I want to live with my grandparents.

[Guest]

I want to live with my grandmother who lives in an apartment building. I am 16 years old. My mother is constantly ridiculing me and even calls me names. She verbally abuses me constantly, telling me how I shouldn't have broken up with my boyfriend and that it was all my fault that our relationship was going so badly because I was being mean to him when I know, in my heart that I was kind and loving. She also tells me that I am a mean and hurtful person that is cold. She says all of these things to me and then I begin to cry. She simply tells me to stop playing the victim. I feel like I am being downgraded day after day and I don't know if I can handle it much longer. She makes me not want to live anymore. My dad just sits in the shadows and lets it all happen. I feel like I have nobody except my grandmother. I am not a bad kid. I would never sneak out, do drugs, or have sex. I have a high GPA and I am successful in my classes. I managed softball, then my mother said I couldn't do it anymore. Managing makes me so happy, and I feel like she took it away from me just because it does. She told me to move out, and just leave. I don't have my license or any money. She also took away my cell phone.
I don't know what to do.

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation.

It sounds like your mom doesn't treat you very well. You never deserve to be talked down to or brought down. It’s understandable that you’re wanting to get away from that environment, and live with your grandmother. We’re glad that you and her have such a strong bond and that she’s a positive person in your life. Home should always be a safe place for you to be, abuse is never okay and you don’t deserve that treatment. You’re not alone in this, we are here to help, and there are other organizations here to help as well. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for being able to live with your grandmother, as far as transferring custody.

We offer a conference calling service, between youth and their parents. If you ever wanted our help talking to your mom about how you're being treated at home, we're always here to make that call with you. We can also try to talk with her about letting you live with your grandmother.

If you feel like getting out of the house is the best option and you decide to run away, we can explain what usually happens. We’re not legal experts, but from our general knowledge, running away is not illegal. If you runaway, your parents can make a runaway report. The police don't always actively look for you, if they come across you, then they usually bring you home. If you explain to them that home isn't a safe place to be, they don't always return you right away. They're supposed to investigate it first. We offer to call out to youths local police, with youth, to find out their protocols and what happens if runaways refuse to go home.

We also have legal aid resources in our database. While we’re not law experts, we can try to find one in your area, there may be legal ways for you to be able to move in with your grandmother. We’re here to try to brainstorm options with you.

We hope our response is helpful. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center if you'd like to talk more about your situation.

Be safe, NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

My friend has been emotionally and verbally been abused by his mother. I’m trying to see if he could live with his grandparents without his mother’s permission. Is this legally possible in the state of Nebraska?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are very sorry to hear that your friend is being abused by his mother. Abuse is never okay, and he doesn't deserve to be treated that way. Verbal abuse is harder to prove, but he still has the right to report it. Your friend could contact Child Help (1-800-422-4453) to report the abuse and get information on how to transfer custody as well. We are not legal experts, so we cannot say for sure whether your friend could move in with his grandparents without his mother's permisison. You could give your friend our information and we could provide him with local resources for legal aid. If you or your friend have any other questions or just want to talk, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

Hi. I've been considering leaving home for a long time. See, the rest of my family members are athletes, while I am not. I've never had something that I'm actually good at, until recently. In this past year, I've enrolled in a theatre class. I love it...So much so that I want to continue in the acting career path. I'd hidden this fact from my family for a long time but when my sisters were making fun of me for my lack of athleticism, I just blurted out, "At least I have a future onstage." and from that day on, every word that has came out of my sisters mouths have been ridiculing me in some way because of my passions. Now for my mom: She is the source of most conversation that end up in my crying (which also gets made fun of). It seems like I can do no right in her eyes. No matter how hard I try, there's never something positive about me that she can say. I'm a constant disappointment in her eyes. In theatre actually, I got one of the leads in a musical and still she asked why I didn't get the main lead. She makes fun of my friends, my body, the activities I enjoy, and just the way I go about my life. At this point the only person in my family that I can tolerate being around is my father.. but he's a pilot so he's gone 95% of the time and when he is home, my mother tells over dramatic lies about me. I've already looked into running away but I know the consequences that may have on my future. I want to live with my grandparents who only live 15 minutes away, but I doubt my mother would let that happen. If I want to go stay with them for a while, how do you think I should ask my parents?

