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I'm 15 and I want to move in with my grandma.

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  • I'm 15 and I want to move in with my grandma.

    My mom is mentally abusive and makes me sad all the time that I just want to end it all. She's barely ever home which leaves me by myself almost all the time. I just wish I could move in with my grandma but I think you need a parents consent for that and I know my mom wouldn't let me. Is there any way to move in with my grandma and not have my moms consent?

  • #2
    Re: I'm 15 and I want to move in with my grandma

    Hi there,
    We are sorry to hear that your mom is mentally abusive. That must put a great deal of stress on you.

    You mention feeling like you want to end it all. If you feel suicidal, we hope you will consider reaching out for help. One way to do that is to call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

    As for your main question about moving in with your grandma: We are not legal experts, but we can share some general information. If your mom does have custody of you, and you leave to live with your grandma, she may be able to file a runaway report, which could mean that the police would bring you back to your mom. Depending on the laws in your state, it could also be a misdemeanor for your grandmother to let you stay with her, if she does not have your mom's consent. Please feel free to give us a call, and we can help you find any legal resources for your state that can give you more information.

    You may consider whether there is anything that might convince your mom to allow you to move. Have you considered reaching out to other adults for help, such as a school counselor or family friend? You might think about whether anyone can talk yo your mom on your behalf, or be there with you when you tell her that you want to live with your grandma.

    If you are ever physically hurt at home, or are not provided with basic needs, you could make a child abuse report, so that somebody would investigate what is going on at home. If you think this might apply to you, we can make an abuse report over the phone with you. You can also call 1-800-422-4453 to find out more information.

    Please know that you are always welcome to give us a call to talk about your situation in more detail. We wish you the best of luck.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Im a fifteen year old boy an i dont wanna live with my mom shes mean to me an cuss me out every single day she talks bad about me an how im such a loser an i dont know my father because of my moms past an the only person out there for me an will actually listen to me an actually cares about what i have to say an my feeling too i just wanna have a good life an get a job an Finnish school an i dont really see my mom at all because shes at work all day everything so her husbands step mom an sister woches me an i hate that too an when my mom is home shes always in her bedroom an i have no one to talk to or nothing so that makes me do stupid stuff i just need help with this an want my live to be good like everyone eles i hate living here

      Comment


      • ccsmod14
        ccsmod14 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation. It was smart to contact us for support, we are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. We are sorry to hear how your parents are mentally abusing you, it sounds like living in that kind of environment must be very stressful and must make you feel misunderstood. It is understandable to want to be in a better situation.

        We do offer a conference call option where we facilitate a conversation between a youth and their legal guardian to discuss issues at home and come up with some agreements. Sometimes a close family member or family friend can do this in person to help communicate some of the feelings you’ve been having. We also can provide some resources to organizations as well like community centers that offer family counseling or free legal assistance for questions around transferring custody.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you would like to talk more in depth.

        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #4
      im 14. I currently live with my mom dad and younger brother. I love them all and its not like I'm gonna run away but I always get blamed for everything and my moms really protective of me which I understand means she cares but like when I'm going to look back on my childhood I'm just going to remember the fact that my dad always yells at me for really stupid ridiculous things which makes me feel really bad inside and my moms like choking me on a leash. my gramma lives alone and I think it would be a good thing for her to have company and I could also get in the high school I really want to I just don't know how to bring this up to my parents.,

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS) . We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear about the issues you are having with your parents. It sounds like you want to live with your grandmother. You could try asking your grandmother if she could talk to your parents for you. Here at NRS, we offer conference calls between youth and their parents. This could be an opportunity for you to discuss the possibility of you staying with your grandmother to your parents. The conference call would be moderated by an NRS worker. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

    • #5
      Hi I am 14 and I was planning to run away and leave my adopting parents I want to live with my grandma because my grandma really wants me and my mom which she really not my mom my tia is adopting me but therefore I want to live with grandma because I feel like she doesn't care about me she doesn't even care about me my mother tells me to change because I behave bad and I change really good but the one that didn't change is her when she says pick up this I pick up and I say sorry mom and she just always say mean things and its really annoying I can't take it I use to get bully at school because my mom wouldn't buy me clothes shoes it was really embarrassing we were not even poor like really it really sucks I told my mom I want to go with my grandma when I'm 15 she was like I don't care so let’s see she won't get money off of me.
      Last edited by ccsmod4; 10-09-2018, 12:36 AM.

