I cannot live here anymore

[Unregistered]

Hi I just turned 16 years old in May and I cannot stand my parents anymore. To start off, they treat me as if I was steal a very little child. My mom barely let's me go anywhere with friends or do anything. She doesn't let me walk to some stores that are about 3 blocks from my house by myself. She doesn't let me sleepover friends house. I don't really party or drink or smoke. I have to lie to my parents about where I go and who I'm with because of the fact they don't let me go anywhere and I don't like that. My dad is mentally abusive. I understand parents get mad and yell at their kids but my dad, that's a whole different story. I don't think fathers should scream that bad and swear and threat. Today, my sister wanted her friend's mom to start to give her a ride (she's 14) to school so they can go together and my mom said no that she's going to take her and my sister started to say that she's going with her friend and that's when my dad started yelling and swearing and saying such horrible things. My dad's always been this way but I'm just getting sick of it, and my mom. I don't get really good grades in school and that's one reason why they are how they are, but it's just hard. & my parents think I'm getting worse only because they're getting worse. I hate coming home and to listen to everyone tell and argue, that's one reason why I've been hanging out with friends so much lately and they don't like it. It's summer and I guess they prefer me being in my room doing nothing. I already went through depression and I don't want to go through it again because I'm so unhappy at home. I do have a boyfriend that I see a lot and I tell my mom I'm going with a girl and she doesn't know. I just don't know what to do anymore. Earlier this summer, my mom and dad were going to split up because of how much they argue and my mom dad was going to leave, but my dad is really sick with low potassium so he has to go to the doctors often so they can inject him potassium and it causes something with how the nerves work and that's why his Bad temper gets worse and that's the only reason my mom is still with him because of the putty she feels for him and she told me that herself. She doesn't think he's going to last that much long anymore but I just don't care anymore. I just want to leave the house. It's not right for a 16 year old to not want to come home because of all the mental abuse at home. I don't know what to do.

[ccsmod14]

Re: i cannot live here anymore

Hey,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been going through a lot at home and we are sorry to hear that. It has got to be really difficult to experience verbal and mental abuse from your parents. We are here to help you out the best that we can.

So it sounds like it has been really difficult being at home because your parents are fighting, and they are also making you feel badly about spending time with friends over the summer. It is understandable that you would not want to spend time at home if all they are doing is fighting when you are there. It is good to know that you have such support from your friends. Do you talk to them about what is going on? If not, is there anyone else that you feel like you can talk to about this? You have taken a really great step by contacting us, and we want to support you and help you out the best that we can.

It sounds like you have a lot that you want to stay to your parents, have you tried to communicate your feelings to them before? Sometimes this can be a hard thing to do, and we understand that. Here at NRS, we offer conference calling. That means that if you were to call into our 24/7, anonymous and confidential hotline at 1800runaway, we could call out to a guardian with you and facilitate a conversation between the two of you, and mediate to make sure that you are being heard in everything that you want to communicate. Have you ever explored the option of family counseling? Here at NRS we have a large database of different resources, including counseling services. If this is an option you would like to discuss further, or would like resources in your area, we would be happy to locate some close to you.

You said that you just want to leave the house. Have you thought about where you would go if you did run away from home? We will not tell you what to do, whether or not you should leave home because you know your situation better than we do. We just want to make sure that you are safe in whatever decision you make. We are here 24/7, and our line is confidential and anonymous at 1800runaway. We also have a chat option available from 4:30pm to 11:30pm CST through our website at 1800runaway.org. Please call or chat us if you would like to talk further or if we can provide you any local resources. We are here to listen and here to help.

