16 year old wants to runaway/die please HELP!!

[ButterNut!]

I am 16&1/2 I have been cutting and hurting myself since I was little and I have depression, am scared to fall asleep, have multiple personalities disorder and at least 3 different eating disorders. my brother who is 6 years older than me tried to kill me every time I see him, my "dad" walked out on me and so has most of my family. I share a room with 2 of my sisters and my mom, I sleep in the closet. I have raised myself and my 3 year old sister since she was born. I have been in the hospital 2 times for trying to kill myself and in a lockdown 3 times for cutting. I have ran away to many times to count and have been arrested for it. In my house there is always yelling and fighting. I have been abused since I was almost 3. I have lots of trauma and anger problems. I don't have a phone and have been grounded for the past 6months. I have also been getting in trouble with guys up past 2times my age but am really a lesbian, and I get teased for that too. I will be graduating online high school in 2016 I want to go to college to work on trucks for the oil filed. but also cant stand were I am right now. I want to runaway but cant take my sister with me, I would just try to end it again but really don't want to. I have no were to go but on the streets..... some one please HELP me!!!!!!!!

[ccsmod8]

RE: 16 year old wants to runaway/die please HELP!!

Hello,

Thank you for taking the time out to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. From what you have told us about what has been going on in your life right now, it sounds like things are getting pretty rough for you and its making things hard to cope with. You stated that you have been very depressed, getting to the point where you are engaging in self-harm and even a few suicide attempts. It’s great that you are reaching out to us right now and looking for help in dealing with these feelings you have been experiencing. You’re definitely brave to continue in this struggle and not give up hope on things getting better. Have you told anyone else about what has been going on between your and your family?

It also sounds like you have been thinking about your future and life after graduating from high school. It’s fantastic that you do have a plan set up for yourself and something to look forward to. It just sounds like you are wondering about other options that you might have in terms of alternative housing. Now we do have a database full of different shelters that you might be able to stay with, but the thing to watch out for is that since you are a minor most shelters are required to contact your parents. How do you think your parents would react if you were to leave the house?