Struggling

[Sham414]

Hi, I'm 16 right now and I'm turning 17 in June but I have been going through some tough time with my adoptive mother for the last three years out of the six since the adoption. One time it got so bad that she hit me about six times and grabbed my shirt forcing me to submit. We disagree about something everyday. I find myself many a times regretting the adoption more each day. Recently, we got into over me going out with my friends. Every time I go out with friends, I either come back with a lot of chores or I'm getting in trouble for something stupid. So a norm for me is to stay locked in my room to avoid any trouble with her. I tried so hard to make amends with her but it goes back the same everyday. I'm not a bad kid, anybody can vouch for that but i can't take this much longer.

I have been thinking about leaving and maybe try to get my own place or just leave for a week or so which is possible because I'm home schooled. I don't have an actual job but i would help her in the daycare and she would give me money once a week. Please give advice, I don't want to do anything on the spur of the moment without logical information. I know the law says i can't do anything until I'm 17 with ways to keep myself stable, but i need immediate relief. I don't want to go back to the system, because then i wouldn't be able to see my little sister who is also adopted.

[ccsmod8]

RE: Struggling

Hello,

Thank you for writing into the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been going through a lot living at home with your adoptive mother. It must be very difficult for you to have to deal with that every day. You definitely deserve to feel safe and comfortable in your own home. It takes a long of courage to reach out for help and trying to come up was a good plan.
You stated that your adoptive mother has, in the pass hit you about six times and then grabbed your shirt until you submitted, was that the only time that has happened or does this still happen from time to time? We definitely want you to feel safe while living at home and you don’t deserve to be treated that way. Have you mentioned this sort of action to anyone else before? Maybe like a school counselor or a close friend. You have every right to report any kind of abuse going on with either the police or child protective services.

It’s great that you have personally been trying to take the steps and make amends with your adoptive mother. It sounds like you’re a pretty mature young adult. When you do try to talk to her about what has been going on, how does that conversation usually go? It sounds like you have given a lot of thought to what you want to do in your situation though. You thought about possibility leaving home for a week to have some relief from everything. If you were to just leave your house, what kinds of things do you think that your adoptive mother would do? What is your overall plan (i.e. housing, transposition, financial stability, school options etc)?

Once again thank you for writing into the NRS, we are always here to listen and here to help you with everything we can. You can also call into our 24hour hotline (1.800.RUNAWAY) for a more immediate response, as well as connect you to some resources that we might have on hand. Another service that we offer here at the NRS is our chat room which is offered from 4:30pm to 11:30pm/CST (www.1800RUNAWAY.org). If you feel more comfortable with that opinion we are more than welcome to contact us through there.

Look forward to talking with you and best of luck.