My stepdad hates me and I can't stay here any longer.

[Guest]

My step father hates me and I don't know what to do anymore. I've lived with him for 11 years now and I can't bear to be here anymore. I've tried to commit suicide many times before, without my mom's knowledge but with my step dad's. I'm pretty sure he has it out for me, because in the past years from 2-7 he has tried beating me and drowning me to get rid of me. Apparently if I'm not blood related to him, it means I don't have any worth, because I have 2 younger siblings that he loves to bits. Surely he wants me dead, and my mom feels like there's nothing she can do now.. I can't even believe he still bullies me, I'm 13 now, and takes so much care of my siblings. But at least I'm not the only one that's been damaged. My younger brother get beaten up from the littlest of things, and my little sister gets tormented by him. I think that he doesn't have a heart, or can't feel sympathy or empathy for others. Fortunately, my siblings and I protect each other a majority of the time, but when me and my siblings fight, he takes their side, even upon them making trouble, and threatens to beat me until I bleed out. I'd like to think that I'm the only one that this happens to, so no one else suffers this. But at least my mom's trying so we can move away from him, so then we can feel and be safe

[ccsmod6]

Hi,
Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS. We want to start by thanking for you sharing what has been going on because that sounds like a very scary and difficult situation. You and your siblings do not deserve to be treated like you have shared with the beating. We are going to talk about a few options and we are here 24/7 if you want to talk further about them so do not hesitate to call us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY or reach out on our online chat system. If they do not seem to fit with your situation or you aren’t comfortable with those options we can always talk over other options and help form a plan you are comfortable with. We also do want to offer the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255) as a resource as you mentioned you have tried to commit suicide previously. You do not have to be suicidal to reach out and they are 24/7 with an online chat system at their website (suicidepreventionlifeline.org) if you want to reach out to them as well.
The behavior you have described from your stepdad is not okay. We aren’t here to define abuse, but it sounds like you are going through a really difficult situation with the beating at home by your stepdad. If you feel comfortable, reporting what has been going to a child abuse hotline may be something you want to think about. This can consist of you yourself reaching out to a child abuse hotline and disclose what has been going or you can tell someone and they can report themselves. Anyone can file an abuse report, but some people are known as mandated reporters which means they would have to pass along what you have told them to Child Protective Services. These people can include teachers, police officers, school counselors, etc. We are also mandated reporters, but we can pass along the situation to CPS id we have identifying factors like your name, your address, your stepdads name, etc. So if you want us to file a report on your behalf we can do so if you give us a call, but if you want to talk confidentially, we can also do that as long as you don’t share any identifying factors. Child Help (1-800-422-4453) is also a really good resource to reach out to ask more questions about what reporting abuse looks like and what may happen after a report is made with CPS. Again, this is just one option and we can explore if you feel it works for you.
Another option you may want to think about talking to your mom about seeing if moving away is an option as you mentioned. If you feel comfortable talking to your mom on your own you can do so, but you don’t have to. You can always think about bringing other people to help like your siblings, a friend, or someone you trust. We can help you form a plan on what you feel you want to say to your mom.
We are always here to talk about what is going on at home. We do care about you and your safety is very important to us and we want to make sure you feel comfortable with whatever you want to do. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us over the phone or on our chat and we can further discuss the things we mentioned or brainstorm other ideas. We hope to hear from you soon!
Best, NRS

[Guest]

my stepdad dosent want me anywhere if i go to the living room he yells at me to go back to my room
he keeps getting mad at me for no reason my mom just stands there and watches and dosent do anything about it
my stepdad does not talorate me when he is in a bad mood i tried to run away once but i couldn't once i told him i was gonna run away he just told me to do it i wanna run away so badly but i dont have anywhere to go i understand my dad has anxiety but im sure he can handle it

[ccsmod7]

Hello there, thanks for reaching out today. Sounds like your stepdad is incredibly hard to live with, and that is frustrating that your mom does not do anything about it. You deserve to be treated with kindness and respect.

You mentioned that your stepdad has told you to run away before, and that you might have a place to stay with your dad's who is dealing with anxiety. That seems like a really tricky situation. Legally, you can stay anywhere that your guardian says is okay. So you might try to ask your mom if you can go stay with your dad's, especially since it sounds like stepdad was telling you to leave. Similarly, you might reach out to your dad and see if it would be possible to stay with him.

