I want to live with my grandparents.

[Guest]

Hey
I really don't want to live with my parents anymore they get on my last nerves and my grandparents just treat me better they listen when i talk to them and they always hear my side of the story which my parents do not do i want to go with my grandma because she is into church so i think her house it a way better environment for me my parents household is so toxic but i don't think they will give me permission to live with my grandma. Any advice

[ccsmod6]

Hey there! Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like the situation is rather uncomfortable with your parents. It’s good that you do have a set of adults that you feel comfortable talking with and being with, like your grandparents. We would love to be able to help you figure out what your options are, or just hear you out for a little bit. Reach out to us at 1 (800) Runaway or you can connect with a crisis counselor through our chat online at 1800runaway.org.

[Guest]

I am a 14 yr male.. my mom passed away when I was 8.. I lived with my grandma after for 1 year.. them I decided to move with my dad because I missed him... 4 months ago, he started become an alcoholic..... he starts calling me names for no reason. I really need to move back to my grandma’s house again.. any advice?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
It seems like you are wondering if you can go back to living with your grandma, this is likely a possible solution, especially if your grandma still maintains guardianship or custodial rights over you in some way. Otherwise she might need to go to court to try and show she is a better custodial parent to you than your dad due to his alcohol abuse. You might also consider reporting the emotional abuse to child/family services, although emotional abuse can be harder to prove. Since you have a biological family member who may be willing to take you in they might place you with her at least in the short term. You can go to www.childhelp.org for more information about abuse reporting.
We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

My Dad has given me a pretty good life, but ever since my Dad has started dating things have been pretty tense. His girlfriend is only nice to my Dad and my sister, so they think I am making things up, and whenever I talk to him about moving in with my Grandma, he says this is my home and where I belong. I know, though, that it would be better for both me and my Dad if I moved in with her. I have thought of running away, but I am afraid that I wouldn't be able to survive on the streets, so this was my backup plan.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,

Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time and we want you to know that you are not alone.

It is unfair that your dad’s new girlfriend is not nice to you, one option to consider would be talking to her about how this is affecting you. Also it may help to provide her with examples of how she treats you differently, so she would know what things to change. You can also consider talking with a school counselor about what is going on at home, they would be able to help provide you with support.

We are not legal experts but we do have some information on what could happen if you were to leave. If you were to leave without permission your legal guardian could file a runaway report. It is a possibility that you can be brought back home. You could always talk to your grandparents and maybe they can talk to your dad about you living there.

We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here for you 24/7, we wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

Im almost 16. And dont want to live with my parents. I want to move out. They are emotionally abusive. And i cant take it anymore. Do i have to have there consent to move out

[ccsmod15]

HI there,

Thanks for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what's going on at home. We are sorry to hear that your parents are emotionally abusive. That's wrong and it's certainly not your fault. If you want to make an abuse report on what's going on that is your right. Usually CPS will attempt to help the situation through other means before removing an abused youth from the home, but we cannot say for sure what exactly would happen if you reported. If you decide to report you can do that through us or through www.childhelp.org (1-800-422-4453).

To answer your question about consent very directly: if you leave home before 18 without your parent's permission they have the right to file a runaway report on you and anyone you stay with could be accused of harboring a runaway. So it definitely is a tricky matter that could end up with some legal ramifications. Just so you know, there typically are three ways a youth can move out before turning 18. These are: 1) with their parent's permission, 2) after filing an abuse report and Child Protective Services determines you are unsafe at home, 3) going through the court system to be granted emancipation. The last option usually involves proving to a judge that you are able to take care of your physical and emotional needs and are capable of being independent.

We'd like to discuss this matter further with you and help you explore all your options. The best way we can do that is if you call our 24 hour confidential hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also chat with us via the chat button found at the top of our website: www.1800runaway.org. We are here to listen, here to help. Hope to hear from you soon!

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

PLEASE HELP ASAP. I live in Pennsylvania. I'm 15, turning 16 on 7/31/21. I have a boyfriend whos a "legal adult" and we agreed to be intimate till I'm 16 so that there is no illegal stuff going on. My STEPDAD is going ballistic and tried calling the cops on him. He said if we have any form of contact he will call the cops, and file a report/lawsuit. He doesn't like my boyfriend in any way shape or form and refuses to meet him even though my mom and grandmother have met him and enjoy him very much. What the hell do I do? I want to go live with my grandmother or something, just get away from him. Living with her would ruin a lot of things for me but I can't stand him for another minute. He's tried to control every aspect of my life and blames his failed marriage on me. Please. HELP.

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your dad not liking your boyfriend. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. For example, your grandmother could help talk with your dad about allowing you to stay with her temporarily. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

i am 12 and i want to live with my grandparents because i am tired of the way they treat me my dad calling me a girl and my grandparents they just treat me better and i think i would do better over there
---
I want to move back with my grandparents but I don't think they will approve and my mom and dad never her my side of the story.

