contact the police to go pick you up from that location. If they were to withhold any information, they could possible get charged harboring a runaway. Which leads to legal action.

              Sounds like you have been thinking about leaving your parents’ home for quite a while now. What would your overall plan be (i.e housing (how long would your boyfriend’s parents allow you to stay), transposition, financial stability, school options, access to food/clothes, etc)? How do you think your parents would react to you leaving?
              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

              National Runaway Safeline
              [email protected] (Crisis Email)
              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

              Tell us what you think about your experience!
              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

              Comment


              • Idek so....

                When I was younger I loved my family and they loved me,( I am an only child with a happily married mother and father along with a loving dog who is a beagle). I was in elementary school back then and well, let's just say I was lazy.... REALLY lazy. I literally barely passed every year in elementary school. When I was just about to enter fifth grade we moved, at the old school I had been at, I had no friends, only bullies. I don't miss it at all.
                Anyway, I moved. I started a new life. That's when my care and love began to change. I began loathing even seeing or talking to my mom, She began to put pressure on me. Before this you should know that she used to work a very long hard job. I literally never saw her, she came home at 12am, she never even said "goodnight" to me. This was when I was 7-10 years old. When I moved here I immediately began making friends. I have lived here for five years now, I'm 15. My friendships grew, in fact, if u asked me how many friends I had now I could easily say about 70 friends and 100 acquaintances. When I got to middle school my moms pressure on me grew. 8th grade was a severe turn. She started giving me 20 minute or more lectures a day on something like my friendships of language or (especially) grades. Now I'm on 9th grade, I get yelled at about twice a month because I still have my streaks of laziness, other than that I'm an above average student. Well, it's not good enough for my mom, and it never seems to be. I can't tolerate it anymore, I'm starting to have dreams about myself screaming and crying and becoming insane. I can't take it anymore.... Some help plz.... I'm seriously thinking about running away I don't want to kill myself, I want to live. So how can I run away and not be caught for about 8 hours? I'm even thinking about saving up money for a flight to Italy...

                Comment


                • RE: Idek so....

                  Hello there –

                  Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. From your message to us, it sounds like you have are going through a very hard time right now and seem to be very overwhelmed with everything that is going on. It seems like you mother really cares about you and how you’re doing in school, but it also sounds like that might not be the best way to talk about those things with you. Have you tried talking to her about the way she brings things up around you and what that makes you feel? Maybe if she heard something from your point of view it might change the way she talks about grades with you. Or maybe going to talk to your father also might help as well and have a family meeting type thing to open up the floor to better communication between all three of you guys together. Does that sound like something that you’d feel comfortable with doing?

                  Unfortunately, here at the NRS we cannot tell you in definite terms what would happen if you were to leave home without permission because we are not legal experts. Laws on that specific subject vary from state to state, so our advice would be call your local non-emergency police number to get more information on that. What typically happens though; your parents would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away, but since it’s only considered a statues offense the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home. Again this does depend on your specific state laws and police policy.

                  It sounds like you have been thinking about leaving for quite some time now though. What would your overall plan be (i.e housing options, transposition, financial stability, school options, access to food/clothes, etc)? What do you think your mother would do if you were to leave your house and moved someplace else?
                  Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                  National Runaway Safeline
                  [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                  1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                  Tell us what you think about your experience!
                  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                  Comment


                  • mom problems

                    Hi I'm 17 and in a month I'll be 18. My mom kicked me out and now is saying I'm a runaway. I'm staying with my grandmother at the time until I'm done with high school. I wanted to see if she can report me and would it matter if I am because I'm turning 18 soon.???

                    Comment


                    • re: mom problems

                      Hi,

                      We are really happy that you decided to contact us. It must be a frustrating situation for you to be dealing with with your mom.
                      Is there something that happened at home that led your mom to kick you out? It’s good that you have your grandmother to stay with for the time being!

