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My stepdad hates me and I can't stay here any longer.

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  • #61
    Hi, My story or situation is nothing compared to the posts I've been reading, but different people cope with worse situations better, unfortunately my situation is not that bad, but it's worse than anything else in my life, for me of course...
    My mom and dad got divorced when I was 12 months and remarried about when I was 18 months,
    my real dad was trying to stay a float but had his ups and downs, after I called him one night telling him about the way my stepdad was treating me he decided enough was enough and to move closer, so now he lives an hour away instead of about 4-5 hours away,
    I now get to see him less than I did when he lived far away, and he is struggling to pay his bills,
    obviously that's kind of an awkward situation for us both because we don't really have that connection or bond to be open enough to talk about it...

    recently things have become worse at home,
    I moved out of the hostel because next year is my most important year of high school and I need to stay focused, but since I've moved back there's been more tears on my pillow at 3 in the morning that ever before...
    my mom had 2 girls with my stepdad, 5 and 7 years younger than me,
    my stepdad is constantly being unfair towards me in the way he treats us,
    I get along with the sister that's 7 years younger than me
    but for some reason my middle sister and me hate each other,
    i think that through the years I knew that she was getting everything she wanted and that kind of built up a hate towards her,

    I'm very scared of my stepdad as he has shown numerous signs of aggression so I always just say "yes" and "sorry" even though I know I'm not wrong...

    he will always pick her side, and I can't even get a chance to explain my self or tell my side of a story, when she says I'm mean, he says I'm mean, he yells at me, hits me and sends me to my room...

    my mom used to stand up for me a lot, but he threw a plastic chair at her and since then he manipulates her and she has become a different person, like he brainwashed her with going to Church and everything, they are the wrong type of Christians and I can see that because he tends to swear at me and uses God's name for the wrong reasons...
    my mother was a relaxed person, but he changed her by threatening her, when I would do something wrong that my mom knows wasn't wrong at all he would yell at her and tell her that if she doesn't do something about her daughter than he will and not in a nice way...

    I can't deal with him nor my sister anymore... I have no friends left because of a depression dip I went through so I lost them all as they couldn't understand what was wrong with me, I feel no motivation to fix those friendships at all, yet I don't know why,

    I really want to go somewhere else, any place would be better, I really feel that they would be the perfect family if it wasn't for me being here...
    they have these fun movie nights in my parents room without me all the time, and my sisters get to sleep in their room all the time but I am not allowed to because it's too childish for me,

    I have tried to commit suicide, but all that did was make things worse,
    they didn't do anything, they just yelled at me and said that I'll go to hell if I commit suicide and It's against God's Will..


    j don't know who to turn to, the only person that still makes a light in my life is one of the teachers at school, and I don't see her till next year...

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). It sounds like you have been dealing with a very difficult situation with your family. We are here to help in any way we can.

      You mentioned that your step-dad has hit you. No child should ever have to endure abuse, physically or emotionally. In case you would like to report your abuse, Child Help is the national child abuse hotline. Their website is childhelp.org and their phone number is 1-80-422-4453. They are available 24/7. If you are interested in reporting this abuse but do not want to make this call on your own, you can feel free to call in to us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are happy to help you in making that call.

      It is hard to feel like your relationship with your mom has changed and that she no longer stands up for you. On top of that, feeling as though you are not included in the family is an isolating and lonely feeling. If this is something you want to talk through with her so that you can fully express yourself and maybe come up with actionable ways to improve your situation, we have a conference calling service here at NRS to help ensure that conversation stays positive and compromise-driven. You would call in here, talk to us a little bit about your situation, and then we would call out to her mom, talk with her for a bit, and then connect the call. This may also be something that you are comfortable doing on your own or with a friend or family member that both you and your mom have a good relationship with.

