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  • Reply: Visitation rights with grandma


    Hi,
    Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

    It sounds like you are in a tough situation and may be looking for some options to help cope with everything.
    We understand how difficult it must have been to speak about what you have been feeling since the passing of your mother. We pass on our condolences to you.
    You are very brave for doing so. Good for you.

    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    It sounds like you are unhappy living with you father and extended family.
    We understand how hard of a transition this has been for you. It sounds like you would love to live with your grandmother, someone you are close to.
    Sometimes having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

    NRS would like you to know we are here to support you at this difficult time.

    Let us know how we might help, please contact us at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) orwww.1800Runaway.org (live chat).


    Take care,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • I'm 15 years old, and I can't stand my parents! My mother frequently starts fights with me, plays the victim when I call her out for it, then everything explodes. We both say things we don't mean, but I can't control it very well. She can't either. She also slaps me across the face, grabs my shoulders and throws me into a wall, etc. She is a very abusive person. To add insult to injury, my dad always takes her side, even when he knows what she does is wrong. I can't stand my mother, and I find myself fuming over my father more often than not. My grandparents love and respect me, and I want to live with them more than anything. But my parents will NEVER let me go. They claim my grandparents "don't know me", and it would be "unfair" to give me to them. If I don't get out of my house, I am going to DIE. I also can't go out with or have my friends over. EVER. Please help!!

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,
        Thanks for contacting us. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot of stress and abuse with your family situation. It is really important and brave of you to reach out.
        Your mother’s abusive behavior is not okay. You deserve to live in a home where you are safe and supported. If you haven’t yet, you may want to consider filing an abuse report by calling Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. This would put the abuse on file with the courts and that information would be considered for any custody or living situations in the future.
        You also mentioned that if you don’t get out of your house, you are going to die. Your life is important and if you are considering suicide at any point, please consider calling us or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
        You said you’d really like to live with your grandparents but your parents wouldn’t allow it. Have you considered finding someone who could mediate a conversation with your parents about this? This could be a relative or family friend who would listen to your concerns and your parents’ concerns and help you talk to each other and maybe come to a compromise. If you don’t know of someone who might be willing to mediate for you, we offer a conference call service where we can take on that role. Sometimes compromise is more possible than it seems.
        It also sounds like the day-to-day struggle of living in that environment is wearing on you. If you ever need someone to talk to, please don’t hesitate to call us any time, day or night, at 1-800-RUNAWAY or contact us online at 1800runaway.org. We are here to listen, here to help.

    • I am a thirteen year old girl who has been diagnosed with OCD and Anxiety. I also have some type of depression feelings, but its not diagnosed.

      My parents are being kinda abusive towards me. My mom wants best for me but alot of times things get out of hand and I end up hurting myself with my own fist. She alot of the time said "god***n you" and "god****it" and other things like "are you f******g kidding me"
      My dad doesn't really understand what I have and my compulsions or even know how to handle them very well. Sometimes he calls me names, he has thrown me into a chair before and yelled and pushed my hands onto the chair and he yelled at me to calm down. He threatened me once to slam my head into the wall. ( the memory of what my dad said is blurry in some parts) Dad: "If I hear one more bang, on the wall, the table, or the ********ing floor i will bash your head into the wall." Me and my mom talked for hours about that and just had a long conversation


      That happened like a month or two ago.

      About 4 weeks ago I threw a bottle into the wall out of stress and frustration and sadness, which put a hole in the wall.

      I currently hit myself sometimes with my own fists.

      I want to move out of the house or just get out of the house somehow
      just get away from this

      I want to live with my Grandma because she has never made me feel bad or hurt me

      i have told my psychologist about this but i dont want my parents to go to jail or get in trouble

      my psychologist hasnt done much yet and things have been getting worse
      dont get me wrong my psychologist is very helpful i havent seen her in a while so i havent been getting much help
      I would really appreciate if someone on this website which i just discovered would give me some advice

      Thank you in advance

      (Im not sure if I posted one already and I apologize if I did it was not intentional)
      (I refreshed the page because the CAPTCHA was not loading properly and I may have posted via that by accident)

      Comment


      • ccsmod9
        ccsmod9 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
        If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe,
        NRS

    • my mom and i have a really bad relationship and in april, she let me move out and live with my grandparents for a couple of months. well now that i’ve been at my grandparents. i feel SO much happier. i really feel loved for once. but now she wants me back. and she’s threatened to move me to a different school and not let me see my friends (basically taking away my happiness). i’ll be 15 in 3 months but i have a feeling that i still can’t do anything legal to fix this situation. all i know is that i can’t go back.