Here at NRS, we have a conference call service if you ever want to have a mediated conversation with your mom or legal guardian. It can be a safe place to let her know how your stepdad is making you feel, and how you need her to support you more. You so deserve to have your feelings heard. Please call 1-800-RUNAWAY if you are interested in the conference call service.

Here at NRS, we truly want to help and we might be able to brainstorm additional options for you if we got the full details of your situation. We are confidential and primarily concerned for your safety and wellbeing. We can provide support, try to brainstorm more options, and look for local resources that might be able to help.

We look forward to hearing from you and we wish you the best of luck,

NRS

[Guest]

My step He said I will never be part of the family. He coos over my younger sisters, my middle sister even bullies me. I can't take this anymore. What do I do?

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We are here 24/7 to listen and to support.

We're sorry to hear about what is going on at home. Do you have any other family members or anyone at school that you trust that you can talk to about this? We also have a conference call service here where a liner can help mediate a conversation between you and your parents so you can voice your feelings and create a constructive resolution. Let us know if you would be interested in that and don't hesitate to reach out to us if you want someone to support you and walk through options with you.

Good luck,

NRS

[Guest]

Same

my step dad favorites my younger siblings and always puts me down. He will call me useless, pig, disgusting, lazy peice of ********, and sack of ********. And has been doing this since I was 3. And I always feels I’m not good enough. If I ever accomplish anything he will say “ do you want a pat on the back”. But if my siblings get a bad grade of break something it’s always ohhh itsss okk. I’m an A B student and still there not good enough for my dad, but my siblings get Ds and Cs and they are praised! I can’t leave yet bc im 13. What do I do?

[ccsmod2]

Thank you for contacting National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear about the way that your step dad has been treating you.You don't deserve to be treated that way. Talking to someone that you trust about how your step dad makes you feel could help. You could also ask your mom if she would allow you to stay with another family member or close friend. Feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929) or email if you have any additional questions or just need to talk.

[Guest]

My step dad is always yelling at me and making me feel like crap. i've wanted to run away cause i still have years before i'm 18. he yells at me when i forget to do something and is always mad at me. i've even tried choking myself to get away. it first started when i told somebody on a game where i went to school because i trusted her. he said, exactly, "why do i even tried to take care of you". and i was too scared to tell my mom because i thought she wouldn't believe me. i always feel like it's my real dads fault for killing himself when i was only a year old. i've wanted to run away for a while now but i'm too scared.

[ccsmod5]

Hi, Thank you for reaching out to us and letting us know what's going on. We're sorry to hear about what sounds like a very difficult situation. You definitely don't deserve to be treated without respect. One option you do have is letting a school counselor know about your concerns. They're usually experienced and trained to take care of challenging situations like yours. They're also mandated child abuse and neglect reporters so if your stepdad has ever beat you or punished you physically, took away or threatened to take away resources like food, shelter and medical care, you should let your school counselors know too so they can contact the necessary social service agencies to intervene and provide services to your house. Additionally, there are some resources you can access yourself. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline's number is 1-800-273-8255. To Write Love on Her Arms, a non-profit that aims to provide help on individuals struggling with self-injury and suidical thoughts, is another great resource. Their website is twloha.com. It is a great first step for you to reach out to us. It can feel overwhelmed and alone going through what you're going through, but you're very brave for seeking help and sharing with us your situation today. We wish you the best of luck and will always be here to listen and help. Feel free to call us any time at our 24/7 toll free hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (7862929) with any additional questions or concerns. Thanks again!

[Guest]

