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  • #46
    Re: I don't want to live with my parents anymore

    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that you’re unhappy at home and hope that we can help out the best we can.

    It sounds like you have an incredibly great relationship with your grandparents which is great. We aren’t legal experts but we can try and help you understand what would need to happen in order for you to live with your grandparents legally. In order for you to live with your grandparents legally and without consequence, your parents would either have to provide consent for that to happen or custody/guardianship would have to be transferred over to your grandparents. In order for custody to be transferred to your grandparents, a case would have to be made for custody to be removed from your parents. This may mean getting involved with Child Protective Services and/or the courts. Often times, these processes can be long and exhaustive, and who guardianship is transferred to isn’t always in our control.

    Another option is to receive consent from your parents to live with your grandparents. Your parent(s) may give you permission to live with another family (i.e your grandparents), but without getting an official document from the court they would still be legally responsible for you. Which means that they can also take away that permission at any given moment and take you back home to live with them once again. So that can be an option for you if you feel like your parents might respond well to you living with you grandparents. We understand that this option may not sound like the most desirable option, but it could be helpful to understand how you can communicate your interest in living with your grandparents. Maybe talking to them about how living with them helps improve other aspects of your life could be an option. Another is seeing if your grandparents could also talk to your parents with you as well.

    We know that these things are tough and can be frustrating when there are so many barriers keeping us from living where we feel most comfortable, but we hope that some of this was helpful. If you’d like to explore more options or simply just talk more, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1(800)RUNAWAY. Our lines are always open 24/7.

    We hope that you take care.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #47
      Please help me

      Hi, I'm a fourteen year old male and I am in need of help. Let me explain my situation, my real mother wants nothing to do with me. I was abused by several family members so I do not see my real mother's side anymore.
      My sister was murdered by my brother in 2014 and we moved to another state in 2015.
      I live with my step mom, my dad, and four half siblings. I am the oldest. Now me and my step mother absolutely hate each other. She's said it so manytimes. In front of all my little siblings too. She has hit/clawed me several times and left scars on my arms, and face. Now I am a big guy, almost six foot and 195lbs and have never hit her. There have been many crazy screaming fights. My dad has tried but I don't think he wants to do anything about it. I was even suicidal because of her. One morning she woke me up, I did my dishes and took out the dog and went back to bed. She screamed at me and woke me up saying I needed to take the trash out. I got up and made a bowl of cereal and was gonna eat first before I took it out. She came up and screamed at me and I said "Why are you screaming at me?" She then got an inch from my face and screamed as loud as she could "THIS IS SCREAMING" I tensed up and clenched my fists and she said "Do you want me to smack you?" I said she would regret it. She asked if I wanted her to punch me in the face. I said she'll really regret that. She slapped me upside the head and I stood up. She then literally came swinging at me with balled fists, so all I did was grab her wrists and prevent her from hitting me. I did not hurt her at all.
      But this is the reason why I hate her with such a passion; while all I was doing was holding her wrists, not allowing her to sock me in the face, my 8 and 3 year old sister were screaming and crying for me to "quit hurting mommy" I pushed my mom back and she came back swinging at me. She screamed at me "C'MON ***! HIT ME DO IT!" And I said "No! You're my mom! I love you! Look what you're doing to your children!!!" And she screamed "I ***HATE YOU!" And from there I held her wrists and she was backed into a wall. She then kicked me quite hard in my privates... That's when I think she realized she went to far and she stopped. I kept sayin "What the is wrong with you!? You're crazy!!!" And stuff like that.
      She called my dad and she told him I was calling her a psycho and that I was trying to break her wrists. So when I got on the phone with my dad he was yelling and cussing at me and i started breaking down and crying because he wouldn't let me say what happened. I was then sent to my room for the rest of the day not being allowed to leave at all.
      This is what I have to deal with at home. This is why I cannot stay here anymore. I am writing from my step mom's moms house. That same night all that happened, there was an even bigger fight, and I will admit, I really lost my temper. She said she hated me but she loved my brother(the one that killed my sister) she said she would be happy if I was dead. So I said I would kill myslef and she said "good"
      She said she did not want me in this family and she told my dad "Honey, you have to make a decision, either he goes or I go." And he called my grandpa and he agreed to let me stay with my dad's dad on the weekends and my step mom's mom trough out the week. But only for two weeks. So this Friday I have to go back to her.
      But I don't want to. I've been so happy here. I want to live with my dad's dad. Its a place out in the country, and I can still go to highschool, and I can see my family at least once a month. I don't think they will agree with that. I'm not sure my grandpa will agree with that. But they seem so happy without me. I spoke to my mother today on the phone and asked her if she was happier. And she wouldn't answer.
      I feel if I go back I'm going to lose my mind. I can't do this anymore. I need help ASAP. Please I'm begging you to help me.. Thank you. I will be checking to see if anyone replies to my post.
      Last edited by ccsmod10; 06-29-2016, 11:57 PM.

