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  • Hi i am 15 years old i have been staying with my grandparent for 2 years and my mom who neglects me and hits me wants me to live with her to take care of a 11 and 12 year old but i dont want to live with her because i am scared of her because she get mad at me if i make a mistake or dont do something righ and she gets mad at me and sometimes hits

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear that your mom hits you. Abuse is never okay and you don't deserve to be treated that way. You have the right to report the abuse. If you feel as though you are in danger, we encourage you to contact 911. Child help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource to explore your options and find out information on how to transfer custody. You could also contact Child Protective Services and let them know that you don't feel safe living with your mother. If you have any other questions or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.


      We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

      Be Safe,
      NRS

  • Im 14 about to be 15 , i hate how my parents and sister treat me , i always feel like the are talking bad about me whitch when they think im not listing they will talk bad about me but i hear them , i feel like im not wanted here , when my mom and step dad get in fights or argue they will yell at me and threaten me or when something goes missing they blame it on me and threaten me , i have cut myself and wanted to kill myself befor , it has been going in for years know and i just can't take it anymore , when ever i get home from school i get yelled at and called names , and it upsets me but if i cry i get yelled at , i want to live with my grandparents because i know they love me and i love it there they are nice to me , i want to go live with them but my parents won't let me , do i have any say so in who i live with ?

    Comment


    • ccsmod10
      ccsmod10 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for reaching out for support. This sounds like a really difficult time at home. You made a courageous step by reaching out to us for help. I’m sorry you are feeling this way with your family, no one deserves to feel like this in their home. It must be hurtful to always feel like you’re the scapegoat of the family.

      If you feel like you are going to harm yourself again, we suggest you reach out to a trusted adult or friend. You are not alone in this. There is also a resource that can help you with the feelings of self-harm, called “To Write Love On Her Arms,” and they can be reached at twloha.com.

      I understand it can be difficult to discuss your feelings with your parents and feel like you have been heard. We encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult, teacher, relative, or friend that you can talk to and potentially help you mediate a conversation with your parents about your current situation. At NRS, we do offer a service called conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your guardian and help advocate for you, and help you express your needs to your parents. We can also help discuss your living situation.

      We are here for you and will support you in any way that we can. Please feel free to call into us directly as we can talk further about your situation and find resources that are best for you in your area. Stay strong and you are not alone in this! Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY we are open 24/7.

  • Thank you , and i will let yall know if i feel like harming myself again , thank you

    Comment


    • Hi im 15 and i have been living with my grandma for two years she has taken good care of me and my mom wants me to move with her but i dont want to live with her because she neglects me and she hits me she said that she wants me to live with her so i can watch the little kids and feed them.i am scared to live with my mom and i am scared of her.i am scared that if doing something wrong ot saying something wrong and her hitting me.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you feel comfortable with your grandma and like living with her. We are happy to hear you are in a safe place with people who are for you. It also sounds like you are facing pressure from your mom who wants you to move in with her. You mentioned that she has abused you in the past, and we want to make sure you know that no one deserves to be neglected or abused in any way. If you do not feel safe living with your mom, you should not have to live with her. A helpful resource to support you could be calling Child Help – the National Child Abuse Hotline – at 1-800-422-4453. If you ever feel you are in immediate danger, please do not hesitate to call 911.

        It is hard to help you without knowing whether your mom or grandma has custody over you. If it is your mom, your grandma may have to fight for custody over you so that you can continue to stay with her. We encourage you to call 1-800-RUNAWAY so that we can talk directly about your situation and help you stay with your grandma.

        Best, NRS

    • i wanna live with my grandparents. me and my mother don’t get along AT ALL... we are always going back and forth arguing and i just hate it. She puts me down mentally by calling me names like “whore” “hoe” “slut” when i’m definitely not any of those. She believes that i am sleeping with multiple guys and i’m not... for a matter of fact i’m very insecure about my body so i’m a virgin because i don’t want any guy seeing my body. Anyways, what do i do? i have called defac and they said my mom can still make me come home because she is my legal parent. i have nothing to do with my father so i can’t live with him. Because of all the arguements my mom had kicked my out of my home multiple times. And when she drinks and we get to arguing she gets physical. I am currently at my grandparents but my mom is asking for me to come back home and i don’t want to for safety reasons. I’m scared to go back because since i called defac on her i know she will be really mad at me and we will get to argueing and she will just kick me out once again. If she ends of calling the cops can i say that the reason i didn’t wanna go back home for the safety reasons and they let me stay here at my grandparents? ugh. btw i’m 14, i turn 15 in a month. i just don’t know what to do anymore.