yesterday i didn't make such a good job on my math test.i stayed after school for tutoring and when i got picked up by my stepdad,my teacher told my soon to be step dad what happened.I know that my (soon to be) stepdad and my mom expect the best for me.I got home and my regular bed time in 9:30 and the time was now 9:52 when I got done eating...I tried to plug up my lamp because I was a little afraid of the dark.because it was dark it took my a while to find the outlet.low and behold,there was my stepdad coming up the steps then yelled "what are you doing?" *first of all what does it look like i'm doing* i told him "trying to plug up my lamp because it is very dark and i'm a little scared of the dark" then he went on and told me that I need to be in bed by 9:30. like I said,that was already my regular bed time.he kept on finding petty reasons to be upset with me. at the end of his lecture (that i wasn't listening to) "he said do you understand?" and I said "yes" and I was trying to get to bed because I had a long day! he then yelled at me for not saying "yes sir" wow...I know my mom needs help with money and stuff,but honestly,what does she see in him? 3 years ago me,my mom and my brother went from Georgia to Charlotte because my moms job was being moved.when we moved,we moved in with my moms boyfriend (also my soon to be step dad.)this guy we don't know. the first few weeks weren't that bad...me and my brother were still getting use to having a new member.a few years later my mom was pregnant....by ***....I was very upset.all I wanted to do was go back to Georgia and see my dad and my sisters. that was when I started acting out to get attention because I wanted my mom to think I was so bad and send me back with my dad.the chances of seeing my real dad in a month are about 10%...I really miss them..my brother makes a's and b's and gets all the games he wants for his play-station.I don't make to good grades.the only person I don't like in that house is *****!!! I made a honor roll in 3rd grade and I got nothing from my mom or anyone! my dad would have totally gotten me something!**** is never abusive (physically) to me or my family members. the words he says about me and my grades are very hurtful when I am trying and he says i am not.I am trying to prove them wrong and show them I am smart.my mom is the nicest most caring person ever...she never asked me or my brother how we felt about ****...does she already know?...anyways,I am a total handful.I want my dad and my fam back in Georgia...my mom wont let me live with him...today i'm gonna try and call him and ask to stay with him...i'm tired of the same attitudes for 4 years and living in the same house with the same annoying people..this website really helps me talk to people who actually listen and understand me. help me

[ccsmod16]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out today! It sounds like living with your step dad is really difficult and overwhelming. We are here to listen and to help!

You mentioned not doing so great on a math test and then going to tutoring. That was a really good choice, it sounds like you are really doing all you can to do better and try your hardest. It must be really difficult that your mom and step dad cannot see the hard work you are putting in. How frustrating!!

It sounds like you really want to go live with your dad and sisters in Georgia. You mentioned planning to call him later today. We hope that goes well and he can help you come up with some options! We also offer conference calling here at NRS so if you would like to make a call out to your mom (or dad if he shares custody with your mom), we can definitely help with that! Call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929, we are open 24/7. We would be an advocate for you on the line and make sure your side of things gets heard. Sometimes having a neutral party can help ease tension in a difficult conversation.

It seems like you are trying to get help with your grades by going to tutoring. That is a great option! You may also consider talking to your school counselor. They may be able to help with your grades and talk about what is going on at home.

It seems like you have a lot on your plate right now too, so maybe speaking with a counselor or therapist in the community could help as well. We can look up some local support groups, therapists, and programs in your area if you call or live chat us through our website. You can also look at some local counselors and groups through SAMHSA (1-877-726-4727, samhsa.gov)

Reaching out to us today shows a lot of strength! You seem to be working really hard and looking into all your options by calling your dad and getting tutoring. We are here 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) so reach out via phone or live chat through our website anytime! Best of luck in talking to your dad today and please reach out if we can help in any other way!

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

Hi my step dads been making fun of me and bullying me pretty much ever since my little brother turned 5 (he’s now 7) and it’s got the that point where my mum is even sticking up for him now saying that it’s my fault and that it’s because of my attitude when I try telling her she says that she will talk to him but never does.

I dont know what to do

[ccsmod16]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out today! It sounds like living with your step dad is really difficult and overwhelming. We are here to listen and to help!

We are so sorry to hear your step dad is making fun of you! You do not deserve to be bullied, especially by a parent. It sounds like even your mom is no longer supportive. We are here to help and support you.

Perhaps talking to another adult in your life could be helpful: a neighbor, teacher, school counselor, aunt, uncle or grandparent? They may be able to help you talk to your mom and stick up for you with your step dad.

We also offer conference calling here at NRS so if you would like to make a call out to your mom, we can definitely help with that! Call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929, we are open 24/7. We would be an advocate for you on the line and make sure your side of things gets heard. Sometimes having a neutral party can help ease tension in a difficult conversation.

It seems like you have a lot on your plate right now too, so maybe speaking with a counselor or therapist in the community could help as well. We can look up some local support groups, therapists, and programs in your area if you call or live chat us through our website. You can also look at some local counselors and groups through SAMHSA (1-877-726-4727, samhsa.gov)

It shows a lot of strength to reach out today, you should be proud of yourself. We are here 24/7 to listen and provide support! Call us anytime at 1-800-786-2929.

