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  • ccsmod15
    replied
    Re: I wanna move in with grandparents but my dad won't let me!

    Hello,

    We are glad that you are reaching out to us, and we are here to help in any way that we can. We are sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds really difficult. You asked about the legality of leaving home and moving in with your grandparents. We are not legal experts so we can’t give you a definitive answer. But generally, the age of majority (the age where you are legally considered an adult) is 18. However, this does vary from state to state. Sex Etc. (http://sexetc.org/) does have information regarding the age of majority by state so you might find some of their info helpful. We also want to encourage you to call us, we can discuss what you options are and provide you with support. We are here 24 hours a day, and again, we are always here to help. Good luck!

    NRS

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I wanna move in with grandparents but my dad won't let me!

    I feel uncomfortable and treated unfairly at my dads house. I told him that I wanted to live with my grandparents but he won't let me and says if I do it's illegal and he'll report it. Is that right because I don't like my parents home and I feel more appreciated and treated better at my grandparents. My grandma says if I ever want to stay I can but you guys already know why I can't, is there anyway I can move in with grandparents legally?

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  • ccsmod15
    replied
    Re: Problems

    Hi,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like things are a bit difficult at home right now. You don’t deserve to be constantly yelled at and blamed for things. We’re sorry to hear that your mom won’t allow you to live with your grandma.

    You’re doing a great job at exploring other living options for yourself and it sounds like you may need help in continuing to explore options. You mentioned you don’t know anyone else that is related to you, so let’s explore some other options in addition to staying with grandma. Other housing options could include staying in a shelter or alternative living arrangement (ALA). If you call or chat with us, we could look up specific resources in your area and even help you call them.

    You also mentioned your mom will not allow you to stay with your grandma. Another option we offer, is a service of conference calling, where we could help you talk to your mom with us on the phone.

    Again, we’re really glad you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us on the National Runaway Safeline website. We’re here to listen, here to help.

    Stay strong,
    National Runaway Safeline

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  • ccsmod10
    replied
    RE: Please help me

    Hello There

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We thank you for sharing your story and commend you for your courage as this is not always an easy thing to do. It sounds like your strength has been tested having gone through many difficult times throughout your life. Your resiliency is impeccable. You mentioned having fought through some thoughts of ending your life and it is no small feat to have overcame this even once. You are a great and worthy person of a happy and healthy life. If you ever have those feelings again or just want to talk we are here! You can always call us at 1800-RUNAWAY or use of live chat. You can also get some additional support by calling the National Suicide Hotline at 1800-273-TALK. Sometimes reaching out to a listening ear from anyone including family, friends, teachers, etc can help cope with some of the things that you may be going through.
    You mentioned experiencing some unsafe situations with your step-mother and your father not exactly having your well-being in mind. It is great that you have found solace at/with your father’s father. If you ever fear for your life or safety, by all means, feel free to do what you feel is best to regain your safety. If that means reaching out to adults or friends to do so. An option that you could possibly consider is reporting your experiences with the authorities or to child protective services. This has the potential to assist with regaining your safety in various ways. You are not alone. We are here to discuss this option more with you, talk to cps together, or on your behalf. If you would like to report you can also call Child Help at 1800-422-4453.
    It sounds like the option that you are feeling is best right now is you living at your father’s father. Maybe this living arrangement is something that you can talk to him about or come to a compromise with your father. Typically, your father’s permission is needed to live elsewhere since 14 is under the age of what is considered to be an adult. Some other things that maybe could be useful to think about: How long do you anticipate being able to stay here? How will you support yourself or whom you will be staying with be willing to support you financially with food, clothing, other personal expenses/ allow you to stay rent free? What if things do not work out here in the future, what will be your back up plan? If you can give us a call we can try to find some youth shelters that may be in your area. We can also try to call out with you or on your behalf to advocate in finding shelter availability once you give us a call at 1800-RUNAWAY.

    Remember you are not alone! We are here 24/7

    Stay Strong and Stay Safe,
    NRS

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    problems

    I'm living with my mom and her boyfriend just moved in with us and ever since they started dating my mom has been yelling at me and then blames me for the stuff I didn't do like her and her boyfriend and I have been trying to stay at my grandma's house but my mom will not allow me and my grandma is the only person I know that's related to me