      Comment


      • #48
        problems

        I'm living with my mom and her boyfriend just moved in with us and ever since they started dating my mom has been yelling at me and then blames me for the stuff I didn't do like her and her boyfriend and I have been trying to stay at my grandma's house but my mom will not allow me and my grandma is the only person I know that's related to me

        Comment


        • #49
          RE: Please help me

          Hello There

          Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We thank you for sharing your story and commend you for your courage as this is not always an easy thing to do. It sounds like your strength has been tested having gone through many difficult times throughout your life. Your resiliency is impeccable. You mentioned having fought through some thoughts of ending your life and it is no small feat to have overcame this even once. You are a great and worthy person of a happy and healthy life. If you ever have those feelings again or just want to talk we are here! You can always call us at 1800-RUNAWAY or use of live chat. You can also get some additional support by calling the National Suicide Hotline at 1800-273-TALK. Sometimes reaching out to a listening ear from anyone including family, friends, teachers, etc can help cope with some of the things that you may be going through.
          You mentioned experiencing some unsafe situations with your step-mother and your father not exactly having your well-being in mind. It is great that you have found solace at/with your father’s father. If you ever fear for your life or safety, by all means, feel free to do what you feel is best to regain your safety. If that means reaching out to adults or friends to do so. An option that you could possibly consider is reporting your experiences with the authorities or to child protective services. This has the potential to assist with regaining your safety in various ways. You are not alone. We are here to discuss this option more with you, talk to cps together, or on your behalf. If you would like to report you can also call Child Help at 1800-422-4453.
          It sounds like the option that you are feeling is best right now is you living at your father’s father. Maybe this living arrangement is something that you can talk to him about or come to a compromise with your father. Typically, your father’s permission is needed to live elsewhere since 14 is under the age of what is considered to be an adult. Some other things that maybe could be useful to think about: How long do you anticipate being able to stay here? How will you support yourself or whom you will be staying with be willing to support you financially with food, clothing, other personal expenses/ allow you to stay rent free? What if things do not work out here in the future, what will be your back up plan? If you can give us a call we can try to find some youth shelters that may be in your area. We can also try to call out with you or on your behalf to advocate in finding shelter availability once you give us a call at 1800-RUNAWAY.

          Remember you are not alone! We are here 24/7

          Stay Strong and Stay Safe,
          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          [email protected] (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #50
            Re: Problems

            Hi,

            Thank you so much for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things are a bit difficult at home right now. You don’t deserve to be constantly yelled at and blamed for things. We’re sorry to hear that your mom won’t allow you to live with your grandma.

            You’re doing a great job at exploring other living options for yourself and it sounds like you may need help in continuing to explore options. You mentioned you don’t know anyone else that is related to you, so let’s explore some other options in addition to staying with grandma. Other housing options could include staying in a shelter or alternative living arrangement (ALA). If you call or chat with us, we could look up specific resources in your area and even help you call them.

