I cannot live here anymore

[Guest]

I cant be here anymore

My mom is a mentally abusive alcoholic. she blows off all her money on alcohol that just makes her by-polo worsen till she gets violent. I am only 13 and trying to get through school. I feel like she is not my mom anymore i walk in the house and have to think is this the day she will stop even i know better. I have gone to the police after she had beaten me until my friends had to pull her off me and I told them about her alcohol problems and they only told me that alcohol is not illegal after 21 so they to didn't help. my mom also has friends over all the time and they are not the good kind of friends you want around they repeatedly use her over and over again. I don´t want to live here anymore I fiscally cant. I really need advise on how to handle this and how to get away.

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline.

We are sorry to hear about all that you have been facing and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and cared for in your home. It takes a lot to reach out for help so we are glad that you did. It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation and are unsure of where to turn because of the police turning you away. One thing you can do is reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. They are a child abuse and neglect reporting resource that could walk you through the process of doing that while also just talking to you about your rights a minor. If you have another family member, school counselor or adult that you trust, you can call in with one of them if you are nervous. We are also here 24/7 to talk you through this option and call out as well. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and don't hesitate to give us a call.

It can also be hard to deal with a family member's alcohol problem even after leaving a neglectful situation like the one you are in. If you need support you can reach out to al-anon.org and go to the alateen section for support and resources on how to cope. They can also be reached at 757-563-1600.

Good luck, and give us a call so we can best help,

NRS

We hope that this information is helpful to you! We’d love to hear what you think about your experience with the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). If you have a moment, please click the link below our signature line to fill out a quick survey. Best of luck!

[Guest]

I’m 14 and I’m letting my mum down a lot and when she gets angry I just want to runaway i tried my dads but it was the worst decision ever help I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do

[ccsmod0]

Hello, thank you for posting today. It looks like you have a similar question to another user. We have attached a copy of our reply to that user that we think might be of some use to you.

I want to go live with my grandma and older brother but my parents won't let me cause "they manipulate" which I don't really see but I'm so done and just want to go live with them and I don't really know what to do...

Hi there, thanks for posting to our forum today. It sounds like you are unhappy with your mom and want to move with your grandma and brother but your mom has said no. That must be really frustrating!
While you are a minor (under 18 in most states) leaving home is most easily done through parent’s permission, which it seems like you have tried and your mom isn’t receptive to. Perhaps asking your grandma or another adult you trust to help you talk with your mom about that option may be helpful. You may also consider whether or not your mom would allow you to stay with a different family member or friend. We also offer conference calling with legal guardians so you wanted help in having that conversation, feel free to give us a call and we can help talk to your mom. We are here 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).
It sounds like home is a hard place for you to be and you are looking for options. That is really smart of you and we are glad you reached out! If you would like to talk more about other options you have or need any resources in your area, feel free to call us anytime or live chat through our website every day 4:30-11:30pm central time so we can best help you directly. Good luck and contact us anytime! We are here to help!

[Guest]

I cant live here

i am 13 and living with a alcoholic abusive mother i try to go through school but she always puts me down its not like she is even my mother anymore. I have to walk in the door and only have the hope that she will stop but i get disappointed all over each and every day. I have to sit and listen to her say what a disappointment i am and i am useless when it comes to get stuff done she yells at me out of the blue. she has friends over at night when i am trying to sleep just to do smoke weed. she is mentally and physically abusive. I have tried to ask for help when the police came when my mom had started to beat me until my friends had to pull her off of me they only said that alcohol is not illegal after age 21 even after i tell them what happen and they just gave me right back to her. so till this day i have to deal with her threats to kick me out even though i would happily leave she puts me down at every chance she gets. I need help on what are the steps I can take on how to get away from her and if i talk to a concealer she would just make my life even worsen.

[ccsmod0]

Hello, thank you for posting today. It looks like you have a similar question to another user. We have attached a copy of our reply to that user that we think might be of some use to you.

I want to go live with my grandma and older brother but my parents won't let me cause "they manipulate" which I don't really see but I'm so done and just want to go live with them and I don't really know what to do...

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline.

We are sorry to hear about all that you have been facing and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and cared for in your home. It takes a lot to reach out for help so we are glad that you did. It sounds like you are in a really difficult situation and are unsure of where to turn because of the police turning you away. One thing you can do is reach out to Child Help at 1-800-422-4453. They are a child abuse and neglect reporting resource that could walk you through the process of doing that while also just talking to you about your rights a minor. If you have another family member, school counselor or adult that you trust, you can call in with one of them if you are nervous. We are also here 24/7 to talk you through this option and call out as well. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and don't hesitate to give us a call.

It can also be hard to deal with a family member's alcohol problem even after leaving a neglectful situation like the one you are in. If you need support you can reach out to al-anon.org and go to the alateen section for support and resources on how to cope. They can also be reached at 757-563-1600.

