Im so done.

[Guest]

I want to go somewhere else. It's not that my family hate's me. It's that i hate my family. They always get on my nerves about the stupidest things, and threaten to put me in juvie when i dont obey them. Im currently 16, living in the state of Georgia, and if i run away i plan on saving at least $3,000. Will this be enough to get me started until i get a job and whatnot? Please help me. Thanks.

[ccsmod5]

Re: Im so done.

Hello,

Thanks for contacting us. Seems like you are going through some stressful stuff right now. You said they get mad at you when you don't obey them...what kind of things are you referring to? Do you feel like that's not fair?

As far as we know (and you can call the police department and ask), the legal age of adulthood is 18 in the state of GA. If you run from home, your legal guardians can call in a 'runaway report' with the police department. That means that wherever you decide to stay, there is a chance those people can get into some legal trouble for harboring a runaway.

Do you think there are some things that could be worked out at home? Where would you go if you left?

Please feel free to call us 24hrs a day. We are available to talk at 1800.RUNAWAY.

Best of luck,

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: Im so done.

I would most likely go to Canada. I already know for a fact i can get there within 12 hours. I just don't know what to expect, or what to bring. And things cannot be worked out, basically if my parents tell me to be home at 10:00pm and im home at 10:05 they threaten to call the police and all this. Im extremely fed up with it and they have called the police several times. They are nagging me constantly to get new friends, they think i do drugs, they have taken me places and left me there and im just sick and tired of being bothered 24/7..Ive tried talking to them, and agreeing and listening to what they have to say. But it just doesn't work. They find more things to yell about, almost as if they enjoy it.

[ccsmod8]

Re: Im so done.

Hello,

Thank you for following up with our response to your last posting and we appreciate you taking the time to reach out to us in this time of need. We imagine that you took some time to research the time it is going to take to get to Canada and we hope that you understand it takes a lot of planning to get as much as you should out of this journey. Please let us know what you have planned already for getting there. Do you have some or any of the $3,000 saved yet? Are you planning on taking a bus or a plane there? Are you going to have access to your documents since you need those to reenter the US in the future? We imagine it is scary for you to not know what to expect but we hope that you can appreciate taking the time to pack appropriately if and when you decide to leave home.

By now, it seems you have made up your mind about leaving and we are not here to tell you what is right from wrong but that we are mostly concerned for your safety. Let say you decided to drive, are you going to have a way to get around or where do you think you might stay when you get to Canada? Do you have anyone you know in Canada to give you some support until you get on your own two feet? In terms of what to bring, we imagine that Canada can be cold regardless of the season but gets colder for sure in the winter. Are you prepared for clothing, blankets, jackets, and other important items such as food, water, and hygiene products? For whatever reason, you have decided that home is not for you and we empathize with you since your parents seems to be all over you.

Of course you are going to be fed up with parents watching your every move and telling you where to go and what to do. However, you mentioned that they wanted you to get out more and to get new friends. Is it so bad to find some time to meet other people and develop relationships to distract you from home life? Of course it is not fair to you for them to make assumptions about you doing drugs but are you prepared to prove them wrong if you opted to do random drug screens in order to get them off you back about it? What do you mean when you say that you have taken you places and left you there? Do you mean that they have taken you to get drug tested or just in the neighborhood? Are they trying to get rid of you or trying to teach you ways of the world? It is good that you have tried talking to them and that you are willing to give them a chance by listening and agreeing with what they are telling you. Have you considered having someone else talk to them for you?

One thing you can consider, if you wanted our direct support, is to call us at our 1800RUNAWAY number 24 hours/day, in order to get one of our liners to do a conference call with you and your parents. The conference call is one way of opening lines to communication and we have rules in how you and your parents talk to one another and we can direct you on what to say but we cannot do the talking for you. This is one way of finding time and resources to show them that you are serious about what you are asking of them. However, we can be a support by simply being here in case you need to talk, vent, or get other resources to help ease the transition from home or to make life a bit easier for you, if you choose to stay. Sometimes parents yell for nothing but sometimes they try to find reasons but if there are any reasons to yell, then there are reasons for constructive conversations.

Do you think that you and your parents can benefit from family therapy or individual counseling? What if you were to present this option to them? Do you think they would go for it? Are there not other alternatives to running? Are you able to find other ways to distract yourself or add other activities to your routine in order to avoid getting home early? At this point we hope that you consider some of what we noted above and we hope to hear from you in person, if you wanted to talk to a live person. We are very confidential and non-judgmental. We want to guide you to make the right choice so that you can benefit in the end. Until we hear from you, please stay safe and try to remain strong. Good luck.

-NRS