Family Issues?

[Guest]

I'm 14 and I don't get physically abused but I think maybe verbally. Hope this isn't just another teenage rant + doesn't waste your time.

My Dad has some kind of blood pressure problem and is always yelling and saying hes doing all the work around our house. My Mum is really nice to me. My older sister has depression and has recently been sniping and being rude to me. The younger of my 2 older brother's is always being rude to me, making stupid comments or try to start an argument until I say something back and then he'll storm out the room into the next room and complain I'm being annoying and I'll end up getting in trouble. The older of my 2 older brothers is aspergeus.

That about sums it up.

Today is just an example but when my younger of my older brothers was hoovering and put the hoover attachment leaning on the chair, when it fell he yelled out my name as if it was my fault when it was nowhere near me. I told him it wasn't my fault and I was no where near it and my Dad told us to stop arguing then my brother said that he didn't say anything which is obviously a lie. My sister wh was in the next room then called out that of course it wasn't my fault, its never my fault. Which is what my family always says when I say its not my fault.

I've thought a few times of running away and a few more times about hurting myself deliberately which I've done before. (I used punched myself in the stomach when I did something wrong for a while but I stopped a year or 2 ago.). I have IBS, exzma(however you spell it) and think I might have depression. It really gets to me, what should I do? Thank you for taking your time to read this.

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Re: Family Issues?

Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. We are glad that you chose to share your story with us and really appreciate that you reached out to us today. It sounds like things are pretty difficult at home for you right now. You said your dad yells a lot, your older sister is rude to you, and it doesn’t seem like you are close with either of your brothers. It must be hard to live in a house where you feel as though you are being verbally abused. You mentioned that your mum is really nice to you though. Have you ever talked with her about how your father and siblings are treating you? How was that? If you haven’t been able to talk with her, would you like to? What might you want to say to her?

It sounds like there is a lot of conflict in your house and you don’t feel like your father and siblings are on your side. It also sounds like you feel like you are unfairly blamed for things that happen—like the hoover attachment falling off the chair. Being blamed for things you have no control over isn’t fair. We can understand why that would be upsetting and frustrating. Have you ever been able to talk with your family about how this feels? Have they been responsive? If you haven’t tried addressing this issue with any of them, what has stopped you? If you were able to talk to them, what would you want to say?

It is understandable that you might be thinking about running away right now. Have you thought about where you would go, what you would bring, and how you would survive? How do you think your parents would react? In the past when you have thought about running away what has stopped you? It sounds like you and your mom might be close, do you think you could talk to her about this?

You also said that you used to punch yourself in the stomach when you did something wrong and that you are thinking about hurting yourself. Do you feel like you have done something wrong? It sounds like your family sometimes tells you that things are your fault or that you have done something wrong when that might not really be the case. Are there other things going on that are making you feel like hurting yourself? Has there ever been a time in the past where you have wanted to hurt yourself but then chose not to? What helped you then to overcome the urge to hurt yourself? Are these things that you could do now?

It sounds like there are a lot of things going on for you right now and you said that you might be depressed. If you are willing and able, you could call us anonymously at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We could talk about what is going on at home, the possibility of you choosing to leave home, and/or your thoughts on hurting yourself. Sometimes it can help to just have someone that will listen to you. We can also help you find services in your area, like a safe place to stay if you do chose to leave home or a counselor that you could talk to on a regular basis. While we can’t tell you what you should do, we can help you come up with a plan of action that you are comfortable with.

Take Care,
NRS