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  • I don't want to be here anymore.

    I've been putting this off for the longest time, But I can't do it anymore. I'm 16 years old. I'm a girl. I've been told I'm pretty many times over. My mother and step dad support me financially just fine. I get good grades. I was in National Honor Society. I've never once drank, smoked, or done any drugs of any kind. You would think this teenager would be having the time of her life. No. Half of the Time I just want to die. There are so many things flooding through my mind that I can't get out. I have daddy issues, as my biological father left me at a month, lives an hour away, and has not seen me in 16 years. My step dad is verbally abusive. Always yelling, screaming, cursing, and threatening to hit me. I've never majority disobeyed my parents. The worst I have ever done, ever, was a fake Facebook account, that didn't even have anything bad on it. I just didn't want my family on it. That was 4 years ago. I've had a sleep over maybe 3 times in my entire life. I never go out. Ever. I'm always stuck at home as a babysitter. My parents are insanely strict. They tell me when to go to bed, when to brush my teeth, who I can hang out with, who I can or can't be friends with, what times I can text, what I can and can't buy with my own money, and they don't trust me at all. They treat me like I'm 5. My mom's whole side of the family agrees with me. My parents are both so insecure, they get incredibly jealous of each other and tend to stay only to themselves. My family is always telling me my parents are way too hard on me. My aunt says if I ever decide to leave, she's right there and will take me in. My grandma says the same. My step dad is the worst of it all. He tries to keep me from everyone. His other children mainly are all, pardon my language, ******** ups. My step sister is pregnant, on drugs, brother is an alcoholic. They are the bad children. So why am I the one being punished. I've already had several talks with my parents, asking for change, for any freedom. They pretend to understand but nothing changes. Frankly, it pisses me off that I am treated this way. My current boyfriend of two months came over to meet my parents. His mother was late driving him, so my dad assumes that I planned to somehow get around it and go with my boyfriend. He didn't give me a chance to speak, just accused me and stormed out of the house yelling. He came back in to tell,me he didn't ********ing care, and that I was going to get knocked up, and when I did, he was leaving. That when my boyfriend left me, he didn't want to hear anything about it. Cause he doesn't care. I have never done anything more than kiss a boy. I've never had a chance to do anything more, as parents are required to be present on our dates. That was a stupid comment. And I couldn't believe he said that. I have never hated anyone in my life. But he is there. He has broken me down so much That I cannot bare to be here anymore. This house takes it's toll on me. It's led me to suicidal thoughts, that happen still to this day. These family stresses is what caused me to begin cutting two years ago. I cut up to 100 times in one night it got so bad. My parents never once noticed. 8 months ago, I quit. I got myself to a better place. But I'm afraid it will come back if I keep living here. I can't talk to my parents about anything, as much as I try to. And this lowers my self esteem. I'm generally a nice girl, but everyone does me wrong. I've never had a boy who treated me good. Always cheated, lied, dumped me. Everyone does me wrong. So I have trouble trusting anyone. This, along with my bio dad's non existence, is added pressure on top of this family stress. This week, there is a 2 hour delay for students who don't have to take OGTs. My mom said I have to go early every day, and sit for two hours for no reason. Well, this will be the first time in a long time I've seriously disobeyed them. Because I will go in late anyway. My friend is going to take me, and honestly, I couldn't care less about what they think anymore. Please don't think of me as a rebellious heathen. I do respect those who respect me, but this household has none. I'm supposed to take my drivers test Saturday. I've been waiting for forever. I know if I get caught, I won't be taking it for a long time. But I don't even care. I can't take this house anymore. We even fought tonight. This is an everyday occurrence. I'm thinking of leaving tomorrow and not coming home. I'll stay at a friend's maybe until I get a hold of my aunt. I can't do it anymore. They make me want to kill myself. I want to live else where, any where but here. If I just leave, can my aunt take care of me, or could I somehow get emancipated if the court knew what this text contains, even if I don't have a car, job, or home of my own. Could they grant my aunt partial guardianship? I will be 17 in a month, and I live in Ohio. If I cannot live with her, I will leave. I will live where I can, but not here. My grandma told me to wait it out the longest I could. I cannot wait a whole other year until I'm 18. I won't. I need answers before I lose my sanity. Please.. This is a last resort.. Please help me. Give me advice..

  • #2
    RE: I don't want to be here anymore.

    Hey there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS), our biggest concern is to help in whatever way we can and make sure you are safe. If you ever find yourself having suicidal thoughts again, feel free to call the National Suicide Hotline, the number is 1-800-273-TALK or go online at http://www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/. They are a toll free number and are there to talk things through with you.

    From what you have shared with us, we can see that you have quite a lot on your plate, just know that we are here to support you, you are not alone. It sounds like you are a great student and you do your best to be a good kid. It’s great that you are still motivated to be the best you can be. It sounds like your family (aunt and grandma) are a good support system. It’s good to hear you have people on your side to help you through these situations.

    Unfortunately, we are not legal experts here at NRS but from what we have understood, there is no formal emancipation process in Ohio. But if you would like to further explore this option, you can call the Ohio State Legal Services Association, their number is (614) 221-7201.

    In order for your aunt to have parental guardianship of you, your parents are probably going to need to come to an agreement.