      Comment


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you're having a really difficult time with your mom and are concerned about your safety while staying with her. We understand your concern and will do our best to provide some helpful information about your options.

        If your mom has filed a runaway report, you yourself would not get in trouble. Running away is not illegal for you--it just means that the police would either return you home or hold you until your guardian could go get you from the station. The police should not return you to an unsafe situation, but we can't say for sure whether they would let you stay with your grandparents or where they would take you. Additionally, if your mom has filed a runaway report and she has evidence that you were staying with your grandparents, she can charge your grandparents with harboring a runaway. This can be a pretty serious misdemeanor. You may want to discuss this with your grandparents to see what they think.

        It sounds like you may have already filed an abuse report for your mother's behavior. If not, this is an option available to you. If you'd like help filing a report or would like to learn more, you can contact Child Help, a national child abuse hotline, at 1-800-422-4453. They should be able to answer any questions you have about what constitutes abuse and what the process is like.

        We want to make sure you know that it is not okay for your mom to kick you out. She is your legal guardian, and therefore she is legally obligated to provide you with shelter and other basic necessities. Kicking you out is considered neglect, which is a form of child abuse. If she does kick you out again, you can call the police and have them come settle the situation.

        If you think there's any chance that your relationship with your mom can be improved, you could look at family counseling programs. These could help you and your mom understand each other and learn to live together in a more acceptable manner. We also offer a conference call service here at NRS. You and your mom would call in, and one of us would mediate a conversation between the two of you about whatever you decide you want to discuss with your mom. You may also want to look into individual counseling, as it sounds like you have been going through a very stressful time. If you're interested in family or individual counseling, we can help you look up any free/sliding scale options in your area.

        If you're interested in any of these options or would like to learn more, please don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929. We're here 24/7 and are toll-free and confidential. We're also always here to listen if you want to just talk things out.

        Best of luck,
        NRS
        Last edited by ccsmod10; 05-14-2018, 08:45 PM.

    • I need to know if I could leave my parents and live with my grandma. I hate my life and can't stand this place I'm 15.

      Comment


      • ccsmod11
        ccsmod11 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out to us to help you decide about this situation. It sounds like you’re going through a lot at home and are thinking of leaving. This is surely a difficult time for you, and we’re sure you’ve been enduring a lot. Hopefully we can help.

        We’re not legal experts, so what we tell you may not apply in your community, even if it applies in most of the U.S. As far as we know, you can legally leave home to live with your grandmother if you become emancipated or if you can convince your mom to give up her custodial rights over you. In the latter situation, your grandmother could petition to take over custody of you. Both emancipation and a custody transfer are mediated through the courts, and may involve hiring a lawyer. If you need help with looking for legal aid resources, call us at 1-800-786-2929.

        Again, we are not legal experts, but we can give you some general information about another option, running away. Usually, if a runaway report is filed on a youth, the police are authorized to search for the youth and return them home. In most parts of the U.S., running away is not illegal and won’t result in a youth getting arrested or fined. Adults who you stay with could be charged for harboring a runaway, which is a very rare charge, but a charge you may want to know about. Penalties for this charge vary widely across the U.S.

        Hopefully this helped. Thanks so much for reaching out to us. If you have any questions or want to talk more, please call us at 1-800-786-2929.

        Best,
        NRS

    • Hi,I live with my mom and my brother my mom really knows how to upset me. she pretty much treats me like trash well she always tells me that I am and I’m sick of being told that I’m going to end up like my dad or that I should’ve walked with that kid that I know who got by a car. I am 12 years old and I want to move to my grandparents house. Though it’s not much of a change it would still be nice to be made fun of by my mom and my brother. My grandparents live right next door with my aunts and uncles. I used to spend the night all of the time until I actually told my mom to stop being so mean. Then she said it was illegal what I was doing and I can’t move to my grandmas house or she would call the police on me. Is what I’m doing actually wrong??

