i dont know what to do please help

[Guest]

i dont know wut i should do my entire family does not respect me im sure they love me me but theres no respect.im home schooled and they dont let me see my freinds very much at all. im way behind in school work about a half a year ive been working on it as much as i can and my family is acting like i dont care but im really stressed out i just dont show it anymore because every time i talk to them they always pretty much turn the conversation aound and make it about them.i can tell they like my brother better than me because he goes to church.theres a lot more but ill get to the point.ive thought intensivly about running away for a while but i have no were to go and i dont know how i would do it and im sure theres a way to fix this but i dont know how im so confused right now this whole thing probobly doesnt make any sense but im desperet. please help?

[ccsmod7]

Re: i dont know what to do please help

Thanks so much for writing in and sharing your story. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot at the moment and as you said in your bulletin, you’re feeling really stressed out. You mentioned that you don’t feel your family gives you the respect and support you need, and it’s even gotten to the point where you have really thought about running away. How long have you been feeling this way? It sounds like you have tried to have conversations with them in the past but that has not helped much. Have you been able to talk with anyone else about the situation? Any friends or other family members?

When you have thought about running away, have you thought about where you might go? If you did end up leaving do you have a safe place you could stay? What do you think your parents would do if they found out you left? In the end, do you think your situation would improve if you were to runaway? What do you feel would need to change at home in order for you to feel like you might stay? Do you think any of these changes would be possible and have you thought about any options that might make them possible?

This may seem like a lot of questions, but sometimes it can be a good way of looking at the situation from every angle and figuring out what option is best for you. Here at the National Runaway Switchboard we are not here to judge or tell you what to do. We are always here to listen, talk with you about options, and how you can be safe no matter what you decide to do. If you ever need to talk with someone about your situation you can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are a completely confidential hotline and there is someone here 24 hours a day to listen. Best of luck with everything and you can write back or call anytime.

[Guest]

Re: i dont know what to do please help

the only thing keeping me from running away is the fact that i live in alaska and theres no were to go......ive talked to alot of people but no one ever listens or helps...one of the main problems is the fact that the dont really pay attention to me mainly just my brothers cause they go to church...i dont because of my back pain and because im not sure if any of the religions make sense i mean i believe in got and all that but i think that science and religion can co exist...anyway i had some freind over for once in a long time maby a couple months and i was just so happy to be in contact with the world outside my house that i really didnt care what we did long story short we ended up getting busted for vandalism i feel terrible about it things just got out of hand......and since i have pretty much nothing left in my life ive been grounded from buying a ps3......they say that they have grounded my older brother to for it (he was there by the way) but since he goes to church he still gets to see his freinds and everything so hes pretty much lost nothing to his punishment........i realize that all ive done in life was get in the way of my families lives and i feel it would be better if i just leave.

[ccsmod1]

Re: i dont know what to do please help

Thanks for writing back and sharing a little more of your story with us. We’re so sorry to hear that when you’ve talked to people in the past no one seems to listen or be able to help. It’s probably frustrating to reach out for help and not get it. From what you wrote, it sounds like you’re having a hard time at home with your family. That’s too bad that your punishment has become more severe than your brother's since he still gets to see his friends at church. So, since the vandalism you’ve been grounded and have had to stay home for the most part? How have you been coping with this so far? Is there any end in sight to your punishment? It’s probably tough to not have the support of your friends since you aren't able to see them much anymore.

When you look at your whole situation, what do you think needs to change? Are these things that you have control over? One thing you mentioned in your first post is that you’ve tried talking to your family, but they always turn the conversation into being about them. It's probably like talking to a wall sometimes, huh? Have you ever thought about going to a family mediator? Do you think it would help? This would be someone trained to mediate family conflict and ensure both sides get a chance to speak and listen. They can also many times help a family come up with a plan of action that both sides are comfortable with. We’d be happy to see if there are any organizations in your area that offer this type of service. All we’d need is your city, since we know you live in Alaska now. Also, we can do mediated conference calls here through our hotline if that’s something you’d be interested in. All you’d have to do is call the hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY), talk to the person that answers the phone a little about what’s going on and the things you’d want to talk to your parents about. Then we’d call your parents (which ever one you chose to talk to) and briefly explain why we’re calling. We’d then connect us all three together and before we start talking, we’d set ground rules for the conversation such as no yelling, no interrupting, stay positive and no blaming. Then we’d talk. Sometimes it is beneficial to have an unbiased person help both sides explain their views and come up with a compromise situation, if there is one. Of course, this may only work if both sides aren't willing to participate, but it may be worth a shot. Give us a call if you want to try it or want more information about how it works.