                      So in all states, the age of majority (the age you are technically an adult in the eyes of the law) is 18. However, a lot of states have an acting age of majority of 17, or sometimes even younger. If this was the case, that means that the police probably wouldn’t take a report from your mom. Usually, the best way to find this out would be to call the non-emergency number of your local police station and ask them whether or not they would take a runaway report for a 17 year old.

                      You are also welcome to call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here 24/7 if you wanted to talk to us some more about your situation.

                      Best of luck!
                      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                      National Runaway Safeline
                      [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                      Tell us what you think about your experience!
                      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                      Comment


                      • Idk

                        I have a friend who is 17 and lives in Tennessee if she leaves and goes to michigan can she be charged and brought back to Tennessee?

                        Comment


                        • Re: Idk

                          Hi,

                          Thanks for contacting us today, it sounds like your friend is in a tough situation right now, but she is really lucky to have you looking out for her. It’s great that you are reaching out and trying to help figure out all of her options before she makes any big moves.

                          Here at NRS, we aren’t legal experts, so we don’t know exactly what could happen if your friend were to go to Michigan. However, we can generally say that running away isn’t illegal, it’s just a status offense. What that means is, if your friend were to leave home without her guardian’s permission, they could then file a runaway report with the police. That would label her as a runaway, so if she were to encounter the police in any way, or if they found out where she is, then they could return her home. The consequences could be different depending on the situation, so if she is on probation or is going to stay with an older romantic partner, or there is any illegal activity going on, she could get into more trouble and the people she stays with could get into legal trouble.

                          However, different states have different policies and each situation is handled differently, especially for 17 year olds who leave home, so the best way to get specific information about what could happen to her is to call your local police department’s non-emergency number and ask them how they handle 17 year old runaways who cross state lines. You can definitely do this without giving them any identifying information and just say it’s a hypothetical situation. If you aren’t comfortable making that call, you or your friend can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), or live chat with us on our website, www.1800runaway.org, everyday 4:30pm-11:30pm CST, we are confidential and anonymous and can make that call for you. We are also here if you or your friend ever just need to talk about the situation or need resources such as shelter, counselling, or legal referrals.

                          You are obviously a really great friend and care a lot about your friend’s future and safety. Feel free to pass on our information to her, and don’t hesitate to contact us again if either of you need anything else.

                          Good luck and stay safe,
                          NRS
                          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                          National Runaway Safeline
                          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                          Tell us what you think about your experience!

                          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

                          Comment


                          • Please answer

                            Can I leave a emergency shelter if I am 18 but on probation till I graduate (which is in 2 months) if I have somewhere to go. And keep my grades up.

                            Comment


                            • RE: Please answer

                              Hello there –

                              Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public bulletin board. We are always here to listen and here to help you in any way that we can. From your message it sounds like you were thinking about leaving an emergency shelter and staying someplace else instead. We can’t unfortunately give you a direct answer to your question because each shelter is set up differently from one another. From what we know about the general rules about emergency shelters it that most of them at voluntary; meaning you can come and go. But to make sure, maybe there is a person at the actual shelter or program that you can ask. They might be about to give you a straight answer about what you can or can’t do at the shelter as far as leaving. You might be able to even call from and phone and talk to someone from the first desk if you don’t feel comfortable talking in person.

                              If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org). If you contact us and give us more information about your location and situation we would be more than happy to help you find resources.
                              Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                              National Runaway Safeline
                              inf[email protected] (Crisis Email)
                              1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                              Tell us what you think about your experience!
                              https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                              Comment


                              • Less Than Two Months Until I'm 18.

                                I moved out of my parents house in November of 2014, with their permission. I have been living with my Fiance (who is 18 now) and now we have the opportunity to move to a different state. Will her or I get into trouble since I haven't been living with my parents for 6 months? Plus my parents keep telling me they want nothing to do with me and I'm less than 2 months from turning 18?

                                Comment

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