Running away to my grandparents?

[Guest]

Hi i'm a 13yrs old male and i have been thinking abut three things Suicide, Running away, and the worst Killing my mom and her boyfriend. Okay so 4 months back my mom introduce her boyfriend i didn't care i didn't have a lot of friends so i used gaming and social media for them but my mom is annoying and caused me a lot of anxiety, so i stayed up one night IN SUMMER so i got on punishment by her boyfriend that i legit just meet 2 weeks ago that practically live with us and i was like OK i can get of punishment in a week like usual but that didn't happen of course but this is where everything falls apart so i have a big issue of bottling up my feeling and leaving them for ammo so last year i exploded and that got my but to a one way ticket to MH or "Mental Hospital" so this time it was about suicide i just straight up tackled my mom out of peer pressure and exploded but here comes the BAD part last month i forgot to do something (ADHD) so can't watch no TV after school PLUS THE BOYFRIEND SAID THAT!, so i was like ok so i can watch TV during lunch so i'm watching TV here the bf he starts yelling at me see when i get mad i cry because either that i'm sparing your life or i'm in a rage so while he is yelling i'm on the phone with grandma after he stops yelling i'm in Terminator mode and i say to my grandma "i'm killing them both" BUT~ grandma said no and she said we are coming to talk to mom in a nice and PEACEFUL way (btw my mom sat there listen to him yell that's why i said "i'm killing them both") they come i take my dog out the BF comes out with me then he starts talking smack and my grandma don't play that (did i tell you i'm black) so nana aka grandma explodes my papa aka grandpa tried to go upstairs but BF blocked them but made them more made and you can see where this went and the only two people that helped me relaxed can't talk to but i have a therapist but its wired The End. (my mom said i need to say my felling so i don't explode but they are about her so that's why i said the only two people and i cant even do that BC)

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for taking the time to share your situation with us here at NRS. It sounds like you have been dealing with a lot of stress at home and it is normal to feel overwhelmed by that. Using NRS as a safe space to vent and let those feelings out was a really good step. You mentioned that your grandparents have also been supportive in the past and have been trying to help mediate conversations between you and your mother. It must be very frustrating you are not able to talk to them at the moment, but they do seem to care a lot about you and your safety. You deserve to be getting the support that you need to feel safe. Perhaps a helpful strategy could be to write out your feelings as an outlet. It can be a way to avoid keeping everything bottled up but it also gives you an opportunity to process your feelings before sharing them with your mom.

Additionally, you can chat with a counselor anytime at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. This is a resource available to you 24/7 as an outlet for your emotions and safe space to brainstorm coping strategies to use when home is getting overwhelming.

We are here to support you 24/7 if you ever want to talk more about your situation and explore options for getting more support at home. We can best help by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or through live chat at 1800runaway.org.

[Guest]

Hello, I am about to turn 12 and I have been thinking about running away from home. I feel unsafe here and most of my anxiety attacks have been caused by my mother and her boyfriend. They yell and scream whenever I make a mistake. I know I may be young, but I do indeed feel safer at my grandmothers, and I am thinking on running away. They also come home drunk and yell and argue with each other, which causes me more trauma since they do throw glass bottles and throw stuff around. It has gotten to extreme extent at times where one would come out scratched up or bleeding. I am not sure if I have much of a valid reason to run away. But I have a plan to the extent of me not being able to get caught running away.

[ccsmod3]

Hey there. Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that it can take a lot of courage to reach out for support, and we're glad you took that step. It sounds like things at home, especially between your mother and her boyfriend can get pretty intense. Feeling safe where we live is important, and we're sorry to hear that you don't feel that way at home.

Running away is a pretty big decision, and it's generally a good idea to have a plan in place before committing to it, which it seems like you're trying to do now. It's great that staying with your grandma might be an option, though it's important to consider a few things before going that route. If you decide to runaway and stay with your grandma without consent from your mother, it's possible that your grandma could get into legal trouble for allowing you to stay with her. Before you decide to take that step, making sure that you and grandma have a solid understanding of how those laws work in your state is probably a good idea. You might be able to work through this situation by having a conversation with mom and seeing if she'll give you permission to stay with your grandma. If the laws in your state are unclear, consider consulting with an attorney to determine appropriate (and safe) next steps.

