Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I'm 16, I hate living with my grandparents, and I want to leave?

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    I'm confused. My grandmother is over-protective, and she's always leaving to go be with my great-grandmother. She threatened to take my stuff away. She and my grandfather argue, all the time. My grandfather is so confusing. It is ridiculous! One time, he's being funny making me glad about life. The next, he's a stubborn, angry **********. He and my father remind me of how much I want to kill myself. Today, is he's birthday and I hope it is horrible. I was forced to go. I will not care if he dies. ******** him.

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello, Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are having issues at home with your family. It is understandable that you would want to leave a place where your grandmother is being overprotective and there is constant arguing. Living in a place with all of this hostility can be draining on you. If you would like to talk more about what you are experiencing you are more than welcome to give us a call so we can discuss your options. 1-800-786-2929
      Additionally, since you mentioned that you have been thinking about suicide, one resources that we thing could be of some use to you is The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
      We hope this response was helpful! If you would like to use any of our services please feel free to give us a call anytime. 1-800-786-2929 we’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think

  • #17
    Hi.... i dont care to tell my name but im gonna be 17 in 2 weeks. See my mom left when i was 14 and my dad signed away rights when i was a baby. Im not happy where i live and my boyfriend is willing to take me in. Im afraid my gma will send me to a group home if i try.... im not sure what to do.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thanks for reaching out to us. We’re so sorry to hear that you’re not happy where you’re living. It sounds like your boyfriend and his family are a really great source of support, and you’re wondering if you can move in with them without your grandmother sending you away to a group home. We can’t tell you what to do, but we can review options that you might have available to you.

      One option you have is to try to approach your grandma about what’s keeping you from feeling at home and happy where you are. If you feel like you need help talking to her, maybe asking a trusted adult, like one of your boyfriend’s parents, to be there to mediate might help you feel supported. Beyond that, you always have the option of calling us. We can help you practice what you’d like to say, and if you feel like you’d like to call her to talk about what’s been going on, we can be there as a part of a conference call if you’d like us there.

      If you decide to leave to go to your boyfriend’s house without your grandma’s consent, and you’re considered a minor in your state, she would have the right to file a runaway report. We’re not legal experts, but from what we understand, although it’s not technically illegal to run away, it is considered a status offense in some states. Depending on where you live, the local police may go out and look for you, they might not. If they find you, they might bring you back to your grandma or have her pick you up. Although it’s not illegal for you to run away, anyone you stay with can be charged with harboring a runaway or aiding and abetting a minor, both considered misdemeanors. Your local police department can tell you whether they’d take the report and, if they do, what happens after that. It’s unclear what steps she would need to take to send you to a group home, but your local children and family services office might be able to give you more information on that.

      Thank you so much for reaching out to us. Know that we are here for you, and you can reach us by phone 24/7 at 800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) or by chat from 4:30pm – 11:30pm CST. We’re here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

      -NRS

  • #18
    The first question should be is why do all these kids live with the grandparents to begin with? All parents are willing for the kids to come home now. But there is a reason of some sort that you are not there. The grandparents are not able to be just the grandparents. They are now in the parent role which is very difficult for you to understand as well as them. They have seen alot change and have had experiences that you have not experienced yet. So in some cases they know the out come of everything that you are trying to get by with. But also you need to experience some of that stuff to grow and learn. It is hard not to try to protect someone that you know if they step out in front of that bus they will die. Even if you threaten punishment of grounding or taking phones. I was raised by my grandparents at different times in my life. Mine was because my mom worked and dad was on drugs and never around and there were to many of us. I am now raising 3 granddaughters. And the reason are bad choices from the parents but the responsibility I took on because I love my grandchildren and so they could keep in contact with parents and not end up in the state custody. But sometimes the parents make it difficult. Do not choose suicide there are so many children that die everyday starving on the streets. You can get thru this.

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for your response and for sharing your story. Thank you for your words of encouragement for those considering suicide. For youth who are feeling in danger of hurting or killing themselves, they could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) for support, or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255; suicidepreventionlifeline.org). Though we here at the National Runaway Safeline are non-directive, we are here to support youth, parents, and grandparents in any way we can. We’re here 24/7 and we’re always here to listen and here to help.