[ccsmod5]

Hi. I've been considering leaving home for a long time. See, the rest of my family members are athletes, while I am not. I've never had something that I'm actually good at, until recently. In this past year, I've enrolled in a theatre class. I love it...So much so that I want to continue in the acting career path. I'd hidden this fact from my family for a long time but when my sisters were making fun of me for my lack of athleticism, I just blurted out, "At least I have a future onstage." and from that day on, every word that has came out of my sisters mouths have been ridiculing me in some way because of my passions. Now for my mom: She is the source of most conversation that end up in my crying (which also gets made fun of). It seems like I can do no right in her eyes. No matter how hard I try, there's never something positive about me that she can say. I'm a constant disappointment in her eyes. In theatre actually, I got one of the leads in a musical and still she asked why I didn't get the main lead. She makes fun of my friends, my body, the activities I enjoy, and just the way I go about my life. At this point the only person in my family that I can tolerate being around is my father.. but he's a pilot so he's gone 95% of the time and when he is home, my mother tells over dramatic lies about me. I've already looked into running away but I know the consequences that may have on my future. I want to live with my grandparents who only live 15 minutes away, but I doubt my mother would let that happen. If I want to go stay with them for a while, how do you think I should ask my parents?

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline, it was very brave of you to reach out for support! That sounds like a very stressful situation and like you have already been through so much. It sounds like your family has been very unsupportive. Sometimes, when people plan to have a difficult conversation they find it helpful to practice or rehearse what they plan to say. Have you been able to talk to anyone about this decision? Is there someone who you trust to help you practice this difficult conversation? Sometimes having a plan or even writing out what you want to communicate can be helpful as well. How do you think your parent’s might react if you ask to live with your grandparents? Would the conversation possibly go differently if you spoke with your father separately? It sounds like you have given this big decision a lot of thought and are trying to do what will be best for you. We are glad that you reached out to the National Runaway Safeline for help and if you wanted to talk more about your situation, develop a plan, or even practice a conversation with your parents were are available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and via live chat on our website www.1800runaway.org.

[Guest]

hey i live with my grandma and want to live with my mom, my grandma treats me like crap and i feel unwanted,what should i do?

[ccsmod5]

Hey,
Thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re in a pretty stressful situation. You definitely deserve to feel safe, loved, and supported at home. We’re so sorry to hear that your grandmother isn’t treating you in the way you deserve; that’s just not okay. We’re unsure of the details of your situation, but we can offer some general information. First, if you ever feel like you’re in immediate danger, you can always call 9-1-1. If this applies, another resource you might consider is the National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453. It sounds like you’re wanting to live with your mom. We’re not legal experts, but generally speaking you should be able to stay with your mom if she has full or partial custody of you. If she does not, another option is for your mom to file for custody of you.
Without knowing too much more, we’re unable to speak to further options, but please feel free to call us anytime if you’d like to speak more specifically about your situation and we can try to figure out additional options for you. Our number is 1-800-786-2929.
We hope this message was helpful! We encourage you to give your honest feedback of our forum services at the following link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe, stay strong!

[Guest]

Please help

I'm 15 and I live in Madeira Island (Portugal), which is were i've lived all my life, but I just can't take it anymore. I have no problems with my parents, they love me, I love them and vice versa, but some months ago, I started to feel this...kind of anxiety to leave here and I don't know why. My aunt lives alone in England (which is my goal since I was 12) and she always said there wouldn't be a problem if I went to live with her, but it would be complicated. I understand, but I just can't live here anymore, I feel like i'm going crazy and my parents just don't belive in me, they I want to go there but they think it's a teenage thing, but it's not. I already have depression because I feel trapped in here and just can't take it anymore. (Btw, sorry for my English).

[ccsmod7]

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. You so deserve to be heard and believed by your parents when you talk to them about your anxiety and depression and what you feel like you need to be okay. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/ or http://www.iacrianca.pt/.