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi There,
        Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, it takes courage to reach out and we are glad that you gathered the courage to reach out to us. It sounds like you are going through a difficult situation. We are glad that you feel happy at your grandparent’s house, and it is unfortunate that your mother is trying to make you come back. We are not legal experts but in most states the legal age to leave home is 18 years old. Because you are a minor if you did not go back to your moms she could file a runaway report. Because she allowed you to stay at your grandparents and she knows where you are at they may not take the runaway report. To find out if they would take a runaway report you could consider calling the non-emergency police department and ask them. You could also look into the emancipation process in your state and see if you would qualify. Another thing you could consider is coming up with a compromise, maybe going to your mother’s house once a week or something like that. We hope this information was helpful in your situation. If you have any more questions or would like to talk more please feel free to call or chat with us, we are here 24/7. Best of luck !
        NRS

    • Hi
      i live with my mom and my stepdad. I dont feel good emotionally with them. They think ive lost my virginity with my boyfriend and the think wrong of me. Everyday i just feel like leaving and i want to live with my grandma. I already talked to her and i dont know how i can keep going with all this drama at home. Ive had a social worker come to my house because i talked to my counsler and told her i was cutting myself because i just dont feel good in that house anymore. And everytime they come my parents somehow get them on their side by sayin i just want attention. I dont though i just dont want to live with my mom anymore. Ive been in foster care before, my parents say that what goes on at home stays at home. They threaten me by saying that their going to send me to mexico. Im scared cuz they did it to my sister. They dont know that i already talked to DHHS and told them what was going on. The main problem is my stepdad. My mom has "left" him like 4 times already and every time she does we just go back to the same old story. She always goes back to him. Its like he somehow was her wrapped around his finger. And everytime she says were leaving for good i dont take it seriously cuz we just go back. And im taking a risk right now talking to someone about whats going on because i dont know if they find out what theyre going to do. Send me to Mexico or something. The social worker keeps on telling me to get along with them. What she doesnt understand that i just cant. Its gotten to the point were i just cant take it anymore. I just need help. I know that you probably get a lot of situations like this. And i know theres a lot of kids/ teens who dont want to live with their parents cuz they get to the point were they just cant take it anymore. I'd appreciate if somehow you can tell me what i can do.
      Thank you and please help
      Last edited by ccsmod0; 12-17-2018, 04:54 PM.

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,
        Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It is understandable that you would want to leave a place where you are not emotionally supported. You mentioned your grandmother’s house as being less dramatic a place that you feel safe in. It could be worth discussing with your grandmother, ways that you can get your parents on board with letting you live there.
        We imagine it to be difficult to have made reports with CPS and not have them believe you. We want you to know that we believe you and will do whatever’s in our power to help. Perhaps you can consider using our conference calling service, this is a service where you would call us and we would hold a conference call between you and your parents to talk about how both sides are feeling. We would serve as mediators, we are not here to necessarily choose sides but rather help come up with a solution that would make the situation at home better. This might be helpful to you if you have concerns about your parents not listening or not being open to hear what you have to say. If you feel like this is a service that you would find useful you can give us a call and one of our trained liner will be happy to assist you.
        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
        If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
        We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe,
        NRS

    • My mom treats me horably me and my sister she acts like she has no responsibility and don’t only wants authority over me I want to live with my grandparents but she won’t let me bc they treat me better than she does and I live in a camper we’re im pretty sure she is ether doing pills or dope she doesn’t starve us but she doesn’t know how to parent my brother is grown and hates her she signed my other little sisters rights over and I only have my sister I hate her my mother I don’t wanna be with her she treats me like a slave

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. No one should be treated like a "slave," and you deserve to be treated with basic human dignity.