      Comment


      • #6
        Reply: Hi i am 14 and I was planning to run away

        Hello,
        Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

        We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are having some issues getting along with mom or aunt and would like to live with your grandmother.
        Sometimes things cab become so frustrating that you are not sure what to do to change them.
        We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to or seek emergency assistance immediately.
        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Take care,
        NRS


        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #7
          Hi I’m 14 about to be 15 I live with my mom my dad died a couple months ago we were never close because of him always getting in trouble and my mom not liking him. My mom has always in my opinion hated me. She loves my little brother much more than me maybe because he doesn’t get in as much trouble but I really do try my best to stay out of it. Every sense I can remember she has yelled at my or spanked me it’s embarrassing because I’m almost 15 and I’m afraid to come home some days. She doesn’t beat me up or anything but she does put all the blame on me and thinks the worst of me. I can’t talk to people about my feelings and I blame her for that she has made me uncomfortable around people when talking to them about myself I can’t even talk to her. I have gotten caught smoking weed. That was about one month after my dad died he always smoked it and I wanted to see why he loved it so much. But I guess you could say she she never trust me I mean that’s what she says. But when I’m with her I can’t be myself I have to put on an act I have to be funny and smiling or quiet and out of sight. I remember when I was sad about my dad I wouldn’t eat or talk then she yelled at me and told me to stop acting like that cuz it made my brother upset. I want and need to move in with my grandma she understands everything she wants me to get a tutor and a therapist. (My grades dropped so much. And my mom said that I don’t need help I need to stop being dumb) anyways my grandma has everything I would everything I would need in a real mom. But the thing is I’m afraid that If she found out she would I don’t even know but she has money and my grandma doesn’t have as much and I feel like my mom would win and she would send me away she has already threatened too

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello!

            Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline! It sounds like you are in a difficult situation and we are happy to help in any way that we can!

            You are worthy of feeling loved and feel like you are welcomed in your own home. It sounds like you are in a tough situation not being able to talk to anyone about what is going on. Being able to express our emotions when we are sad is a natural and normal thing to do. You deserve to be able to tell your mom how you really feel. If you are interested in having a conversation like that but cannot think of an unbiased third party, we provide a conference calling service here at NRS. You would call in here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), we would talk about your situation, and then we could call out to your mom and have a safe space for a difficult discussion. We remain on the line to keep the conversation productive.

            You mentioned that you want to move in with your grandma. There might be some legal issues if your mom does not want you to live there. If she is against you living with your grandma and you choose to go stay with her, there could be some legal charges pressed against your grandma. If you want to talk further feel free to give us a call here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are a 24/7, toll-free, completely confidential safeline. If you would rather chat, we have an instant messaging service available on our website, www.1800runaway.org. We’re here to listen, here to help.

            Best of luck and be safe,
            The National Runaway Safeline

        • #8
          Hi i'm 14 and i want to live with my grandma because my dad and step mom are mean to me they yell at me for no reason and my step mom smacks me in the face sometimes because i "talk back" and my dad snacked me and put his hands around my neck like he was gonna choke me but its no big deal because it leave a mark but my mom is in jail and she's getting out Wednesday so i'm gonna call her and see if she can come get me because i'm sick and tired of living here and getting yelled at but idk what to do because my dad has half custody of me and my mom has custody to and i don't wanna live here i wanna live with my grandma.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there, thanks for contacting National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry you are feeling mistreated by your father and step mom. It must not feel goof to be yelled at for no reason or hit and choked. You do not deserve to be treated like that by anyone. It seems like you really want to live outside of the home you are in now. It may be beneficial to communicate this to your father and your grandmother to see if there is the possibility they would agree for you to stay with your grandmother. Your mother may surely want to have you live with her but, it may be beneficial to consider that if your mother does not have anywhere stable to stay herself, she may want to do that first, which could take some time. Your safety and comfort is important and she sure may concerned about that as well. It may be beneficial to explore some immediate options if you are really feeling uncomfortable, such as speaking with your father and discussing the issues you all are having in hopes of resolving them, or communicating to him and your grandmother about the option of you living with your grandmother. It may be beneficial to speak with an adult who can serve as a third party about ways to navigate this, such as a counselor or family member you trust. We are more than willing to speak with you about some ways you can do these things. It can be difficult to talk to your parents and we would like to support you. Please, feel free to give us a call at any time on our 24/7 hotline 1800-RUNAWAY or chat with us live by visiting our website 1800runaway.org. We wish you the best of luck.