We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country. If you are interested in what mental health resources are near you, you might try to inquire about those with the local Child Help Line too.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

If your grandchild is 15 and wants to live with you because she is being emotionally abused at home would a judge allow her to live with me if the grandchild tells the judge what's going on

[ccsmod3]

Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you and your grandchild have been going through such a tough time, but we are here to support you and help you in any way we can.
We want you to know that no one deserves to be abused, and your grandchild should not have to go through that. If she ever feels that she is in danger, she could call 911 for immediate help.
Also, if you haven’t already, you could consider reporting the abuse she’s been experiencing. If you want more information about abuse reporting or if you want to file a report, you could call Child Help at 1-800-422-4453 or you could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online. We can’t say for sure what would happen in the situation you mentioned. Sometimes if there is abuse in the home, Child Protective Services may let the child live in the home and provide them with resources to improve the situation. Other times, the youth is removed from the home. It depends on the circumstances. Also, if the youth’s parents give her permission to leave home and live somewhere else, she would be allowed to do that. We also have legal aid resources in case you are interested in asking more specific questions about laws in your state.
If you haven’t already, you could consider reaching out to a trusted adult, relative, worker/teacher/counselor at her school for help and support. You or your grandchild could also consider talking to her parents about how she’s been feeling. Just so you’re aware, we have a conference calling service here where we could help mediate a conversation between her and her parents.
There are also many resources that could help you find a safe place for your grandchild or help you both with anything else you may need. If you want to talk more about what’s been going on, or if you would like more information about resources, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online.
Again, thank you for contacting us. It sounds like you both been going through a really hard time, but you’ve shown a lot of strength by working through these challenges and reaching out for help. If you ever need anything in the future, please feel free to call us or chat with us online. We’re always here to listen and here to help.

-NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey.

Tell us what you think about your experience!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

I am 16 years old and I live with my grandma right now, but my mom wants me to move back with her when the school year is over to her home 2 hours away. I do not want to move and want to live with my grandma. Do I need to go to court to see if my grandma can get costody if my mother refuses to let me stay?

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like your mother would like for you to move back in with her but you do not want to. We want you to know that we are not legal experts but it does sound like you might need to go to court to get guardianship transferred over. Please keep in mind though, it can be generally pretty hard to remove a parents rights if they have not broken any laws or if they have not put you in any kind of danger. It could be a good idea for you to get in contact with a legal representative.
We are glad that out were able to get a hold of us and we hope that everything works out in your favor. If there is anything that you think that we can do to help you in your time of need please let us know. We are here to listen. Here to help. 1-800-786-2929
Best wishes,
NRS

[Guest]

Im 15 yrs old and am about to be 16 but I cannot stand my parents. I lived with my mom and grandma my whole life until my mom married this prick when I was 13. I was forced to move with them even though I wanted to stay with my grandma. Its been hell and now they are pulling me out of a school that I have been going to for 11 yrs and have known all my friends from. I constantly have to deal with their bull******** and im not even a bad but they think that I am. I have gotten very close to suicide but it has never gone through. They are going to make me go to a school that will make me be isolated from everything I have ever known. I want to live with my grandma but am not allowed and even though she loves me says that she couldn't do that to my mother. I am thinking about running away and just telling them to screw off until they are reasonable. If I am forced to live with them I am sure I will kill myself within the next couple months. HELP!!!

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the national Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

We're sorry to hear about what's been going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. Do you think that your grandma would be willing to advocate for you to stay with her? If not, we also have a conference call service here where a liner could mediate a conversation between you and your mom so you can safely voice your concerns. You also mentioned thinking about suicide. We want you to know that your life is valuable and that there are people that want to listen and help. If you're ever feeling that way, don't hesitate to reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Generally speaking, if you run away as a minor and your parents file a runaway report, you will most likely be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a minor. If you want to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) a liner could help you walk through your options and help you figure out what is best for you.

