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  • homeless and scared

    i am 17 yearsold, i'll be 18 in a few months. my dad kicked me out when i was 12, for no good reason, and now i live in a different state, homeless. ive lived with a lot of families before this and ive somehow managed to screw evertything up with all of them. i dont mean to, honestly, i just have this thing where if something is getting too good to be true, i leave. i've tried so hard to change it, buti can't. i am still going to high school, but its hard to stay there because i have a learning disability. i have no family who will talk to me, and i've regretfully turned to drugs and cutting. i dont have any friends either. my life is extremely lonely and scary. i need help but i dont know where to go. i cant go to the police because they will find out im using drugs and probably arrest me. and im also afraid to stop doing them. i am at my wits end and dont know what to do. my life has never gotten this bad. i think ive hit rock bottom.

  • #2
    Re: homeless and scared

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you have gone through a lot and that you are having a really hard time right now. I’m sorry your dad kicked you out of the house when you were so young—you definitely did not deserve to be neglected like that. You must be a really strong person to have been dealing with this and manage to stay in school.

    It sounds like since you were kicked out you have been able to stay safe by living with different families, but right now you are homeless because you feel like you have screwed everything up with them and can’t go back. What makes you feel this way? Do you think that if you called them asking for help they would be willing to give you a place to stay (even if it is a temporary arrangement) or provide you food? Maybe they could help you find somewhere safe? If you aren’t staying with a family right now, how are you surviving?

    It is understandable that you might be feeling pretty lonely and scared right now. I’m glad that you decided to reach out to us at NRS. If you are willing and able, you could call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. There will be someone here to help 24/7. We may be able to find you a safe place to stay in your area, talk with you about what your options are, and help you develop a plan that you feel comfortable with. The Covenant House Nineline (1-800-999-9999) may also be able to help you find alternative housing.

    You have expressed feeling pretty sad and that your life experiences have led you to doing drugs and cutting yourself. Have you ever talked to someone about this? How did that go? If you haven’t yet talked to someone, what has stopped you? Is there anyone you would like to tell? Have you ever thought about going to counseling? If you are interested, that is something we can connect you with.

    Take Care,
    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: homeless and scared

      well, i've always had a problem with authority, and i have trust issues because when i was 8, i was raped by one of my dads friends. i've never really had time or ways to deal with that. and also, my dad was pretty abusive. a couple families ive lived with have not been so kind to me. ive even left the nicest families, but ive called them and they said i cant come back because i ruined it. and plus i wouldnt wanto to be a bother to them, again.

      and as for survival, i have my guitar and i play for change, for food and for drugs. i go to diferent places so im not at one place more than i should be. im at the public library, i have a library card. its hard out here by myself. but i am independant, so i know how to take care of myself, but im sick of doing all of this. i want a freind, i want a job. i want to be clean.

      isn't the covenant house in Los Angeles? im not in L.A. ive been to a shelter for kids my age and it was really nice there. they wanted me to get reconnected with my family, you know the home run program? but my family wouldnt cooperate. i was using then and they found out and kicked me out. i couldve gotten saved and i ruined it. i dont know who to talk to and there is no one i trust at school. im only staying in school so i can get a good education to get a job so i can get out of this mess. and the thing thats stopping me from counseling or whatever, is that im HOMELESS. nobody wants to talk to me. people at school dont know my situation so they dont ask.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: homeless and scared

        Thank you for sharing more of your story. It sounds like you have been mistreated by many different people in your life. I’m sorry that for you home was not a place where you could feel safe and supported. Considering, it is understandable that it may be hard for you to trust others.
        You say that you have never really had the time to deal with being raped by your father’s friend and being mistreated by your father. Is this something you are interested in dealing with now? If you are ready to talk, you could call RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) at 1-800-656-4673. Through this number, you will be directly routed to a center in your area. I know you said that you don’t live in L.A., but as an example I found out about the Rosa Parks Sexual Assault Crisis Center (323-751-9245) in L.A. by calling RAINN. You also expressed that you are ready to stop using drugs. The Alcohol and Drug Helpline (1-800-821-4357) would probably be able to help you find a treatment program in your area. They have a database of low-cost and no-cost programs. If you would prefer, you also have the option of calling us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here to talk and can also help you find local community resources. It is understandable that you feel as though no one wants to help you because you are homeless, but if you are willing to give us a call we might be able to help find you services that can help. We can also call agencies on your behalf to make sure our referrals are appropriate.

        You are right—there is a Covenant House in Los Angeles. They have a crisis center as well as two transitional living programs. They also do job training, health care services, and have an alcohol/drug counseling program. Does this sound like a place you might be interested in? If so, you could give the Covenant House Nineline a call (1-800-999-9999). There may also be other places that are similar to the Covenant House but closer to you. If you are interested in trying out a shelter again or entering a transitional living program we could help you find somewhere and do a conference call with you and the agency.

        Again, thank you for sharing more of your story. You seem to have a strong drive to succeed and meet your goals of getting off drugs, finishing school, and getting a good job. We are here to support you in any way we can and help you navigate life.

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: homeless and scared

          thatnx a lot, that really helps. and yes, im willing to deal with those things now because they are a big reason why i use drugs. i'll give the covenant house a call soon, or u guys.

          thankx again. ur a big help.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: homeless and scared

            We are so glad that we were able to help. You can give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY anytime, we are open 24 hours a day. Best of luck with everything and take care.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment

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