Because you've described living in an environment that sounds pretty traumatic due to alcohol use, it might be a good idea to reach out to Child Protective Services (CPS) to file an abuse report. Their job is to ensure that you're safe in your home, and if you're not, to decide what steps should be taken in order to make sure that you are. If this is something that you're interested in doing, you can file a report on your own, by contacting us here at NRS for support, or by telling a safe person more about what's going on (like a teacher, school counselor, therapist, etc.). Each person that I've listed is considered a Mandated Reporter and has a legal obligation to contact CPS when there are any suspicions or indications of abuse. We understand that moving forward in this process can be scary, but want you to know that your safety and wellbeing is important. These are folks who will prioritize that. If you have any questions about filing a report, what it entails, or would like to learn more about the different forms of abuse in general, Childhelp is another great resource to utilize. They're a child abuse hotline and you can reach out to them by texting or calling 1-800-422-4453, or by chatting with them live at www.childhelp.org. One additional resource that might be helpful is the National Association for Children of Addiction (NACoA) who work with young folks with parents who are addicts. You can reach out to them by calling 1-888-425-2666.

If you'd like to chat in more detail about what's going on or continue to explore some of your options with us, please feel free to reach out directly by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY or by chatting with us live through our website at www.1800runaway.org. We're available 24/7 and are always happy to listen, and to help.

[Guest]

Hi I am 13, and i have always thought of running away from home to go live with my grandmother across the street.
I have anxiety and depression, but my parents dont seem to understand and they think it is just a phase.
my mother never seems to listen to me and what I have to say.
This is how all my conversations go with her:


Here is what it's like to have a conversation with a mother who refuses to listen:

So you start talking, and you have to be very calm about the way you approach them because you are determined to get through to them. But rather than acknowledging what you're saying and being receptive about it, They turn the situation around and play the victim.

And then you start to get frustrated because you feel like you're talking to a wall, and you wish for at least once she would listen to you.

As the frustration builds up on both sides, Her voice will raise, and naturally yours will raise too! The problem is you CANNOT raise your voice because the second you do she will stop listening to you.So you lower your voice, but you have these raging emotions inside of you that accidentally come out as tears, but you cannot cry because the second you cry you are showing weakness and now you feel hurt.So now you drop the conversation feeling completely exhausted and drained.

You keep doing this over, and over again.

Somedays, you take three steps forward,and other days you take 10 steps back.

Somedays they're your best friend, and on other days, it's like talking to a wall.

The other problem is, when i try to speak to my mother and she actually wants to speak, Its mostly about studies and nothing else.

The only thing my mom wants to hear coming out of my mouth are news about say about school.
My mom also wants me to get schlarships in prestigous colleges.

What do i do?

[Guest]

Im a 13yr old male and both of my sisters ran away (now 17 and 1 from my grandparents house and i want to do the same. i live in washington and want to run away to my other grandparents but im in cps and idk how it works and what changes and i just hate living here because my grandma will pull me and my brother out of out chairs, yell at us in our faces, hit us, and my grandpa once shot a gun in the house out of anger. i dont know if running away will get my other grandparents or me in trouble with the police or if it will be ok. please respond asap

[ccsmod15]

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us. We are so sorry that the situation at home has been so difficult. It is never ok for anyone to make you feel unsafe at home. It sounds like you have questions about whether you would be able to live other adults, and although we are not legal experts, we will do our best to share information that might help you figure out your next steps.

If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.

In your message, you mention that you are involved with CPS. If you have a case manager, it may help to reach out to them to find out what steps your other grandparents need to take make sure that you can stay with them. From what we understand, if you are a minor in your state, your legal guardians have to give consent for you to be able to stay anywhere else. If you leave without consent, they can report you as a runaway to their local police department. Each police department chooses how to handle runaway reports, but generally, they either return the youth home or have the parents/legal guardians pick the youth up. Depending on the laws in your state, whoever you run to could be charged with harboring a runaway. If you would like more information on how your local police department handles reports, you can reach out to your local police department at their non-emergency number. If you have questions about how to reach your local police department, or if you just want to talk about your situation, please feel free to reachout to us.

Whatever you decide, know that we are here to support you. We cannot tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay safe as you figure out your next steps. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). We are here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

-NRS

[Guest]

My granddaughter is 17 he wants me to move back where I live in because that's where all her friends are she wants to graduate from high school with her friends is she allowed to do that she would be safe there with me.

[ccsmod16]

Hi there, 
Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We really appreciate you reaching out for help.  
If your granddaughter gains permission from her guardians, she may live with you. That being said, because she is 17, she is still considered a minor and her guardians have have the right to file a runaway report with the police. Running away is not a crime, but it is a status offense like breaking curfew. Since she is going to turn 18 soon, the police may not accept a runaway report. We cannot say exactly what will happen, and it typically depends on the local police department where the report is filed. If you would like to know exactly how law enforcement in your county may handle your case, you can contact the non-emergency line for your county’s police station.  
We are here to support you 24/7. If you would like to talk in more detail, please contact NRS either by calling 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chatting online through 1800runaway.org. We can help you work through some options.  
We hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,  
NRS