NRS

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think

[Guest]

She also takes my phone just to listen to music. I can’t even have my own personal space my grandma even have an extra room. Also today when she got off of work she said cause she was mad YOU CANNOT DANCE! I wanted to say so bad out loud you CANNOT SING AT ALL SO JUST FOR GET IT! My grandma treats me more than a daughter then she do! Also she say you dirty look at your room. When she is the same person that tells me and my sister to clean her room how stupid is she. My own Aunt treats me more like a daughter. I pray to god everyday to live with my grandma almost since I was little, but it never seems to work for me. And she wonder why any goodluck happen to her at least I believe in faith trust and pixie dust lol. Well at least I have faith in god one day it will happen I can’t wait until I’m 18 to live on my own and even be a fashion designer for my own clothing line and I dare her to ask me for anything’

[ccsmod9]

Hello there,
Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline today.
We’re sorry you’re going through such a frustrating time. It sounds really hard. You deserve to feel safe, happy and healthy in your own home. We want you to know you’re very brave for coming to us today.
Often times having a space to vent your feelings can help. We’re here to talk and listen. If you want, please give us a call directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We’re 24/7 and confidential.
Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

hello i am 15 years old and ive had alot going on in my life since i was little i have never been abused but life at my house makes me really suicidal and i want to live at the house the rest of my family lives in including my grandparents and uncles. what do i do

[ccsmod10]

Hi,

We’re sorry to hear that you’ve have all this going on, and have been having suicidal thoughts; thanks for reaching out!

It sounds like your family is split, and there may be some details regarding custody to keep in mind... Hopefully you’ve already talked to your parents or legal guardians about your plans, or that you’d like to leave. If not, that’s definitely something to prepare well for and then do, maybe with someone else there to help you; if they give you permission to stay with the rest of the family (at least for some time, like a “break”), it would make things much easier in terms of custody (and you wouldn’t be doing something that would put anyone in trouble).

Besides that, have you talked to anyone about your suicidal thoughts, like a counselor or another adult? It would be really good to get help. We’re here for you, and will be happy to offer you resources like counseling in your city; just call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Also, please keep this number at hand: 1-800-273-TALK

The most important thing is for you to try to get help so you can get strong. Please reach out if you want those resources, and best of luck!

[Guest]

Hi, I'm 15 years old. I hate living with my parents they abuse me mentally and emotionally and have abused me physically before. When I turn 16 years old I want to leave and live with my grandparents. Will a charge me put on my grandparents or me for leaving without permission? I looked up online when you turn 16 you can leave your house without your parents consent. Please get back to me as soon as possible. Thank you.

[ccsmod15]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out to us. In relation to the abuse you describe you have the option of making an abuse report should you wish to. You always have the right to notify child protective services if your parents are neglecting you or abusing you in any way. For more information about that process and what might happen if you do make an abuse report, you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453.You don’t deserve to be treated this way.
It is important to say we aren’t legal experts. Parents have the right to make runaway reports with the police, but the youth does not necessarily get into legal trouble. Most states have laws against harboring runaways. The possibility exists for any person who lets a runaway stay in their home face legal trouble.
In most states, youth are legal at the age of 18. There is a lot of grey area when it comes to what age a youth can leave home and until what age a parent is still responsible for the youth. It may be worth you knowing that if a youth’s legal guardian agrees, youth can live in an alternative living arrangement.
Again, we’re really glad you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options. If you would like to talk further about your situation please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We are here to listen, here to help. Our number is 1-800-786-2929 and our lines are always open.

[Guest]

Hi I am 12 and I hate my life so my mum has been a single parent for most of my life and me my mum and brother live with my grandparents because we were kicked out of our house a couple of years ago and I used hate my grandparents and my mum does but recently me my brother and mum went to Spain to see the guy mum is going to marry and I hate him and I feel like my mum does more for him then me but then we returned back to the UK and I realized that I wanted to live with my grandparents cause they have done loads of things for me and I want to live with them but my mum said no because she has raised me when I was born till now and she shouts at me and everyday I cry but now I have to move Spain with her but i don't want to so yesterday my mum said u either stay with me or go into care when I want to stay my grandparents and want to stay with my family around cause if i go to Spain will have no 9ne so what shall I do plz let me know asap I am crying right now

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help.
The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. Since you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

We're sorry to hear about the difficult situation that you are in and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. Hopefully you can find other family members or trusted adults that could help advocate for you in your situation.

Best,

NRS