stepdad issues.

[Unregistered]

i have hated my stepdad since i was 10. im 15 now. he's been with my mom since i was about 3. i has always hated him. he is taking control of everyhing that makes me happy. i have great friends that spend the night, but not anymore because if they dont give him their phones, then they have to leave. he yells at me constantly. he causes me so much anxiety and stress. im mildly depressed at home, and so much happier anywhere else. im happier in high school that i am in home. i have a plan situated for me when i turn 18 and leave. ill have a job, me and my friend's family talked about me living their when i turn 18 or if i runaway before then. i cant stand it anymore. i wanna know how much i can get in trouble in indiana and what would happen to anyone who helps me? what if i leave before 18?

[ccsmod10]

Re: Stepdad issues.

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have been experiencing an increasingly difficult situation at home with your step-dad. It seems as if he is very controlling and that this is causing you a lot of anxiety and sadness. Have you ever spoken with a therapist or counselor about what has been going on at home? It sounds like you have very supportive friends who have really been there for you, but it may also be helpful to speak to someone who is more familiar with these kinds of issues.

You mentioned that you have been thinking about leaving home and possibly moving in with your friend's family. Have you ever discussed leaving home with your mom? Just so you’re aware, when it comes to being a minor and not living at home anymore there are usually three legal ways to do so. 1) Get parents/guardian’s permission to live elsewhere 2) Be removed from the home by Child Protective Services. This is in cases of abuse and neglect. And is not usually the first thing that comes from a CPS investigation. 3) Get emancipated. Indiana does allow for emancipation if the youth (1) has sufficient money for the youth's own support; (2) understands the consequences of being free from parental control and protection; and (3) has an acceptable plan for independent living. Also keep in mind, it is not illegal to run away but it is illegal for someone to harbor you if you do not have permission from your parents.

Do any of the above sound like realistic options for you? Obviously just leaving is also an option. It’s just important to really think about before doing so. Just the fact that you wrote in to us shows that you are trying to gain knowledge to make the best decision for yourself.

We’re not here to tell you not to runaway or even help you runaway. We are here to listen to what’s going on and try to help you figure out all the options you have. If you would like to talk more about what is going on and explore what options are available to you, please give us a call. We are completely confidential and anonymous. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and we are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We also have chat services that are available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST) and you can access that through our website (http://www.1800runaway.org).

We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

~NRS

[Unregistered]

stepdad issues pt.2

i have great friends. theyre a big part of my life. no, i have never talked to a therapist or counselor. im afraid to, because what if they tell my family about the talk? i know my stepdad is going to yell at me about it. it's a living hell here. i like the counslelor at my school a lot, but im too afraid. all my friends know i hate my stepdad, ive tried liking him but i just cant. i have too much hatred for him. my mom an him argue a lot, and she knows i hate him but she doesnt do anything at all. my other brother hates him, but our little brother doesnt because that's his dad. my stepdad and mom show favoritism towards our youngest brother. i dont think theyll give me an emancipated. my stepdad doesnt let me do anything, so i have very little chanches of getting emancipated. a friend of mine told me to tell cps how unhappy i am, but another friends said they wouldn't do much since im not being physically abused. how much trouble can someone get for helping me? i know they can in indiana because you told me. but how much trouble can they get?

[ccsmod10]

Hello,

Thanks for reaching out to us again here at NRS. It sounds like you are worried about talking to a counselor about what’s going on at home in case he or she tells your family members. We can’t tell you for sure what information a counselor would share with your family. Usually counselors maintain confidentiality with the people they see unless the counselor thinks it is necessary to relay information discussed with another party. If you like your school counselor, you could confirm with her what kind of information she will keep confidential if you decide to talk to her. It’s great that you have your friends near you for support if you are not able to talk to a counselor.

It sounds like you would like to consider emancipation, but you don’t think you qualify because of the limitations your stepdad puts on you. Filing a report with Child Protective Services is an option, but like your friend said, they usually need some kind of evidence of abuse in order to warrant an investigation. If you feel like your stepdad is neglecting you, you could try to report neglect to CPS, and we can help you report that to CPS.

If you runaway to stay with your friends, and your stepdad and mom file a runaway report, then the cops can look for you. If they find you at your friend’s house, then your friend’s family might get in trouble for harboring a runaway. The type of trouble they can get into varies by state; it might range from being considered a misdemeanor to being considered a felony. If you wanted to know what kind of trouble harboring a runaway would entail in Indiana, you could call the non-emergency police department in your local county. We could provide you with that number if we had the county you live in; or you could try doing an internet search with the phrase “Non-Emergency Police____” and enter your county in the blank.

We are here for you 24/7, on the lines at 1-800-RUNAWAY or via chat from 4:30 pm to 11:30 pm central time at 1800runaway.org. We look forward to talking to you about your situation and how you feel about this additional information.

Good luck,
NRS

[Unregistered]

stepdad issues pt3

okay I live in allen county Indiana. I would really like to know more about getting emancipated

[ccsmod3]

Re: stepdad issues.

Hello again,

It sounds like you are interested in emancipation and we do have basic information on that subject. Indiana does offer a formal emancipation process as follows:

Indiana Code §31-34-20-6:
Sec. 6.
(a) The juvenile court may emancipate a child under section 1(5) of this chapter if the court finds that the child:
(1) wishes to be free from parental control and protection and no longer needs that control and protection;
(2) has sufficient money for the child's own support;
(3) understands the consequences of being free from parental control and protection; and
(4) has an acceptable plan for independent living.

You can find more information here: http://lawdigest.uslegal.com/minors/...-of-minor/6508

It can be a lot to figure out, so please feel free to Live Chat from 4:30-11:30pm CST (http://www.1800runaway.org) or call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Good luck!

-NRS