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  • I want to live with my grandparents.

    I can't stand the way my parents treat me. Can I live with my grandmother instead? I've been putting up with it for a while now and I just can't stand it I feel like I'm gonna die if I don't get away.

  • #2
    re: I want to live with my grandparents.

    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out tonight and posting here. You ask a good question. It sounds like things are getting pretty overwhelming at home. It seems like you’re working on putting together a plan on where you can go to get the support that you are looking for. That’s smart. So let’s see how we can help you out.

    We aren’t legal experts here, but we are able to speak generally as to what might happen if you decide to leave with your parent’s permission. If you leave home, your parents have the right to file a runaway report with the police. If the police take the report, they can look for you and if they find you, then they can bring you back home. If you aren’t on probation or parole, then you wouldn’t be arrested, you would just be forced back home. It’s not illegal to be filed as a runaway, you could just be returned back home.

    Sometimes people in positions like yours will try and get permission from their parents to go to live with their grandparents. There might be a couple tips to help you get that permission. Thinking through what you are willing to compromise on might be helpful. (If you are asking something from your parents, then they might ask for something from you). You might be able to ask if you could spend the weekends with your grandparents or something like that. It can also be helpful to you get your grandparents on board with your plan, so contacting them next might be a good step. They might also be able to help have that discussion with you parents.

    We are here to talk more about what is going on and talk through more options at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you aren’t able to call, you can also chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time. We are confidential and anonymous.

    It’s understandable that you’re thinking about leaving and it’s smart to ask that question and get a solid understanding of what could happen if you left.

    We look forward to your call or chat.

    Best of luck to you,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      I need some advice

      So I lived in the town Redding, CA my whole life and my parents think it's the worst place in the world. Literally. I am 16 and my parents are making me see a counselor at the moment. I was told that they think I'm depressed but if you lived in a small town your whole life and then moved to a city in Colorado in the middle of the school year you'd be depressed as well, but I have family that have offered me to stay with them in Redding and my mom keeps telling them "no" that I'm to young and I'm not able to live without her. She thinks I'll get harmed there and that I'll end up pregnant. But I'm a good kid. And never got into trouble and always had a 3.0 GPA till I got here. My grades dropped and I now have a 1.8 GPA. But I was curious. My mom told me that it is considered kidnapping if she doesn't approve of me staying with them. What should I do? I want to go back and I could but my parents won't allow me and they constantly yell at me and cuss me out and baby my siblings and I get into trouble for everything. I need some advice on this.?

      Comment


      • #4
        re: I need some advice

        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out tonight. It sounds like you are going through a lot with your parents. It’s got to be difficult to move and it sounds like you’re feeling pretty unstable and down about everything that’s going on. It’s great that you’ve been reaching out for support from your family members, from us and from your counselor. It was smart of you to reach out to us. So let’s see how we can help you out.

        We aren’t legal experts here, but we are able to speak generally. In general, your mom is right that if you leave without her permission and go to stay with anyone, then your mom has the right to charge those people with “harboring a runaway”. The consequences for that can range from the police doing nothing to the people facing jail time.

        You mentioned that you’re looking for some advice. Although, we can’t give you advice – because you are the one who know your situation the best – we can talk through some options you might have to improve the situation. It’s clearly a really overwhelming time. If you’re looking for permission from your parents, thinking through ways to communicate that with them could be an option for you. Sometimes thinking through exactly what you want to say and how you want to say it can be a good start. Thinking through what you might be willing to compromise on too can be helpful.

        We hope that these might be some good first steps for you. If you’d like to talk more about anything, about these options or about more options, please feel free to call us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are anonymous and confidential. If you don’t want to call, you can chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time.

        We look forward to your call or chat.

        Best of luck to you,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          confused

          Hey there. So the past year has pretty much sick for me because I just have had it with both my parents and their bull********. Like going back and forth I have been thinking which parent I should live with. By then now I have had it. I just want to live with someone else like grandparents, aunts, cousins,. Just anyone. Any advise?

          Comment


          • #6
            re: confused

            Hey there,

            Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, it seems like you are going through a pretty tough time at this point in your life and we want you to know that we are here to listen and to help you in the best way we can. From what you shared, it sounds like you are ready to leave home.

            So, it seems like you are pretty fed up with your parents and how the custody issues have been going. Have you considered talking to them about how all of this is making you feel? Sometimes just being able to let them know how you are feeling can potentially help your situation. If you feel like you would want to talk to them, but wouldn’t want to do it alone, we have a conference calling service that is available for youth to use. This is where we would serve as mediators and mediate a conversation between you and your parents, we are not here to choose sides but rather conduct a productive conversation to try to solve the issue. Another thing that could be discussed in this call or if you would want to speak to your parents about is living with other family members.

            We hope that we are able to consider some options and are able to provide you with the support needed. If at any point, you do decide to leave, please feel free to give us a call, we are toll free and we would be able to provide you with resources and referrals to shelters in your area. We also have a live chat service that is available every day from 4:30 PM to 11:30 PM CST. We wish you the best of luck in whatever it is you decide to do and hope to hear from you soon.

            Stay strong,

            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              Please help.