        It sounds like you are unhappy at home and want to live with your grandparents. Just to let you know, we are not legal experts. But it is not against the law for you to run away from home without your mom’s permission. In most places it’s considered a ‘status offence’. However, anyone you would be caught staying with could possibly be charged with ‘harboring a runaway’ if your legal guardian decides to press charges against your grandparents. You also might want to consider contacting the police or telling someone at school about the drug use going on at home if it is making you feel unsafe. You can always contact Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 if you are needing help making the report.

        Here at the National Runaway Safeline, we encourage you to be safe and reach out to us at any time.

        -NRS

    • I get treated like ******** by my parents I wanna go live with my grandpa

      Comment


      • Reply: I get treated like....

        Hello,
        Thank you for writing to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

        We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We would like to be of assistance to you if we can. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
        We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Take care,
        NRS

        We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us

        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • hey
          so i need some advice on what i should do? From when my mom was pregnant with me she has been on drugs. I got put into foster care when i was eight because my dad didn't want me and my mom went to jail for the fourth time. I am now 16 living with my dad and i hate it he came back when i was 12 and he treats me like complete ******** and doesn't care about me and has even said it to my face, i have my grandparents who i love and raised me when my parents weren't there. my step mom and dad have said go live with them "less work for them", i am just confused if i should go live with my grandparents and how do i legally do that?

          Comment


          • ccsmod7
            ccsmod7 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there, thanks for reaching out today.

            Sounds like you have been through so much for a long time with your parents and you are wondering if you can legally live with your grandparents with your dad's consent. We are not legal experts, but we can answer your question generally. Yes, you can live anywhere safe with your dad's permission. That's great that your parents are so supportive and that you have permission to stay with them. You so deserve to live in a place where you are treated with respect and you have the opportunity to thrive. If your grandparents need help enrolling you in school or healthcare, your dad can give them temporary guardianship of you. Again we aren't legal experts, but that generally looks like having both parties sign a temporary guardianship agreement form and having it notarized.

            We hope this information was helpful. Please know that we are always here for you if you would like to talk through your situation. You can chat us at www.1800runaway.org; 1-800-RUNAWAY anytime.

            Best,

            NRS

        • i need help

          i am 15 years old and i was in one little city for most of my life with my four siblings and my mom then three years ago i moved in with my mom and her boyfriend and i have been miserable ever since. i just got taken out of public school to do online school so i hate it i have nobody and now i only live with one other sibling but he is always at work so i cant really talk to him. i am really suicidal and i cut i am depresses living in this house. Ive been thinking a lot lately and i want to move in with my grandparents. i did some research and found out that since I'm only 15 i need my moms consent but i dont know how to get it. i know for a fact that my mom doesn't care about me from her actions and im just done. can you help me find a way to get her consent. before i kill myself

          Comment


          • ccsmod5
            ccsmod5 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on at home. We are here to listen and support you the best we can. It sounds like you’re unhappy in your current living situation and that has led to a very stressful and emotional experience for you. You mentioned you recently switched to online schooling and it sounds like the lack of social interaction is making you feel very alone and isolated.

            We understand how a situation like this might make you feel depressed. You mentioned that you harm yourself and are thinking about suicide. Have you shared this with anyone else? We’d like to pass along the National Suicide Hotline at (800) 273 TALK (8255). This is a hotline that you can call at any time, where trained counselors are ready to speak with you and help you through whatever you are thinking/feeling. They also have a chat option available if you prefer to talk online, www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

            You shared that you have been considering moving in with your grandparents and as you are a minor, you would need parental consent to do so. Have you talked to your mom about wanting to make this move? If you need help talking to your mom, we have a conference calling service where we can mediate a call between the two of you and help you have a respectful and constructive conversation.

            You deserve to be happy and safe. Sometimes the challenges in life make it hard to see a future but your life is valuable, and there is always someone out there who cares and is willing to listen and support you. If you would like to chat more about your situation or need help having a conversation with mom, please do not hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are here 24/7 to assist you. If you should start to have thoughts of suicide please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

            You did a courageous thing by reaching out today. Good for you.

