hospital, cutting or suicide?

[ccsmod1]

Re: hospital, cutting or suicide?

Good to hear that you’re planning on calling them when you can. Most of them are probably business hours, just so you know.

It’s completely understandable why you would feel like a burden to others, since you’re the one that has to fight for yourself. It’s not fair that you have to be the one putting pressure on your parents for help; it’s usually the other way around. That just shows how mature you are and how aware you are of your needs. In the end, YOU are important and you deserve just as much happiness and peace as everyone else. So even when you feel like giving up, just remember that. We’re here to support and empower you to make the best decisions for you. Plus, you’ve been able to ask us for help and you haven’t put any burden on us!

[Guest]

Re: hospital, cutting or suicide?

Urgh.
I've tried EVERYTHING and I'm back at killing myself again. I don't even know if I want to. It's so hard to think that if I could even make it another 15 years in my life.
And people keep saying that once I get out of high school that my life will get better--I only have 2 years left. But I know that it won't get better. I know the pain and the depression won't go away.
alksjdlfjlaskdjfklasjdflk

I'm just soooo scared right now and I'm scaring myself sooo much. I don't know what to do anymore. I really don't.

[ccsmod7]

Re: hospital, cutting or suicide?

Thanks for reaching out to us again. Sorry to hear that things are not going well at the moment. The last time you contacted us you mentioned that you may try and get in touch with some of the resources you were given. Did you try any of the numbers that we gave you before? If so what was the outcome of those calls? Where you able to speak with anyone that was helpful? It’s great that you have been able to open up about this situation, but it also sounds like you are having suicidal thoughts again. Feeling suicidal can be a very scary situation, and one that’s not always easy to open up about, so you should be very proud of yourself for being able to come back to this forum and share your story. While you wrote that killing yourself is an idea that has crossed your mind, you also said “I don’t even know if I want to.” It sounds like you are pretty frustrated and fed-up with the situation, which is completely understandable. But you also sound like an incredibly strong person who is reaching out for help, and that is an amazing thing.

If you haven’t already tried some of the resources that were given, do you still think that is an option? If you don’t feel comfortable calling on your own, you can always give us a call and we would be happy to do a CC with the agencies and help advocate for your situation. As said before most of these places are probably open during weekdays, so that may be the best time to call. In the meantime, stay safe, and if you feel that you are at the point where you are not going to be safe you can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY, there is always someone here to help, 24 hours a day. Best of luck and take care.

[Guest]

Re: hospital, cutting or suicide?

I did try and call them, and I even started going to a therapist, but nothing seems to be helping. I'm too afraid to open up to anybody about much of it if I'm sitting right there in front of them, or even on the phone or like instant messaging because I know that I'll start crying and I know that they have to report if I'm having even more suicidial thoughts or if my situation "gets worse" so it's really hard for me to actually reach out for help through people I know or would come to know. I know they want to help, but I'm almost keeping myself from getting help. I don't know how to actually open up and get help.

Like I said and you quoted, I don't know if I want to kill myself. I always go back and forth on killing myself, or at least like running away or dropping out or doing something but I know that once I do it I can't go back and change my mind. We don't get a rewind button for our lives and that makes it extremely difficult. That's almost the only thing keeping me here. I don't really have any friends to talk to about any of it that will actually listen and help because it's like I've told them so many times that I'm going to kill myself that they don't believe me anymore, even though I feel more of an urgency to do it each time. And my parents won't listen, as if they would even care. I already have a date and method set...I don't know if anybody will be able to get me to not do it this time.

[ccsmod3]

Re: hospital, cutting or suicide?

Hey,

Glad you were able to call them but sounds like they weren't able to help you where you find it necessary. Fortunately, we are an agency where we hold true to our confidentiality and anonymity statements: as long as you don't share identifying information about your location or identity, we can talk about whatever you'd like.

It also seems like you are trying to make the best decision for yourself and trying to think it out as best as you can...you have progressed so much throughout these last few bulletin post. Would you be willing to call in and talk with us on the hotlines? Again, as long as you don't give us any identifying information, there will be no reporting. We're at 1800.RUNAWAY

We'll be here when you call,

-NRS