      You mentioned that you were staying in a hostel but moved back in with your mom and step-dad so that you could focus on your school work. You also said that you feel as though any place would be better. You know your situation best, but perhaps you can weigh whether living in an alternate place, like a hostel, will be more beneficial than living at home for you right now. If you would like to talk about more youth-focused alternative living homes in your area, you are welcome to call us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), and we can discuss what potential arrangements are available in your area.

      You said that you have attempted suicide. The number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255, and they have a chat option on their website, suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You also mentioned how you have dipped into a depression. Perhaps you already go to therapy or counseling, but if you do not and it is something that interests you, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration has a really great website (samhsa.gov) where you can find resources near you. They also have a hotline number: 1-877-726-4727. It is great that you are aware of your mental health, and these resources can help you connect with counselors and therapists to help teach you tools to manage and understand it.

      It is wonderful that you find a light in a teacher, but it is difficult that you will not be able to see them until next year. Perhaps there is a way you can keep in touch with her to remind you of that brightness, even maybe via email. School counselors are also there to listen and help in any way they can. Teachers and counselors are mandated reporters, so it is good to keep in mind that should you discuss your abuse, they are required by law to file an abuse report. This can be empowering knowledge for you, whether you choose to talk about this with them or not.

      If you would like to talk through any of the above or anything else, feel free to call us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are a 24/7, toll-free, completely confidential helpline. Here to listen, here to help.

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • #62
    My Mum and step dad makes me want to commit suicide. I get told off for just being on my phone. I get told off for every little thing. My step dad treats me differently compared to my brothers. He tellls me off and not them. Its driving me insane. What do i do?!? Pls help me..

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #63
    I ran away the other day because my stepdad and mother dont want me to be with my girlfriend. So i get home and my stepdad proceeds to whoop me so i get up and tell him that he isnt my dad and he has no right. so my stepdad tells my mother i have to leave but my mother is telling me that i cant go anywhere. Can i still leave even tho my mom is telling me no?

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      : Hi, thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We’re sorry to hear what you’re going through with your stepdad. Everyone deserves to feel safe and loved at home. You mentioned leaving—we are not legal experts but generally, if you are under 18, it’s against the law to leave your parents’ or guardians’ home. If you do, they are allowed to file a runaway report with the police. Running away is a status offense, which means that it’s illegal because you’re a minor but you can’t get arrested or have a criminal record because of it. You should also know that if you stay with someone, they could get in trouble for harboring a runaway.
      That being said, if you are 18 or older, you are legally allowed to leave home. Either way, if you decide to leave, your safety is our priority. It’s often helpful to think about where you would go, what you would take, and how you would access money and food. Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat with us online at www.1800runaway.org if you need more help. We are here for you 24/7. Best of luck with everything.

  • #64
    i dunno what to do

    im eleven years old and i have lived with my stepdad for four years now and he's abusive and calls me selfish,lazy and fat i wanna get out of here asap we've been kicked out multiple times i don't know what to do its making me depressed and behind in school he screams at me and my mothers too scared to stand up to him shes turning into a monster too

    Comment


    • ccsmod9
      ccsmod9 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi there,
      Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
      Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
      If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
      We hope to hear from you soon.
      Be safe,
      NRS

  • #65
    My stepdad is trying to make me unsuccessful, buy taking me out of school, and he always disrespects me, completely trashed my bathroom and bedroom, he also wants me to be put back into foster car, I wish he would actually like me, but he only like my brother, and whenever he’s at the home, it’s like 3 people v.s me and I feel completely destroyed mentally, because of this verbally abuse stepdad.......please help me

    Comment


    • ccsmod7
      ccsmod7 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hello,

      Thanks for reaching out to National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you’re feeling hurt and frustrated by the treatment you’re receiving from your stepdad. It can be difficult to reach out for help when you’re being verbally abused at home, so we’re glad you’ve taken the time to do so.