Good luck, and give us a call so we can best help,

NRS

We hope that this information is helpful to you! We’d love to hear what you think about your experience with the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). If you have a moment, please click the link below our signature line to fill out a quick survey. Best of luck!

[Guest]

It’s been really bad at home my moms a single mom and my dad recently got out of prison and sometimes shows up to our house but is usually wacked out on drugs, me and my mom and my family always get in fights I’m 14 gonna be 15 and I just can’t stand it here anymore my anxiety and anger are so bad I hurt myself and others here and I can’t stay here but I don’t know where to go.

[ccsmod5]

Hi, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It takes a lot of bravery to explain such a personal situation such as this. You deserve to be in a space that does not provoke anxiety and anger. If you feel that your anxiety and anger from this are causing you to hurt yourself, it might help to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline as they would be able to discuss a little more about how you are feeling with all this happening. You can reach them at 1-800-273-8255. You are clearly a very resilient and smart individual for taking the steps necessary to take care of your well- being. One option to think about might be to see if your mother would allow you to stay with friends or a close family member. This might allow you to be able to rid yourself of any unnecessary stress, anxiety, or anger. It might also be beneficial to talk to a professor or school counselor to be able to discuss more options and how to cope with this anxiety and anger that your home environment is causing you. If you do feel that running away is the best option, you can always call us and go through options. You can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. Because you are 14 years going on 15, you will only be given the status offense as a runaway. You would not be in trouble legally. However, if you were to leave without your parent’s permission and stay with a friend or family member without your parent’s permission, the family member or friend that you stay with could run into legal issues for technically harboring a runaway. It might also be important to think about where you are going to stay and how you will take care of yourself. If you would like to discuss your options, talk more about your situation, or find shelters and resources, please do not hesitate to call. We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think
- NRS

[Guest]

Hi im 17 years old im feeling depressed and im alone i have no friends
I liveing with my 2 elder brothers 1st brother go to job full day and im at home with my 2nd brother he is also depressed he has some disease thats why he is very very depressed he shouts and throw things fights with my 1nd brother my 1st brother is very good he cares both of us we are doing his treatment but there is no difference in his health he is going mad day by day im feeling afraid and depressed because of him i have to spend every whole day with and im not feeling good please help

[ccsmod3]

Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

You mentioned feeling depressed, a health problem that can be caused by factors such as life events and chemical changes to our brain. The types (and frequency) of depression symptoms varies, yet commonly includes feeling down for an extended period of time.

A first step could be to talk with your doctor, as there are different types of depression. Your doctor or another medical professional may recommend a therapist and medicine and lifestyle changes. Regarding lifestyle, if you cannot to live there anymore, where else could you go? Are there steps you can take to make new friends?

NRS would like to listen about what is going on, explore feelings, and help ensure you have a plan to stay safe. If you are comfortable about reaching NRS, call 800-RUNAWAY (786-0394) anytime.

Please tell us what you think about our response: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

I am 15 years old. My parents hit me and are mentally abusive towards me, they have a quick temper and we always argue. I am never allowed out of the house to see friends and I feel depressed and lonely. I put on a brace face in school but I can't do this any more. I love my parents but I can't deal with their anger and neglect. I have no relationship with them as from the age of 4 I have been in daycare/school from 9-7 I'm out of cars now so after school I stay at home alone till my parents come home from work 7ish on a day to day basis we say about three words to eachother. What are my rights? Am i legally allowed to leave? How would I financially support myself? Can I get a job? I can't stay in this situation anymore I need help!

[ccsmod10]

Hi there,

Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a bit about your situation.

It sounds like your parents don't treat you very well. You never deserve to be hit or yelled at in any situation. How you're being treated is wrong. You’re always able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with someone you trust, as far as transferring custody. NRS is able to conference call with you if you need help making the abuse report, or we can make one for you. After an abuse report is made, CPS will investigate it.

If you feel like getting out of the house is the best option and you decide to run away, we can explain what usually happens. We’re not legal experts, but from our general knowledge, running away is not illegal. If you runaway, your parents can make a runaway report. The police don't always actively look for you, if they come across you, then they usually bring you home. If you explain to them that home isn't a safe place to be, they don't always return you right away. They're supposed to investigate it first. We offer to call out to youths local police, with youth, to find out their protocols and what happens if runaways refuse to go home. We can also help find runaway/youth shelters in your area, so you can stay safe.

We also have legal aid resources in our database. While we’re not law experts, we can try to find one in your area, there may be legal ways for you to be able to move out of your house. We’re here to try to brainstorm options with you.

We hope our response is helpful. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center.

Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

I can’t live here anymore.

im just keeping it simple I don’t know what to do my mom lives very far away from me so I live with my sister and old school dad. My dad is very strict I can’t do anything I can’t say hi to a guy with him there or bring up anything basically because he will find a way to yell at me. Most importantly I’m in high school and he won’t tolerate the thought of me sleeping over ANYWHERe. I’ve always been easy to make friends and happy but lately because of him I’ve been depressed which is not like me at all. Anyways I feel like i have no friends because he won’t let me sleepover everyone hangs out and I can’t. It’s just so hard living at home constantly being yelled at and mentally abused. I’ve always think about just running away and sleeping over at a friend house just so I can experience real life but I’m scared my dad would kick me out for good. Also I’m a very good child I get good grades and rarely drink but lately I think as a way of acting out I’ve been not as great I guess and I always try to talk to him about how all of his strictness effects me and the he gets more strict.

[ccsmod5]

Hey,
Thanks so much for writing in. It sounds like you’re in an incredibly frustrating situation. It sounds like your father doesn’t give you a lot of freedom and that he’s constantly looking for ways to yell at you. We can imagine that gets very stressful for you and it makes sense that you would want to think about other options. You deserve to be in a home that is loving, safe, and supportive, and we’re so sorry to hear that your family isn’t able to provide that for you right now. While we are not legal experts, we can give you some general information and hopefully provide you with some options.
You mention that you’ve been feeling depressed, which isn’t “like you” at all. We want you to know that it’s okay to feel however you do and that it’s normal to experience periods of depression. An option you might consider is talking to a therapist or a guidance counselor about how you’ve been feeling lately. They may be able to listen and support you, as well as give you some strategies for navigating your relationship with your dad. Everyone deserves the opportunity to feel heard, respected, and supported; even if you’re not getting this from your family, talking to someone like a therapist or a guidance counselor can help with feelings of depression. It sounds like you have tried to talk to your dad about how all of his strictness affects you, which shows an incredible amount of thoughtfulness and maturity. It’s unfortunate that he’s not responsive this, but could be helpful to have another adult there to keep the conversation calm and fair. That could be a guidance counselor, therapist, or any other adult that you trust. Here at NRS, we are also able to facilitate a conference call and advocate for you to your parents as well.
You mention that you’re planning on running away. It can be helpful to have some information about runaway laws. So generally speaking, you would need parental consent to leave home. If you leave without your parent’s permission, they would have the right to file a runaway report and if the police are able to locate you, then they would return you home. Running away is not a crime punishable by going to jail; it is considered a “status offense,” and usually there are no legal consequences. We cannot speak to what consequences your parents may enforce if you do end up being brought home. One option you might consider is asking your parents to stay with a friend or a family member.
That being said, if you still feel like leaving is the best option for you, you may want to consider the following: where you’ll stay, how you’ll get there, how long you’ll stay, where you’ll get food and money, and if you have clothing appropriate for extreme weather. If you would like to let your family know that you are safe, you can always use our messaging service. If you give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 and leave a message for your family, we can deliver that message for you.
Thank you again for reaching out. We really hope this message is helpful to you and please feel free to reach out to us if you ever want to talk about your situation more specifically. We wish you the best of luck and we encourage you to give your honest feedback of our forum services at the following link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think .Your feedback is really helpful to us and helps us serve you better, so we appreciate it. Stay safe!

[Guest]

Hi I’m 15 year old freshman my parents found out I smoke weed and I told them I’m not going to stop I’m in Illinois it’s literally about to be legal I don’t understand what the problem is smoking a lil weed with my freinds but now it’s different my dad comes in my room to see if I’m vaping or smoking constantly checks my pockets and room every day I leave he checks my room and goes outside and checks for bongs in the bushes it’s gone to the point where my mom won’t let me go anywhere and I’m never allowed to sleep over at a freinds I’m in HIGHSCHOOL can they legally stop me from leaving they also took all my money so I have no choice but to take money from them and hustle for money by selling my belongings, I’m also addicted to nicotine so I never stop vaping they smell it and do a full search through the house they constantly find weed and want to send me to rehab for weed that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my life rehab.... for weed, you can’t be addicted to weed physically however there is physical addiction which I don’t have I try to tell them I’m not addicted to weed I just like smoking it once a week to destress my mom also baught a breathalyzer and drug tests me a lot which I always fail. But what really bugs me is not being allowed to leave to go anywhere I can’t hang out with anyone they have isolated me which is hard because I’m very popular in school they also took my Xbox away and moniter my phone with a app that’s shows everything so I personally baught a second phone they don’t know about it..... I’m at a breaking point I love my freinds more than my family that’s hard to say my dad also addresses me as “stoner” I hate it. They say they are worried but all they wanna do is get me in trouble. I have nothing to do but watch videos on my phone I have no where to stay and I want to die sometimes. My friends are my family think about it like this your stuck with people you hate and aren’t aloweed to see people that understand you closely I hate it

[ccsmod5]

Hi, it looks like you've communicated with us through another one of our platforms (chat, email, etc). We will respond to your situation through that platform. Thank you, stay safe!

