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My stepdad hates me and I can't stay here any longer.

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  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hi, My story or situation is nothing compared to the posts I've been reading, but different people cope with worse situations better, unfortunately my situation is not that bad, but it's worse than anything else in my life, for me of course...
    My mom and dad got divorced when I was 12 months and remarried about when I was 18 months,
    my real dad was trying to stay a float but had his ups and downs, after I called him one night telling him about the way my stepdad was treating me he decided enough was enough and to move closer, so now he lives an hour away instead of about 4-5 hours away,
    I now get to see him less than I did when he lived far away, and he is struggling to pay his bills,
    obviously that's kind of an awkward situation for us both because we don't really have that connection or bond to be open enough to talk about it...

    recently things have become worse at home,
    I moved out of the hostel because next year is my most important year of high school and I need to stay focused, but since I've moved back there's been more tears on my pillow at 3 in the morning that ever before...
    my mom had 2 girls with my stepdad, 5 and 7 years younger than me,
    my stepdad is constantly being unfair towards me in the way he treats us,
    I get along with the sister that's 7 years younger than me
    but for some reason my middle sister and me hate each other,
    i think that through the years I knew that she was getting everything she wanted and that kind of built up a hate towards her,

    I'm very scared of my stepdad as he has shown numerous signs of aggression so I always just say "yes" and "sorry" even though I know I'm not wrong...

    he will always pick her side, and I can't even get a chance to explain my self or tell my side of a story, when she says I'm mean, he says I'm mean, he yells at me, hits me and sends me to my room...

    my mom used to stand up for me a lot, but he threw a plastic chair at her and since then he manipulates her and she has become a different person, like he brainwashed her with going to Church and everything, they are the wrong type of Christians and I can see that because he tends to swear at me and uses God's name for the wrong reasons...
    my mother was a relaxed person, but he changed her by threatening her, when I would do something wrong that my mom knows wasn't wrong at all he would yell at her and tell her that if she doesn't do something about her daughter than he will and not in a nice way...

    I can't deal with him nor my sister anymore... I have no friends left because of a depression dip I went through so I lost them all as they couldn't understand what was wrong with me, I feel no motivation to fix those friendships at all, yet I don't know why,

    I really want to go somewhere else, any place would be better, I really feel that they would be the perfect family if it wasn't for me being here...
    they have these fun movie nights in my parents room without me all the time, and my sisters get to sleep in their room all the time but I am not allowed to because it's too childish for me,

    I have tried to commit suicide, but all that did was make things worse,
    they didn't do anything, they just yelled at me and said that I'll go to hell if I commit suicide and It's against God's Will..


    j don't know who to turn to, the only person that still makes a light in my life is one of the teachers at school, and I don't see her till next year...