  • #19
    I hate living with my grandparents

    I am a girl, and just turned 13
    this month. I lived with my dad and my mom for 7 years in Illinois but my dad was very mean to me and my mom he tried spanking me with a belt when I was only 4 and he broke my mom's big toenail and he broke nearly every single door in the house trying to fight with my mom and me. My parents are divorced. After 7 years of living there me and my Mom finally got away and moved to California where we live in our grandma's house with my grandpa. All the time I've stayed here has been a living hell because my grandma is extremely nosey and tries to know everything me and my mom do, like when we go out to go somewhere to eat or go to a friend's house. I've been through way too much and I do not deserve any of this she is very mean and bossy and she screams at my mom for when the dog Sammy, a 14 year old golden retriever barks when we are not there because has separation anxiety when me and my mom leave somewhere. We can never be gone starting at 7:00 because of Sammy. She is very very mean to my grandpa and yells at him for not listening even though he knows that he has hearing problems. Me and my mom want tell Grandma to stop being rude but my mom is afraid that she will kick us out of the house and get very angry. My uncle just recently is going to lose his job in 50 days because a company is buying the hotel that he works at but he and the people who work there may have another chance of getting their jobs back. Also my uncle is very annoying he has 2 storage units in an apartment full of crap which he was supposed to live in apartment but it's full of stuff since he is a hoarder so some nights he spends here snoring which I cannot sleep and some nights he spends at the hotel he works at in a room. If my mom trys to get a job it's most likely going to be very hard because she wants to be a teacher because thats what she was in Illinois. My mom only has at least a few thousands of dollars saved up. I hate this house so much and I want to move away. We cant get a house or an apartment because most Apartments cost $2,700 and also my mom's friend used to live at an apartment that cost that much money and I moved to Canada because it was too much for her to afford. And also the houses cost at least a million dollars, the house is around here do. We can't live somewhere else because then it's out of the school that I'm going to's limmit on where you have to live so if we moved to somewhere more afordable i wouldn't get to go to the same good school my friends are going to. My friends dont ever understand me and my best friend who is a girl is very anoying. My mom took my ipad away because she said i was talking with dangerous people but i was only taking to my only understanding friends on Amino. It has been a month and I STILL dont have the ipad! I am typing on the tablet, hopping my mom wont find out. I dont have a phone. My gma and uncle fight a lot down stairs yelling and cussing at each other so then the only safe place I have to hide is the closet because my room is under construction durring thr day(I have to clean up all the Dust the workers left on my floor, pillows, and bed and rearange my moved items). I really want to move away and me and my mom was thinking about moving to Las Vegas where she already found a good job but i dont want to leave my friends. If i put any of my items somewhere my grandma and granpa will complain i am taking up all the space so i am forced to put all of my small amount of items compared to my friends cramed in droors and under my bed in piles. My mom then complains its messy and trys to throw it away and breaks my stuff. Whats more important? My friends, school, and neighborhood, or living in Las Vegas, starting my life fresh for the 3rd time in my life? Please help. I fear i will spend the rest of my life until im 18 living with my grandparents, and i cant take this much longer.

    Comment


    • ccsmod11
      ccsmod11 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thanks for reaching out. All of these struggles you've mentioned sound like they could be putting a lot of stress onto you and we understand why you would consider leaving home. We won't judge you for whatever decision you make. We suggest you think about what will keep you safest in the event that your mother does decide to move. You may want to think if you have the resources available to live on your own or with your grandparents if your mother decides to leave, or if you would have more resources available to you in Las Vegas. You may also want to think about whether it will be possible for you to make new friends and get a good education in Las Vegas - we have faith that our callers are able to do what they put their minds to. If you need more help, then please reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929, or on our live chat at 1800runaway.org

      Best,
      NRS

  • #20
    I love my grandma but hate my grandpa help pls and I want to go back with my mom ima see if I can move back and that would make my life much better. But the problem is I wanna leave my grandpa but I don't wanna leave my grandma what do I do

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there, thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like it is a tough situation going on at home between the different relationship dynamics you have with your each of your grandparents. It seems like there has been some custody changes in the past and you are still in a positive relationship with your mom. One thing we do offer here is a conference calling service where we could mediate a conversation between you and your grandparents about any conflicts that you are having and see if we could find compromise or have a constructive conversation surround things you are having a hard time with. We are here to listen and support you any way that we can. For us to better support you it may be good for us to understand a little more through you chatting with us online or calling us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY or through our website at www.1800runaway.org

  • #21
    What if I live with my grandparents and have since I was 4 and my mom is back in my life and I want to live with her. Can I live with my mom without my grandparents telling me no???

