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How do I get out alive

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  • How do I get out alive

    I live with my alcoholic mother and my younger brother in very rural poverty. I have an older brother who ran away when he was my age, 16. Ever since my older brother ran away, my mom has been an alcoholic. All of her children have a bad relationship with her and try not to be around her. My mother has had at least 4 different boyfriends in the past 10 years. Some of them were abusive. She has men over at our house frequently and I know that she cheats on her boyfriends. I also know that she has been the other woman before. She has made our already old and decrepit house an unsafe environment. One of her boyfriend's was married. His wife broke into our house one morning threatening to kill us with knives. I thought I was going to die then. Thankfully the woman was arrested. The woman who tried to kill us lives only 20 minutes away. I fear that she will come back again. I've been told that I have PTSD from the entire experience. Some nights I hear things and call the police or my friends crying. I can't sleep some nights. My mom refuses to move. She doesn't have to pay rent at the house we live at. On top of all this, my mother kept from me that she had cervical cancer after birthing my younger brother. I spent a lot of time wondering why she never told me. Finally I confronted her, while she was drunk, and she was an emotional wreck. It had never occurred to her that I also have a cervix and am susceptible to having cervical cancer. My mother had it, my great grandmother had it. I have symptoms of cervical cancer. I begged my mom to make me an appointment to get it checked out but she still hasn't. I feel completely on my own. I have my own vehicle and I am attending a great early college school. I can't leave this area because of school. I am a junior so I have two more years. I want to be something in life, and have a happy life after all of this tragedy. I don't know how to get out of this place alive! I don't know if I can last two more years.

  • #2
    RE: How do I get out alive

    Thank you so much for reaching out for help. It sounds like you have been through so much. It must be very difficult to deal with the consequences of your mother being an alcoholic, and it sounds like you feel like you might have PTSD and anxiety. That sounds really tough. It takes a lot of courage to reach out for help. Have you ever thought about talking to a counselor or therapist at your school? If you aren't sure about talking to a school counselor, you can always call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) for support. It sounds like you might be thinking about running away or looking at what kind of options you have. We can help you figure out what your options are and help you make a plan to stay safe. It sounds like you are a very bright and courageous person, and like you have been through so much. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. Please call or chat with us online on Chat is available every day between 4:30pm and 11:30pm CST. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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