            You also mentioned your mom will not allow you to stay with your grandma. Another option we offer, is a service of conference calling, where we could help you talk to your mom with us on the phone.

            Again, we’re really glad you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us on the National Runaway Safeline website. We’re here to listen, here to help.

            Stay strong,
            National Runaway Safeline
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #51
              I wanna move in with grandparents but my dad won't let me!

              I feel uncomfortable and treated unfairly at my dads house. I told him that I wanted to live with my grandparents but he won't let me and says if I do it's illegal and he'll report it. Is that right because I don't like my parents home and I feel more appreciated and treated better at my grandparents. My grandma says if I ever want to stay I can but you guys already know why I can't, is there anyway I can move in with grandparents legally?

              Comment


              • #52
                Re: I wanna move in with grandparents but my dad won't let me!

                Hello,

                We are glad that you are reaching out to us, and we are here to help in any way that we can. We are sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds really difficult. You asked about the legality of leaving home and moving in with your grandparents. We are not legal experts so we can’t give you a definitive answer. But generally, the age of majority (the age where you are legally considered an adult) is 18. However, this does vary from state to state. Sex Etc. (http://sexetc.org/) does have information regarding the age of majority by state so you might find some of their info helpful. We also want to encourage you to call us, we can discuss what you options are and provide you with support. We are here 24 hours a day, and again, we are always here to help. Good luck!

                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #53
                  I need out of my house

                  Please someone give me some advice I need it, I can't deal with living with my parents anymore, they're preachers and they're so strict, I have an 18 year old girlfriend that I am deeply deeply in love with its not a puppy love like I already got engaged to her. And all they do is try to keep me away from her and she's 18 and could have anything but she stays for me, and it doesn't help when I'm not able to do anything with her or anyone else, my parents won't let me go to my friends house, I've been to 2 friends house in 3 months, it's terrible they treat me like dog crap, and talk to me like dirt and their so not understanding, their so un fair and I've hated them all my life, they give me suicide thoughts, they make me go nutts and my brain tie up in a knot, me and my dad sometimes actually fight fight, but anyway That's not even have the story, but I wanna run away from home but I don't want to make it worse. I want to live with my grandparents, bacause even that would be better. I hate my life how it is so how can I legally leave my parents to live with them

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Re: I need out of my house

                    Hello and thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like there is a lot of tension at home. You mentioned feeling mistreated by your parents. You don’t deserve to be mistreated by anyone. Sometimes emotional abuse can be reported to child protected services, but it may be difficult to prove. If you want to learn more about abuse reporting, please call or visit Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453, www.childhelp.org.

                    It is normal and common for teens to want to have some freedom so see friends and socialize, but you feel you parents set some pretty strict rules for you. You feel as though they are unfair and have caused you to feel stressed and depressed. You mentioned that they have even caused you to have suicidal thoughts which sounds like a scary experience. Talking about your feelings may be helpful, and we’re here to listen. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 is another helpful resource to turn to if you are experiencing stress, depression, suicidal thoughts, or other negative feelings.

                    You mentioned wanting to live with your grandparents legally. We aren’t experts on the law, but usually if a parent gives permission for a minor to live with another relative that may be enough as long as the minor will be living in a safe environment with all of their basic needs being taken care of. Unless you are your own legal guardian (age of majority is 18 in most states) you are expected to reside with your parents. Perhaps your grandparents could speak with your parents about letting you live with them. Having support during this stressful time is important.

                    We are here to help explore options with you. If you would like to talk more, please call or chat soon.

