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My stepdad hates me and I can't stay here any longer.

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  • My stepdad hates me and I can't stay here any longer.

    I've always loved my stepdad and have tried to make him happy, but even when I simply hug or kiss him on the cheek, he pushes me away and tells me to leave him alone. I try so hard to make him like me but he can't even tolerate me. He's always telling me to leave, saying "I don't care what you do, you're not my problem" and "If you want to leave, just leave. Less trouble and money for me." He's kicked me out multiple times and my mom just stands there and doesn't do anything, his word is always final. Yet he loves my little brother to death, is always telling him how much he loves him and how he doesn't want his son to end up like me. Last night he called me a piece of ******** and told me "******** you" because he thought I was talking about him to one of my friends. He doesn't let me leave the house and doesn't trust me at all. I'm sick of being treated like this and I'm so ready to get out of here. I have somewhere I can go, to a good friend's house in nearby city, but I don't want her mom to get arrested for taking me in and I don't know what to do about school. I'm turning 17 in 5 months.

  • #2
    re: My stepdad hates me and I can't stay here any longer.

    Hi

    Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are sorry to hear about the way you have been treated. It sounds horrible to receive rejection from someone that you love and care about. It sounds like the mistreatment at home is pushing you away and causing you to want to leave. We are disheartened to hear that your mother stands by without doing anything. It seems that you do not receive the support that you probably should at home. You mentioned that a good friend is willing to provide you with a safe place. It sounds like you have concerns about your friend's mother getting into trouble for taking you in as well as you attending school. Generally speaking, it isn't illegal to runaway in most states however your parent will still have the right to file you as a runaway. If you are filed as a runaway, there is a possibility that your parent can try to press charges against any individual(s) who harbor or abide a runaway. Since laws vary by state, it may be helpful to contact your local police nonemergency department to see if they can provide additional information. Also in some states, minors can legally move out at the age of 17. You also verify this by contacting your local police dept because this rule varies by states and sometimes by counties within states.

    We hope the information provided helps. Remember we are available 24/7 and can be toll-free reached by dialing 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We are confidential, anonymous, and non-direct. We can also be reached via live chat between 4:30pm and 11:30pm CST.

    Best Wishes
    ~NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Sad

      My stepdad hates me he calls me names like stupid, wuss, worthless and tells me I will amount to nothing my real dad told me he never wanted me because I am a girl and he wanted a boy my stepdad just got through telling me I am worthless and a wuss again and my real dad doesn't call me much and didn't celebrate my birthday this year I am severely depressed and I don't know what to do I also am kind of socially awkward because I have bad trust issues as in I trust no one but God I was injured before and no one wanted to come and get me I feel worthless an I am wondering if I should commit suicide or run away I have several years before I can move out and I am at a lost please please give me advice because I feel just as worthless and stupid as my stepdad says I am i just got through crying but not in front of my dad because he says crying is weakness what do I do

      Comment


      • #4
        re: Sad

        Hello,

        Thank you for reaching out. It takes courage and self-respect to tell your story the way you did and to ask for help. We are here to listen and provide support to the best of our ability. We care about your safety and we hope you realize how awesome it is that you are asking for this help.

        Asking for help isn't necessarily about being weak, it can mean you're smart and brave and not afraid to ask for help. Getting better for many people can mean being around, in person, people who care about your happiness. Your father figures unfortunately don't seem to be considering your happiness. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.

        As far as what you can do in the mean time, here are a few possible options that might be helpful in dealing with your situation.

        • Talking in person to an adult you know cares about you such as a teacher, friend's parent, etc. Many people find it helpful to reach out to an adult they trust and who can advocate for them if necessary.
        • Counseling. We recognize counseling isn't for everyone; however, if this is the route you'd like to go, we can try our hardest to locate a counseling resource in your area.
        • Other support hotlines. We're here to listen, but there are also people who are especially skilled in talking to young people like you who are thinking about suicide. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline's phone number is 1-800-273-TALK and their website is:
        http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
        • A runaway or homeless youth shelter. This is not an option for all youth and it may require the shelter getting consent from your parents/guardians, but in cases of abuse some shelters are able to reach out to Child Protective Services (CPS) first. If you are interested in knowing if there are any local shelters, we can search if we have a city/state.

