Last of the bunch

[Unregistered]

I am a 16 year old female who is looking for a way out of my parents home. They are not physically abusive towards me and they provide for my primary needs such as food, clothing, shelter, etc... I am the last of 6 kids to whom my mother was semi physically abusive to the first three and to the rest of us she was psychologically abusive. I was raised mainly by my siblings, so I am very independent. i had already asked my parents to sign the emancipation papers and the refused. I live in WA so it is nearly impossible to get emancipated with out your parents consent. i have no job but i am currently looking for one. I don't have great relationships with my family though i still sometimes chat with some of them. I feel like my parents want to continue treating me like a child, because they don't want another child moving out before 18.They think that controlling me and making sure i have no choice in the matter of my life is best.They often forget I'm even here though if i am quiet for so long or if i'm a a friends. on multiple occasions my mom hadn't picked me up simply because she hadn't remembered me.They often have no time for me but they do when it comes to what i'm going to major in and what not. My grades are highest when I'm not involved with my parents because, they tend to want to draw attention to themselves and if you don't pay respects to them, their feathers get ruffled. I was raised to be a strong person and to be a self learner. I am mature, I have a plan, and I have a great support system from my boyfriend and a family whom i will call the "X" family. I wish to continue my education in running start and I have already figured out what I want to do with my life. I wish to become a physical therapist and i am willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that dream. I want to move in with my boyfriend (20) and his friend when i turn 17. I am not allowed to see my boy friend because he is atheist, he shares almost none of their beliefs, and he had to lie to his mother about my age when we first started becoming friends. he is moving out of his parents house and he has a steady job as a mechanic. he wants to take care of me, but i also wish to provide for myself. I would like to live with him, but i don't want him to get in trouble for harboring a minor. my parents would press charges. staying 2 more years with them is not an option, but neither is staying with any of my siblings or with family "x". The reason why I cannot stay with my parents is because, A) The are psychologically hurting me by calling me names, gossiping about me , walking over me, and making every thing my fault, B) they are hindering my reach into adulthood, C) I do not trust either of them,because they have both lied and manipulated me and my siblings. I respect them as my superiors for now, but as people they have not earned my respect. My mother cheated on my father my father ignored it even when my older sister had tried to till i'm about it there has been more instances as well but this just comes to mind. .and D) All of my siblings are screwed up somehow by my parents and i refuse to be like them.
I just want to live my own life, the way i want to live it s life is too short to live it any other way. I don't want to be bogged down by loads of negativity from my parents. I'm a hard dedicated worker and i know i can make it on my own. If i were to stay with my boyfriend, how likely is it the cops would go after me? If my boyfriend reported to the police i was staying with him, would i have to go back? Is there any other option? I'm sorrry the grammar is so horrible I'm writing this at 3 in the morning.

[ccsmod9]

RE: Last of the bunch

Hi there,

Thank you for posting on the National Runaway Safeline bulletin board. You sound like a very mature 16 year old who has a lot of goals and aspirations. It sounds like you're not going to let anything get in the way of achieving your dreams, and we applaud you on that. We're sorry to hear that living at home is unhealthy for you psychologically. You do not deserve to be treated poorly by your parents.

You brought up having to go back home if you're located at your boyfriend's house. If the police do locate you at your boyfriend's or another location, their likely response will be to return you home. You asked how likely it is for the police to come after you if you move in with your boyfriend. Generally, he could be charged with harboring a runaway. We cannot say the likelihood that he will be, because police response varies even between towns. One way to find out how the police in your area will respond is to call your local non-emergency number and ask them.

One option is to move in with your boyfriend or family X, if they are willing to take the risk for you. Another option is to consider going to a youth shelter. We have a large database of shelters, if that interests you. We also offer an option called conference calling, in which a liner from NRS would mediate a conversation between you and your parent(s). In that conversation, you could bring up what you are feeling and what could help you feel happier at home. There are lots of options to consider, and we're here to listen and to help in any way we can.

If you'd like to talk further, would you consider calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)? We're available on our Safeline 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. We also offer a live chat service from 4:30 to 11:30 pm Central time every evening. Chat can be initiated by going to www.1800runaway.org and clicking the red live chat button. We hope to hear from you soon.

Best of luck,
NRS