      Comment


      • Hi there,

        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline.

        We're sorry to hear about what has been going on at home and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We're happy to hear that you have people like your grandparents to turn to, though.

        We are not legal experts, but generally speaking, if you leave home and your parents file a runaway report, you would most likely be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for your grandparents for what is called harboring a runaway. It is not illegal to run away, but your mom does have the legal right to call the police and have you returned home. Do you think your grandparents would be willing to advocate for you to your mom to let you live with them? If you want help going through your options or just want someone to talk to, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

        Best,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • I need help.

          i've been living with my grandparents for 6 years now because my mom and dad left me and my older sister alone. My dad had debts and he just left us without saying anything then my mom went after him so my grandma brought up me and my sister. She gave us the best 6 years of our lives with my grandpa. But on 2017 my grandpa passed away. Also all these years my parents didn't even call us or send us some money. My grandparents live very well I think that's why. My sister got married couple of weeks ago, my parents didn't know about it and my grandma said that she doesn't like that guy and she doesn't want her to live with us if she's going to keep being in a relationship with that guy. But my sister told her that she was all serious and that they want to marry soon. My grandma got mad and said that she can leave the house if she wants to marry that guy and she left us, she left me. My grandma told her that if she leaves she'll give me to my parents. And they know how much I hate them all my life I've seen my dad drunk and beating my mother.
          Now that my sister isn't living with us she called our parents and told them everything. My mom was really mad and she thought that my grandma is the reason why my sister left the house. But it is not true!!! She loved my sister more than anyone she would but the best things for her. And now I'm already 17 and I'm applying for University, my grandpa from Russia and my grandma told me that they'll pay the fee so i can go to that Univ. Now that my grandma is mad at eveyone she wants to give me to my parents, so that my parents would know how is it to bring up a teenager. But I DON'T WANT TO GO. I LOVE LIVING WITH MY GRANDMA AND I'LL NEVER BETRAY HER LIKE MY SISTER DID. I don't know what to do I've been crying for a week, after couple days my parents are gonna come and take me with them. I am so tired of this life I rather die than go with them and live with them the same life..Please help me, I really want to stay with my grandma I don't want parents like them, I know that they will never pay for my University. But it's not the case I'm jist scared to live with them again, after all these years,, I know they're the same I'm sure they haven't change.

          Comment


          • ccsmod7
            ccsmod7 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you and your sister have survived a lot of family crisis after being abandoned by parents. Your grandparents have done a lot to support you both as you were growing up. Returning to parents’ care is causing you a lot of emotional stress. The best way to support your concerns and brainstorming options is to help you directly rather than using our online Forum postings.

            In your Forum post, you mentioned that you are considering going to college in Russia. This leads us to believe that you may be living outside the United States. To find out what youth crisis support resources are located internationally – check out https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/. This website directs you to organizations similar to us in many countries outside the US.

            If you’re located in the United States, we are available to support you directly 24 hours a day by calling 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-runaway). Many youth prefer using our online chat feature to discuss their concerns especially when they don’t have easy private telephone access. Our Online Chat is accessible off our website www.1800runway.org. The chat line hours traditional were available after 4PM CST. We are in the process of expanding this service – so check our website to see what the current online chat availability is to support you.

            We appreciate you sharing your story online Forum. It is an important first step in working through your options in finding family stability once again.

            Best of luck!

        • I actually don't want to live with my grandma anymore, I want to live with my dad, I'm 16, do I get a say in it?

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello After reading your post we noticed that it had a similar theme to other users. We have attached the reply to this threat. If you have any other follow-up questions please feel free to give us a call. 1-800-786-2929
            Originally posted by Guest View Post
            I am 16 years old and I live with my grandma right now, but my mom wants me to move back with her when the school year is over to her home 2 hours away. I do not want to move and want to live with my grandma. Do I need to go to court to see if my grandma can get costody if my mother refuses to let me stay?
            Hey there,

            Thanks for reaching out, that was a really brave step. It makes sense that you’re worried about talking to your mom about wanting to stay somewhere else. It’s great that you have a supportive aunt and grandparents in what seems like a difficult time.