    It must be stressful to find out this information, but if you would like to explore further options, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, we are a toll free 24/7 Safeline. We also have a daily live chat session from 4:30 PM to 11:30 PM CST. I hope we were able to help you with your questions and concerns, if not feel free to contact us. Stay strong, we are always here to help you.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Contemplating

      I'm still here. Living in this hell of a house. Debating on what to do. I don't feel safe here anymore. There is verbal, emotional, and some might argue physical abuse. I don't want to be here. I'm 17 now. It hasn't gotten any better. I'm wondering if I file abuse against my step dad will I be able to live elsewhere? I know many people will suggest counseling, but I honestly want nothing to do with my step dad. I feel like he has ruined my childhood.. What little bit of it there was. I have a younger brother, he is 10. If I file against my step dad, will they remove him from the home as well? I don't want to do that to him, and my mom is not abusive. I believe it would be okay for him to stay with her. Though, I have practically raised him. I'm tired of being responsible for a child that I did not birth. He is not my son, he is theirs. I shouldn't be taking care of him. I am planning on calling my local police station today to inquire about possible removal from my home. I still would like your opinion on what you think of this. This is so hard, I just break down crying when I come to the realization that I have a broken family. Well.. I hope you answer. Thank you for your previous response as well.

      Comment


      • #4
        I don't want to be here anymore

        Hello,
        Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline.

        We are sorry to hear that you have been suffering from being abused by your stepdad. No one has the right to abuse you in any manner. We hope that you understand that that what has happened to you is of no fault of your own. Good for you with taking measures to figure out the best plan that will keep you safe. We cannot speak to exactly what other actions might occur from you filing an abuse report. That will be something that is determined by the Child Protective Services department in your area. Their focus is to ensure that the child or children are safe.

        It sounds like you have had quite a lot of experience and responsibility placed on you to care for your younger brother. We hope he appreciates that he has a great sister and ally.
        It’s very dear that you are concerned for him being able to stay with your mom.

        It also sounds like you are planning on going to the police later today and discussing your situation.
        You might consider writing down any questions you might have about your situation just so that you can ask specific questions. Another option to consider is contacting NRS and letting us provide our conference calling service to you. We can contact your local police department and you can ask any questions you might have and still remain anonymous.
        We can also do this with Child Protective Services.
        How does that sound to you?

        You deserve a safe place where you can start to have some peace of mind. Good for you for seeking help.
        There also might be referrals for emergency shelters for youth at risk in our data base.
        We would be glad to assist you with trying to find such resources. How does that sound?

        Counseling is one option NRS might suggest but it can be individual counseling if you think you might be interested.
        Just call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) to inquire about said services and others.
        You can reach us by using any pay phone if you do not have a phone to call from.
        Our number is toll free or go to www.1800Runaway.org and sign in to our live chat session available from 4:30pm until 11:30pm (CST).

        Once again we are sorry that you have been faced with this situation.
        We thank you again for contacting NRS and wish you well.
        Take Care
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I can't do it anymore

          Ever since my stepmother came into my life Its been miserable. She's ripped apart my family and framed my brother for crimes he didn't do, I get in arguments every day with my father about her and we can't even go out to eat without my father asking her consent. I don't feel safe at home anymore, I want to commit suicide, there's so much stress on me every single day. I don't think I can do it anymore. I know this isn't a lot of information but it's the best I can give without having a emotional breakdown from the physical emotional and sicoligoly abusive parents. I hate my father for what he has become, and I only want to get away. Go live with my aunt, I used to live in Massachusetts but my stepmother forces my father to move all the way down to the middle of Tennessee. We have no running toilet, we collect rainwater, we live in a ********ing fith wheel that's practically rotten, there's cockroaches maggots and other stuff everywhere, while my dad bought my stepmother a nice cabin, is building her a new house all for her, and we have to live in this. Please give me advice on what I should do. I hate this. I don't want to live like this anymore.
          Last edited by ccsmod5; 08-18-2015, 07:12 PM.

          Comment


          • #6
            re: I can't do it anymore

            Hey there,

            Thank you for being able to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, it seems like you are going through a pretty tough time at this point in your life and we want you to know that we are here to listen and to help you in the best way that we can. We can’t imagine how hard this all must be on you, but we want you to know that you are an extremely strong and brave person for being able to reach out to us and try to make your situation better. Reaching out for help is definitely the first step, and we are extremely glad that you are able to confide in us.

            You mentioned that you have had suicidal ideations, if at any point you are thinking about suicide again, please feel free to reach out to the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. They also have a live chat service which is available 24/7 as well and could be accessed here: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline...elineChat.aspx

            From what you shared, it sounds like there is some type of abuse and neglect going on at home. We want you to know that you definitely do have options and we are here to help you explore the situations. If at any point you feel unsafe in your home, please remember that you are always allowed to call 911. If you are interested in filing an abuse report, we can potentially help you with this. There are a few ways you can go about filing an abuse report:


            • Contacting your local police department. If you are being abused, you can contact your local police department and an officer can come out to your home and a case worker can potentially be called to the home and file an abuse report with you.
            • Contacting the Child Help USA hotline at 1-800-422-4453, there are counselors available there 24/7 who will be willing to talk to you about the abuse and would be able to give you more information about filing a report and what that looks like.
            • A school counselor/social worker or teacher are typically mandated reporters, which means that if you disclose any abuse to them, they would be mandated to file an abuse report.
            • If you were to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we would also be able to file an abuse report with you. Typically we would contact your counties Child Services agency and walk through that process with you.

            No one ever deserves to be treated the way you have been, we’re sorry you have to experience this. Always remember that you matter and we are here to help you in the best way we can.

            We hope that we were able to inform you with some general information and let you know a little more about what we do. Remember that our hotline is available 24/7 and we are always here to listen and to help. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a live chat service that is available every day from 4:30 PM to 11:30 PM CST. We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

            Stay strong,

            NRS
            Last edited by ccsmod5; 08-18-2015, 07:17 PM.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment

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