Home problems. 17-legal immigrant-

[Unregistered]

I am 17 (about to be in 9 days), male, legal immigrant in the US. I want to leave home. When I was born I was only raised by my grandparents and my mom and dad weren't married when they had me, they only got married because if not, there would be SERIOUS conflict between both sides of family. I grew up with my mom, but my existence caused a huge rift between my my parents and another side of my family because my dad tried to care for me. But then he gave up when the rift occurred. I can't help but feel responsible since the whole fight was because of me. My dad and I, we never got along, when he left that job its when things got worse. I always noticed that's it's as if my brother and sister whom are both younger are better since they weren't an accident like I am. I'm always pushed around emotionally and at times physically by him. I started working at 12 by becoming a martial arts instructor and still am today, I bought all my stuff on my own (my phone, my laptop, etc) I pay all the bills for my phone and such but. Recently my father has taken a large portion of my money out of my account. Money that I worked for on my own, that of which he still owes me, and he's gone out to strip clubs with friends of his and has gotten drunk before (that's where my money went) then comes where he blames all wrong on me. I've been depressed and suicidal and it hurts even more when he barrages me with comments about flaws then treats me like I am nothing, we get into heated arguments and it's because I try taking a stand for myself when he tries to make me seem lower. I do what I'm supposed to at home but.. The problem is just him and his attitude and then saying it's me and my attitude when I'm taking a stand. We came to the conclusion that we WILL hit eachother if we argue again and that we won't let up. My take on this was simply for self defense, but then he said that when we do he's going to come at me and won't let up. It's going to be bloody, then days later which is now 2 days ago, we got into another argument and my mom tried stepping in and she was called a traitor then more arguments broke out.. I fished out my papers, such as social sec. number, Employment authorization card, and then getting my birth certificate, medical records and transcript tomorrow. I want to leave, I am going to attempt getting the money he owes me then leaving, and I believe he won't file a report if I leave because he will only go to jail for certain circumstances, he won't risk it. I can manage, I have skills for good jobs, such as working in a hospital or bank. Or anything with marketing. I can renew my papers and I also can get a scholarship due to an accomplishment in a business class. I can do well on my own and I do have somewhere out of state to go.. I want to leave a goodbye note saying how I'll be good, I'll continue to study and not end up in alcohol or drugs.. I just want to start on my own and break free from all conflicts. Any advice?

[ccsmod9]

RE: Home problems. 17-legal immigrant-

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out and posting on the National Runaway Safeline bulletin board. It sounds like things are tough for you at home, especially with your father. No one deserves to be hit by their parent. We're sorry to hear that things aren't going well at home. It sounds like you're thinking seriously about leaving home.

While we don't give out advice at NRS, because the decision to leave home is your own, we can help you discuss options. It sounds like you have somewhere to go. Is this a safe place for you? What is your plan for getting out of state to this location? There may be options you haven't though of, like a youth shelter or emancipation, that may interest you. We are here to listen and here to help in whatever way we can.

We would love to talk to you about your situation and maybe help you come up with some options. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) or by live chat with us at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Standard Time. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck. Take care and be safe.

- NRS

[Unregistered]

My plan for getting to this location is by train. I'll go early in the morning then arrive and just pay my fare then go.

[ccsmod8]

RE: Home problems. 17 - legal immigrant

Hello,

Thank you for writing into the National Runaway Safeline bulletin board again. From your previous post, it sounds like you’re going through a very rough time right now. You definitely don’t have to be treated that way. Especially when you’re at home; a place that is supposed to be a safe and loving place for you. You always have the right to report any abuse to your local police department or child protective service in your state. If you don’t feel like they will take you seriously or you might not know of how to do that, you can always call us anytime you want. There is always someone here to help you.

It sounds like you have been thinking about running away for quite awhile now. Since you might be considered under the age of majority for and still a minor, your parents have the right to file a runaway report of you. What that means is that if a police officer were to pick you, they would see that you have a report filed under your name and take you back home or hold you until arrangements can be made to take you back home. Keep in mind that these are just the general rules that apply to most states, but since we aren’t legal experts we can’t say anything for certain. Every states might have different laws on how runaway children are handled; sort of a case by case thing. So you always have the option to get into contact with your local non-emergency police number and ask them hypothetical questions about runways and how they are handled in that specific state. This should give you a more direct answer. What do you think your father would do if you were to leave and run away from home?

What you stated in this post is that you have plans for getting to the place that you are running away to by getting a train ticket. What do you think your overall plan will be (i.e how long would you be able to stay, financial stability, school options, etc)? It might be a good idea to think about every option of your plan and even discuss your ideas/plans with the person that you are planning on staying with. If something happens and your plans change, what do you think you would do?

Once again thank you for writing into the NRS, we are always here to listen and here to help you with everything we can. You can also call into our 24hour hotline (1.800.RUNAWAY) for a more immediate response, as well as connect you to some resources that we might have on hand. Another service that we offer here at the NRS is our chat room which is offered from 4:30pm to 11:30pm/CST (www.1800RUNAWAY.org). If you feel more comfortable with that opinion we are more than welcome to contact us through there.

Look forward to talking with you and best of luck.

[Unregistered]

Nobody would file a report because under certain circumstances, if anything involved police, my whole family would be detained. Because of legality status and past suicidal tendencies with me. Sounds selfish if I say I'm using this as a chance to leave but no, all the problems here would stop. A part from my goodbye note "I will continue school, I will make it through, I already have college credit and have skills necessary to work at a hospital, a bank, or anything to do with marketing. In school I can also push for a scholarship in business and that is what I will do. I will be wary of borrowing and spending, no alcohol until I'm 21. And when I do, only in moderation, I will eat well and take care of myself, I can make enough to land an apartment. And friends, I will only choose helpful people. I don't need many. No drugs ever. I will keep myself clean and healthy. Food, I'll eat every day. " and etc. I've already began my process, I fished out my documents, I'm obtaining my birth certificate and passport, I'm getting my transcript. And true I may be under legality age, I acknowledge that but that isn't going to stop me, and that doesn't mean I'll act improperly. I know what I can and can't do. The conflicts here need to stop.

[ccsmod9]

RE: Home problems. 17 - legal immigrant

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out again. At this time we have provided you with some information on running away and a listening ear. For further support or resources, we strongly encourage you to contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and look forward to your call. Lastly, please note that we offer a live chat via our website at www.1800runaway.org every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.

Best of luck,

NRS

[Unregistered]

Sorry if I sounded stubborn.. It's just the stress.. But thank you.. Anyway.. My main concern now is just the education. I want to continue studying. That act that you and other moderators have mentioned before.. It's in act for anyone who's running away? My main focus is school..

[ccsmod6]

re:

Hi

Thanks for reaching back out to us. It sounds like school is your main focus and you would like to continue your education. The McKinney-Vento Homeless Education Assistance Act was created for homeless youth and kids. We have provided a link if you wanted to read more about the act: http://www2.ed.gov/programs/homeless/guidance.pdf

We hope this information helps. Remember it is sometimes easier to receive assistance via our 24 hour hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Our hotline is toll-free, anonymous, and confidential. Live assistance is also available via Live Chat between 4:30pm and 11:30pm CST.

Best Wishes
~NRS