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Please help me

    Hi, I'm a fourteen year old male and I am in need of help. Let me explain my situation, my real mother wants nothing to do with me. I was abused by several family members so I do not see my real mother's side anymore.
    My sister was murdered by my brother in 2014 and we moved to another state in 2015.
    I live with my step mom, my dad, and four half siblings. I am the oldest. Now me and my step mother absolutely hate each other. She's said it so manytimes. In front of all my little siblings too. She has hit/clawed me several times and left scars on my arms, and face. Now I am a big guy, almost six foot and 195lbs and have never hit her. There have been many crazy screaming fights. My dad has tried but I don't think he wants to do anything about it. I was even suicidal because of her. One morning she woke me up, I did my dishes and took out the dog and went back to bed. She screamed at me and woke me up saying I needed to take the trash out. I got up and made a bowl of cereal and was gonna eat first before I took it out. She came up and screamed at me and I said "Why are you screaming at me?" She then got an inch from my face and screamed as loud as she could "THIS IS SCREAMING" I tensed up and clenched my fists and she said "Do you want me to smack you?" I said she would regret it. She asked if I wanted her to punch me in the face. I said she'll really regret that. She slapped me upside the head and I stood up. She then literally came swinging at me with balled fists, so all I did was grab her wrists and prevent her from hitting me. I did not hurt her at all.
    But this is the reason why I hate her with such a passion; while all I was doing was holding her wrists, not allowing her to sock me in the face, my 8 and 3 year old sister were screaming and crying for me to "quit hurting mommy" I pushed my mom back and she came back swinging at me. She screamed at me "C'MON ***! HIT ME DO IT!" And I said "No! You're my mom! I love you! Look what you're doing to your children!!!" And she screamed "I ***HATE YOU!" And from there I held her wrists and she was backed into a wall. She then kicked me quite hard in my privates... That's when I think she realized she went to far and she stopped. I kept sayin "What the is wrong with you!? You're crazy!!!" And stuff like that.
    She called my dad and she told him I was calling her a psycho and that I was trying to break her wrists. So when I got on the phone with my dad he was yelling and cussing at me and i started breaking down and crying because he wouldn't let me say what happened. I was then sent to my room for the rest of the day not being allowed to leave at all.
    This is what I have to deal with at home. This is why I cannot stay here anymore. I am writing from my step mom's moms house. That same night all that happened, there was an even bigger fight, and I will admit, I really lost my temper. She said she hated me but she loved my brother(the one that killed my sister) she said she would be happy if I was dead. So I said I would kill myslef and she said "good"
    She said she did not want me in this family and she told my dad "Honey, you have to make a decision, either he goes or I go." And he called my grandpa and he agreed to let me stay with my dad's dad on the weekends and my step mom's mom trough out the week. But only for two weeks. So this Friday I have to go back to her.
    But I don't want to. I've been so happy here. I want to live with my dad's dad. Its a place out in the country, and I can still go to highschool, and I can see my family at least once a month. I don't think they will agree with that. I'm not sure my grandpa will agree with that. But they seem so happy without me. I spoke to my mother today on the phone and asked her if she was happier. And she wouldn't answer.
    I feel if I go back I'm going to lose my mind. I can't do this anymore. I need help ASAP. Please I'm begging you to help me.. Thank you. I will be checking to see if anyone replies to my post.
    Last edited by ccsmod10; 06-29-2016, 11:57 PM.

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  • ccsmod16
    replied
    Re: I don't want to live with my parents anymore

    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear that you’re unhappy at home and hope that we can help out the best we can.

    It sounds like you have an incredibly great relationship with your grandparents which is great. We aren’t legal experts but we can try and help you understand what would need to happen in order for you to live with your grandparents legally. In order for you to live with your grandparents legally and without consequence, your parents would either have to provide consent for that to happen or custody/guardianship would have to be transferred over to your grandparents. In order for custody to be transferred to your grandparents, a case would have to be made for custody to be removed from your parents. This may mean getting involved with Child Protective Services and/or the courts. Often times, these processes can be long and exhaustive, and who guardianship is transferred to isn’t always in our control.

    Another option is to receive consent from your parents to live with your grandparents. Your parent(s) may give you permission to live with another family (i.e your grandparents), but without getting an official document from the court they would still be legally responsible for you. Which means that they can also take away that permission at any given moment and take you back home to live with them once again. So that can be an option for you if you feel like your parents might respond well to you living with you grandparents. We understand that this option may not sound like the most desirable option, but it could be helpful to understand how you can communicate your interest in living with your grandparents. Maybe talking to them about how living with them helps improve other aspects of your life could be an option. Another is seeing if your grandparents could also talk to your parents with you as well.

    We know that these things are tough and can be frustrating when there are so many barriers keeping us from living where we feel most comfortable, but we hope that some of this was helpful. If you’d like to explore more options or simply just talk more, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1(800)RUNAWAY. Our lines are always open 24/7.