            Be safe and take care,
            NRS

        • I'm 13 and I live in Missouri. I live with my dad and stepmom honestly, I can't take it anymore and my mental health just keeps getting worse. I'm only allowed to see my mom every other weekend supervised (by my grandparents). My grandparents have been like parents to me since I was born and they are very responsible. Is there a way I could legally live with them?

          Comment


          • ccsmod1
            ccsmod1 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hey there,

            Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It sounds like there’s a lot of tension in your home which is affecting your mental health. It must be really hard to not see your mom as often as you’d like. It sounds like there might be some custody issues at play which is affecting where you can/can’t live. It might be worthwhile to talk to your dad, mom, and grandparents about your desire to live with your grandparents to see if arrangements can be made.

            If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

            All the best,
            NRS

        • So, I want to be able to live with my grandparents in New York and I live in NC which is twelve hours away. My parents would never agree but I live with my step mom and dad, I don’t ever get the emotional support a teen should need and I just want to move away, I love my parents but if we didn’t live under the same roof I’d like them a whole lot more. I just think moving is the best idea but I’m not sure how to bring it up to them.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello There,
            Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway Safeline we are here to help and here to listen. We understand that it is difficult not to get the emotional support you need or that you want, that is a frustrating situation. We are not legal experts but we will do our best to help. If you were to leave without permission your parent’s could file a runaway report. If the police found you they would most likely bring you home. You mentioned you are not sure how to bring up living with your grandparents to your mom and dad. At NRS we offer conference calling where if you call us we can call out to your parents and have a conference call. Conference calling lets you be heard and we are there to provide support and mediate the conversation. Another option could be to write down what you would like to say to them before having the conversation and when you do decide to talk do it when everyone is calm.
            We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you would like to talk more or explore more options we are here. You can also call us and practice having the conversation with us before talking to your parents. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support to you. We wish you the best of luck in your situation.
            NRS

        • I’m 13 and I live with my parents. And honestly I can’t take their crap anymore! They pretty much always fight and my dad is a total a**hole to my mom and when I’ve talked to her about it she just says that I have to deal with it. And I wouldn’t mind living with my mom ALONE but with my dad I can’t deal it. So I want to live with my g

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            You mentioned wanting to know how you can leave home before turning 18. The easiest way to leave home is with your parent’s permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.

            Please reach out soon so that we may offer support and resources to you. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

            Be safe,

            NRS

        • Im 14 i dont like the way my parents are treating me/have been treating me and i just want to move in with another family member but my parents wont let me move with them any advice?

          Comment


          • ccsmod5
            ccsmod5 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,
            Thank you for your message. It sounds like you’re having a difficult time at home and it took a lot of courage to reach out for support. You wrote that you don’t like the way your family has been treating you; we’re uncertain of the details, but if you are being harmed or abused, you can always file an abuse report with child protective services. For more information about what that might look like, you can call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. If you want to live elsewhere, you would need parental consent since you are a minor. If you leave without permission, your parents would have the right to file a runaway report with your local police and if the police are able to find you they may return you home. If you’d like to speak more specifically about your situation, please feel free to reach out to us any time at 1-800-786-2929. We hope to hear from you. Sincerely,
            NRS

        • I'm turning 16 in a few months and my mom and grandmother want to move to Washington but I want to move in with my grandpa who is in sc....I don't feel very connected with my mom and grandma like I do with my grandpa, plus he always understands me and he always has since I was a baby....I honestly feel I would do better living with him academically wise as well because he would be able to help me with school work more than the rest of my family can.
          I don't want to get emancipated either because it would break my mom and grandmas hearts so I want to try to avoid that

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello There,
            Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listn. It sounds like you are going through a difficult situation right now and we hope that we will be able to help out a bit. We are glad you have a grandfather you care about and who seems like they are understanding and supportive.
            We are not legal experts but we do have general knowledge of the laws. If you were to leave home without permission your legal guardian does have the right to file a runaway report. If the police were to find you they would most likely bring you home. One option to consider that we offer here is conference calling, where if you call us we can call out to your parents. Conference calling allows you to be heard and we are there to mediate the conversation and provide support. Another option is to write things down before talking to your mother and grandma that way you do not leave anything important out.
            We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. Best of luck!
            NRS
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