No announcement yet.

Love My Family, But I Need To Leave

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Love My Family, But I Need To Leave


    So, I love my family to death. We've had a lot of problems with DCF the past two years because my father is a pitiful, controlling drug addict who has threatened my mother too much to count. My mother takes him back regardless of how many times she said she wouldn't, because 'she feels bad for him', but I personally think it's because she's already too used to that treatment (sad to say that my two sisters,and regrettably I, used to be as controlling as my father-I made sure to stop). I am the middle child of five, have an older brother and sister, and a younger sister and brother (22, 16, 13 and 10). My younger brother has athetoid/dykintec cerebral palsy, (love him to death) and despite all the hardships that come with taking care of him, he's the reason my family hasn't ripped apart at the seams. My oldest brother has a different father, has tried the best he could to protect my mother and sisters, but is currently in the Navy, so he can't help as much anymore. My older sister and I are basically like a roller coaster, we have our ups and downs, but at the end of the ride you decide you will never go on that roller coaster again. To sum it up she is my complete opposite (disrespectful at times, chooses friends over family,would rather be on Instagram #'ing for days than pick up a good book). My younger sister used to be a sweetheart, but in the past couple months has been attacking (verbally) anyone who bothered her, justifying herself by saying "I'm just telling you the truth". My family has recently been having some financial problems, and I'm worried that soon enough, they won't have a home.

    I'm fourteen (female), and I am totally fed up.

    Reason being, that ever since my parents have had their first serious fight, I've been forced to grow up, protecting my mother, sisters and brother from the tool that my father is. I've thought of running away many times, ever since the 7th grade (I'm in 9th now), even contemplated suicide (which I know I would never allow myself to do that). I probably sound completely stuck-up and immature right now, but I just need someone to hear me out.

    I don't really have anyone to go to right now, because I now attend virtual school (because of bullies- they didn't bully me, but I had a feeling I was gonna snap and punch them if they said anything about the special-needs kids). I've had 'friends', but I always feel like a fake, pretending that I'm actually interested in smoking pot (tried it once-hated it) going to parties (also tried it once-also hated it) and having sex (virgin). So staying at a friends is out of the question.

    My sisters constantly put me down, my mother expects too much from me, and I'm the peacemaker for my parents, and my sisters (ironically). I'm the one who is supposed to be the doctor, the scholar, the one who keeps the fights from happening- or causing them. So many labels, yet I couldn't choose any of them. I can't choose my future, I can't do what I feel happy doing-I want to be someone else, someone who CAN do something for themselves. So, for the past two months I've been researching runaways, looking at statistics and most common problems that runaways face. Today was my breaking point. I have decided that I most likely will be running away sooner or later, even if I get caught, even if it's the most selfish thing anyone has ever done, because I'll have at least one moment of freedom.

    If you've actually read this mess, and decided I am not a selfish brat (unlikely, but, you know) please reply.

    Lots of thanks,


  • #2
    Re: Love My Family, But I Need To Leave

    It sounds like you have an awful lot going on right now and we are glad you reached out and shared a little bit of your situation. It seems like home life is really hard for you and you have a lot of people dealing with their own issues and putting a lot of issues on you as well. It’s understandable that you feel fed up and it’s gotten to the point that you are thinking of leaving to at least get a little bit of freedom.

    Do you think anyone in your family knows how you are really feeling or have you spoken with anyone else about this? It seems like part of the issue is that you may not have a lot of support and even your “friends” are really not people that you connect with. We are also sorry to hear that your dad is not supportive of your family and is often abusive at times. It sounds like DCFS has been involved but it is a constant struggle for your family to deal with. How have you coped with everything in the past?

    We want you to know that there is always someone here to help and to listen. We are not here to tell you what to do. In the end we can’t make that decision for you but there is always someone here to be a listening ear. At 14 you are still a minor so if you did leave home your parents would be able to file a runaway report and usually if the police find you they will just bring you back home. It sounds like another concern is where you would go if you did leave. We would love to talk with you about some safe options and resources that may be available. If you felt comfortable, you could give us a call at our 24 hour hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have a live chat that is open from 4:30p to 11:30p CST. All of our services are completely confidential and anonymous and there is always someone available to provide support, discuss safe options, and find helpful resources in your area if needed. Please feel free to reach out anytime. Take care and be safe.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      My Family is nice, But they can be rude.

      I'm at a young age, I'm 10, I can never step out the door when i think about it
      And i love my 1y-Brother alot! I can never leave him.

      Some people want me to run away because they hate me. I feel like my mom is too rude i know its not a good excuse.
      My Uncle is also very Nice, I Love him alot, My aunt, Is too, But My Nana is nice
      It seems like a good thing, but she yells at me for not doing something perfect, but she gets over it most of the time/

      Please dont judge me for my age. And help me.


      • ccsmod3
        ccsmod3 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi there, thank you for reaching out. We would never judge you for your age or for anything else. It sounds like you are having some family issues mostly with mom being rude. You have named a couple other relatives who are nice and that you love. It could be helpful to talk with them about how you are feeling and see if they can help in any way, even with talking to mom about how you are feeling with how you are being treated. We are also here to help as best as we can, so if you would like to talk more about what’s happening and more specifically what help you are looking for, we are here 24/7. Out hotline is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) and our website is We hope to hear from you soon.
        Be safe,
    Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
    Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
    or Allowed Filetypes: jpg, jpeg, png, gif, webp