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to NRS. We appreciate you reaching out to us about the situation you are in. From what we understand about your situation it sounds like you want to live with your mom even though you have lived with your grandparents. While you might want to live now with your mom it is difficult to switch custody. If your grandparents have custody of you it’s because your mom might have been deemed unfit to have you. If you wish to be transferred over to your mom you might have to talk to her about hiring a lawyer who might be able to help
      We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      Be safe, NRS

  • #22
    I don’t know how to come forward but my family was having some problems so I came to my grandparents and I’m feeling home sick and I wanna go back to my family but I don’t know how to tell them I’m upset that I’ll hurt their feelings! What should I do

    Comment


    • ccsmod0
      ccsmod0 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you are currently living with your grandparents but you would really like to go back to living with your immediate family. Being caught between two homes can be frustrating, we are glad that you contacted us.
      Perhaps you can consider using our conference calling service, this is a service where you would call us and we would hold a conference call between you and your parents to talk about how both sides are feeling. We would serve as mediators, we are not here to necessarily choose sides but rather help come up with a solution that would make the situation at home better. This might be helpful to you if you have concerns about your parents not listening or not being open to hear what you have to say. If you feel like this is a service that you would find useful you can give us a call and one of our trained liner will be happy to assist you.
      Additionally, making a list of pros and cons as to why you’d like to leave could be helpful, especially in showing your family how much consideration you have given it. It could also help you come up with a compelling enough argument, to convince them.
      We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. If there is anything that you think we can do to help, please let us know. 1-800-786-2929
      Best wishes,
      NRS

  • #23
    Hello, im 36 yo. I have some questions. My mom and step dad forged my signature and took my son. Ive been in a bad depressed because of this. Mothers day just came and my son that is 15 now he called me after four years. He told me that he has been missing me and talking to me since my mom and step dad try to keep me and my son from talking. He told me that he did this on his own and ask his cousin for my number to call me. When we were talking on the phone he told me MOM im leaving nothing but f****** hell here which is at my mom and step dads house. He told me he has been unhappy there ever since this happened to us with not able to see or talk to eachother. He told me that he has been hurting and doesnt like it there and wants me. What can i do, for him to come to me without there say so. Please help

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. After looking over your information it is important that you seek a lawyer/ case worker to see if they might let you have custody of your son. Again not saying anything might result in charges against you or even remove the option of ever obtaining custody of him. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.
      Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
      If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe, NRS

  • #24
    I'm 17 and I hate living with my grandparents because they do not know how I feel. My mom committed suicide when I was 6 and I was staying with my grandparents till I was 8. My dad did not give my grandparents any money to take care of me so my grandparents when to court to ask for money legally and my dad could not pay so he took me away one day in school and put me in a home. I was very scared because it was a new environment for me but I stayed there until I was 12. But after 12 I could not stay there anymore so my father decided to bring me back to my grandma. At first it was ok but after awhile I started crying everyday because my cousins have everything and I don't. I don't even have money to buy new clothes and stuff and I always argue with my grandma and I don't even feel like I fit in in the family and I feel like an outsider and everytime I stay there it reminds me of my mom and what's worse is that I'm not allowed to be sad if my mom pass away wow and I'm just suppose to study and be happy according to my grandma because she "provides me with everything" which is not true at all because I use my own money to buy my own things and she only cooks and I only eat it during lunch and sometimes I don't even eat and most of the time I'm just in my room and I totally hate my cousins because they just take advantage of me and look down on me because I don't have a mother but according to my grandma I still have to apologise to them and talk to them and attend functions that they will be in and I basically just hate my life and I don't know what to do

    Comment


    • ccsmod15
      ccsmod15 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thanks for reaching out to us. We’re so sorry to hear that things have been so challenging for you. It sounds like you haven’t felt a lot of empathy from your grandma or your other relatives, and it makes it really difficult to be comfortable living there. We can understand how that challenging that might be for you, and we can go through a few options with you that might help you figure out your next steps.

      In your message, it sounds like there’s been a lot of changes in your life since your mom’s death. Sometimes having someone to talk to about that loss can help make other stressful situations feel more manageable. In your message, you talk about how your family doesn’t allow you to be sad about the situation, and we’re so sorry to hear that you haven’t been supported. Someone like a school social worker, or a school psychologist, might be good to reach out to if you feel like you need to talk about everything that went on regarding your mom. Another option might be to find out whether there are any low cost or free grief support groups in your area, so that you can have a space to talk about your sadness with others that have experienced loss.

      It sounds like you’ve tried addressing your situation with your grandma, but she doesn’t see the situation the same way you do. We understand how that can be frustrating, and it sounds like the whole situation has made it challenging to get along with your extended family. One option you might have is to explore whether there are ways to limit the amount of time you spend with extended family, by doing things like getting involved in after school or extracurricular activities. If there’s a good friend that you can spend time with, perhaps exploring whether your grandmother would let you have periodic sleepovers just to get some space would help.