              My parents are so unfair, especially my mom. My mom is religious; she's always talking about church or something and it's kind of annoying. I'm a Christian, but she takes it to the extremes. She doesn't like the way I dress, do my makeup, or my hobbies. She's ALWAYS on my case about something, no matter how small. I'm a good kid; never tried to sneak out or anything. Recently, at a friends house, I watched the TV show American horror story and my parents found found out. They were furious. Now that's all i hear about. I ordered a phone case with an actor from the show (because I think he's hot ha) and my mom refuses to let me use it. I payed for it and it took 3 months to get here, but she will not let me use it. She says I should get something "bright and positive" but that's crap. Im a depressed teenager, black is basically my fave color. No I'm not gothic; I just like black. She's just ridiculous. She also yells at me about my makeup, how I just shouldn't wear any at all. But makeup makes ME feel better about myself. Just like I liked the phone case. But because she doesn't like it, I can't use it. My grandparents treat me so much better and actually listen to me, like they value my opinion. Sometimes my dad listens, but he mostly takes my moms side on everything. I just wish I could move out. I don't hate my parents; but I'm so tired of living like this.... Advice please?

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Please Help

                Hello,

                Thank you for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear about your situation, it sounds really difficult and frustrating. While we don’t give advice, we do explore options and provide support for youth in crisis. If you would feel comfortable contacting us, we can talk about ways to cope with your situation. It sounds like your grandparents are pretty supportive. We are glad to know that you have someone to support you. Something to consider would be to reach out to them and try to discuss a way to start a conversation with your parents. We also have a conference calling service at our 24 hour hotline, where we can moderate a call between you and your parents to make sure that you are being heard and understood. If you would feel comfortable doing that, you can contact us via our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or our online chat service. You can access our chat service via our website 1800runaway.org between 4:30 PM and 11:30 PM CST.

                Best,

                NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Please help me

                  I'm 13 years old. I live with my mom and grandparents. I live with my mom on every weekday expected Thursdays because I stay with my grandparents(legally:court order) and every other weekend i switch off with my grandparents and mom. My mom verbal abuses me calling me names like a little b****, etc. and she slaps me and spanks me. I am an all a student I've been in honor choir for 2 years now and been in choir since the 3rd grade and I play sports and I honestly think I'm not a bad kid and I really need your help. I want to live with my grandparents. It gets so bad at my mom's I have almost ranaway and I almost killed my self... Several times and also I cannot leave with my dad because he does drugs and does illegal things and has warrensts out for his arrest and he is also emtionaly and physically abusive. Please help me

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    re: Please help me

                    If you have contacted NRS today through another means (for example, live chat, email or bulletin) for the same issue, it would be helpful to let us know that you have already contacted us. NRS understands it takes courage to reach out for help; therefore, we would like to minimize the need for you to repeat your situation and avoid offering you duplicate services.

                    Best,
                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      my parents

                      My parents think that i'm joking but i'm not i really want to stay with my grandparents but my parents won't give me that kind of permission what do i do.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        re: my parents

                        Hey there,

                        It sounds like you are pretty serious about going to live with your grandparents. You seem to have your mind made up, even though your parents aren't taking you seriously. We do want to let you know that we aren't legal experts, so we can't say for sure what would happen. In most states if you want to live with them and have them take legal custody of you, you would need your parents consent. If they won't give you that permission, that may not be easy to do. We do try to stay non-directive so anything that you decide is up to you. If you need to speak with us further, you can always contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or via chat on our website from 4:30pm-11:30pm CST.

                        Take care and good luck,
                        NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I don't know what to do

                          So, I used to live in a very small town in Kentucky with my grandparents close and we moved two two or three times and I kept up my grades. Then we moved to Maine and my grades have dropped a lot and my parents are arguing and they don't let me and my brothers even talk most if the time. We get in serious trouble for the simplest things like putting a sponge on the counter. My parents haven't always been the best and my grandparents have always been there for m . I already talked to my grandparents and they said they'd love to take me in. My parents are super strict and they don't know I have two f's yet. I'm too scared to tell them too. I was doing better with my grandparents so I think I'd do better if I moved back with them. Plus, I'd have more freedom. Please help.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: I don't know what to do

                            Hello and thanks for reaching out on our forum. It sounds like moving from Kentucky all the way to Maine has been pretty rough on you and your grades and that things in your household are pretty tense right now. It sounds like your grandparents are a great source of support for you and willing to let you move back to Kentucky. We aren’t legal experts; however, that might be an option if your parents agree or your grandparents look into speaking to a lawyer to see their chances of obtaining custody of you. We also have the ability to look up legal aid resources if cost is of concern for your grandparents. Hopefully that helps and best of luck!
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              visitation rights with grandma

                              I honestly do not know where to start well my dad beat my mom when i was 3 and ever since i only saw my dad every other weekend when i turned 7 my mom passed away from a heart condition and my sister and i were forced to move in with my dad stepmom and half brother they didnt let me see my grandparents so my grandparents went to court for visatation rights we now see them every other weekend the last years living with my dad my sister and i have been physically emotionally and mentally abused ever since cps cane twice things have gottan a little better but there are several things that just arent right my sister is 15 and im 14 if my grandma goes to court to fight for us is there a way we can live with her or what are the options?

                              Comment

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