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What are my options?

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  • What are my options?

    Okay first of all, I am NOT running away or doing anything like that. So basicly im going to start from the beggining. About 3 and a half years ago around this time my parents separated. My dad was being abusive. He would never buy anything, necesary or not and say that he doesn't have money. He would use it to buy radios ( he is a ham radio hobbyist ) which would cost HIGH amounts of money and because of it me and my mom would have to buy cheap clothes, little food and a rarely ever buy any lesuire related stuff ( toys, nice clothes, school supplies that wouldn't break in just a week, hair dye etc. ) My mom also became over weight. It was because of my dad being abusive to her. He would also abuse us both mentally and physically(though not very often) For example, he has a tick? He turns every conversation around on ANYONE and ALWAYS has the last word. I dont know if he got it from his mother because she was mentally ill. I looked it up and its this thing where the person would always manipulate you into thinking your wrong. For example, "I didn't know they opened up that store" he would then say "well if you werent so lazy you would know". He also very anti-social, Literally speaking he only had like 3 friends which were more aquaintences then long lasting friendships. He doesnt like going out, talking, and is in his radio room all day. So everytime we did talk to him he had these violent outburst where he would always be angry at us for no reason and would throw things and Rarely hit us. So fast forward a bit me and my mom left the house and returned to New Jersey. At the momment she told me she was going to do it years ago but didnt want me growing up without a father. So we went to live with my twin uncles. It was the BEST year of my life. I had so many friends and did so many social things I would have never done with my dad. And my mom was so happy. Everything was okay until the second year when all the court stuff and we got our own apartment next to my uncles apartment. I visted my dad in Arizona, he moved from pensilvania. He hadn't changed at all so we had problems to the point where I punched him for abusing my mom so much. I had never been violent like that to anyone, but trust me im not violent. He went to the point of hiding WATER AND FOOD from me in ARIZONA. I snapped but thankfully the summer ended and i came back home. So basicly because of all those years of abuse we had we obiously subconciently picked up my dads problems. We would fight and my mom would turn my whole family against me and eventually one day she said I hit her. I was surprised because when i came back from school and was doing my homework several police cars and an ambulence parked outside. They then burst open and arrested me. I was so scared because it happend so quick. They then told me what my mom had told them and they sent me to a clinic to "evaluate me" but obiously I had nothing but still because nothing could be proven I had to go to therapy because otherwise I would have to go to jail. I still couldn't believe it. That very day my life changed so much. My family hated me and i had to go to therapy everyday after school. I lost so many friends because they thought I had moved or didn't want to talk to them anymore. A few months later the "therapy" ended. I had met so many people that actually had mental problems so I was glad the therapy ended because the kids there would do drugs, would halucinate, cut, and where vionlent. So the school year ended and was glad but again I left for the summer. I visted mexico and my grandparents and my other uncle treated me so well I even considered staying but i left. Before i left my uncle and my mom visited for a week and they picked me up but i noticed the difference so quickly between them. A loving family and a non loving. So the summer ended ( summer before this one ) and the year was great outside of home but same thing happend and my mom got me arrested again. This time I think it went on my record. So the last remaining months before i had to go live with my dad because of it were the best of my life because she had left me completely alone. She would be in the next appartment but i was virtually alone. I had taken the time to learn arts. Discovered the beatles and started learning the history of music and I had a schedual for my weeks. School, Homework, Cook, Clean, take bath, and free time for the rest of the day. I started watching anime and completely redid my life. I even started a self improvement program for myself (which im still doing to this day) of being healthy in every aspect of my life and having fun while having responsiblilties of course. I had even learned to forgive my mom for what she did. Unfortunatly, the last week came and i barely had time to say goodbye to New Jersey, my friends, and my family didnt even say goodbye. So this march i came to live with my dad who moved to the mexican side of the border in california(across the continent basicly) so again he haddnt changed and did the same no food thing and her "girlfriend" also treats me bad when im here. Exactly like in Pennsilvania, and now im so stressed again to the point where im losing hair, and am locked in my room to avoid them. I havent even started school yet. I was going here but its in spanish and im semi good at it. So right now i havent started school and its halfway though october and it was supposed to be my first year in highschool but im not sure whats going to happen. I was going to return to new jersey when school ended here but my mom didnt want me so i have no contact with her and Im afraid of fainting or something becuase i just get so stressed about the fact that im stuck in the same mess as 3 years ago but worse. like right know i have a major headache. i dont know what to do i want to leave here before i faint or something but my mom doesnt want me. what are my options? i have been thinking of emancipation but im only 14(15 on the 25th) and adoption is EXTREMELY unlikely and i wouldnt want to do that. What can i do? I have very limited food and am in such stress right now. im going to confront my dad and her girlfriend tomorrow or today technically since its 4 am right now. Please help what can i do, since im in mexico but in the border can i cross and then take action? again im not running away i just found this site and i need help on what to do. What are my options? Sorry for the long typing but i really needed to get this out and this might be the last legitimate option i have. If you need any more info like adresses or email or anything of the sort then please tell me. Thank you for listening.

  • #2
    What are my options?


    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.
    We like to acknowledge what a fine job you did on the events that have happened over the past years to present. We hope that being able to express your feelings may have relieved some of the stress you have been feeling. It is never okay for one person to abuse another. You do not deserve to be abused or neglected. We are so sorry that the relationship between you and your parents is not in a better situation.

    It might help if you were able to call 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or visit our website and sign into NRS live chat to speak about your situation.
    NRS live chat is available from 4:30pm until 11:30pm (CST).
    If you would like some legal and or other information/ referrals we can look into our data base to try and locate services in your area.

    In the meantime is there any other family members you can reach out to for help?
    You mentioned that you stayed with a few relatives in the past so perhaps they might be willing to let you stay with them again.
    We understand how frustrating and hurt this situation has left you to feel.
    We are glad you found NRS to vent your frustrations.
    How are you feeling?

    It sounds like you have a self-imposed plan for improvement that seems to be helping.
    Good for you. That’s a huge step in being positive in spite of your surroundings.

    Keep it up. Another option might be seeking support through counseling or therapy.
    There may also be the possibility of getting Child Protective Services involved if you would like to make an abuse report.
    To get information on where and how to file a child abuse report you can contact Child Help USA: 1-800-422-4564
    Since 1959 Childhelp has existed to meet the physical, emotional, educational and spiritual needs of abused, neglected and at-risk children.

    How does that sound?

    We would certainly like to assist you anyway that we can so remember you can contact NRS 24hrs a day.

    Take Care

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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