parents

[Guest]

I feel like I'm not good enough for my parents anymore. They're cursing me off because of grades even though I'm doing good, but I guess I could do better. I hate how they critize me everyday. I always ask them if they'll watch me do gymnastics (which is something I love), my mom always makes up excuses not to go. I wish that sometime they could be proud of me. I've been finding bruses and stuff on my body and now I'm starting to wonder if they got there purposly or "accident." I want to leave but I feel like my friends want me to stay.

[ccsmod8]

Re: parents

Hello,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us at the National Runaway Switchboard with your story and we imagine that this is probably a very difficult time for you. It must be hard on you to feel that your parents do not think you are good enough for them. It sounds like you care a lot for them despite the way they have been treating you lately. It is hard to understand why they choose to curse at you when all you are trying to do is prove to them that you are worth every ounce of love and affection from them. When you say that you should be doing better in school, we hope that you are not being to hard on yourself. Although we all could do better at something in life doesn't mean the effort put into trying your best doesn't deserve that same accolades. After all, it is easier for a child to show and prove if they are constantly encourage. Are they always trying to bring you down and how do they do it? Do your parents take the time to look into your work and guide you if you needed suggestions on improving your grades? Are they involved with meeting with teachers to figure out ways to better your situation at school and at home? It is one thing to criticize within reason but without any motivation from parents, a child a left to wonder why am I not at my best or why is it that I do to get this sort of negativity thrown at me. We imagine that they way they go about criticizing you has cause you to doubt yourself more. One of the most important things to come away from that situation is having the confidence and understanding of who you are and what you are not willing to sacrifice yourself for. It sounds like you are not willing to give in to the negative criticism even if they come at you often. It is encouraging to know that you are willing to seek outside help and learning other mechanisms for coping.

We want to be there for you in this time of need. We want you to know that we are here 24 hours a day to help guide you in whatever direction you choose. We want to offer you some options and to help you figure ways to cope with your tough situation. It is interesting that your parents are not willing to encourage other activities in your life that is sure to add to your growth if they tried harder. It is good to hear that you have other passions in your life. It is proven that children engaged in extracurricular activities often excel in other aspects of school. What times are you available for gymnastics practice? What do your parents say to you to excuse themselves from attending? Are they extremely busy with work or other events around that time? What is it that needs to change for them to take better interest? Do you go alone or do you have someone that is able to take the place of them going? Is there someone they trust to take you? Is there someone you trust to take you or is it very important for you that you attend? It sounds like it would mean the world to you if they were to tag along sometimes to your events. What are some things you can think of that you can do to start get them to understand how important is it for you that they attend your events and take interest in you in general? Everyone needs someone to feel proud with their achievements and you certainly deserve it. You shouldn't have to beg for it. Is there someone at school you are able to open us to at this time to discuss your feelings? Do you a counselor or a trusted friend right now?

We are proud of you for recognizing in yourself the importance of love and affection within the family and hope you are able to come to terms to figuring out some way to get your parents to start giving and sharing of that love to you. We are grateful for your story and thank you for sharing it with us. We are all here for you and want to hear from you if it was even for a short while. We are here 24 hours a day and all of our liners are qualified to listen and take you seriously. We are confidential and we never judge you. If it were to figure out a plan of action for where you are heading, it is something we take seriously because your safely is a priority to us. What is your plan for leaving? Do you have any idea where you might want to stay and with whom you are planning to stay with? What is your expectation for what life is going to be like and what your parent's reaction are going to be? Do you know if you just need some time away from home and are you able to stay with a relative to cool off for a while? Have you spoken to anyone about your feelings? What do you expect to happen if you were to return home after some time or what means of survival you are going to use when you leave or if you decide to stay? We can assure you that running away is not illegal but if someone harbors you, this makes it illegals. Do you know if yours parents would file a runaway report if you left. If they did, it means that you get a status as a runaway until you are brought back home. Usually it is the duty of any police officer to return you home to your parents if you were found. What do you think would happen if this were to happen? Do you think life is going to be hard for you more or would you run away again? The only place you are allowed to stay is a shelter and they are also required to call your parents for notification or consent. However, it is important to not end up on the street without a plan and even laying low with a friend could be one option for you. Do you have someone like that right now. When it comes to harboring a runaway, it is a right that it reserved for your parents to charge people sheltering you but it is only if they found out about where you were hiding and then choose to act on it but it is not like the cops are going to come and arrest people suddenly but in some states the cops can take an individual to prison. This is not a scare you at all but to give you a heads up on what to expect.

The last thing that we wanted to talk some more about was why you felt that bruises and other stuff appears on your body. Do you feel that someone at your house is doing it or is it a matter of having easily bruised skin? What sort of bruises are they and how serious? Do you feel like you are being abused. We are not in the position to define abuse but we are mandated to report abuse and can do this for you with the proper authorities. However, reporting is one thing but to find reasons for abuse requires evidence and witnesses to come forward to back you. Regardless of the outcome of that, we are here for you and hope that you are able to take the time to consider some of the issues we helped to discuss in our response. Please take this time to stay strong and remain safe. Good luck.

-NRS