Good luck and stay safe,
NRS

[Unregistered]

My mom has told my dad about counseling but my dad refuses to take it. I honestly don't want to talk to them about it because I know them and they won't understand. They'll probably consider therapy just for me. And if I tell them I feel mentally abused by all this, they'e just gonna say therapy. I honestly don't want to live with them anymore. I just talked to my boyfriend and he said I can stay over whenever I want, his mom would be okay with it, but my mom would call the police if she found out if I was gone and I wouldn't want him or his family to get in trouble or involved. Is mental abuse illegal? Is there anyway I can get sent somewhere else like a foster home or somewhere where runaways live? I'm running out of options. I love my parents so much and I know I would never forgive myself for this, but I just can't anymore. I need help.

[ccsmod9]

RE: I cannot live here anymore

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS again tonight. You sound like you're going through a lot and don't want to live with your family anymore. It sounds like your boyfriend and his family are supportive of you. They sound like a safe place for you to stay; however, as you said, they could get into trouble if your mom decides to report you as a runaway.

There are other options for you. You could stay at a youth shelter. We have a large database of shelters we could refer you to, if you're interested. If you think you might qualify, emancipation could be another option for you to explore. We can give you some more information on that if that interests you. We're here to listen and to help in any way we can.

If you'd like to talk further, please consider calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are available on our confidential, anonymous Safeline 24/7. You can also chat with us from 4:30 to 11:30 pm CST by going to www1800runaway.org and clicking the red live chat button. We hope to hear from you soon.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Unregistered]

Thank you lff that information. But how can emancipation be an option for me if I'm still considered a minor? I'm only 16. And if I was to go to a youth center, how long can I stay there for and I can still go to the school I go to and still see the people I see? And would I need any kind of permission to go there from my guardians or do I just leave the house?

[ccsmod9]

RE: I cannot live here anymore.

Hello,

Thanks for posting on our bulletin board and reaching out to us here at NRS again. You have a lot of great questions you're asking. We'll do our best to answer them. Keep in mind that we are not legal experts here at NRS, but we can provide some general information.

In many states, one must be at least 16 to be considered for emancipation. There are other usually other requirements as well. In regards to going to a youth shelter, each shelter may have different requirements and rules. You can continue your schooling either at the shelter, a nearby school, or even your own school-again, you'd have to check with an individual shelter to find out their policy. Many shelters inform guardians within 72 hours.

We can help you locate a shelter and ask them some of these questions, if you'd like. If you'd like to talk further, please feel free to contact us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Our Safeline is available 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Or you can chat with us from 4:30 to 11:30 pm Central time, by going to www.1800runaway.org and clicking the red live chat button. We hope to hear from you again soon.

Good luck,

NRS

[20082010]

I need help

Im 15 and im going to be 16 in September, both of my parents are deceased and i hate living with my aunt i want to leave and go live somewhere else but she says no but i dont care anymore i want to leave i cant stay anymore what do i do ? Do i ask a police officer?

[ccsmod11]

RE: I need help

Hi,

Thank you for reaching out to us. We are very glad that you did. It sounds like you are going through a lot, and have been for awhile. Losing both of your parents is really hard. Living with your aunt sounds hard too. We hope that together, we can talk over what’s been going on and everything that makes you want to leave.
We understand that you want to go live somewhere else. We understand that you want to leave. We hope that you would call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. This is something we can absolutely talk about if you were to call in. We can discuss your options in a way that you decide is right for you. Some of what we could talk about is: who else knows about how you feel? Living someplace else is a big decision, and your age right now is a factor. We can explore your options and think of a plan to help you.
You asked about talking to a police officer. Are you safe right now? If someone is harming you, then yes, turn to your local police. If you are safe, please consider giving us a call. We are here for you 24/7 and are happy to talk with you. Please consider calling. We talk with people your age all the time and we welcome your call. 24/7 we are here to listen and here to help. 1-800-RUNAWAY

Stay Safe,
NRS

[Jazzyneal]

What can i do ?

