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My stepdad hates me and I can't stay here any longer.

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  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there and thanks for reaching out!
    Sounds like things are really stressful living with your stepdad and it is taking a toll on your mentally. It sounds like he gets angry easily and that can be really hard to deal with.

    Perhaps there is another adult whom you feel comfortable talking with: friend's parents, aunt, uncle, cousin, grandparent, neighbor, family friend. We are also 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 and online via our chat at the top of the page, so feel free to reach out anytime to talk more about all this! We also offer conference calling if you think having a third party help facilitate a conversation with your mom would be helpful. Again, reach us at 1-800-786-2929 to do that conference call.

    There is also other supports for you regarding the depression and anxiety you are feeling. You can text a volunteer counselor anytime at 741-741 or find a local therapist, counselor or support group by calling NAMI at 1-800-950-NAMI or contacting SAMHSA at samhsa.gov. They have an online map of resources based on city and state where you can find local support.

    We also have a large database of affordable/free, youth-specific services that we can provide you with if you call or chat us directly.

    Thanks again for reaching out. We understand that takes a lot of courage and strength!

    Best of luck and stay safe!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My step dad hates me

    My step dad has never liked me and in the beginning I tried to be civil and get him to like me as I longed for a father figure, but with his bursts of anger and him blaming EVERYTHING on me (like one time he found a staple on the floor and got mad at me for it although it was a staple gun staple and he was hanging insulation up) its minor things like that all the time and I'm afraid my chances have run out for him. I have no money and can't get away from this house...I'm so stressed and have depression and anxiety bcuz of him. I just want to leave this house and never come back, but I have no where to go no money to go, I'm stuck in this stupid house that I don't feel safe in anymore. I just want a place to feel safe and loved again...

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for contacting us, it takes a lot of courage to reach out and share your story. It must be really hard to live in a home with so much tension, it sounds like some of the things your stepfather says are really hurtful. Running away is a big decision and it can be very stressful to figure out what you want to do.

    We care a lot about your safety here at NRS, and we know that stressors like this can be overwhelming at times and it sounds like you have turned to cutting yourself as a way to cope. It’s totally understandable that you would want to do something to give you a feeling of power and control when you may feel hopeless. To Write Love on Her Arms is an organization dedicated to supporting people who use this coping mechanism on their road to self-realization and recovery. You can check them out by going to https://twloha.com/.

    It sounds like your stepfather listening to you when you are trying to express your thoughts and feelings about your current situation. It could be a good idea to work with a local family counselor or have a conversation mediated by a school counselor/social worker, trusted friend, or family member to help clear the air. If you'd like, you can also call us directly and we can conduct a conference call with your stepfather so you have a safe environment where you can express yourself.

    If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

    Stay safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, I'm Haitian and my stepfather hates me. Im like that bad but respectful child. I smoke, and come home late but it's not that. He hates me cause he thinks that I am disrespectful even though i never did anything to him. I respect him and treat him as if he's me own father . He calls me pig and how me and my little sis are bad but we aren't and I'm tired if crying everyday, cutting myself, smoking , leaving my house, I'm just tired and I can't stay here. I just turned 15

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community-based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis-related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Please help my sister and I. I have a sister who is 11 years old and I am 12 nearly 13. My mum and dad had a divorce when I was 2 and we miss him but we are grateful we still see him. We had a great relationship with our stepdad and when mum and him had a child who is now 5, life was stressful. Our stepdad is mean to us. When we tell him we love him, he ignores us and when we try to give him hugs he just pushes us away. It has been like this me years. He is quite rude to us and kicks us down from the dinner table for no reason. He doesn't say goodnight to us. We end up in years. He smacks our 5 yr old brother when he misbehaves and we hate that. We don't speak to him much anymore. We get the blame for everything when it was him who did something wrong. We are always arguing with him and we are all fed up. I have ran out the house only once and he caught me. Me and my sister have had enough and have thoughts about running away and killing ourselves and I am getting in a lot of trouble in school because I have given up because all I can think about is him being mean and I never want to come home. He has just bought us a new trampoline and doesn't let me go on it because of school. He doesn't know how I feel and we have both lost trust with him. I don't know what to do but me and my sister hate it here and want to move school and live with our dad. What can we do? We are always in tears. We hate it.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod15
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,
    Thanks for reaching out to us. We’re so sorry to hear that your stepdad’s behavior has made you feel that he hates you. It sounds like the things he says and does really make it challenging to connect with him, and your mom’s response hasn’t been as supportive as it could be.

    One option is to try to discuss it again with your mom. Perhaps writing down your thoughts and bringing up concrete examples will help you communicate to your mom how difficult things have gotten between you and your stepdad. Beyond that, it may be helpful to think about what you’d like your relationship with your stepdad to look like, and whether this is something you would be comfortable talking to him about. If neither of these options seem like something you’d be comfortable with, it may help to reach out to a school counselor, school social worker, or school psychologists. They’re there to support you, and might be able to help you figure out your next steps. Finally, you can always give us a call. We are here to listen and support you, and we will do our best to help you troubleshoot your situation with you so that you can decide how to approach your situation.

