lost😪

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I have been through a lot growing up. I understand no matter what your situation is, someone somewhere is doing worst but what I'm personally going through is too much for me to handle. I grew up with off and on parents. I've seen then physically fighting, I've seen my mother be handcuffed, I've had to stay with my dad because he lied and said my mother isn't safe for me and my brother to live with. I've always been like a second mom for my little brother. I always watch him and get him ready. Going through all that was hard enough as a young girl. I was kicked out of the house last year and they made me leave with nothing but the pajamas I was wearing an slippers on my feet. I went to my bestfriend house. Her mom would of let me stay with them as long as I needed. But my parents came and got me, they said I had to stay until I was 18. I was so close to leaving. I got to a mostly white school, I'm African American, Indian, and creo. I don't have a problem with whites but it can be hard sometimesz feeling like an outcast. I have one true friend. All the other betrayed me, I have major trust issues. I had a time where I felt ugly and useless, like nobody wanted to be with me. I've had a lot of relationship problems. I was always cheated on. I'm not a straight A student, basically average. I do try my best. I just feel like nothing I do is ever good enough..I had suiscide thoughts yesterday and just wanted to runaway but I don't need a record because I plan on going into the army. I'm just hopeless 😓

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RE: lost

Hello,

We are very sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. It sounds like you have been through some extremely stressful experiences both in your family and in school. No one deserves to be mistreated or have their trust betrayed. But it’s great that you’ve reached out to us. We are here to listen and here to help in any way we can. You definitely have options and the ability to improve your situation.

You write that yesterday you had some suicidal thoughts and were considering running away. That sounds pretty serious. Have you ever talked to anyone you would feel comfortable with about these thoughts -- maybe a trusted friend or school counselor? You are not alone and it really helps to be able to talk about your feelings and frustrations.

Some questions you may want to think about when considering running away are: How would you support yourself? Can you remain safe? How would your parents react? What about school? There’s a lot to think about.

Sometimes a situation can be made better in ways you may not have thought of yet. We would like to work with you to see what options you have but would like to get some more information about your situation. Would you be willing to give us a call? We are totally anonymous and confidential and are a safe place to talk about these sorts of things. We are here 24/7 every day. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY. Or, if you would like to chat with us you can do this through the chat feature on our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Standard Time.

Of course, we aren’t the only source you can call to get help. If you are experiencing any thoughts of self-harm you can always call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.

Again, we hope to hear from you. Good luck!

Best,
NRS staff