      You mentioned your stepdad wants you to return to foster care, and that he is choosing to remove you from school. That must put you into a difficult situation. If you are thinking about running away, depending on how old you are and the state you reside in, there could be various possibilities. If your stepdad chooses to file a runaway report, you could be returned home. However, it is possible that if you are being abused, you could be removed from your current home. If you would like to file an abuse report, you could call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453. We do not give legal advice, but if you have questions regarding the outcome of you running away, you could also reach out to law enforcement in your area.

      To discuss more options and explore your situation in more detail, you could reach out to us at 1-800-786-2929. We also have a chat option at www.1800runaway.org. We are available 24/7, so don’t hesitate to reach out. We look forward to hearing from you.

      Best,

      NRS

  • #66
    My stepdad argues with me about everything he calls me names all the time tonight he just started a big fight over nothing again saying I’m a ******* over and over and that he doesn’t want me to ever meet his child tomorrow and that I can ******** off and that my real dad doesn’t give a ******** about me. Before he has thrown a pillow at me and I have thrown it back thinking it’s all for fun until he snapped and started a big fight and forced us all to write him notes saying why we love him. He always does this he has even told me to kill myself and has hit me over the head a few times then tells me he “taps” me and my mum doesn’t do anything ever then ********s on me just to make him happy I just feel like I want to die or runaway anything that will be better then this I don’t know what to do ((((((((((((((((
    Last edited by ccsmod1; 04-12-2019, 05:05 AM.

    Comment


    • ccsmod1
      ccsmod1 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hey there,

      Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. No one deserves to be treated the way you have been bt your stepdad. Everyone should be respected and feel safe at home. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis-related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

      We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

      Best of luck,
      NRS

  • #67
    My step dad treats me like ********. He calls me names like stupid and says I’m so pathetic and two faced. He always try’s to get my mum to bollock me for the slightest thing. He’s recently started manipulating the situation with me and my step sister, we have small arguments now and again, buts she’s 7 and I’m nearly 14 and she gets on my nerves. He’s started saying I can only invite friends round when she isn’t here and then saying if I’m not happy move out and go with your dad etc. My sister has now started turning on my due to the way he acts with me.

    Comment


    • ccsmod6
      ccsmod6 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. The way your step dad is treating you sounds just awful. No one deserves that kind of treatment, and it's good that you're reaching out for support. It must be frustrating to be facing this kind of treatment from your stepdad and hard to feel like it is affecting your relationships with your mom and stepsister, too.

      If you ever want to talk to someone about this situation in more detail, the National Runaway Safeline is always available--we're a 24/7, anonymous and confidential hotline, and we're here to help. You don't deserve to be called names like stupid or pathetic by anyone, including a family member, and you don't have to go through this alone. It makes sense that you're feeling unhappy and manipulated, but you're doing the right thing by asking what you can do to take care of yourself and improve your relationships in your family. It also makes sense that you're feeling unsure what to do about your relationship with your stepsister; it's normal to want to have a good, positive relationship with a stepsister, and also normal to sometimes find it hard to talk to a 7-year-old.

      You might consider thinking about the situations in which your stepdad mistreats you or calls you names. You can also think about whether there's ever an opportunity to tell him how he's making you feel, and what would happen if you did. Sometimes it can help you to tell the person how their behavior is making you feel, if you think they'll be open to hearing you out. You might also consider telling your mum how you've been feeling and asking her if she can help you out. Sometimes writing down how you feel in a journal or a letter can help with having tough conversations like this. You'd also be able to call the NRS anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you would like help planning out how you want to talk to your family.

      You mention that your stepdad has suggested that you move out. It might help you to think about specifically how it makes you feel when he says this. You might also want to ask yourself whether moving out is an option you want to consider, and what it would look like if you did. You don't have to decide anything right away.

      This sounds like a tough family situation to be dealing with, but it sounds like you're doing your best to move forward. You can always reach us on our 24/7 hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY or on chat at 1800runaway.org. Best of luck!
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