        These are just some of the resources and options that are possibly open to you. Please call us at the Safeline and we can brainstorm more options for you. We'd like to thank you again for reaching out to us here at the Safeline and hope things get better!

        Sincerely,

        The National Runaway Safeline
        Last edited by ccsmod3; 06-20-2015, 12:41 AM.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I am so sorry

          I understand exactly what you are going through with your step dad. Mine treats me the exact same way. I don't know how long ago you posted this but I'd like to know what you did after this, maybe it will help me out a little bit..

          Comment


          • #6
            RE: I am so sorry

            Thanks for reaching out on our forum. We are sorry to hear about your step dad treating you badly. Remember, if you need help or support, you can always reach out to us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              life

              I have the same problem but my dad is telling me stuff like your not my daughter, and apparently my sister is the best thing since the Yankees, and he's made me want to commit suicide, trying to find help. Your not the only one trust me I'm only 12 almost thirteen and its been happening since I was six years old, hang in their.

              Comment


              • #8
                RE: life

                Hello,

                Thanks for reaching out and sharing your story on our forum. It sounds like you have been through so much, and we are sorry to hear that you have to hear your dad say such hurtful things. You mentioned you have considered suicide. It takes a lot of strength to reach out for help. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, the National Suicide Hotline could be a good resource for you. You can call 1-800-273-8255 for help and support or go to www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org. You can also call us any time to talk about what is going on. Our primary concern here at NRS is your safety. It is normal to have these feelings, and we can help you find resources to help you deal with your suicidal feelings if you want. We are here to support you however we can. We are looking forward to your call and we wish you the best of luck.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  My step dad hates me, I'm 15 years old and I'm sick and tired of being treated like I'm nothing, its been like this ever since I was 12, he constantly says he hates me, tries to get my mom to punish me for the littlest things, I have sat by there door and I listened to him trash me to my mom, saying how I must do drugs because of how I act, basically saying that I'm not normal and I'm just getting to the point where I'm honestly thinking about running away, and I constantly have thoughts about killing him, he used to hit me till I hit back and he constantly starts a fight and bringing up that my real dad had left me and that I'm going to be just like him, I'm just really sick and tired of all of this, what can I do to get rid of this thing (step dad)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re:

                    Hello,

                    Thank you for contacting us through our online forum. That sounds incredibly frustrating and it’s understandable that you would be angry with your step dad. He seems to really push you to your limits by talking badly about your real dad and it can’t be nice to hear him talking badly about you to your mom. No one deserves to have someone else put their hands on them and you don’t deserve to be hit by him.

                    The thoughts you have about killing him, how do you feel about having them? Do you feel like it’s something you would act upon? Have you talked to anyone about how much his actions are affecting you? Is there anyone you trust who you can confide in, a friend, a relative, or someone at school?

                    As far as running away, do you have anyone you might be able to stay with if you were to leave? How did you think your mom would react? Would she make a police report? There’s definitely a lot to consider what leaving home. If you decide to contact us directly, we would be happy to discuss with you your options in more detail; how leaving home might look like for you and options for how you might be able to improve your situation at home.

                    We do hope you reach out to us.

                    Best,
                    NRS
                    Last edited by ccsmod7; 11-26-2015, 12:55 AM.
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      What do I bring

                      Not only am I confused of where to go but what will I need I can't let my little sister down pls help

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        RE: What do I bring?

                        Hi,

                        Thanks for reaching out to us at NRS. I'm sorry to hear you are having such a tough time. I imagine it must be really difficult to feel like you don't have anywhere to go. It can definitely be tough to figure out what to take with you if you are planning to leave home. It definitely depends on where you are headed. We would be happy to talk to you about your options and help you figure out a safe place. It's always a good idea to remember that your saftey is a top priority. So if you are going to leave, you'll definitely want things that will help you stay safe--like your cell phone and a charger.

