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Running away to my grandparents?

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  • #16
    Hi i'm a 13yrs old male and i have been thinking abut three things Suicide, Running away, and the worst Killing my mom and her boyfriend. Okay so 4 months back my mom introduce her boyfriend i didn't care i didn't have a lot of friends so i used gaming and social media for them but my mom is annoying and caused me a lot of anxiety, so i stayed up one night IN SUMMER so i got on punishment by her boyfriend that i legit just meet 2 weeks ago that practically live with us and i was like OK i can get of punishment in a week like usual but that didn't happen of course but this is where everything falls apart so i have a big issue of bottling up my feeling and leaving them for ammo so last year i exploded and that got my but to a one way ticket to MH or "Mental Hospital" so this time it was about suicide i just straight up tackled my mom out of peer pressure and exploded but here comes the BAD part last month i forgot to do something (ADHD) so can't watch no TV after school PLUS THE BOYFRIEND SAID THAT!, so i was like ok so i can watch TV during lunch so i'm watching TV here the bf he starts yelling at me see when i get mad i cry because either that i'm sparing your life or i'm in a rage so while he is yelling i'm on the phone with grandma after he stops yelling i'm in Terminator mode and i say to my grandma "i'm killing them both" BUT~ grandma said no and she said we are coming to talk to mom in a nice and PEACEFUL way (btw my mom sat there listen to him yell that's why i said "i'm killing them both") they come i take my dog out the BF comes out with me then he starts talking smack and my grandma don't play that (did i tell you i'm black) so nana aka grandma explodes my papa aka grandpa tried to go upstairs but BF blocked them but made them more made and you can see where this went and the only two people that helped me relaxed can't talk to but i have a therapist but its wired The End. (my mom said i need to say my felling so i don't explode but they are about her so that's why i said the only two people and i cant even do that BC)

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    • ccsmod13
      ccsmod13 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,

      Thank you for taking the time to share your situation with us here at NRS. It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot of stress at home and it is normal to feel overwhelmed by that. Using NRS as a safe space to vent and let those feelings out was a really good step. You mentioned that your grandparents have also been supportive in the past and have been trying to help mediate conversations between you and your mother. It must be very frustrating you are not able to talk to them at the moment, but they do seem to care a lot about you and your safety. You deserve to be getting the support that you need to feel safe. Perhaps a helpful strategy could be to write out your feelings as an outlet. It can be a way to avoid keeping everything bottled up but it also gives you an opportunity to process your feelings before sharing them with your mom.

      Additionally, you can chat with a counselor anytime at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. This is a resource available to you 24/7 as an outlet for your emotions and safe space to brainstorm coping strategies to use when home is getting overwhelming.

      We are here to support you 24/7 if you ever want to talk more about your situation and explore options for getting more support at home. We can best help by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.

  • #17
    Hello, I am about to turn 12 and I have been thinking about running away from home. I feel unsafe here and most of my anxiety attacks have been caused by my mother and her boyfriend. They yell and scream whenever I make a mistake. I know I may be young, but I do indeed feel safer at my grandmothers, and I am thinking on running away. They also come home drunk and yell and argue with each other, which causes me more trauma since they do throw glass bottles and throw stuff around. It has gotten to extreme extent at times where one would come out scratched up or bleeding. I am not sure if I have much of a valid reason to run away. But I have a plan to the extent of me not being able to get caught running away.

    Comment


    • ccsmod3
      ccsmod3 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like things at home, especially between your mother and her boyfriend can get pretty intense. Feeling safe where we live is important, and we're sorry to hear that you don't feel that way at home.

      Running away is a pretty big decision, and it's generally a good idea to have a plan in place before committing to it, which it seems like you're trying to do now. It's great that staying with your grandma might be an option, though it's important to consider a few things before going that route. If you decide to runaway and stay with your grandma without consent from your mother, it's possible that your grandma could get into legal trouble for allowing you to stay with her. Before you decide to take that step, making sure that you and grandma have a solid understanding of how those laws work in your state is probably a good idea. You might be able to work through this situation by having a conversation with mom and seeing if she'll give you permission to stay with your grandma. If the laws in your state are unclear, consider consulting with an attorney to determine appropriate (and safe) next steps.

      Because you've described living in an environment that sounds pretty traumatic due to alcohol use, it might be a good idea to reach out to Child Protective Services (CPS) to file an abuse report. Their job is to ensure that you're safe in your home, and if you're not, to decide what steps should be taken in order to make sure that you are. If this is something that you're interested in doing, you can file a report on your own, by contacting us here at NRS for support, or by telling a safe person more about what's going on (like a teacher, school counselor, therapist, etc.). Each person that I've listed is considered a Mandated Reporter and has a legal obligation to contact CPS when there are any suspicions or indications of abuse. We understand that moving forward in this process can be scary, but want you to know that your safety and wellbeing is important. These are folks who will prioritize that. If you have any questions about filing a report, what it entails, or would like to learn more about the different forms of abuse in general, Childhelp is another great resource to utilize. They're a child abuse hotline and you can reach out to them by texting or calling 1-800-422-4453, or by chatting with them live at www.childhelp.org. One additional resource that might be helpful is the National Association for Children of Addiction (NACoA) who work with young folks with parents who are addicts. You can reach out to them by calling 1-888-425-2666.

      If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on or continue to explore some of your options with us, please feel free to reach out directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live through our website at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.
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