            It sounds like you think your mom may not respond well. One option that we offer is to do a conference call with you and your mom, we would serve as a mediator to keep the conversation calm and fair. Another thing to think about is if there is someone, like maybe your grandparents or aunt may be able to talk to your mom with you, if you think your mom would be more willing to consider it coming from them or them with you. Also, it may be helpful to talk about what’s going on with a friend, a teacher, the school counselor, or another supportive person in your life.

            Thank you again for reaching out to us. We are here to help 24/7 and would be happy to further discuss your options if you give us a call or send us a chat. We hope everything works out and please don’t hesitate to get in touch if you need us.

        • Right hi I really don’t like my parents they are to over protective;when I go out they always call me shouting get home for no reason in front of my mates and accuse me of anything they can they are stressing me out no other of my mates parents are like this and my dad Said did If I don’t tell him the truth he would hit me, is that allowed? And I just can’t stand how they rest me I’m always last because my baby sister takes all the attention I can’t possibly live I hate them I want to like with my nana but none of them like her they both hate her it’s my dad a mum she said she would love me to stay with her but my mum and dad absolutely hate her what shall I do? I don’t wanna live with them wanna live with my nana.and they have took my phone off me I’m sneaking on my iPad and also my mum stole £200 from me that I worked for and didn’t tell me I had to go up to her and say I have been robbed tehy she said I have took it then she took £40 off me honestly she and my dad both need help I can’t live like this.

          Comment


          • ccsmod10
            ccsmod10 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

            We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

        • Help,

          So when i was young my parents got divorced, i lived with my mom untill 3rd grade. I decided that i wanted to live with my dad (looking back, i dont think i was old enough to even make that discision) through the time ive lived with my dad he never had a stable job or relationship with another woman, recently he is trying to divorce the step mom. Recently my grandparents have been trying to help my dad (since he is struggling with a new girlfriend) so my grandparents were trying to help him move near by them so that they could see us more, we were trying to move back to where we used to live (near my grandparents) he couldnt get the van packed up and he flipped out at us (me and my grandparents (i was visiting for the summer)) for not helping him pack despite us not being able to drive 200 miles and back since we had my brother austin. He is saying that my grandparents are manipulating him (because they are trying to help him).

          i understand that this sounds very crazy, so in short i want to move with my grandparents but my dad (who has custody) probably wouldnt allow it since he thinks that they are trying to manipulate him. Im 16 and i just want to finish highschool and not worry about this anymore. I appreciate your time

          -A Highschool Student

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are sorry to hear about the issues you are having with your dad. It sounds like you want to live with your grandparents, but you don't think your dad would give you permission. Your grandparents could seek legal aid in order to get custody of you. Child help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource to get information on how to transfer custody. Another option that you have is contacting CPS, to report the fact that your dad hasn't had a stable job. If you have any other questions or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

