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How to deal with a bad mom.

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  • How to deal with a bad mom.

    I don't have a good relationship with my mom. I hate her. She tries to have a good relationship but I push her away. Not only because it's awkward but because how she treats me. I heard it was illegal to smack your child in the face? If that's true, my mom belongs in jail! She smacks my sisters and I in the face all the time. She also loves humiliating my sisters and I by always telling our neighbors about what we've done wrong and how she beat us. It got bad once before when my dad was going to leave my mom due to the fact she got so bad, CYS got called, TWICE on her by the same person. My middle sister and I wanted to move in with my dad but because my dad travels for work, he was working extra hard to afford a house. My younger sister wanted to stay with my mom because she didn't want my mom to be alone. My mom also took away my phone because I was being an "asshole." I went to school with a purple ear (so serious) and my guidance counselor kept asking me what happened. I was thinking of it in my head which made me cry, then my guidance counselor knew something had happened so she called CYS again. But this time no agent or anyone showed up. So my dad got back with my mom but then my mom confiscated my phone after she found out that I told my guidance counselor. Then she started reading my texts and I had a screen shot of a text from a friend but I had deleted the conversation. So my mom kept asking what the text message before had said. She kept hitting me but I didn't say anything. I almost told her when she had grabbed me by my neck and slammed me against the wall and spit on me. But I just cried instead. So then she made me kneel on rice for 3 hours until I told her, but I never did. She repeatedly told me that if I dropped dead right at that moment she wouldn't care and that if I was old enough she would kick me out. My dad doesn't know about that incident. But is it too late to tell him? It happened around June 11th 2014. I've cut my wrist once before. But then I realized how stupid that was and never did it again. Anyway, what should I do about everything?

  • #2
    How to deal with a bad mom

    Hello,

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.
    We are very sorry to learn about the terrible ordeals you have had to suffer through.
    You or any of your siblings deserve to be abused physically mentally or emotionally.

    What a very brave and courageous person you are for recounting what must have felt frightening to you. We understand how frustration with any given situation might feel unbearable to cope with, abusive behavior is wrong and you are not to blame for another's actions.

    We are glad to hear you say that cutting your wrist was not something you would do again.
    Good for you we hope that you will continue to look for positive options when faced with adversity.

    You are important and you have a right to want feel safe at home.

    With everything you have been through you have found the strength to advocate for your safety to you counselor and CYS. Good for you. It sounds like you would like to speak with your dad about some of the things that have been happening.
    NRS is in no position to tell you what to do however we can discuss options.

    Let's see, You said your dad does not know about everything and it sounds like you would like to tell him but you seem to be hesitant. What do you think about talking it over with your counselor and maybe coming up with a plan on just how you might let him know how you have been feeling and what has been going on?

    You stated that your counselor called CYS but do you know if there was an official child abuse report filed? NRS as a mandated child abuse reporting agency can assist you with filing a child abuse report in your city and state.
    How does that sound?

    If you have any issues about talking with your counselor you are welcome to contact our 1-800Runaway (786-2929) 24hr crisis line. If you are more comfortable chatting online NRS has live chat as an option via our website: www.1800Runaway.org from 4:30pm until 11:30pm (CST) 7 days a week.

    Talking with one of our crisis liners might be a way to sort out your feelings about telling your dad what's been going on.

    Being abused is something most people can't even imagine, the way you have persevered is something NRS hopes you will feel proud of.

    we appreciate you reaching out and hope you will continue to do so.
    Stay safe and thank you again for contacting NRS.

    Take Care
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      How to deal with a bad mom

      I'm not sure if a report was filed. But my mom mentioned to me (on the second CYS call) that CYS can't be called on the same person more than once a year. And that if they do, there's a possible chance we would get taken. Also, if I file a report, I'll be in so much trouble. My entire family will hate me. I don't want to be around my family because of my mom. But I don't want to leave my sisters, my grandparents, my cousins or my aunt and uncle. They mean the ABSOLUTE world to me! If I filed a report, what exactly would happen? Would my mom find out?

      I'm also surprised that I didn't explode from the entire situation. I was very terrified because I had never seen that side from my mom. My sisters also have there share of stories. My middle sister got smacked and hit her on the cabinet door and fell on the floor crying while my youngest sister just gets hits with a belt roughly. My mom said that none of it was considered abuse (to her) because she doesn't do it on a daily basis. But when she does, she doesn't know how to fully handle the situation.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Re: How to deal with a bad mom.


        Hi there,

        Often, youth may reach out to NRS in several different ways to discuss their situation. If a response from NRS is not visible to a bulletin posting it may be that we have already provided services to that individual through another platform we provide such as email, our crisis hotline, or our live chat service (in operation every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST). NRS encourages anyone in need of assistance to contact us through our 24 hour crisis hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY to receive immediate support.

        Thank you,
        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
        Tell us what you think about your experience!

        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

        Comment

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