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My mom is too controlling I want to move out and live with my boyfriend.

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  • My mom is too controlling I want to move out and live with my boyfriend.

    I'm 19 years old and I live with my mom and step dad. I'm currently a student and I'm trying to get a part-time job. But my mom doesn't want me to work. I have a boyfriend and he's 21. He lives with his parents and sister to help support them. He works two jobs. His family is very loving. I'm reaching a point in my life where I want to make my own decisions. But my mom still wants to control me like I'm 12 yrs old. She won't even let me hangout with my boyfriend. I'm a good girl who doesn't do reckless things and my boyfriend is the same. Its like my mom doesn't trust me but I haven't done anything that would lose her trust. Every time I try to talk to her about it she gets mad and starts yelling. My mom is the type that thinks she's always right. I know she's my mom and I still live under my parents roof but I think I should be able to decide things for myself and not have to ask permission if I can go out. I'm already 19. I want to move out but even she's against it. My boyfriend's parents are fine with me living with them. I can leave right?

  • #2
    Re: My mom is too controlling I want to move out and live with my boyfriend.

    Hi there,

    Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been going through a lot at home and we are sorry to hear about this. We are here to help you out the best that we can.

    So it sounds like you have great support from your boyfriend and his family which is really good to hear. It sounds like a really frustrating situation to be living with your mom when she is so controlling over what you do and who you see. It seems like you are still trying to be respectful of her wishes because you are still living under her roof, which seems fair. You said that every time you try to talk about this with your mom, she starts yelling. It has got to be hard to be attempting to communicate your concerns and feelings with your mom and be shut down like that.

    Here at National Runaway Safeline, we offer conference calling with youth and guardians. How that works is, if you were to call into our 24/7 hotline at 1800runaway (786 2929), we could make a call out to a guardian with you on the line to facilitate a conversation between the two of you, to make sure that you are being heard in everything that you want to communicate. We aim to make these conference calls productive, so we want to make sure that each party has a fair chance to speak and be responded to.

    You asked if you can move into your boyfriend’s parents’ house. In most states, the legal age of an adult is 18. Since you are 19, you likely have this right to make your own decisions. One thing that might be good to think about is what would happen if you ever wanted to go back home and stay with her in the future. Do you think that if you were to move in with your boyfriend and his family, your relationship with your mom would improve or worsen? Again, once you are a legal adult you have the right to make any and all decisions for yourself under the law. This might just be something to think about while deciding your next steps.

    We are here 24/7, and our line is anonymous and confidential. We are here to support you in any way that we can. If you would like to discuss your situation further, or discuss more options we are here.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST and can be accessed here:



    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    Tell us what you think about your experience!

    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

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