        • #9
          Hi I'm 15 and Iwant to move back with my grandma she has been taking care of me since I was 14 I recently moved in with my dad and around that time he got custody over me but now I want to be with my grandma cause my dad and his wife have bad life style habits and when I try to talk to him about what I think about things he gets mad saying this is our house and we can dowhat ever we want u dont have a say in it I really miss being in my old home so I told my dad I was gonna move back with my grandma and he said no what should i do now?

          Comment


          • #10
            Reply: Hi I'm 15 and Iwant to move back....

            Hello,
            Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

            We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Often moving transitions can feel awkward so we understand that it has not been easy for you. It might be helpful for us if we could learn more about your situation. By learning more it might help us to better explore options and hear any idea’s you might have that might help make the situation at least tolerable for you. Sometimes talking things over might bring to light some idea’s not thought of before. We want you to know that NRS is here to support you during this tough time.

            If you would like to talk more about your situation, please contact 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or www.1800runaway.org
            We look forward to hearing from you.

            Take care,
            NRS


            We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #11
              Hello, and I’m 13 years old. My family and I recently moved to Houston, Texas. At my old school, I was always teased for my weight, and I was excited to move. Unfortunately, the same problems are happening at my new school. Fortunately though, I’ve been working out and working on myself for weeks now. I’m starting my transformation. I plan on moving in with my grandma. But my mom says she needs custody over me. I really don’t want to stay here anymore. What’s even better, is that my aunt lives with my grandma, so my grandma isn’t the only one at the house. I want to live with her soo bad because in order for her to register me for school, she has to have custody. I’ve been trying to talk to my mom about this, but she keeps blowing the whole situation off. What do I do? Can I still move in without my mother’s consent?

              Comment


              • #12
                Reply:Hello, and I’m 13 years old.

                Hello,
                Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

                We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. Often moving transitions can feel awkward so we understand that it has not been easy for you. It sounds like you are getting some inspiration and working hard on yourself for change. Living with your grandmother sounds like something that you want to do but mom won’t grant you permission.
                She is your parent and as such she does have the right to decide where and who you may live with. We’re glad you reached out.

                It is times like these that it might be have some comfort to have a listening ear.
                We would like to be of assistance to you if we can.
                Sometimes it can be helpful to talk with someone about your feelings for the situation.
                We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, we would be glad to listen and perhaps explore some options with you. Please call or chat soon.

                Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

                We hope to hear from you soon.

                Take care,
                NRS
                We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #13
                  I’m twelve, and my mom keeps breaking her promises-and my trust. A week ago, she had her friend and her friend bratty daughter come over, and her friends daughter was very difficult. Her friend comes over 3 times a week, and I asked my mum if we could have a break from her for a bit. She agreed, and I was cool with that. That Sunday, her friend came over again, and I talked to my mum about her promise, and she denied it. I also went out with my friends last night, and my mum asked if that same friend could look after the kids while she picked us all up late. I said yes, and made her promise multiple times that her friend would go after me and my friend got home for our sleepover. In the car on the way back, my mum said she changed her mind, and that parents are allowed to do that. But it happens too often, and I can’t even trust her anymore. I’ve bren openly honest that I really dislike her friend, but she makes up crazy excuses for it each time I repeat it to her, calmly. She is also constantly yelling and cussing at me, which makes me feel depressed. My grandma lives on her own, and I would just love to go live with her. Trust is what holds people together, and mine is gone. I hold loyalty very close to me...and I’m just so done. I really hope she doesn’t see this....thanks for reading.

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod15
                    ccsmod15 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hi there, Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
                    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

                • #14
                  so recently me and my mom havent been getting along.. like at all.. i want to go live with my grandma, she has anything and everything i could need and while im over there i actually feel confortable talking about how i feel, unlike how it is at my moms house. When im with my biological dad, i cant act like myself, and when im with my mom, im always getting yelled at, and for things that arent even that big of a deal.. honestly when im at my grandmas house, i feel free.. im scared she is gonna hate me if i tell her i wanna live with my grandma.. and she will be totally against it.. so against it she might not even let me see my grandma anymore.. maybe there is some sort of ways to avoid legal options.. and i dont wanna talk to her about it either.. help please

                  Comment


                  • ccsmod1
                    ccsmod1 commented
                    Editing a comment
                    Hey there,

                    Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. It sounds like your mom isn’t listening to you when you are trying to express your thoughts and feelings about how her actions have been affecting you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member (like your grandma) to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your mom so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

                    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in-depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

                    Stay safe,
                    NRS
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