I'm near the end

[Tired]

I really need some help. My parents don't approve of my sexuality nor my beliefs and they think it's up to then to save me. They want to restore my beliefs so I will be saved. I've been having a really hard time. They took away a lot of people I care about because they thought they were bad for me. I'm failing school and feel unmotivated to do anything most days. I have severe moods swings and everything's just gone downhill. I am asking for help because I tried to take my life on Sunday. I planned to take a certain amount of prescription drugs to overdose and cause liver failure. I was only four pills away from od'ing but I got scared of the pain. I need help and am so lost. I'm worried that I'll go through with it next time because I actually enjoyed it. I was happy thinking that I'd be over and I could be done with everything. I don't know what I can do. I thought of support groups but realized my parents aren't going to let me go to a place that tells me who I am is okay. I don't know if I should leave home or if I even can. I never thought this is what my life would be like when I was 16

[ccsmod13]

Re: I'm near the end

Hello,

It sounds like you are going through an extremely difficult time, especially at home, and have been at odds with your parents on some important issues. We are very glad you reached out to us and we're sorry to hear that your parents have been disapproving of your sexuality and your beliefs. You deserve to be respected and certainly do not deserve to be shamed regarding your personal choices, beliefs, and preferences. You are amazingly courageous to have endured some truly difficult circumstances and reached out to for help. For that, we sincerely commend you.

You mentioned experiencing severe mood swings, a lack of motivation, and struggles with school. That sounds like a lot to be dealing with on top of typical everyday stressors. Have you ever spoken with a school counselor or mental health professional? They can be a very good resource from whom to consider seeking help or someone to just talk to. You and the professional may be able to explore the way you've been feeling, possible reasons why, and how you would like to go about improving yourself. Also, you said you attempted to take your own life by overdosing on prescription drugs. It is understandable if you felt a sense of relief from the stress and shame that seems to be a part of your daily home life. However, we believe there are ways for you to advocate and support yourself to help you improve your quality of life. One way you can do that is by contacting the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. They deal primarily with people who are struggling with suicidality and self-harm. Also, for information and other sources of support and advocacy, you can visit www.nami.org, the website for the National Alliance on Mental Illness.
We want to be a continued source of support for you. If you would like to speak with us or need additional resources, please call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30-11:30. Do not hesitate to contact us. Take care and we wish you the best.

Sincerely,

NRS