    We hope that you take care.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I don't want to live with my parents anymore

    I live in West Virginia with my mom and stepdad but I used to live in Kentucky with both of them but also my grandparents. My parents treat me like I'm not their child I get grounded for not putting a toilet role back In the slot when it's empty, I just love being around my grandparents more then my parents because my grandparents actually listen to what I have to say and they understand it better. When I lived in KY with my grandparents I had all A's and B's but I still have them but I'm really struggling in some of the topics especially math but I try so hard but my parents don't help me but they expect me to make A's and B's and if I don't they ground me. I just don't want to live with my parents anymore is their anyway I can live with my grandparents instead?? I know I will be much much happier!!!!!
    Is their any advice?????

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    RE:i want to move in with my mawmaw

    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out. We are so sorry to hear that you have been feeling depressed. That sounds very difficult and painful. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. It sounds like you are worried about telling your mom that you want to live with your mawmaw. It sounds like that might be a difficult conversation and you are concerned about your mother's feelings. That sounds tough. Some people find it easier to have hard conversations when they have prepared by writing down what they want to say. You know your mom the best, so you can wait for a time she can give her attention to the conversation without feeling distracted. If you have any questions, you can always reach out to us to talk through the situation and come up with options. We can talk about what makes you want to move out and help you come up with a plan to deal with your situation and stay safe. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i want to move in with my mawmaw

    lately ive been feeling really down and depressed because i cant seem to tell my mom that i want to live with my mawmaw(my grandma). how do i tell her without hurting her feelings.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    RE: i am 15 and i want to move in with my grandfather

    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you are in a very difficult situation. We are sorry to hear that you feel you are treated unfairly by your parents. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. Since you are under the age of 18, if you leave home without permission from your parents, you could be considered a runaway. This means that your parent could call the police, who might force you to return home. Running away is not a crime, however anyone who allows you to stay with them could risk criminal charges for harboring a runaway. Your parents could press charges against your grandfather for letting you stay with him without their permission. If you have any questions or you need help talking through all your options and making a plan to deal with your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and we wish you the best of luck.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    i am 15 and i want to move in with my grandfather

    My parents treat me unfair. I am15 and i just want to live with my grandfather. Can you help me on want to do

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  • ccsmod8
    replied
    RE: I want to live with my grandparents.

    Hello there –

    Thank you for getting into touch with us here at the National Runaway Safeline. We are glad that you were able to reach out to us on our public forum. It’s very brave of you to do so. After reading through your post, it sounds like you have been having a really hard time living with your mother at home and you really wish that you could just go live with your grandparents. No one deserves to be treated badly at home. Now we aren’t legal experts here so it’s hard for us to answer your question with a direct answer. There are parts of the court system that we don’t understand ourselves. If your mother has custody over you, it is to our understanding that in order for you to go live with someone else she would have to go to family court and relinquish guardianship over you and you grandparents would have to petition to take you in.

    Now have you ever talked to your mother and/or father about all these feelings and emotions that you have been feeling lately, especially about running away to live with your grandparents? We can surely try to help you with that communication with you and your mother. We offer a service that is basically a Conference Call where your mother, yourself, and us would be on the phone talking about what has been going on. This way there can be a mediator in between keeping things calm and productive. That might be something we can all talk about together because she might not even be aware of what is going on or how it is effecting you. How do you feel about that?

    If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We would love to talk to you about what has been going on recently that is making you want to leave home. We also have an online chat service available every day.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I want to live with my grandparents.

    I am 11 yrs old about to be 12 and my parents got split apart when I was a baby and I lived with my mom and she treated me badly and she still does and I just can't take this anymore so I want to figure out when I can go to court and get filed to live with my grandparents and how to do it!!

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    replied
    Re: I cant soldier on anymore

    Thanks for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It is a great first step to finding the help and information that you may need. It sounds like you are going through a lot at being at home with your mother or it’s not what you would like it to be. You are so strong for having gone through so much already with being with your step-mother and with your mother. It sounds like you have a great support system and relationship with your father. If going to stay with your father or another family member is an option, maybe having both parents come to a compromise to do so. Somethings to think about is the possibility that you will be unhappy or things will not be as you would expect them to be when you go to live with your father/or other family member, in this event what will be your plan b?

    If the problems at your current home make you feel unsafe, please by all means do what you feel is necessary to reclaim your safety. If this means notifying the authorities, reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, and teacher for support can all be great options. If you are considering leaving home, it is not illegal to so. We are not legal experts here, but typically being under the age of what your state considers to an adult (usually 18 ), you would need permission from your parents to leave. It is not illegal to run away or leave home without permission, but it would mean that your parents could file a runaway report. The police would then be required to return you home.

    If you feel like you would like to talk more we are always here to support you at 1800-RUNAWAY.
    Best Wishes,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:

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