Even if you’re not interested in a conference call, we’d be more than happy to talk to you more about all of this, how you’re feeling and what you’d like to see happen. Someone is always available at our hotline, day or night so give us a call anytime. We’re here to listen and help you in anyway we can.

[Guest]

Re: i dont know what to do please help

no i was pulled out of regular school cause a was attacked by a student.....ever sense the beginning of the year this has been going on....ive had other problems with my family they were quite the same its been going on for years as far as i can remember.....i dont want to go to a family mediator that would just cause problems.......the only contact i really have to the world outside my house is this place called the platinum lounge and its a website......i really dont know what else to say...............at this point i dont think anyone can help me. dont worry about suicide or anything i thought about that and i relize that wouldnt solve anything....i just know that everything would be better if i left...i need someone to stay with for a while someone i know but sense ive been stuck here i dont know anyone who would help.

[ccsmod7]

Re: i dont know what to do please help

You mentioned that this situation has been going on for years, so it’s understandable how frustrated and stressed out you are. You keep mentioning that you feel stuck and cut off from the rest of the world, and that can’t be an easy feeling to deal with. Most times there is not a clear cut solution to every problem, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that there are not options that can help in some way. You mentioned wanting to leave but not knowing where you would go or if that would really help in the long run. If you could leave and go anyway, where do you think that would be? What would your ideal situation look like, whether it is at home or not? It sounds like maybe you are just realizing that you want more and that your family is not giving you that support you need. You mentioned that school is important to you, but that your family is acting like you don’t care. It’s got to be very frustrating when you feel like you are working hard and people are not supporting you with that, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not doing a good job. Sometimes focusing on something you want to accomplish and working from there can be a good way to cope with certain situations. It sounds like there is a lot that you want from life and sometimes focusing on that next step and where you want to go can help. You mentioned feeling like no one can help, but just so you know, we are here to help in anyway we can. If you ever wanted to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY we are a completely confidential hotline and there is someone here 24 hours a day to help. If you need to vent, we are here to listen, if you want to look at different options we are here to discuss those as well. We realize that this may not change the situation at the moment, but we are here to support and empower you.

[Guest]

Re: i dont know what to do please help

its nice to know that people out there who understand how i feel its conferting......i relize now that i wouldnt mind being here as much if i could just leave the house for a while mabey a few days every now and then but im not able to because either im not aloud to or no one will take me i live a while out of town so i cant wal and there are no public busses to take me i feel trapped kind of like a fish in a tank i rarely leave my room since my life is so dull i sleep alot mabey 12 13 hours at a time i do that because in my dreams i can be happy be one with the world ........ive always had a ruff life i am an outcast so ive never really had any freinds till i was 11 and they still treated me like crap and used me but when i was 13 i finally found some freinds who exepted me they were outcasts to but since we entered high school im drawing further and further away from them because there growing more popular and i just dont fit in...to tell you the truth ive always hated my life but i remind myself that there are people out there who have it worse than me...and people just like me complete outcasts some one who understands.......and i wont call sorry i just like talking to anyone anymore.....i like to think that someday things will get better. could i just stay here and talk to you people via internet it makes me feel a little better.... i know you have other people who need more help than me but this is the best i have to exeptance in the world

[ccsmod5]

Re: i dont know what to do please help

Hey,

Glad you feel comfortable sharing your stories with us and online for everyone else to see. We do not put a limit to how many times someone can post but if anything ever comes up, we may be able to do a better job helping and listening over the hotlines. If you ever need to talk to someone, please give us a confidential call at 1800 RUNAWAY 24hrs a day.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

Re: i dont know what to do please help

i have a questions do you think it would be a good idea if i left the house every now and then not like running away but taking a "brake" from the family

[ccsmod2]

Re: i dont know what to do please help

Thanks for contacting us here at NRS. We really appreciate your abilit to resort back to us when you have concerns about leaving home. Unfortunately, we cannot be the ones to tell you whethere or not you can leave your house every now and then to just take a "break". This is something that you would have to think about and weigh your options on. If you feel that you need to leave home sometimes because things are too stressful to cope with, it may be an option to leave home and go somewhere that your parents are aware of that you can be safe and off of the streets. If you were to bring this situation to surface and how you are feeling to your parents, how do you think they would respond? Just a thought. Glad to have helped! Again thanks for contacting us and feel free to call back. We are confidential and can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Unitl next time, we wish you good luck.