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thank you for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you are going through something really hard at home with your dad calling you a girl and not being able to tell your side of the story. It was really brave for you to reach out to us.
We would like to talk with you more about your situation and support you in what you are going through. You can chat us through this website or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24/7
We truly hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

confused & tired...

to start off: i love my mom. unfortunately, she can just barely take care of me financially and physically since she's disabled, and our relationship has become strained because we resent each other. we just got into a fight and she's trying to find me a different place to live because she's "over my disrespectful sh**". i'm 17 years old (18 in February) and want to visit my grandparents over the summer so we can both have a break, but she won't let me. my father has visitation rights but he hasn't used them since he's a deadbeat parent (not to mention physically, verbally, and mentally abusive). my only option is foster care but i'd like to avoid that, if possible.
i've tried for two years to find a way to get through to her but i just don't think she loves me anymore. i've tried talking to her for a long time, but running away and coming back seems to be the only way she'll listen to me, and then after that nothing ever changes. this honestly just makes me want to die. can you provide me with some options?

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe and stay strong,
NRS

[Guest]

Can I live with my grandparents they are so much nicer and my sister keeps getting me in trouble by making me mad and I think I have anger issues so whenever I'm mad I spoke to break things and I broke something today and my mom started yelling at me and then I asked her if I could live with my grandparents and she didn't say anything so I just really want to live with my grandparents

[ccsmod15]

Hello there,
Thanks for reaching out to NRS! We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what is going on. If you are under the age of 18, in most states, you are considered a minor and would need parental permission to live elsewhere. If you do not have parental permission the police could get involved and make you go back home if your legal guardian wanted. If you would like to talk in more detail you can best reach us via phone or our live chat as we can only respond to forums twice. Our phone number is 1800-RUNAWAY and you can find our live chat at www.1800runaway.org.
Hope to hear from you soon.
NRS

[Guest]

I want to live with my grandmother instead of my mom I don't want to live with her because she not financially stable and she's living with other people....and she threaten to bust my lip and said she going to keep me stranded once I move and she want to come get me do I have to go? I can just go move with my grandmother

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by forum to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

can i move in with my grandparents without my parents concent at the age of 12

[ccsmod15]

Hi! Thank you for reaching out to NRS!

Usually, if you would want to live with your grandparents at the age of 12, it would be best to get your parents to agree to it before moving over with them. If you move in with them without getting your parents’ consent, they could force you to come back home and you would have to follow their wishes. In situations like these, it might be best to get your parents’ consent and have that in writing if you can. This way, you can avoid any issues down the road if your parents decide to change their minds.

Hopefully this response helped, and good luck with everything! Please feel free to reach out to NRS through chat at 1800runaway.org or call us at 1-800-786-2929 if you have any other questions for us. We are always here to listen and to support you.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

I can’t stand living here with my parents all they do is make me watch my sisters while they do whatever they want and I never get to have my phone while home

[ccsmod16]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like things are really stressful for you at home since you have to watch your sisters a lot and aren't allowed you phone at home.
We work best when we can have a conversation about what you are going through and we hope that you will reach out to our live services.
You can chat us through this website or call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We truly hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 14 and I live in Michigan. I live with my mom and my stepdad. My dad passed away when I was 9, and after that all hell broke loose. My stepdad was in my life before my dad died, but I never liked him. He has swore at me, and he makes me feel like trash. Anytime I bring it up to my mom, she does nothing. I would like to live with my dad's parents. They have an extra bedroom and have said that I could live with them before. I am depressed and I act like I am not. I haven't asked my mom about it yet because I feel like she will yell at me. She is still my mom but I just dont want to live in this house anymore. I have put up with my stepdad for so many years but I cant anymore. My grandparents make me feel wanted and not like a burden. I think moving in with them would be the best thing for me. I believe my mom will be most concerned about how she looks to other people. Because my full blood sister and my half blood little brother live here. Please help, I dont know if I should even ask her, or just forget about ever getting out of here

[ccsmod6]

Thanks so much for writing in and sharing a bit about your situation. It sounds like living with your step-dad has been really difficult. We’re sorry to hear that your mom hasn’t supported you when you’ve needed her to. Your grandparents seem like a wonderful support for you.
Have you told your grandparents about everything that’s going on at home? It sounds like they care a great deal about you- they may want to know that your step-dad has been treating you poorly and that you’re experiencing depression. If you explain the situation to them they might even be able to help you approach your mother to ask about moving out. With your grandparents helping to advocate for you, your mother might be more likely to agree- or at least less likely to yell at you.
You mentioned that you’ve been experiencing depression. We understand that this situation has been incredibly emotionally taxing. Your mental health is important to us. If you feel that you need emotional support throughout this process, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, or NAMI, may be of help. You can visit their website at https://nami.org/ or reach out to their helpline at 800-950-6264. You can also text "NAMI" to 741741 for support.
If you ever feel unsafe in your home, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or emergency services. If you feel that you’re experiencing abuse, you can also file an abuse report. If you’d like to talk more about this option, feel free to reach out to us by phone or by live chat. Reaching out to Child Help USA, an organization dedicated to helping minors facing abuse, might also be helpful. You can reach them at 1-800-422-4453 or visit their website at www.childhelp.org.
In the end, we cannot tell you what to do. You know your situation best. However, if you’d like to talk through your options in greater detail, feel free to reach out. We can best assist you over phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat at www.1800runaway.org. We’re here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You do not have to be alone in this.
All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