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

[Guest]

Hi
my step dad tell all the time that im a wast of space and a wast of money that im lazy and that i dont do anythin, I'm 17 soon and im not in any education or work since im finding hard to find a job locally. When ever he calls me names my mother just sits there and doesn't say anything and most of the time agrees with him. And they ague all the time as well shouting, screaming, smashing things and sometimes he hits/pushes her, I've called the police in the past but i was pushed into lieing to them by my other siblings to keep the peace.

[ccsmod16]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out today. It sounds like home is a really stressful and violent place to be. We are glad you reached out for help. We want you to be safe!

You do not deserve to be told that you are a waste of space and money. That is not true. You certainly have value. It must be so hard and feel so isolating not to be in school or working or have any outlet away from this toxic home environment. It seems like pressure from your siblings has kept you quiet but you must be so scared and tired of going through all of this! You are not alone in this! We are always here!

It sounds like there may be verbal abuse and domestic violence in the home. Your safety is our priority! Child Help is an agency that can better define abuse and help you with next steps on how to make an abuse report (childhelp.org, 1-800-422-4453) We can also conference call with you and make an abuse report if you would like to as we know that can be a scary step to take. We are open 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929.

You may also find the Domestic Violence Hotline helpful for yourself or to pass on to your family and mom if she is receptive to getting some support too: 1-800-799-7233, thehotline.org.
It was brave of you to contact police and to reach out to us here. We are here to support you and to offer resources and talk about options.

Contact us again anytime! We can best help through call and live chat on our website when it is open! Best of luck and stay safe!

[Guest]

my dad left me before i was born and when i was two my mom married someone else. i call him dad but he isn’t my biological dad. a couple years later my brother was born and since he is actually related to my new dad, he gets away with everything. i feel like i’m a burden and my own mother doesn’t like me because i remind her of my biological father. my new dads family doesn’t like me either. always getting me in trouble saying i did this and that when it isn’t true. my brother is taking advantage of it also and does stuff to himself and says i did it. i’d get grounded and in trouble. every night id cry myself to sleep after a daily blame. i’m never allowed to go anywhere, do anything, or speak my opinion without getting yelled at and in trouble. i know right from wrong so i know my actions are not always wrong. im tired of living like i’m a mistake

[ccsmod0]

Hello,
Thank you for taking the time to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like ever since your parent had a baby they have not been treating you the same. It can be really difficult to live in a house where you feel like you are a burden. We want you to know that we care about you and do not want you to feel this way. Perhaps you could try talking to your parents about the way that they are treating you. Alternatively, you can consider using our conference calling service, this is a service where you would call us and we would hold a conference call between you and your parents to talk about how both sides are feeling. We would serve as mediators, we are not here to necessarily choose sides but rather help come up with a solution that would make the situation at home better. This might be helpful to you if you have concerns about your parents not listening or not being open to hear what you have to say. If you feel like this is a service that you would find useful you can give us a call and one of our trained liner will be happy to assist you. We want you to be happy and feel like you are welcome in your own home. If there is anything that you think that we can do to help you in your time of need please let us know. 1-800-786-2929
Best wishes,
NRS

[Guest]

Im sorry
I'm 15 and I've had a step-dad since I was 3. As I got older, the more he seemed to hate me. Then there is my middle half-brother, he's the best thing in the world to him even though he fights him. Me and my youngest brother are just a burden to him. He just hates us. He never talks to us unless its so yell or fuss at something we did or to call us names. I've honestly gotten sick and tired of it.

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out. It sounds like you’re going through a really difficult situation with your step-dad. It seems you and your siblings aren’t treated in the best way by him. There’s no need to apologize for these feelings. We understand how hard this all can be. We invite you to talk to us more about these problems if you want. You can call us at 1-800-786-2929, 24/7, for support and referrals to social agencies that could provide you services.

Thanks again for writing into us. Hopefully this message helped. We wish you the best of luck and invite you to call us for more help.