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); (www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org) is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); (www.1800runaway.org) (click on the chat button).
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe and stay strong,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    So I'm 15 and having a quincenera in two days and it's hard with my parents divorced. Today my kinda of step father of 6 years is drunk and is talking ******** about my real dad which make me very upset and even tho my real dad makes me cry almost every day since he's been back from Yuma I still love him. But my kind of step father says he loves me and my brother and sister because he doesn't have any kids and that makes me cry because he sounds sad but him and my siblings and I are always arguing and usually My mom takes his side like today, they invited friends for thanksgiving and he got drunk and he come into the room saying these nice things to us and then when his friends left me and my brother went to get some food from the kitchen and then he started saying these thing about my dad when my mom was showering and he kept Slaming the door and when she got she talked to him and then called me into the room saying ' what did you tell him' and I said 'nothing he just came into the kitchen while me and my brtother were eating saying to I was going/ is getting fat and that I wouldn't fit in my dress and that he kept saying my dad would fix my dress in Spanish and that I couldn't understand what he was saying cause he was too drunk' and I was like okay okay. I wanted to cry when he called me fat even tho my mom, dad, brother, and sister has called me fat so many times it still gets to me because I'm so insecure and he started talking about how he wasn't going to my quinceneara all mad and then he started saying that if I wanted him to go and I already told him yes because my moms friend made my feel like a terrible person after I said I didn't want to dance with him for the father daughter dance and then he made me cry, which I try never to do infront of people because my dad says that I'm stupid for crying over dumb things, infront of him and my mom and then after he goes back into his room all mad I stay there crying infront of my mom and she tells me and mean voice to leave and go to sleep and she goes into the room and comes back out and goes to the kitchen and sits there saying why we're always arguing with him when he helps us and 'cares' for us and that he's part of this family, he makes me uncomfortable, I've thought about milking my self so many times but I've never gone through with it. I have light scar on my wrist and deep cuts on my thighs because they've called me fat and it hurts every time they say it and it never gets easier.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod5
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi,
    Thank you for sharing some of what’s going on at home. It sounds really frustrating that your mom treats your sister differently than she treats you. You mention that you’re afraid to talk to your mom because she might think that you’re being hateful. That’s a really valid concern, especially if your mom has seemed “kinda hateful” and different from the mom you used to know. One option you might consider is talking to your mom one-on-one or writing her a letter to let her know how you’ve been feeling. We know it can be difficult to have honest conversations with your family, so it could be a good idea to have another adult around that you trust so the conversation stays calm and fair. That adult could be a teacher, guidance counselor, therapist or family counselor, or even a friend’s parent. Here at NRS, we also offer conflict mediation through conference calling if you need help talking to your mom.
    In the meantime, please know that you deserve to be treated fairly and you deserve to feel supported. We encourage you to take care of yourself in whatever way you’re able, perhaps by cooking, exercising, writing, drawing, journaling, or any other thing you enjoy doing to separate yourself from the stress.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I have lived with me grandparents since 2 years old and at 14 and a half i got kicked out for doing stuff with a guy, that i should not have dont and had to move in with my mom, which my mom seemed excited at first, but then my stepdad and my mom always seem to fight and every time they get in a aureement my mom takes it out on me, and acts as if i did something wrong, its like i never do anything right, and i have a older brother im very close to were 7 months apart but i dont get to see him anymore bc he still lives with my grandparents and i have a 2 yr old brother and a MEAN 6 yr old step sister. my step sister hits my lil brother, tries to get him in trouble all the time calls him names and tells my mom i say i dont like her, when i have never said that, so i try to keep my distance but that doesnt work my mom yells at me saying i make a difference between her and my lil brother, when im not trying to i just always get in trouble for stuff i dont do bc of her,. ive had my phone taken for over a year now im 15 and still havent got it back, but im suposed to at tax time, and im not allowed to go to publice school bc ,y step sisters moms sister in a junior at the high school i was going to and tried starting drama with me. BUt everytime my step sis get in trouble like big trouble like hitting someone in the face lying to the teacher saying we dont have money so shell buy her stuff she has to sit on the couch for like 5 moins bc my mom says she feels bad , she gets away with everything, i cant even get away with making a b in school, and my mom treats me different when my step dad and step sis is a around like shes kinda hateful shes not the mom i used to know, and im afriad to talk to her and bout bc she wont think she is hatefull and shell make me go to my rooom and stay, oh and i have NO contact with anyone else my age, im not allowed to , like if i see my bestfriend since 3rd grade up until 9th when i had to movin with my mom , if i see her in public and give her a hug and say hey my mom acts like she gets mad. and we cant go outsude unless my stepdads home, and i feel as if im always judged, idk i just feel as my mom says she wants me to live my teenage life as long as i can bc when its over its over, but i feel like i cant , i have no way to. honestly it be nice just to get a weekend awy from her and calm down and me not always have to watch my gaurd or something. oh also my mom says she "feels bad" bc my stepp sis rarely gets to do after school activties for her school so she signed us all up for to go for some thing for her school that cost us mone, but my online school has free stuff i can do i just need her to take me and pick me up, but she wont, how come she doent feel bad that i dont get to do stuff for my school?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    We want to thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that life can be difficult and often times hard. We want you to know that we are here to listen and help. You do not deserve to be put down and constantly told you are worthless. You matter. You deserve to be loved and treated right no matter what.
    Unfortunately our aim is not to tell you what to do rather inform you on your options. From there it is your decision as to what you would like to do next. What you should know however is that if you feel you are in danger you have the right to inform the police or school official about that. Some other options are that you can call us here at NRS (1-800-786-2929) where we can talk more about options such as the potential for you to find a transitional housing program, shelter, or any program to help you get ahead if you feel that home will not be able to help you in that goal. It also seems like you might have more people who might want to help on your mom’s side. I might be a good idea to seek help from one of them. They might be able to help get you on your feet. You mentioned suicide earlier we realize that suicide is a serious issue and would also recommend that if you have thoughts or are contemplating suicide you can reach out to us at NRS or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255). You matter and you deserve to be heard and cared for.
    Again thanks so much for reaching out to us. We know it takes a lot to seek out help and advice. We hope that the options mentioned above are helpful and can help pave a way positive solution to the situation you find yourself in. If you do happen to have more questions or concerns please do not hesitate to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or online on our chat option at www.1800runaway.org.
    Best Wishes – NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My stepdad hates me because im not his kid and he tells me all the time. He does nothing around the house except complain or yell at me i've never liked my stepdad and i never will. He yells at me calling me a b****, piece of s***, and sometimes a lazy slob. He told me that if i dont get my chores done before he gets home that i might as well start packing. Im 17 almost 18 in feb and i want to just get out of here i can't take it anymore and im tired of crying and my mom never stands up for me the only person i tell everything to is my grandma and everyone on my moms side of the family hates him. Ive thought about taking my life but dont have the courage to do it but those thoughts always cross my mind. My stepdad said that if i dont get a job that im probably not going to college cause he's not helping me out and i still dont have a car, and ive told him multiple times if i dont have a car how will i get to this job cause he's not taking me and he tells me to figure it out im already stressed with school, basketball, and going home. I shouldnt be scared to come home. what should i do?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re in a tough situation with your stepdad and he is not treating you or your family well.
    If you’re able to, I would encourage you to reach out to a trusted adult, teacher, relative or friend that you can talk to and potentially help you mediate a conversation with your parents about your current situation.