Hi, i am the 14 year old from Michigan again. my grandparents do know that my stepdad is mean to me because I have told them about what he says and does my whole life. I feel like my mom will feel like she failed and she will be concerned about how it looks from the outside if I ask. Is asking to move out a good choice to make? (the last person who replied to me was ccsmod6)

[ccsmod16]

Hi, It sounds like your situation with your stepdad is really hard for sure. We can see that you took the advice from your first forum post and came to our live chat. We are glad that you did.

In the chat we suggested several ways to possibly address asking your mom about living with your grandparents. Writing to her; asking your grandparents to ask on your behalf; asking your sibling for support while you ask; asking to stay weekends and school breaks with them. Or even your mom's suggestion of a therapist to help you cope with this seemed to be something she has or might offer. That is also an option to consider.

What neither we, nor anyone else in the entire world can do is answer whether this is a good choice to ask her. No one else can possibly know the answer to that. It is perfectly human to know how any situation will turn out, but it is not possible for us or anyone else to know for sure. All through our lives, we face situations where we don't know what the answer will be. Talking with people we trust about it and assessing the people involved and the information we have is the best we can do in making a decision.

You are welcome to chat again and discuss these options more, but we will not be able to tell you whether it is a good choice or not.

We do wish you the best of luck.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

I can’t do nothing at home and they don’t let me be on my phone when I want to and mom is barley home she is always at work and I get anything I want living at home but I want to live with my grandma because I don’t like living at home because
I just get in trouble for being on my phone and my parents always do the most over a phone so I just want to leave

[ccsmod6]

Thank you for reaching out to us! It is not easy to seek help and you show a lot of initiative and maturity by contacting us. It is frustrating when as we get older our parents restrict our independence. We cannot imagine what your home environment must be like and would love to talk about what kind of environment best fits your personal needs and what resources we can offer. We will try to address your concerns, but it is difficult to do in a forum and do encourage you to reach out via live chat at www.1800runaway.org or phone at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are available 24/7!

From your post, it sounds like you are unhappy living with your parents and are interested in living with your grandma. While it is easy to just leave situations that we do not like, talking to your parents could help identify why they treat you this way and if things could improve. We offer conference calls to help young adults talk with their parents in a meaningful and constructive manner (you would just need to call us and we can talk about how that might work). You may also think about talking with your grandma about living with her and how that may look. She could even help advocate for the change to your parents. It is always helpful to have support when talking about and making these types of decisions.

If you find yourself needing to leave home even for just a night to get some breathing room, you can always reach out to us and we can search for shelters in your area for you to stay. Or you can contact National Safe Place at www.nationalsafeplace.org or text SAFE and your current location to 4HELP (44357). And if you ever feel like you are in danger do not hesitate to call 911 and remove yourself from the situation, if possible. Thanks for contacting us and we hope to talk to you via chat or phone soon!

National Runaway Safeline

We are here to listen. Here to help.

[Guest]

My Dad and step mom are starting to think I don't like them I haven't told them that I want to live with my grandparents because I'm afraid that they will take me away from them and I'll never see them again. I am 14 years old and my step mom has done some terrible things I used to go between my biological mom and dad because they got a divorce now my dad has full custody of me and I thought things were going to be okay from then on but then my step mom cheated and the next day my Dad forgave her they talked it over my brother did not forgive her I didn't know what to think it happened a couple years ago and I don't feel love or hate towards my step mom but she keeps bossing me around she won't do that to my older brother though they have gotten into serious arguments and it mainly consists of her trying to beat up my brother it's happened at least three times now all I feel is a little bit of hate towards her but I fake that I love her just for my dad's sake but know I want to get away from it all right now I'm living with my grandparents because our new house we moved in to is way to far away from the school I go to because I didn't want to transfer but I want to live with my grandparents like they have full custody over me and I live with them until I turn 18 what can I do?

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like there have been some ongoing issues with your stepmom and you are feeling a bit unsure how you feel about her. This is understandable given the way that she cheated on your dad and that she hits your brother, this is not okay. It also sounds like you don’t like it when your stepmom bosses you around. It could be helpful to try and have a conversation with your dad about this and how you feel with the way you are being treated. You also mentioned that you want to live with your grandparents full time and are currently living with them during the week. It would be important to discuss this with them to see if they can and are willing to do this and get guardianship of you. This can also be something to bring up to your dad as well and if that might be harder for you, even asking your grandparents if they can help with that conversation. Ultimately, your grandparents would need to get guardianship of you and we can provide legal aid resources for that if you are interested.
We want to help as best as we can so if you would like to talk through this more or discuss other possible options, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS