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Mom wants me to leave .. hard times with family .. don't know what to do.

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  • Mom wants me to leave .. hard times with family .. don't know what to do.

    Hi. My name is Sierra and I will be turning 15 in March of 2014. I am having a rough time at home. I fight with my mom everyday and she is always telling me to run away or to get out of her house. I saw a thread on here and it actually inspired me that there was a way to deal with this. I sat down and literally wrote out at least 15 pages of everything that's happened, where I stand, and how I plan on dealing with it. Though, I have no computer access and am currently using a friend's CPU to type up what I can and I am limited on time to do so. I figured that the details should be saved for another time and that I should just say the basics.

    My mom tells me to leave all the time and says life would be easier if I just ran away but every time I attempt to leave, she threatens to call the cops on me and that's really not the best thing as DCF was involved over the summer after a huge fight with my mom that got physical and our case was just closed. My brother said, quote, "You're like knife in my back and I just want to take that knife out and stab you in your forehead." My mom was in the room and she just said to tone it down. I hate all of the hate.

    I have a friend who has always been there and he knows absolutely everything as I would run to him after it happened to talk about everything. He moved over the summer to Tavares and is currently an hour away so I figured I would be a safe distance from home but not unreasonably far like, say, another county or state.

    His parents are both lawyers and offered their home to me. They said that if she tells me to leave, I have every right to go and I should immediately after she says to.

    We've come up with the plan of leaving over the summer since leaving during this school year or during 10th grade of 2014-2015 would only get me in more trouble and if we can manage to work out enough of the situation over the vacation break to the point of legally being able to switch me to Tavares High instead of the current high school I'm attending in Clermont.

    They say the closer to my 16th birthday the better. If we can hold it off until when I turn 16, then we can work everything out and try to get me emancipated which is the overall goal in this mess. If and when the emancipation happens, they have offered their home as my own and treat me as if I were theirs which works out since I am extremely close to him and his siblings. His younger sister constantly asks if I want her to adopt me. Lol. She's 9.

    I really need help with this and the legal side of everything. This really scares me but I honesty cannot take one more second in this house with people who hate me with every ounce of themselves.

    Thank you.

  • #2
    Reply: Mom wants me to leave...hard times with family...don't know what to do.

    Hi Sierra –

    You certainly have a lot going on and we appreciate you opening up and telling us a bit about your situation. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now at home and it’s understandable that you are thinking of leaving. You mentioned that your mom is emotionally and at times physically abusive towards you and you feel like there is a lot of hate in the home. We are sorry to hear you are going through this and that she has in the past kicked you out of the home. It’s good to hear you have a safe place to go if you do leave and lots of support from your friend and his family.

    It sounds like the big concerns you have are more legal based and what will happen if you leave. If your mom kicks you out that is neglect on her part and really an issue that could be brought up with CPS. If your mom does kick you out how do you think she will react if you end up going to stay with your friend and his family? The good thing is it sounds like you have some good allies in regards to your friend’s parents being lawyers. They may be able to help a lot in regards to looking more into emancipation or getting people to help advocate for your situation and rights.

    We want you to know if you ever need to talk through your situation more in depth or looking for any further resources or support you can always reach out to the National Runaway Safeline. Our crisis phone line is open 24 hours a day and you can reach us at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We also have an online chat that is available from 4:30p to 11:30p CST daily. If you do have any more specific questions or need additional resources reach out to us anytime. All of our services are completely confidential and anonymous. Take care.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Mom wants me to leave .. hard times with family .. don't know what to do.

      my mom will love me to go to wallmart.

      Comment


      • #4
        RE: Re: Mom wants me to leave .. hard times with family .. don't know what to do.

        Hello there -

        Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline, we are more than happy to help you in your current situation. We aren't too sure if this reply has to do with the post above or not. It sounds like you might some specific questions that you want to ask us. It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on in your life. It’s very brave of you.

        If you give us a call on our 24/7 fully confidential hotline, at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help answer some of those questions you have and could potentially help you brainstorm a solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org) if you don’t feel like calling in to talk on the phone.

        Hope to hear from you soon!
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Hi my name is Nevaeh and I’m 10 years old and my mom is 31 I think she wants me gone cause of Wht she and my sis were doing today

          Comment


          • ccsmod1
            ccsmod1 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi Nevaeh! Thanks for contacting us today. It sounds like your situation at home is confusing you, and we understand that it can be scary to feel like your mom or sister do not want you to live at home anymore. We would love to hear what has made you feel this way, and encourage you to call us at 1-800-786-2929. We are here for youth 24/7 to listen and help in any way we can. Best of luck!
            Sincerely, NRS

        • #6
          Hey everyone I know some of you in school might be reading this but i don't care ... So my mom is being literally mean to mean if i don't do one homework she will leave me outside for 10 min she will hit me like 20 times and not care about anything and she will literally choking me for 5 seconds and she will tell me to move with a black family she said that i'm not her son no more that i go to hell and stuff like that so please help me idk how put please help me i want to keep being like this my relationship with my mom is horrible and my mom might get divorced soon so i'm going to try to behave better and do more of my homework.

          Comment


          • ccsmod9
            ccsmod9 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now and you mentioned being harmed. We’re sorry you’re going through this. You don't deserve to be hurt in any way. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone you trust as far as transferring custody.
            Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
            If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
            We hope to hear from you soon.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • #7
          Hi . I am a twelve year old boy . I got a demerit from school . I don’t mean it and I am really ashamed . My mom scolded me really badly and she wants me to leave . I don’t know what to do

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,
            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on with your mom and school. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
            While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
            The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
            We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
            Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
            If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
            Be safe,
            NRS

        • #8
          hye there.. today.. is the day.. my mom hate me.like literally hate me so much.. she said to me “you better go away or go somewhere and go ********ing out of this house” and i feel like im dying.. im feeling like the world is better without me..
          time by time she mad and scolded at me, she said to me “you better go die” and my anxiety literally start crawling on my skin.. and for you guys information i have anxiety and im never told that to my parents.. i don’t know what to do anymore... i just feel like i don't want to live like this and i don’t want to die..
          im ********in isolated and with sadness and suicidal thoughts

          Comment


          • ccsmod0
            ccsmod0 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things at home right now. It sounds like you’re fearing that the situation may end in suicide if things don’t change. Your safety and well-being is important. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255); www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org is also a great resource to reach out to in addition to our crisis services.

            Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This may be an isolating and lonely time for you, but you are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.

            If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

            We hope to hear from you soon.

            Be safe and stay strong,

            NRS

        • #9
          Hello.
          I’m 20 years old. I have been having issues with my family lately, they’ve been forcing their decisions on me concerning my education. Although they want the best for me but I don’t want to go into something I would later regret. I’ve tried talking to them about it but they seem so adamant. My mum got mad at me today over doing nothing to her, she said she doesn’t wanna see me around her anymore. She said she was ready to beat the hell out of me and go to jail for it but God saved me cos I was not in my room. My boyfriend who knows about this booked me a flight ticket to go stay with his mum cos he’s scared she might hurt me. I am also scared too cos I know what she did to my eldest sister and she has beaten me to the extent I passed out. Should I leave?

          Comment


          • ccsmod16
            ccsmod16 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi,
            Thanks for reaching out; we are glad that you did. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of scary and stressful situations, and that it's been going on for a long time.
            We can't tell you want to do, but it sounds like your boyfriend wants you to be safe and you deserve to be safe. You don't deserve to be beaten - especially to the extent that you pass out. That is very serious and no one has the right to do that to you.
            At 20, in most states, you are an adult and if that's the case, there is nothing she can do to make you come back. You can google the term "age of majority" and the state name you are in. If you are an adult, leaving might be a good option to be safe from her.
            If you want to discuss this further, please call us at our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929) or chat us through this website.
            You do have the right to be safe from physical abuse and you do have the right to your own life. We hope to here from you soon.
            Sincerely,
            NRS

        • #10
          I hate myself, I hate my family, I hate everyone… No one knows what I’m going through and that kills me everyday. Everyone thinks that I don’t have emotions but I do. My parents be like, your brother is a boy he can do whatever he want and you’re a girl you should always be home or in the kitchen. They let my siblings do what ever they want and I can’t why cause I’m a burden to them. Every second I have to do something to them like I’m the maid and then they hangout with friends and have fun but I can’t. I tried telling them that I need therapy but they laughed at me. I’ve tried suicide before not the best choice but I couldn’t get myself to it. All my friends and I mean all my friends planned on betraying me and that hurts and my family thinks that everyone loves me and all but in reality no.

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It is really brave of you to reach out for help. You deserve to be respected and treated fairly by your friends and family. It seems like a really tough situation you are in, and it seems like you are trying your best to access support.

            Depending on your age, a good place to go to try to get help would be a teacher or school counselor. Your school may have resources for you in your area like a local counseling center, or even some services at school.

            If you are thinking about suicide, please reach out to the Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255. They are available 24/7.

            To be able to help you further, please reach out to us through phone or chat so we can get some more details about your situation and be able to connect you to the help you need. Our number is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929), or go to www.1800runaway.org and click on the chat button.

            You took a great first step in getting help, and hopefully we can get you set up with the support you deserve.


            Stay safe,

            NRS

        • #11
          hello, I am only 15 and last night my mom and I had a fight. She had taken my phone away because I fell asleep on face time. This wasn't the only time she took away my phone for that reason, she found out about my girlfriend too and saw pictures and texts between us which were private. Last night she told me to throw away the hoodie my partner gave me or I had to leave the house, she locked me out. After a while she found the other phone my friend gave me she took pliers and broke it. Im planning on staying with my gf or a friend for couple months or until Im 18, the only thing is my gfs mom is worried about legal things and I dont want foster care or to go to a shelter.

          Comment


          • ccsmod15
            ccsmod15 commented
            Editing a comment
            Hi there,

            Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like the situation at home has been stressful, we are glad you reached out. We are sorry you are going through a hard time.

            We understand that the laws regarding runaway youth can be complicated. While we are not legal experts, we can share our general understanding of the issue. It is not illegal for youth to runaway— it is something called a status offense, or something you cannot do because of your age. If you a youth leaves home without their parent’s permission, their parents may report them to the police as a runaway. However, you would know best whether your mom would be likely to file a runaway report. Adults (like your girlfriend’s mom) who shelter runaway youth risk being charged with harboring a runaway. Harboring laws can vary by jurisdiction, so it may be an option to contact your local police to learn more about local laws and how they respond to runaway cases.

            We know that it can be difficult to have conversations with families when tensions are running high— sometimes, it helps to have a neutral third party involved to de-escalate conflict and allow you to express your needs to your mom. Some options could include trusted family or even a school guidance counselor. NRS also offers a conference call service in which we can be a neutral third party on a phone call with you and your mom. We are happy to provide referrals to additional resources if you contact us directly by phone or live chat. We are available 24/7 by chat and our phone hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY.

            Stay safe,

            NRS
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