    Whatever you decide, know that we are here for you. We won’t tell you what to do, but we will do our best to help you stay safe with whatever you decide to do. You can reach out to us 24/7 by phone at 800.RUNAWAY (786.2929). We are also available every day via chat. We’re here to listen, here to help. Stay safe!

    -NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Although my problem is a bit lower scale. I always feel like my stepdad hates me. He is constantly saying things that did not come out of my mouth to my mom. And then later says to her ____ doesn’t want to do that or ____ doesn’t like that and what not. When I never said those things to begin with. He also only cares about my mom and not about my brother and I. I am a bit younger so my brother doesn’t really care all too much. But he always accuse me of doing something wrong that I haven’t done. I also feel like he is really awkward sometimes, I know i shouldn’t hate anyone I don’t get along with, but I can’t hold any conversation with him because we both don’t want to talk to each other. I will also ask random and naive questions sometimes to him and he will just question back, “why are you so annoying”. And when I tell my mother she simply just laughs it off, as if I didn’t care. Thanks and I hope you can help.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi, Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. The way your step dad is treating you sounds just awful. No one deserves that kind of treatment, and it's good that you're reaching out for support. It must be frustrating to be facing this kind of treatment from your stepdad and hard to feel like it is affecting your relationships with your mom and stepsister, too.

    If you ever want to talk to someone about this situation in more detail, the National Runaway Safeline is always available--we're a 24/7, anonymous and confidential hotline, and we're here to help. You don't deserve to be called names like stupid or pathetic by anyone, including a family member, and you don't have to go through this alone. It makes sense that you're feeling unhappy and manipulated, but you're doing the right thing by asking what you can do to take care of yourself and improve your relationships in your family. It also makes sense that you're feeling unsure what to do about your relationship with your stepsister; it's normal to want to have a good, positive relationship with a stepsister, and also normal to sometimes find it hard to talk to a 7-year-old.

    You might consider thinking about the situations in which your stepdad mistreats you or calls you names. You can also think about whether there's ever an opportunity to tell him how he's making you feel, and what would happen if you did. Sometimes it can help you to tell the person how their behavior is making you feel, if you think they'll be open to hearing you out. You might also consider telling your mum how you've been feeling and asking her if she can help you out. Sometimes writing down how you feel in a journal or a letter can help with having tough conversations like this. You'd also be able to call the NRS anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you would like help planning out how you want to talk to your family.

    You mention that your stepdad has suggested that you move out. It might help you to think about specifically how it makes you feel when he says this. You might also want to ask yourself whether moving out is an option you want to consider, and what it would look like if you did. You don't have to decide anything right away.

    This sounds like a tough family situation to be dealing with, but it sounds like you're doing your best to move forward. You can always reach us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY or on chat at 1800runaway.org. Best of luck!

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My step dad treats me like ********. He calls me names like stupid and says I’m so pathetic and two faced. He always try’s to get my mum to bollock me for the slightest thing. He’s recently started manipulating the situation with me and my step sister, we have small arguments now and again, buts she’s 7 and I’m nearly 14 and she gets on my nerves. He’s started saying I can only invite friends round when she isn’t here and then saying if I’m not happy move out and go with your dad etc. My sister has now started turning on my due to the way he acts with me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. No one deserves to be treated the way you have been bt your stepdad. Everyone should be respected and feel safe at home. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis-related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

    We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

    Best of luck,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My stepdad argues with me about everything he calls me names all the time tonight he just started a big fight over nothing again saying I’m a ******* over and over and that he doesn’t want me to ever meet his child tomorrow and that I can ******** off and that my real dad doesn’t give a ******** about me. Before he has thrown a pillow at me and I have thrown it back thinking it’s all for fun until he snapped and started a big fight and forced us all to write him notes saying why we love him. He always does this he has even told me to kill myself and has hit me over the head a few times then tells me he “taps” me and my mum doesn’t do anything ever then ********s on me just to make him happy I just feel like I want to die or runaway anything that will be better then this I don’t know what to do ((((((((((((((((
    Last edited by ccsmod1; 04-12-2019, 05:05 AM.

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  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re feeling hurt and frustrated by the treatment you’re receiving from your stepdad. It can be difficult to reach out for help when you’re being verbally abused at home, so we’re glad you’ve taken the time to do so.

    You mentioned your stepdad wants you to return to foster care, and that he is choosing to remove you from school. That must put you into a difficult situation. If you are thinking about running away, depending on how old you are and the state you reside in, there could be various possibilities. If your stepdad chooses to file a runaway report, you could be returned home. However, it is possible that if you are being abused, you could be removed from your current home. If you would like to file an abuse report, you could call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. We do not give legal advice, but if you have questions regarding the outcome of you running away, you could also reach out to law enforcement in your area.

    To discuss more options and explore your situation in more detail, you could reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. We also have a chat option at www.1800runaway.org. We are available 24/7, so don’t hesitate to reach out. We look forward to hearing from you.

    Best,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My stepdad is trying to make me unsuccessful, buy taking me out of school, and he always disrespects me, completely trashed my bathroom and bedroom, he also wants me to be put back into foster car, I wish he would actually like me, but he only like my brother, and whenever he’s at the home, it’s like 3 people v.s me and I feel completely destroyed mentally, because of this verbally abuse stepdad.......please help me

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS
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