I'M 15 years old, my father has been taking care of me since my mom died when I was 8. Ever since I've been with him I have been mentally abused by his harsh words and threats. As I gotten older the harsh words and threats has progress. I live by myself, and my father comes back to check up on me every now and then. Recently, since I've been living by myself, I had friends come over and hang out. Soon, my dad found out that I've been having peopleover my house with out his permission and going to the neighborhood pool without his consent. When he found out he kicked me out the house, ever since then I've been staying with my aunt. I've seen my dad twice, to get more clothes from the house and get my braces checked. We've made plans for me to stay at my aunts house, since it's better fit for me than staying at home by myself. But after my dad found out that if he let me go stay with my aunt that he wouldn't get my ISS check every month, he changed his mind and said I have to come home. I don't want to go back to the threats and verbal and physical abuse that he's put me throught before. What can I do, so that I don't have to live with him and be alone at my house with no parental guidance ?

[ccsmod9]

Re: What can I do?

Thank you for writing us at the National Runaway Safeline. It is very sad to hear that you have had to deal with a dad who has been verbally abusive towards you. You do not deserve such treatment! It is wonderful that you have such a support system in your aunt. It’s amazing that you have found that you feel better when you stay with her.

As far as your dad wanting you to stay with him for your SSI check, that is very unfortunate. Too bad he changed his mind so that he could receive the benefits you received from when your mom died. What has your aunt had to say about all of this?
Since you’ve mentioned that home with your dad is not the best place—especially since he treats you disrespectfully, had you considered filing an abuse report against him? Child abuse reports are confidential and it is up to the Department of Children and Family Services to figure out whether it is abuse. To learn more about what happens when you file an abuse report, see below:

https://www.childhelp.org/hotline/resources-kids/

You can also call the hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). If you’d wish, if you call us, we can be on the line when you make the abuse report to help support you.

Your SSI check is there for you to use to cover your living expenses. It is not there for your dad’s enjoyment. Your aunt could petition Social Security to become your new representative payee instead of your dad. Especially if he abuses the money and does not use it to take care of you. Read more below:

http://www.disability-benefits-help.org/blog/representative-payee-use-of-benefits

If you feel that your aunt’s place is the best place for you, you could ask your aunt to petition to become your new guardian, instead of your dad. This would require having you all go before a judge so that the judge could decide who is best for you to stay with. If this is something that your aunt is interested in, see the links below for legal aid.

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/finding-free-legal-services-30144.html

http://www.lsc.gov/find-legal-aid

You can also read more about what it means when a person who is not a parent applies for guardianship:

http://family-law.freeadvice.com/family-law/child_custody/custody-of-child-of-another.htm

You have every right to want to live in the household that will help you thrive. It is very unfortunate that you have had to live with your father who has not been treating you well. We wish you the best and hope that some of the above resources are helpful.

Please do call or chat with us if you’d like to talk more about your situation. We are here to listen and to help.

Wishing you the best,

NRS

[Jazzyneal]

What can i do ?

I'M 15 years old, my father has been taking care of me since my mom died when I was 8. Ever since I've been with him I have been mentally abused by his harsh words and threats. As I gotten older the harsh words and threats has progress. I live by myself, and my father comes back to check up on me every now and then. Recently, since I've been living by myself, I had friends come over and hang out. Soon, my dad found out that I've been having peopleover my house with out his permission and going to the neighborhood pool without his consent. When he found out he kicked me out the house, ever since then I've been staying with my aunt. I've seen my dad twice, to get more clothes from the house and get my braces checked. We've made plans for me to stay at my aunts house, since it's better fit for me than staying at home by myself. But after my dad found out that if he let me go stay with my aunt that he wouldn't get my ISS check every month, he changed his mind and said I have to come home. I don't want to go back to the threats and verbal and physical abuse that he's put me throught before. What can I do, so that I don't have to live with him and be alone at my house with no parental guidance ?

[ccsmod4]

I cannot live here anymore

Hello,

Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like you felt better staying with your aunt as opposed to living practically on your own with your dad. It’s good that you feel that having some guidance suits you more than the alternative. Perhaps your aunt and your father could work out some kind of compromise when it comes to your financial support. Have you talked with her about having a talk with him? Another option might be for her to consult with a legal expert in custody and family law.