        • I want to live with my Grandmother
          I have pretty much been emotionaly and mentally abused for about 5years and ever since my sister moved out three years ago I have had to add physically abused to the list. When I was around 11 or 12 (I’m 13 now) I couldn’t figure how to do something and so my dad told me I was dumb and that I should hang myself. Another time I was helping him put something together but I couldn’t lift the piece (it was a grill) and so he pulled me by hair hair and slammed my face into the grill. I began seeing my grandmother again about a year ago. But about 5 months ago my mom punched me in the face and my nose was bleeding. We were in the car and so when we got home I called my grandmother and told her she needed to come get me so she came to our house my mom didn’t know that I called her and so she tried to hit me again because my grandma was here. I tried to go home with her for the weekend but my mom wouldn’t let me. My mom started to yell at my grandma and told her to leave. So she did she came back about 5 minutes later with the cops. So we had to talk to them and then they told my mom if this happens again she could be in serious trouble. They told my grandma to just go home and that if I needed anything to call them. So a few days later CPS came (my grandma called them) after that my mom refused to let anybody see her anymore. (I have 4 other brothers and sisters in the house) since then my mom has pulled out my hair. Hit me, scratched me, kicked. Etc. my room has been moved to the basement. There is bugs everywhere, a hot water tank, I think air conditioning unit or something. It freezing it smells bad and it’s unfinished and used for storage. My parents won’t let me wear makeup (not even concealer) won’t buy me a phone and it’s not because we don’t have the money it’s because they think that whatever girl that does those things is a whore and will be raped. They’ve told me millions of times that they don’t want me here and can’t wait till I leave, and turn 18 so that they can be done with me. I cry myself to sleep every night. I have to clean the (not exaggerating) kitchen, living room, den, hallway, stairs, playroom, bathroom, parents room, and brothers room, I also have to feed cats, let dog out, take out trash it’s because my mom thinks that all girls are good for are men’s satisfaction and cleaning, cooking, and taking care of kids. I can’t stand being here anymore and want to live with my grandmother because I know that she loves me and wants the best for me. My dad has only told me once in the past 5 years that he loved me( he was drunk) my mom has never said it.

          Comment


          • ccsmod6
            ccsmod6 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hello thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear about the scar situation that you are in. No one deserves to be treated that way. If you feel that you are in an immediate danger please do not hesitate to call 911. We can also call out to them together if that makes you feel more comfortable.
            It seems like you have tried to contact cps and try to go live with your grandmother. If you chose to go live with your grandmother without your parents’ permission they may be able to file a runaway report, which is typically a status offense. If the police find you they may or may not take you home. Your grandmother may also be charged with harboring a runaway. Some police departments may prioritize safety over the report that would be made and may let you stay with a safer adult. It may be beneficial to call out to your local police non-emergency number anonymously to ask about what they would typically do in that situation. We are sorry that this has been very difficult for you to do. We appreciate the fact that your grandmother has tried to intervene and help you in this situation. If you do not want to report to the police at this time we can try to assist you in contacting CPS together by calling out to them on a conference call and making a report. You also have the option of reaching out to Child Help, a national Child Abuse Hotlines at 1800-422-4453 or www.childhelp.org to report the abuse and find resources available to you. We really hope these resources can help you get out of this situation in some way.
            Again, thank you for reaching out to us. Our hotline is open 24/7 and is confidential. We can be reached at 1800-RUNAWAY or at 1800runaway.org. Stay Safe.
            -NRS

        • Hello, my mother has been a steady pill head and step father is the supplier. I’m 19 years old and I’ve been dealing with this my whole life. Luckily I had my real father to live with. My younger sister is 13 years old And those are both of her legal parents. We have contacted DCF 3 times and now they have started to do something. After 4 months of my younger sister living at my grandparents the DCF case worker is now saying she may have to go back home. The home is not fit, nor are her parents. What should she do.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes courage to seek help. We are very sorry to hear about the situation with your sister and her parents. It seems like you really care about her and want her to be safe. We are not legal experts so we can only give general information. Your grandparents could seek legal custody of your sister. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is a great resource to explore more options and get information on how to transfer custody. We hope that this helps, if you have any other questions please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

        • I want to live with my grandparents or my aunt because I can't handle living in the same place where I have bad options but my aunt and grandparents live in a small town in texas and I was thinking that I want to move out there to live in texas. My aunt and my grandma said they would love it if I stayed plus one of them can homeschool them and I would love that. But I'm my fathers baby and I know it will hurt my dad but I think it's a great opportunity for me so I would be in a better life out there and plus I have two more years of high school what could hurt? Right?. I need help to talk to my parents about it.

          Comment


          • ccsmod2
            ccsmod2 commented
            Editing a comment
            Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand that it takes courage to seek help. It sounds like you are thinking about living with another family member. You could try asking your parents if they would allow you to stay with your aunt or grandparents. Here at NRS, we offer conference calls between youth and their parents. This could be an opportunity for you to discuss how you feel about moving to your parents with the support of an NRS worker. If you have any questions or just want to talk please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.
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