                        You sound like you care a lot about your sister. That's great, and very mature of you. Have you thought about trying to find a way to keep both of you safe? Is there a way that your living situation at home could be better? If you'd like, we could do a conference call with you and your mom or you and your stepdad. We could also talk about any ideas you have about what would make you feel safe. If you want to call us at 1800Runaway, we can talk through any issues that you are dealing with.

                        Take care,
                        NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Please Help My Sister and I

                          Somebody, please help me, I am only 12 years old and I have a sister who is 9 and I think she is crumbling underneath the pressure of our step dad. All she ever is rude, and I think she got that from me and our stepdad. I mean, back in October he made the 2 of us go outside in our pajamas AND barefooted, at 9 am, it's 40 degrees outside, and the dew had just stopped, and he made us clean up trash in the backyard. My mom just stood there with a stone cold face that showed no expression at all as I stared at her in disbelief. Not only that, I feel like a maid. You know the story Cinderella, well I'm Cinderella but I won't be gettin' no fairy godmother and prince. I'm hoping, for the 2 of us, we can go live with our dad and stepmom. (Who is AWESOME) If i can't do that, then I'll either commit suicide or run away. I can't do a single thing without getting yelled at. Half the time, it's my mom who yells at me. My mom will either be on her phone watching Netflix, on Facebook, on Instagram, on Snapchat, or playing some stupid game. I think she likes her phone more than she likes HER OWN KIDS. Whenever company is around, they act like freakin' angels, but when we're home alone with them, it's like a living hell. So can somebody please help us so we are no longer neglected????????????

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            RE: Please help my sister and I

                            Hello there,
                            Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We are here to help you and provide you support during this time.
                            It sounds like you are going through a really painful and stressful time right now at home. You and your sister do not deserve to be treated like this or neglected. . You do not deserve to be mistreated or feel unsafe. We are sorry that you are going through this. One option that you may consider is filing an abuse. One really great resource that is available to you is Child Help USA (1-800-422-4453). Child Help USA will provide you more information about abuse reporting, the process, and connect you to the Child Protective Services (CPS) in your area.

                            If you are not comfortable with doing that you can also contact us here at NRS. We want to help you and make sure that you are safe during this time. By giving us a call here we can call CPS and provide support for you while you make the report or you can provide us with the information and we can make the report for you.
                            It sounds like you and your dad and step –mom have a really great relationship. Have you considered talking with them about what is going on at home with you mom and step –dad? This might be something you consider doing since you mentioned wanting to live with him. Also talking to your dad and step mom may be beneficial because they may be able to help you and be there for you during this time.

                            You mentioned that you have been dealing with some suicidal thoughts. We are glad that you contacted us. We are here for you and want to help. One resources that you may consider using is the National Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-TALK). We know that it may sound scary but they are available 24/7 and handle a lot of different things and have trained professionals and counselors to help you. If you are not comfortable reaching out via phone, they also have a 24/7 Chat service.

                            You also mentioned that you wanted to run away, we just want to let you know that we are not legal experts here but we can provide you with some general information. If you do decide to run away since you are a minor your parents do have a right to file a runaway report. If you are for any reason picked up by the police there may be a chance that you can be brought back home, unless for any reason the police feel that they are returning you to an unsafe environment.

                            Some questions that you may want to consider when running away are:
                            · What about school? What am I going to do to continue?
                            · Do I have a place to stay?
                            · Am I going to be gone awhile or coming back in a few days?
                            · What is my plan B in case my first plan doesn’t work?

                            We are so glad that you reached out to us. You are so strong for contacting us and seeking help for you and your sister. We want to help you here and make sure that you are safe. We want to talk with you further about your situation and help you in the best way possible. We are here 24/7 and someone is always available to talk. We can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We look forward to hearing from you.

                            Best,
                            NRS
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              sitter

                              My stepdad is so hard on me it makes me miserable and depressed that my therapist says im lacking motivation.Im scared to tell people how I feel.He does it because to him its hardlove.I have thoughts of running away but I have no idea where to go except go into the woods.He calls me fat and ***** and also wimp etc. Is this hardlove or hate?
                              Last edited by ccsmod0; 03-19-2016, 11:13 PM.

                              Comment

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