    At NRS, we do offer conference calling, where you can call into our hotline and then we would reach out to your parents. Some people find this as a helpful opportunity to tell someone how they are feeling and what they are struggling with, with someone else on the phone to be an advocate. If you were interested in trying this, you can call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    We can also connect you with individual or family counseling resources in your area that are affordable. It may help to talk with a professional therapist about what is going on either just to vent, or to get some advice. Feel free to give us a call and we can look into this option – we are available 24/7/
    We wish you the best of luck

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    My stepdad is horrible simply horrible He will never admit when he’s wrong and will argue with anyone he’s loud in public and is not afraid to scream at a woman or an aware baby I honestly think he hates me and my brother just yesterday I was just arguing with him over a computer for school and when he realized he was wrong he wasn’t going to get me one my whole family is suffering all he does is watch movies all day while we work our asses off all day because we arue women according to him I really can’t stand him anymore I wish my mom just got a divorce and went back to my dad

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod10
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out to NRS!

    We are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. It can be very frustrating not knowing what to do or what your next step might be from this point on. It’s brave of you to reach out during your time of need.

    It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now. It’s understandable that you’re scared at home. You never deserve to be yelled at in any situation. How you're being treated by step-dad is wrong. You’re always able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with someone you trust, as far as transferring custody. NRS is able to conference call with you if you need help making the abuse report, or we can make one for you. After an abuse report is made, CPS will investigate it.

    We also have legal aid resources in our database, they are experts of the law that may be able to help you and your sister.

    We hope our response is helpful. We’re here to try to brainstorm options with you. Also, talking to school counselors and teachers about what’s going on at home could provide you with great support. You are not alone in this. You are always welcome to call into our 24/7 crisis center if you'd like to talk more about your situation.

    Be safe, NRS

  • Guest
    Guest replied
    i dont know why my stepdad hates me he doest care win my bother does some but i he yells and screams at me i dont know

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about what has happened in the past and also currently with you and your stepdad and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that because you are a minor, if you leave and your parents file a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your parents, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    Do you feel like you can talk to your mom or another adult that you trust about the past or that can support you to get through these difficult times now? If not, we are always here, or you could reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline to talk to someone or get a referral to someone that could help you cope with past trauma. You also deserve to get help and be listened to, even if it happened a long time ago. Don't hesitate to reach out to us at any time.

    Stay safe,

    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod1; 09-04-2018, 01:39 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    Hello everyone. I am 16 years old and well I have gone through the same as you guys. My stepdad when I was in 1st grade started to hit me a whole lot until he stopped hitting me when I was in the 7th grade. I could say there has been plenty of times where our arguments got so bad that it almost ended up in a fight and honestly he has broke me emotionally. You see he is a Marine veteran and now a Correctional officer in rikers island. I've been in mma training for many years now but I yet to have the guts to actually put up a fight with him and honestly he doesn't let me live the life I want to live. In his eyes he does nothing wrong and that I never do anything in life besides play video games and all he does is talk bad about me and always threatens either if it's not the playstation he doesn't take away he is going to punch me in my face. I guess I have been so traumatized by him hitting me when I was young that now everytime that he comes up to me I start having this really strong burst of an adrenaline rush inside of me and like makes me ready to fight him but I won't do it cause i feel too scared even if I have the fighting experience in my life and honestly I have thought hard about running away or killing him honestly that's how bad he has me right now like he doesn't let me live my life and let me enjoy my teenage hood. He gets mad when I'm even on my video games and even if I help my mom clean the house he doesn't like me touching my games he basically treats me like his dad used to treat him but yet he likes my younger brother. I think I've had enough and plus we all recently just moved and i liked the house for a while and well he ruined that for me.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about all that has been going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. Do you have anyone in your life, like another family member, school counselor or other adult you trust, that you feel you can talk about all of this to? It can help to have someone on your side to advocate for you and help you go through options. We are also here at 1-800-786-2929 if you want someone to talk to.

    We understand that it takes a great deal of courage to seek help. You mentioned experiencing emotional abuse and possible past sexual abuse that could still be reportable against your step dad. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at (1-800-422-4453) or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made. They could also help you sift through what you can or cannot report, and see if they can help with past abuse.

    You also have other organizations that are there to listen. Don't hesitate to reach out to the Rape Abuse Incest National Network (RAINN) at 1-800-656-4673 if you want to talk to someone about how you are feeling. They are there to support and listen.

    Stay safe,

    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest
    Guest replied
    I’m a fifteen year old female , and my stepdad hates me so so much. He’s been my stepdad for eleven years and he has always treated me completely and utterly like trash. I feel extremely uncomfortable around him. When I was a child he was accused of molesting me and the charges were dropped and he was found not guilty. But my boyfriend of about six months just asked me tonight if I’ve ever been molested or anything of that concept and I told him about the thing when I was a child and he told me he thinks my stepdad does something to me. Every night my boyfriend and I FaceTime , he told me every night at 4 a.m my door opens. What can I do? I don’t feel comfortable or safe anymore I feel in danger.

    Leave a comment:

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