                    Best,
                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      I need out of my house

                      Please someone give me some advice I need it, I can't deal with living with my parents anymore, they're preachers and they're so strict, I have an 18 year old girlfriend that I am deeply deeply in love with its not a puppy love like I already got engaged to her. And all they do is try to keep me away from her and she's 18 and could have anything but she stays for me, and it doesn't help when I'm not able to do anything with her or anyone else, my parents won't let me go to my friends house, I've been to 2 friends house in 3 months, it's terrible they treat me like dog crap, and talk to me like dirt and their so not understanding, their so un fair and I've hated them all my life, they give me suicide thoughts, they make me go nutts and my brain tie up in a knot, me and my dad sometimes actually fight fight, but anyway That's not even have the story, but I wanna run away from home but I don't want to make it worse. I want to live with my grandparents, bacause even that would be better. I hate my life how it is so how can I legally leave my parents to live with them

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Re: I need out of my house

                        Hi there,

                        Thanks for writing here on the NRS forums. It seems you posted your situation in an earlier post. Sometimes posts are validated with responses and posted at a later time from a user's original posting. NRS tries to respond to every post within a reasonable time. Please refer to the response to your original post from NRS above. If you would like to talk in more detail, we can best listen and provide support over the phone or through chat.

                        Take care,
                        NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Re: I want to live with my grandparents.

                          Please try to help me. I live with my mother, and her boyfriend and they treat me so unfair along with a lot of mental abuse and I can't take it anymore. I wish to live with my grandmother but my mother refuses to let me. I just want to get away from my mother its not that I don't love her because I do. i just don't want to live there. What can I do?

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Re: I want to live with my grandparents.

                            Hello there,
                            Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re so sorry to hear how your mom and her boyfriend are treating you at home. It must be so frustrating to feel so trapped. It’s understandable that you’d want to live with someone else. We’re so sorry you’re being met with resistance.
                            We should start by saying we’re not legal experts here. We can only speak generally on this topic. As far as we know, a minor can live outside of their home with their guardian’s permission. Do you think it’s possible for your grandmother to help you speak with your mother about living with her? It sounds like you might want some support behind you if mom keeps shutting you down.
                            If you wanted, we could help you talk to mom. If you called in here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we’d be able to reach out to mom and see if she’d be willing to sit down for a conference call. We’d be able to help you ask mom about living with mom and what kinds of steps you might have to take to make that happen. If you think that’s a good idea, give us a call and we’ll talk about it! We’re completely confidential and available 24/7.
                            It sounds like a really hard situation. Hang in there.
                            Best of luck,
                            NRS
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #59
                              i rather live with my granparets

                              Ok I'm about to turn 14 in Nov but I rather live with my grandpa and grandma my mom shes 33 she works 2 jobs she played the Xbox after work and she waste all of her money on cigerattes and spends no time with me but on the other hand i was basically raised By my granparents there loving and caring way more than my mom. How I was raised by my granparets I was 5 I used to live in Ennis Texas and my moms boyfirend broke up with her and I spent about 7 years living with my grandma and grandpa and then my mom found a new boyfriend who I'm ok with he's not the greatest he has a anger issue I think and were complete opposite I love sports he weather be inside instead of throwing the football with me. But my grandpa will do what ever he can to go hang out with me like looking for deer or riding the go cart watch south park all kinds of stuff. But there's 1 big problem my grandparents are poor the built half a house and 1 room when I visit I sleep in the kitchen/family room but if I moved in we would have to spend some money for mg picky eating habbit and make a room in the attic for me I just wish I could do that! Can some one give me advice😢😣

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                re: I want to live with my grandparents

                                Hello,

                                Thanks for sharing your story. It seems that you feel that your mom is unfit to take care of you. From what you shared, there is a better relationship with your grandparents and you would rather go to live with them. We can't really make a decision for you whether or not you should leave home. We also don't give advice here at NRS because we are non directive. You may want to consider the consequences though. If you leave your mom could file a runaway report and you could potentially be sent back home. Also, it's possible that you won't be able to stay there long term. So you would then have to think about what you would do once you do have to leave. If you need further help or assistance, feel free to chat or call us.

                                Best,
                                NRS
                                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                                National Runaway Safeline
                                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                                Comment

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