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I'm 17, I have my GED and I just want to be my fiancé.

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  • I'm 17, I have my GED and I just want to be my fiancé.

    I'm 17, in 246 days I'll be 18, I've been engaged since June of last year, I've only seen him one time since then for 2 days and then my mom kicked him out, at the time we lived in TN, he had got on greyhound and came from CO, now I live in FL with my mom and step-dad, and my fiancé is in CO, I want to just be with him.

    Me and my mom have been fighting a lot recently, and when we do she she talks bad about my fiancé which just makes me mad and want to cry at the same time, I'm depressed because I can't be with him, and he is depressed because he cant be with me, I'm really scared if he can't be with me soon I'll lose him, and I would die if that happened.

    Can you please tell me a way I can be with him without having to runaway to do so, is there anyway to get away from her so I can be with him before we both become suicidal from being separated.

    P.s. When my mom got custody of me last Sep. She said he could live with us, when he was there she changed her mind and kicked him out which also put his mom on hard times, it's been exactly 6 months and 1 day since I seen him, please help us.

  • #2
    RE: I'm 17, I have my GED and I just want to be my fiancé.

    Hello,

    Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us by writing into our National Runaway Safeline bulletin board, we are always here to help and here to listen. From what you have told us about your situation it sounds like you are going through a very difficult time right now. It can be very frustrating to be told one thing by your mother only to have her change her mind the next. To better understand your situation, let’s break things down a little bit more.

    From what you have told us about what has been going on, it sounds like your main concern is just trying to see your fiancé as soon as possible. You stated that your mother has once told you that your fiancé could stay with you at your house, but after two days she did not want him there and kicked him out. What kind of things were going on at that time that you think might have changed her mind so suddenly? Maybe that could be a starting point for you and mother to talk about that specific issue that might have come up and to continue to come up causing you to fight a lot recently.

    Referring to what you said about not seeing him for 6 months and 1 day, have you thought of ways that works for both you and your fiancé to see each other more that didn’t involve running away from home? Something that you and your mother could see a little more eye-to-eye on (i.e visiting each other’s homes every few months)?

    If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) you can talk though potential solutions that you may have thought up for the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).

    Hope to hear from you soon.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      When he was there she would also not leave us alone, she would just sit there and stare at us and she would get mad if he just hugged me. He's my fiancé I figured we had a right to some alone time. But when she told him he had to leave she gave us no reason or grounds to do so.

      Also the day after he left she started yelling at me asking me if I was pregnant and she wanted to force me to have a abortion that would not be needed, I was not pregnant and we had done nothing wrong.

      When this all happened I was 16, and he was 19, he'll be 20 next month, I would like to spend his birthday with him, even though he wasn't able to spend mine with me. I did think maybe his age had something to do with it, but she won't tell me why she made him leave or why she don't like him.

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: I'm 17, have my GED and I just want to be my fiance

        Hello again,

        It sounds like you want to go to your boyfriend’s house for his birthday. If talking to your mom is not an option about how you are feeling, do you have anyone else who is supportive of you? You do have the right to feel safe in your own home.

        It's a tough situation that you're in because it can be difficul to leave to see your boyfriend without your mom's permission. A whole new set of risks come into play, if you leave home without your mom's permission (could be forced home by the police, and if you are found at your boyfriend's, he may be charged with harboring a runaway). Sometimes, people in your situation try to get permission from their guardian in order to avoid those risks.

        In order to get permission, there might be some things to think about. What are some things that you're willing to compromise on? If you're asking your mom to compromise with something, what is it that you are able to compromise on? Also, writing down what you want to say before you talk with her, is helpful because it makes sure that you say everything that you want and helps to avoid things getting heated.


        One way that we might be able to help you is through our conference call service. If you called into our hotline (1-800-RUNAWAY), we would be able to call your mom to have a three way conversation. That can help to make sure that all voices and sides are heard.
        If you would like to further discuss your situation, we can be reached at any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) or by live chat at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Standard Time. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

        - NRS
        Last edited by ccsmod0; 03-26-2014, 08:22 PM.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I would be willing to comprimise if she'd let him come here for his birthday.

          I think her main concern is me getting pregnant because he does not have a job at the moment, I can understand that, but I would be happy if I did get pregnant.

