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19 and sick of living here.

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  • 19 and sick of living here.

    Hi, I'm 19.
    I'm a college student but current live at home when school isn't in session.
    Overall I have a good relationship with my family but at times they truly get under my skin sometimes for good reason but others not so much. Lately, I've been having a lot of issues with my dad. He never listens to me or what I say but instead thinks of everything in his best interest, to put it nicely. He's self centered. We mainly argue about my cats. We have 2 cats and 1 dog. I love my pets more than I probably should and try to be a good owner. Well, a while ago, my aunt had us watch her cats while they were away for a few months and us not realizing how territorial our own cat was, let this happen. Our male cat sprays around the house now and obviously it's not good for the house or furniture. My dad wants to get rid of the cats but he isn't even trying to take them to the vet or buy them products to relieve the stress. My cats runaway from the sight of him, they do not like him and this frustrates and upsets me because I have to leave for months at a time and I don't know what happens when I'm gone or what could happen. As silly as it is, it upsets me while I'm at school to know my cats are in distress.
    He has taken to putting up this kind of barrier to keep them in our basement which, by the way, isn't a very pleasant place to be and I've told him it's going to make things worse and that the cats are terrified of it. Well, we had a screaming match about it because I let the cat out so he could come to my room but my dad freaked out and my cat (who hasn't come up to my room in about a year) ran up to my room. Which my dad and I ended up yelling at each other so much that I started to cry and my voice hurt since I don't normally ever yell. It's been about 45 minutes and my cat is still in my room and to know that I'm leaving my pets that I entirely love with someone who doesn't like them or want anything to do with them is awful.

    I had cleaned the entire downstairs yesterday and while my mother was proud, I was only to be told by my dad this morning that I did an awful job. Which is really heartbreaking to be told that after working very hard. I very rarely get told anything by him so for him to immediately see what I've done wrong without having any kind of conversation really sucks.

    I want to runaway with them and not look back. Obviously still go to school but I honestly don't see the point in living here anymore. Yeah there's a roof over my head and things but lately my family hasn't really done much to help me. They do more taking.

    I was supposed to be saving money for when I go back to school so I don't have to ask my parents for money and yet it's magically slipped away this summer. Somehow I ended up having to buy groceries, etc for the house. I have spent about 50 dollars this summer for things I wanted which weren't even things to be exact, it was food for when I'm on break at work since I don't eat at home most days due to waking up only a few minutes before work. My bank account went from having a few hundred dollars to only double digits in about a week because my parents are constantly asking me for money. It's stressful for me because I don't have a job on campus and I also don't want to take out a bigger loan for school just so I can have money to do things such as retreats and class trips. I mean it's kind of embarrassing to have 20 dollars on a NYC class trip and everyone else has at least enough to last them the day. Money isn't everything, I know that but at the very least, it should be better spent.

    I just want to take everything and leave. I want to take my belongings, my pets, everything and just go live my life but I don't know if I can or if I'm being irrational. I've pondered about this for a very long long time though.

    I just cannot take this. I love my parents but I also love my pets. My dad has never owned a pet in his life and all of a sudden thinks he knows everything.

    I'm just really distraught and I don't have any friends or family to go to that will understand so being anonymous here is best to help me out.

  • #2
    Re: 19 and sick of living here

    Thanks for reaching out and sharing your situation with us. It sounds like you are going through a rough time at home right now, especially your relationship with your father. You mentioned that you have been home during your time off at school and your concern is with the way that he treats your animals. It sounds like you really care about your pets and it's understandable it's stressful thinking about leaving them at home when you are at school, especially if you know your dad is not very fond of them. The good thing is at 19 you have the right to live on your own and be out of your parents home if you choose. The difficult part about that is trying to figure out how to do that financially. If you did end up leaving do you have a safe place to go? Perhaps you could look for a roommate and see if you could get a job on the side while you are in school. If you don't feel you can take your cats out of the home right away it may also be an option to consider a friend or relative that could take them in for a bit.

    It sounds like you really just need some support with this and a way to talk through things. Keep in mind that there is always someone here to listen and here to help. If you would like to discuss your situation more in depth you can always contact us at our 24 hour hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). There is always someone available to provide support, discuss safe options and even find helpful resources in your area. We also have a live chat available from 4:30p to 11:30p CST. Our services are confidential and anonymous. Feel free to contact us anytime. Take care.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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