family problems

Re: family problems

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like things are really tough for you right now with your family. We are so sorry to hear that your parents aren’t there to support you right now. It sounds like instead of helping you and caring for you, they make you feel bad about yourself and upset. You certainly do not deserve to be treated that way. It must be really hard to not be able to turn to your parents or rely on them. Is there anyone in your life that you feel like you can turn to?

You brought up some really serious stuff in your post, such as thinking about trying to kill yourself again. How long ago was your last attempt? How did you try to kill yourself? Do you have a plan for how you might kill yourself now? How long have you been thinking about this? You asked if suicide would be worth it. That is quite a tough question. What do you think death will be like? If you are feeling suicidal and are worried that you might hurt yourself, you could call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. Sometimes when people are in a crisis, suicide seems like the only available option because it is hard to see another way for life to get better. It sounds like right now, you might be in a situation like that. Do you think that there are things you could do to make your life better?

For example, you mentioned that you once tried to call Social Services to file an abuse report but that your mom took away the phone. That is very courageous of you to reach out for help like that and it shows that you have a strong will. Do you think that you might be able to try contacting social services again? Usually, each state has a 24 hour abuse reporting hotline. Do you think you might be able to find a time to call them that your family will not see? Or, we could help you file a report. If you want, you could call us 1-800-RUNAWAY. Usually, we are anonymous and confidential, but if a caller wants us to file an abuse report we can do that. Since we are a toll free number, you can call us from any payphone for free. Someone will be here 24/7 to help. If you aren’t comfortable with the idea of filing an abuse report, we certainly would not force you to do that.

You also brought up running away. You said that you tried to runaway once before. How long ago was that? Where did you go? What did you take with you? How long were you gone for before your dad found you? From your experience, how did being away from home compare to being at home? From what you wrote, it seems like you are wondering if your life might be better if you runaway. We’re glad that you are thinking about the practical issues surrounding leaving home, such as where you will go and how you will survive. Do you have any ideas? If you called us at 1-800-RUNAWAY we could talk more about the pros and cons of leaving home and what you might do. Or, of course, we can continue this conversation on the bulletin board.

Besides killing yourself or running away, are there any other things you could do to cope with what is going on. Do you think joining an after school activity might help minimize the amount of time you are at home? Or what about a sports team? Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy? While these might not solve the problem in the long run, they could offer some short term relief. In terms of a more long term solution, do you think your parents would give you permission to live with another family member or friend? Or what about in some sort of group home or transitional living place? Have you or your family ever tried counseling? Is that something you are interested in? If so, we could help connect you with local resources in your area.

We are really happy that you chose to reach out to us today. When your family treats you like you aren’t worth anything, it can be hard to not start believing that. But, you deserve to be happy and hopefully some of these options can help you work towards that.

Good luck,
NRS

Lifes just so tough. My family treats me like im not worth anything, they look at the other kids and compare me to all of them even though im good in my studies and what not. My mom yells at me everyday there hasnt ever been a day were she hasn't and my dad never listens to me when i try to tell him or ask him a question he just shakes his head and then gets mad and tells me to shut up. my mom abuses me and yells at me for no reason and when i start crying and ask her what i did she never has a good excuse and the ones she makes up dont even make sense. Everyone gives me a lecture and tells me how i should live..they expect me not to talk to my friends all they want from me is to study and i do. i once tried running away and i did but they found me and this other time i tried to suicide but my dad slapped me and dragged me home. i feel so isoated at home because i lost all my friends because of the mistakes my family makes. Im not allowed to go out with any of my friends, and when i tried to call the child abuse people and get help my mom saw me and took the phone away from me and told my grandparents that i was trying to call the police.im thinking to suicide or either run away but then all these little questions pop up in my head if i suicide will it be worth it or if i run away who am i gonna go to or am i even going to survive. someone please help me!

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