Best,
NRS

[Guest]

I don't know what to do, I given up,
My stepdad thinks that I'm lazy, and worthless.
I have so many issues with asthma, like chest pains.
Every time I wake up in the morning, feeling a burning sensation in my chest makes me fear that he will say that I'm lazy. He tells me that all the chest pains and asthma I have is fake, that it's tantrums to get away from school and not do anything, I make up every assignment by staying afterschool. Coming home late, and I guess I'm not good enough for him, I guess I'm not good enough to fit in with his views about how a "real" family is suppose to be. I work really hard to get where I am with my grades, but he has never even once seen my grades, and get an award, but I guess I'm not good enough. He believes if I keep not going to school, that I should work. Earlier, when my asthma had gotten worse, I told my mom and him if I could be homeschooled, the believed that being homeschool was just an act of being lazy and a false education.. It's crazy how my mom knows what's going on, but goes along with his points of view. I've gone to the doctors so many times, my mom is always there to see if I'm lying, but I'm not. I'm just done to a point that I'm traumatize with his views and actions, I can no longer have the ability to function, everything I do or will do makes me so indecisive. I'm 17, about to turn 18, and I don't know what is next, I just don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel useless and have no power, i want to do so much things for my own self, I want to move far away but dont have have the capability, or the strength..

[ccsmod7]

Hello, we are sorry to hear that you are in this difficult situation with your parents.

It sounds like the way they treat you is making it very difficult to function or make decisions as you would like to, and you definitely don't deserve to be treated like that. It also sounds like they may not always believe you when you say you are having pain, or asthma attacks. We are not sure whether you are getting treatment for your health conditions, but if not we hope you will reach out to find the care you need both for your health and for your other concerns.

We would be glad to talk with you in further detail about your situation and see if we can work together to find some options for resources that would help you deal with your stepfather and your mother so that things might improve. For example, we could search our database for a health care provider or a mental health resource. We could also conduct a conference with you and your parents to help you talk to them about the situation.

Please call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you would like.

We are here 24/7 and your call would be completely confidential.

We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think.

[Guest]

My step dad is a bully to me anyway. Every Time I try to do something nice he always moans at me and doesn't tell me what I have done wrong. He’s always giving my 3 brothers nice things and there's me in the corner crying. He always threatens me and whacks me. I fed up. I feel like I don’t belong and need to die. My mum never helps me she always goes on his side because she doesn't love me. I would go to my nans house but she lives hours away and I can’t afford a taxi and no bus station are by were I live. I can’t deal with my life it hurts I cry every night. I start to gag because my body can deal with it. I want to commit suicide. Or I have thoughts about them. I can’t do anything right. None of my friends understand me. So there no use. I just don't know what to do? Just please help?

[ccsmod4]

Reply: My step dad is a bully to me anyway

Hello,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS).

We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you speaking about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

You don’t deserve to bullied or mistreated in any way by anyone. Although the situation may have you feeling like it, you are not alone.
NRS is here to listen and here to help. Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this difficult time.
If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
You did such a great job expressing your feelings. Good for you.
We hope you will continue to reach out for support to help cope with your situation.

Be safe and stay strong,
NRS

[Guest]

i cannot stand my step dad anymore. i am literally cinderella, where i am forced to slave away with chores. i can clean the house perfectly & he will still find something wrong & nit pick. ive recently started getting anxiety because of it but when i told my mom she told me i was being dramatic. i can never win with him & god forbid i do one thing wrong, i get cursed at & screamed at to the point where i am bawling my eyes out in my room. he says he feels disrespected yet he doesn’t know how disrespected i feel. i literally do EVERYTHING he asks me to & what i get in return is negative reinforcement. i can’t even remember the last time he appreciated something i did for him. it’s so frustrating because he doesn’t understand how much i do for this family & he doesn’t even realize that once i leave for college, everything is gonna go to s**t. my parents blame me for their fights because they’re always arguing apparently over me & something i did. i hate this feeling of fear that i have towards my step dad & it’s so bad to the point where i can’t even ask him a simple question without getting scared of the response. i’m just so upset & fed up with how i’m being treated because i do so much & he is just so unappreciative, leading me to feel miserable at home always & always having a feeling of fear when i hear him come home everyday because i get yelled at everyday for the most little things possible. i hate it so much here & don’t know what to do anymore with him because i will never be able to win...

[ccsmod11]

Hi there,

Thanks so much for reaching out. It definitely sounds like you're in a really difficult situation with your father, and we're sorry to hear that he yells and screams at you and treats you in a way where you feel he doesn't appreciate you. It sounds very upsetting to be in a situation where you don't feel like your accomplishments are being rewarded, and where your father is intensely fixated on your actions, particularly cleaning. Please let us know if you want help with developing a safety plan for running away, or if you have any questions for us about the process of running away, or alternatives to running away like emancipation (1-800-786-2929).

Best,
NRS