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Runaway? 16 years old.

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  • Runaway? 16 years old.

    Hi, I'm 16 and my family... Well it's not so great.
    My dad is a gambelholic while my mom is just something else.
    You see my life is complicated, and must I say I have an Asian lifestyle.
    Considering that, most would think that we must be very smart and MUST get good grades and become a doctor.
    But in my future I want to help people like maybe become a pediatric nurse or do something with business and help organizations on great causes.
    But for me to do so, my life can be hard to live by.
    I think about it every day since 6th grade, and every single year of my life I've been beaten until 10th grade when it stopped. And of course just like every other parent, either with anything that they can grab or of course if your Asian and you have a bamboo stick it comes in handy too. Besides that I also have a problem with being yelled at to the point where I just can't take it and I cry. Me and my mom argue every other day from the simplest of things to greater things. Whether is that I can't paint my nails to the point where I can't even have a Job,or even a phone. Especially a boyfriend, I mean I've had one in 6th grade, I know. I was too young that's understandable but I never did anything! He lived far and there was no way I could have seen him. But my mother decided to call the police on me and try to take me to jail as a scaring tactic and then she went to my ex boyfriends house and told him off. Besides that I've given up and abided by her rules. I tried to have a relationship with my mom like a normal family, and I try so hard to have her be there for me like other parents do. I honestly, have done everything I can possible handle. I love my family. I do. But I can't stand to be around them any longer constantly getting yelled at. I don't know what I do wrong. I get good grades in school and I always put them first instead of what I need or want. I don't ask for anything because I think of money wise but when I do she yells at me and of course my dad follows along. But that's not even half the problem. My brother on the other hand I treat him so we'll I buy him food and I give him advice for school and other things so he won't get yelled at but instead he constantly yells at me and he's a year younger than me! It's insane. And finally, I've told my mom that I have tried to commit suicide and that I can't be around her because all she thinks about is herself. She says she doesn't have money or time when she goes out to party like 4 times a week and hangs out with her friends the other 3 times and then she buys all these high end brand things like Gucci and prada and etc. but she can't give me money for school purposes. And that was why I asked if I can have a job, and of course she said yes at first and told me I should get one if I ever wanted to get anything but then this year when I asked she said no. And specifically said "me and dad want your company at home " when they don't even come home and spend time with us. Like where is she ever in my life? Besides the younger days like ages 0-13 where she abused me. And must I add that every year from 5th trade to 9th I've always went to the guidance counselor and have not had good responses. They were no help until I met with a social worker at my high school in 10th grade. There are many things going on in my life and I can't handle it anymore. I put up with it everyday I back up my brother and I get yelled at. I do one small little thing wrong and I constantly get yelled at, and at the end of the day I just say okay and deal with it.. I mean who calls there child a disappointment ? So disrespectful. I just can't deal with it any longer and even my grandparents think my parents are bad parents. So what can I do? I've asked my grandparents if I can live with them without my parents knowing. But I know they will say no because I've asked before. I hate think this way and I hate being mean don't get me wrong. It frustrates me and gets me sad to the point where I just cry day and night and pray for a better day. I need help.

    Btw I'm not thinking suicide anymore, and I know people that will take me in. They've said it themselves and there married adults that I am close with and known for plenty of years.

  • #2
    RE: Runaway? 16 years old.

    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out and sharing you story with us tonight. We understand that it takes a lot to talk and share the experiences that you’ve been dealing with, so thank you. It sounds like you’ve been through so much. Your parents are wrong to treat you that way. You have every right to a safe living environment and you deserve better. You shared a lot and we want to make sure we can help you out the best way that we can. So let’s see what we can do.

    You mentioned that you have thought about suicide in the past (we’re glad that you are feeling better!). One resource for you that might help support you through tough times is the National Suicide Hotline. They are a good organization that can help talk through how you might be feeling, even if you’re not feeling immediately suicidal. You can contact them at 1-800-273-8255, 24 hours a day. They’ve had a lot of experience talking with people with similar experiences, so that might be one resource for you.
    So, we’re not legal experts here, but we are able to talk about what generally could happen if you decide to leave your home without your parent’s permission. It is not illegal to runaway. If you decided to leave, your parents could call the police and file a runaway report. If they file a report, then the police may actively search for you. If the police found you, they would return you back home to your parents (you would not be arrested). As soon as you turn 18, or are returned home, the runaway report goes away and does not stay on your permanent record.

    Now, it sounds like going to stay with these adult friends is an option for you. Those are just some potential legal outcomes that it might be important for you to know about. You also mentioned that you have a social worker at school who is close to you. Have you tried reaching out to her and sharing with her what you’ve talked to us about? She might be a good resources to help guide you through this time.

    Another option that you might have would be to stay at a shelter for teens. If you call into our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we would be able to look up some other resources for you. We can also talk through other options that you have and try to develop a good plan with you. You can call us 24 hours a day and we are confidential and anonymous. If calling isn’t your thing, you can chat with us through our website (Www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time.

    We look forward to your call or chat.

    We wish you the best,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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