You are welcome to call our 24hr crisis line at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or visit www.1800Runaway.org (NRS live chat). We are here to listen and help with exploring options.
How does that sound?

We hope that things work out in a positive way for you.
Good luck and Take Care,
NRS

[Unregistered]

I can't no more

I can't live in my house anymore. I am 11. I am your but I can't stand where I live. My mom has shown zero love or souport. My dad is a greedy person who can not even give me a dollar. For my birthday last year he did not say Happy Birthday, and gave me a bag of m&m and $5. My dad has a very good job and a lot of money. My mom as I said in the beginning she never shows love, care, or souport in anything. My mom has always loved my bigger sister. I have fallen into major depression. And I have tried to kill myself. I always feel lonely. And I want to leave. The only person. I know I that loves me is my grandma.she lives in another country (Guatemala). I really hope you can help me.

[ccsmod3]

Re: I can't no more

Hello and thanks for reaching out and sharing a bit about your situation. It sounds like you’re going through a really hard time and we’re sorry you’ve fallen into major depression. We're also sorry your last birthday didn't go so well. You also mentioned you’ve tried to kill yourself so it really sounds like you’re at a breaking point. Please know we’re here to listen and provide support to the best of our ability and there’s also http://www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ if you are feeling suicidal.

You deserve to feel love and supported and unfortunately it sounds like you aren’t getting that from your parents. You mentioned you have your grandma, but she’s all the way in Guatemala. While it’s great you know your grandma loves you, we can’t imagine it being easy having her so far away. If you’d like to brainstorm other options for support, we’d be happy to do that with you. Feel free to try out our Live Chat to continue talking. Good luck!

[Unregistered]

i cant be here at my house

Hi im 15 years old just turned...15 i live in a 3 bedroom apartment my sister has 5 kids she lives with us then theres my mean sister she has a daughter and theyre all kids and my older sister who has no kids lives with us and theres my mom my 2 brothers and my 1 younger sister . I come home and want to do my homework but theres always a disraction, my mom is so strict she never lets me do anything not stay for a club or anything she thinks im doing something bad which im not , i lied once. i told her mom i have to stay after today for my history teacher but i was really with my L.A teacher because she helps me and it gets me out of the house and i have peace and quit and some time do to the majority of my homework my older sister my mom lets her scole me im not a seriouse person so she was asking me i want a note from the teacher i didnt bring it home i forgot and i didnt know how because i wasnt with my teacher i told her i was gonna be with so another day passes my mom calls her and my teacher told her she didnt stay with me my mom threatend me and swear shell beat me up. my dad is not around and he doesnt care i sat with my mom peacfully and told her i wanna leave and she yelled she said if i leave or run away shes putting me in a mental hospital or a group home why,,,? im not suicidle or anything but i just cried wishing i can go . i would still go to school and get an education. so i smiled when my mom was saying prostitutes and she described them funny i smiled and she punched me in the lip and said to shut up . and i started crying she is in the room now whispering to my sister everything that happend and how she doesnt belive me and how i stay after school she thinks im doing something so bad i need help i want to run away tonight immidiatly when theyre sleep but i live a little further from my friends and school and i have no money i want to get away i come home the kids yelling my name asking me for my hw to play with i share a room with my 30 year old sis with her daughter plus my sister and my older sister is so mean! to me my mom hits me when she talks to me when i try to explain myself to her but she cuts me off when i ask can i please explain she goes dont ask me that ********! and starts yelling every single saturday we wake up really early deep clean the whole day no breaks while the others sit down . (adults) my mom lets my older sisters talk to me anykind of way and hit me taunt me and scull me im scared to run away because of the people out there my mom calling 911 i have a run away letter ready she toke my phone away today and i cant call my friends or text them im SCARED WANNA LEAVE & DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. i probably missed spelled my words because im in a rush my mom will walk in here anytime now someone give me advise PLEASE!