      Whatever you decide, know that we are here for you. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay safe with whatever you decide to do. You can reach out to us 24/7 by phone at 800.RUNAWAY (786.2929). We are also available every day via chat. We’re here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

      -NRS

  • #25
    I am expecting similar. My grandparents forget my birthday, I haven’t seen them in 2 years and they are not treating my dad they way he needs to be. I am glad I know I am not the only one out there with grandparent problems

    Comment


    • #26
      I’m 16, and I live with my grandparents. I go through hell and tears everyday. My wasn’t stable at that moment when she had me, but now she’s a healthy mid 30 year old with two kids 11 and 8. My grandparents are holding me back and I sometimes get suicidal thoughts. I just want to live my teenage years with my mom, like any other teenager.

      Comment


      • ccsmod7
        ccsmod7 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like you are in a tricky situation staying with your grandparents and wanting to live with your mom. It's clear that this has taken a toll on you and we really want to be a support during this difficult time.

        You mentioned that you get suicidal thoughts. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help, and we are so glad that you did. Your life has worth and our top priority is your safety. If you feel this is an emergency you could consider calling 911 for emergency assistance. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we can help you find resources that can help you cope with these feelings. You do not have to face this alone, and there is so much help out there for you. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can check them out at www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or you can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support any time. You can also call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you need to talk.

        If you haven't already, you might try to talk to your mom about living with her again. She might be able to talk to your grandparents or go to court for you.

        Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

        If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        We hope to hear from you soon.

        Be safe and stay strong,

        NRS
        Last edited by ccsmod7; 06-29-2019, 03:15 AM.

    • #27
      I live with my grandparents and I'm 14 and I hate living with my grandparents Like I don't want to any more they talk bad about my mom and I don't like it I feel like they tell me what to say when I talk to my mom I either want to go back to my mom or either a group home don't care I just want out of this house as soon as possible.
      what can I do ???????????????? I started to cut myself and I don't tell anyone not even my closest friend

      Comment


      • ccsmod2
        ccsmod2 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,
        We’re very glad you decided to reach out to us. It’s very brave of you to ask for help or advice.
        It sounds like living with your grandparents is getting very stressful. That must be very difficult for you. Have you talked to anyone about how you’re feeling at home? Maybe a friend, teacher, or another family member? Sometimes talking about what’s going on at home with someone you trust can be very helpful. There are a lot of options and resources out there for you that we could definitely discuss in more detail if you’d like to call or message us. You also mentioned self-harm, which is something else you could talk about with us or a trusted friend/adult. We want you to know that you are not alone during this time. It sounds like you are going through a really rough time and might want to talk to a professional who is equipped to help and support you. If this is something you’d like, you could call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-587-4357.
        Again, we are here to support you a best as we can and would love to discuss what’s going on more in depth with you. If you’d like to talk with us, feel free to call us at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat service at www.1800runaway.org.
        Take care,
        NRS

    • #28
      I’m a 12 year old girl and i’m so fed up with living with my great grandparents. my grandma and grandpa argue EVERY DAY! And i’m just sitting in the other room trying to drown them out with my music. then my grandma takes her anger out on me. She constantly is yelling at me or someone else. It’s caused me to have thoughts of killing myself twice. One time it was so bad that i had to stay at a mental hospital for 3 days. I had to have someone with me at all time. instead of being worried and frightened she was soo mad at me. ive only lived there for 4 years ( I lived with my moms mom all my life.) ( also my dad and my mom were drug adicts but they both still love me. My father is currently in a fire camp and my mother lives with her boyfriend) living there has been like living in HELL. i’m seriously going to call CPS To deal with this.

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello there, thank you for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are having a hard time living with your great grandparents. I am sorry that you have to deal with getting yelled at, you don’t deserve that. You are so brave for looking to get support and we are here to help in any way that we can.

        I would like to address that you mentioned staying at a mental hospital and having thoughts about suicide. We have some available resources that may potentially help you if you are interested. If you find yourself in immediate danger, the first resource is to call 9-1-1. Another resource for discussing thoughts about suicide would be the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline and their number is 1-800-273-8255. In terms of mental illness, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) is another possible resource that may be of use to you and their number is 1-800-950-6264. I hope that these are helpful to you.

        Again, we are so glad that you chose to reach out to us, it takes a lot of courage to ask for help. It is so good to see that you are looking for guidance and considering different options that may support you. If you would like to talk more about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We are available 24/7 and our number is 1-800-786-2929. We are always here to listen and support you in any way that we can.

    • #29
      I feel the same way I don't really like it either I live with grandparents I just can't take it just their additude I'm 17 I run away slot and I can't take their arguments either

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks so much for reaching out and sharing a little bit about what’s been going on, we know that it takes a lot of courage. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

        It seems like maybe your grandparents realize how much their attitude and arguments are impacting you. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your grandparents so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

        If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

        Stay safe,
        NRS

        We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
    Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
    Auto-Saved
    x
    Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
    x
    or Allowed Filetypes: jpg, jpeg, png, gif
    x
    x
    Working...
    X