[Guest]

i heard that i can contact the sherifs office and tell them where they can contact me if i decide to just move out without my parents permission and they won't bother me. is that true? and can i just pack up my necessities and go live w/ my grandparents?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. We understand that it takes a great deal or courage to seek help. We are not legal experts so we cannot say for sure whether or not you they wont bother you if you tell the police where you are. One way of finding out for sure is to contact your local police through their non emergency phone number, and ask about their runaway policy. If you don't feel comfortable calling the police, we could contact them for you. You could try asking your parents if they would allow you to move in with your grandparents. If you decide to leave home without permission, your family has a right to file a runaway report. With a runaway report, if the police find you they would return you home. Running away is not illegal, it is a status offense which is something you aren't supposed to do because you are a minor. If you were to just pack your things and stay with your grandparents, they could get in trouble for harboring a runaway. We hope that this information helps, please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat if you have any other questions or just want to talk.

[Guest]

I’m 16 years old and I live with my dad and my step mother. Honestly every single day of my life I live with a suicidal thought in my head. My dad alone is so freaking annoying. He does nothing for me, doesn’t give me money to go to school, wash clothes literally nothing. I have a job, have perfect grades and always stay home. And he still doesn’t let me go outside with my friends, every time I ask him to go out it’s always something that he brings up to not let me go. And my step mother is really the fakes person I have ever met. She acts like the sweetest angel ever and all of the sudden my dad is telling me how I’m missbahavin, swearing and all type of ******** that she tells him like why is she lying for. And she treats her siblings way better than she treats me. Please don’t give me no type of advice because I’m sick and tired of living in this house, I live in NYC please provide me with information where I can go to and stay there because I do not wanna live in here no more.

[ccsmod7]

Hello there thanks for reaching out.

Sounds like you are going through so much right now at home and you mentioned having suicidal thoughts everyday. Those feelings are significant and you deserve to be supported during this difficult. Please know you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you ever want to talk through how you are feeling. You might also reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. Please call 911 if you feel like you are in immediate danger.

It's understandable that you are not looking for advice, rather a housing resource. We cannot give local youth shelters out on our public forum for safety concerns so please call, chat, or email us for local referrals. If you call us, we can help call out to agencies with you if you would like.

We look forward to hearing from you so we can best help with shelter resources!

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

My parents are nice and good sometimes tho I'm a Muslim yeah ik I have to keep my religion but I'm not allowed to even wear a hoodie and jeans its always baggy dresses or skirts I have to stick to I don't feel comfortable I'm going through depression i feel ugly and horrible in these cloths my parents don't let me go anywhere no sleepovers and I'm not allowed to have friends once i came home at 5:30 at home from school cause my instrument was at a friend's house my parents got mad hit me and told me to leave I was left crying in the back yard there good parents who do good things if I fallow the rules but I don't wanna feel uncomfortable fallowing a life I hate wearing clothes that make me sad about myself I'm scared of i reach out there other kids might get taken away I'll be a shame to my family there good parents but I can't take this anymore

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about what has been going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that if you are a minor and you leave home and your parents file a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your parents, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

It can be difficult to have a conversation with your parents if you feel that they are unwilling to engage with you or hear your concerns because of religion and other factors. Sometimes it can be helpful to have another adult around when you’re trying to talk to your parents so that they can stand up for you and try to keep the conversation calm and fair. That person could be a guidance counselor, other family member, or any other adult you trust. Here at NRS, we also offer a conference call service and can help you have that conversation with them about the possibility of you being able to wear different clothes and leave the house more. It shows how compassionate you are that you care about how talking to them could affect the family, but you also have the right to be happy and get the support you need with your depression. We can also try to help you have that conversation with them to get mental health resources.

Let us know how we can best help and if any of the options above sound like they could help.

Stay safe,

NRS

[Guest]

Im 16 bout to be 17 in 4 months, i have a my daughter shes just turned 2 months and i cant be staying with my mom anymore im tired of her always telling me things like im a bad mom and stuff she screams at me in front of my baby and i dont want my baby to see all that my boyfrie.d tells me to move out and go live with him should i go or what i dont know what to do i hate being with my mom i just want the best for me and my babygirl

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We understand that you just want to do what is best for you and your baby and that it can be hard to reach out. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave home and your mom files a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for your boyfriend or whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. Some other options would be to get permission to leave or to follow other paths like emancipation. If you want a liner to help you have that conversation with your mom, think of possible adults that you trust that could advocate for you or to get general information on emancipation, don't hesitate to reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. We are here 24/7.

Best,

NRS