          Me and another friend of mine who is still in TN have a bit of a plan. She comes here because she just turned 18 and we get a apartment, she'd have to sign the lease because I won't be able to until I'm 18, and once she signs the lease, I would get my fiancé here and we would all be happy, I don't know how my mom would like that idea, be even if we just got the apartment and he moved in with my friend (she's lesbian so there would be no concern for me), he would still be where I could at least see him daily until I'm 18 and can move in with them. Does that sound like a doable idea to you?

          P.s. My friend and my fiancé would both have to get jobs when they get here because I would be the only one with a job when I get one and I would be paying all the bills there until they do, which would be hard for me, but I would be able to handle it I think.

          Comment


          • #6
            RE: RE: I'm 17, have my GED and I just want to be my fiance

            Hi there,

            Thank you for continuing to reach out and post on the National Runaway Safeline bulletin board. It is brave of you to share your story, your concerns, and your plan here with us. It sounds like a tough situation you're in, and you sound like you're trying hard to come up with a workable solution.

            We don't give out advice at the National Runaway Safeline, but we can provide resources to you, your friend, or your boyfriend. These resources could include places to get employment help. We also aren't legal experts here at NRS, but we do want to let you know that in general, the age of majority in most states is 18, so without your mom's permission, you may not be able to move in with your fiance until you're 18. Since you sound like you're willing to compromise, you may be interested in the conference call service we discussed in our last post. That way, you and your mom might be able to have a mediated conversation.

            We are here to help in any way we can. At this point, we've provided you with some ideas, so we'd like to urge you to call us if you'd like to talk further, at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Or, if you're more comfortable, you can live chat with us by going to our website, http://www.1800runaway.org and clicking the red button in the upper right corner. We are available to talk by phone 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. Chat goes from 4:30 to 11:30 pm Central time. We hope to hear from you in one of these ways soon!

            Best of luck,

            NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              I would like to get a job as soon as possible so I could get them here, I'm close to them.

              My mom does sound like she would be okay with the apartment idea, just not if my fiancé is there, she may but if my friend signs the lease him being there would be up to my friend, not my mother I would think, but I'm sure I can talk her into it.

              The only other problem I have with my mother besides this is that she treats me like I'm a 7 year old girl instead of 17, my stepdad tells her to chill and let me do things, and normally when he tells her she does them, but sometimes she don't.

              I have a collage here I want to go to, I personally think for a young woman my age that has been through what I have, I have a good head on my shoulders. (When I was younger I lived with my father until I was 16, he verbally, mentally, and phsically abused me, but he never did sexually abuse me, which for that I was thankful for.) I think with all I've beeb through, I'm still a virgin, I've only kissed one man (my fiancé who I'm trying to see), that my mom would understand that I can take care and handle myself.

              When I lived with my dad, I bought my own clothes, normally I bought food for myself, and everything I needed, because I never told my mother what was going on, I hadn't told anyone but my fiancé, and he was afriad for me, so I finally told my mother and got out of that, but I still can't see my fiancé because she don't like him I think.

              Comment


              • #8
                RE: I'm 17, I have my GED and I just want to be my fiance

                Thank you for reaching out again. At this time we have provided you with support, discussed a few options, and offered to look up resources when you call in. For further support, we strongly encourage you to contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and look forward to your call. Lastly, please note that we offer a live chat via our website at www.1800runaway.org every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Heres my advice...

                  I encourage you to wait till your seventeen and then run off and live with the love of your life... have s#x, kids, and all the love you want. When your mom will see you happy she will understand.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    RE: I'm 17, I have my GED and I just want to be my fiancé.

                    Hello,

                    Thank you for getting into contact with the National Runaway Safeline and replying to this thread and giving your support. It is always greatly appreciate when someone is reaching out to help someone by giving advice.

                    It sounds like you are suggesting that this youth wait a little long until they were 17 years old. It’s an interesting point to make to these particular youth, it sounds like there might be more support and resources that might be available to some youth at the age of 17 years old. If you do have any more questions about this or if you do want to discuss your options a little further you can always call us on our 24hour hotline (1.800.RUNAWAY) for a more immediate response, as well as connect you to some resources that we might have on hand. Another service that we offer here at the NRS is our chat room which is offered from 4:30pm to 11:30pm/CST (www.1800RUNAWAY.org). Thank you again for writing into the NRS bulletin board, we are always here to listen and here to help you with everything we can.

                    Good luck and hope to hear from you soon.
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment

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